posted on June 27, 2007 at 5:31 am

im dreaming
in this dream im hanging out with grant
hes alive and im still a junkie
im so sick
im weeping in the dream but i cant get the stuff into me
it always slips thru my fingers at the last moment
grant catches me stealing from him
im at some holiday place
nk is there too
she looks on concerned
everythings going wrong so wrong
and im just struggling thru these blinding tears
trying to acheive my nebulous directive
feeling hopeless
i get up
a hacking cough due to cold n too much pot
my skin is stretched too tight in this coldweather
i feel dry and itchy all over
my hands feet n nose never warm up
the waves are huge
i climb in the baby pool
its so full of seaweed n marine debris
smells like a fish market
the water is cold n turgid
huge waves still crash over the sides
the vacuum of them pulls you down
if you come near
they hurl seaweed n sand n stuff at me
i climb into the sauna waterlogged
at least its blisteringly warm in here
i sit and watch my sweat drip drip drip
i heat up and up
my feet n nose n hands want more
but the rest of me is getting cooked
two handsome young brutes argue too noisily in a foreign lang
not russian but sounding like it
an olde friend of mine is in there
we talk a bit
i have a shower
put my nice warm clothes on
i go over to the edge of the deck n start my xi gong
justa like every otherday
i swing from side to side
breathing on different sides
i start my practise
a big ball of xi im holding
do the going round n round one
do the hands in n out one
now im doing the fish move
i got my eyes closed as yer sposed to
imagining the xi
the suns come out a bit
beginning to feel better
my hands fishtail to the left
i breathe in that lovely xi
fill me up o energy
im getting into it when…
like a giant bucket of cold water
chucked all over me
freezing seawater
a freak wave
im drenched standing there still in the fish mode
all the people on the deck cheer n laugh
very bracing says a woman doing yoga
i never saw it coming
i trudge home totally wringing wet
my boots my socks
my pants n my shirt
i take shirt off
n just wear jacket
wish i gotten round to mending all the buttons on it now
my ipod got soaked but miraculously is unscathed
i feel like the uni-fucking-verse is telling me something
miserably wet wretch squelching home
wheres the glamour?
do interviews with nz
i hate hearing me going on about me
really i do
ho hum
the 1st guy catches a stoned rave
that must have filled up his quota
with my 1st answer
a long winded rambling discourse
on art life music love and death
none of which he will or possibly could ever use
every answer i go on n on
interrupting myself with footnotes puns n analogies
at the end of each answer
ive totally lost track of where i started
vigorously answering questions no one has asked
what can we expect he asks
a fair enough question and possibly the most pertinent
suddenly i see myself onstage in some gig in nz
its fucking freezing cold outside
there i am onstage in front of a few people
what am i doing?
am i struggling with my 12 string
muffing all the chords n forgetting all the words
if you dont think i can play guitar listen to the solo
on she counts up the days on remindlessness
its a beauty
or didja know thats me playing lead on film off p=a
i played thru petes rig
n he played bass
so i can play guitar…
but suddenly on my own there..
my fingers freeze up
my voice dries out n i croak n warble
the kiwis are going
what the fuck ….?
play the hits
you see they tell me
that our first 2 records did ok
in nz
i wouldnt know
stunn records went arse up
n we never never got paid
ditto with carerre in europe
hey davem n gareth n all the rest of you pommy gits
got any carerre records?
they never paid us….
mind you they paid thru the nose
for that duran duran tour…
but they never paid me a farthing
but im not bitter…..much!
anyway i guess i can shtrumm a few choons
from the stunn days ….
or maybe not
actually i have no idea what i will do
do they really want that old guff?
oooh new zealand…aint been there for 24 years
they never asked us back….
maybe we’re ready for each other now
a lovely song by dimmer came on my shuffle
yeah hes always good shayne carter
you can trust him to do something good
always got some integrity
thats very nz i reckon
theyre high on integrity in their pop music
split enz
the crowdies
the bats
the chills
the fits
even dragon
and jesus
theres someone ive forgotten
the verlaines…?
yeah them too
and sam hunt that walking living breathing example of a poet
will sam grace the stage with me
and blow me offstage like he did at the po fest 04 qld
jesus a real poet at last
sam…will you come n see me somewhere
(i expect hes too busy declaiming verse somewhere)
and sam neill
if yer reading this
i felt like
we coulda been almost brothers
until the meat advertisements
im sorry sam
im disappointed in ya
so no
i wont be signing yer copy of the straw peoples utmw
number one in nz for 3 years straight
which means it sold 76 copies
and andrew broughs bike is good too
he was in the fits
its about a month away
i hope the 2 matt davidsons can duke it out
and may the impostre be deposed
and stop clogging up my comments with this tripe
im sitting home freezing my ass off
im gonna do some yoga
maybe thatll get me warm
after that
if it doesnt work….
only one thing comes to mind

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