posted on July 14, 2007 at 8:02 am

lost in the wilderness
the being
your being
your very own being
oh so lost
such a shame
the story thus far
and you realise
then and there
there is no other being
only being now
the present
the present you should unwrap
with or without the internet
just for the time being
and with this hiatus
with this rupture….
i feel strange
like ive changed
in these times
these peculiar times
no certainty attached
saturday night has arrived
somewhere wild parties
drunken groping on the verandah
beers knocked over
ashing on the carpet
music blares and blasts
people smoke dope
and discuss the world as they know it
cars pull up
cars leave
doors open n close
people get dressed
then undressed
then dressed again
a quick shower
hot water against yer hangover
find the keys
grab a guitar
pluck a string
sing some words
meet some people
say some things about yourself
im a virgo horse with no remorse
ive got a bad cough n i like to get off
the world occaisionally
hello hello yes yes
you are in the car travelling
the others around you in the dark interior
and you drive drive drive
thru the starry night
thru the cities and graveyards
the football fields and strawberry stalls
the others are laughing
ha ha they say
but then they seem so far away
remember all the drinking and drugging
and you slouch down low in your seat
and the music is playing
the inevitable music
the soundtrack to your life
except your life isnt a film
it isnt a story
or a biography
or a song
or even a blog
its something else
traffic lights change
a siren screams in the night out there
this amazing black night
this foreign night
this sentient night
this eternal afterwards
in the void left by applause
in the emptiness
and you drive drive drive
caravans and wire fences
used cars and little fluttering flags
the others are silent now
maybe asleep
their heads folded at crooked angles
the music plays on
the buldings go past
where am i
i say
where are we going
but no one answers
as they all dream in the car
as they twitch and move with the motion
feeling of imminent disconnection
feeling of discontinuity and dislocation
saturday night oozing away into sunday morning
that most sobering of times
when you wish youd been good
when you wish you were somewhere else
when you wish you knew what to wish for
drive on
down the road
it doesnt matter
someone else takes over inside
and you are not you
some part of you is gone
another part has gone
gone where i groan
grown up and all
everything is easier now
so much easier
so much lighter to glide
thru the heavy air
you crashed
now its my turn

43 Responses to “insider”

    Error thrown

    Call to undefined function ereg()