whither goest thou, being?
in enchanted forests or great pulsing cities
under cowslips or among the insatiable machinery
there you’ll find me…
where hast thou been ?
in unimaginable unendurable silences
when my heart beat was the loudest thing on earth
when sleep eluded me and sickness licked me bare
alone in the wasteland of my ignorance
or running down the wrong road
grey dawns broke over me when i prayed for eternal night
the sun in the south withered my intentions
and northern snow blasted me blind
loneliness walked beside me on lonely coastal tracks
as dusk threw shadows across the world
and black shapes rose up inside the sea
in dismal rooms i sat and waited and waited
and i watched the railroads run away
upon an old horse riding up a hill
pulling my cartload of cares and woe
knocking on doors that never open
just angry voices from above telling me to get away
down by the highways edge with the weeds and small stones
where the broken glass and thorns hold sway
and the dead trees in the dead lake
following bad advice and divested of all that i had left
suffering the mocking whispers of the westwind
as its fingers lift my papers high into the treetops
where the blackbirds nest among the damp leaves
insane winters where i could not get warm
cracked skin and dry bones while my eyes run with tears
hard water and tasteless broth
headaches that stay for months
and im drained
messages scrambled
interference
collapsing sand walls
easter tide washes up flotsam and jetsam
and the faint sound of gulls crying
the water is chilly, uninviting
the air is thick with salt
basalt rocks squashed into squat grey blocks
black shells and rotting crabs claws
hooks and old bits of net
memories and regrets
the rust coloured sun sinks into metallic grey ocean
stranded on the point
yellowish foam
shipwrecks ghosts
the negation of all feeling