ok ok ok
so uh
yessaday
you unnerstand fiends
im in the studio
im a strumming my geetar n singing
when the young n rather naive engineer
motions to me to come into the controlroom
“ah steve theres someone outside to see ya!”
who is it, sunshine? i ask
“some olde guy” says the ‘neer
n then he looks up n has a good deco
at my white n bristly beardie
“…i mean, even older than thyself” he mumbles
i stand there puzzled?
who do i know whos older than me?
joycie bennett….gee there arent that many others..
“hes american” offers the young engineer helpfully
american? oh wow
this is interesting..
“..hes got straight silver hair…” he says
tom verlaine!!!!
oh wow its tom verlaine
suddenly a large figure strides into the control room
gee tom has put on weight…a real lot
but his hair is real nice now….
hang on…waiddaminnit..jus’ lemme c
that aint tommy milfigur vermont
its …
no it couldnt be
its…
“steve? im donald! call me donny r!”
no way
i mean
not the ex minister for war n death…?
what the hell…?
“lemme explain mahself”
said donny r in a brandy n cigar voice
and he sat down heavily
clutching his geetar case
“ya see i lost mah fucking job last week
and i look in the mirror
an i say donny yer still a fine lookin’ guy
yer silver hair looks pretty good
a lot fuckin’ better than eltons rug transplant
all that boyish hair on top of that silly old face
an billy joel …..ha!
and you know
i got the contacts
wanna play turkemenistan, boys…?
an’ you know
i aint just a gunslinger
im a geetar slinger too
and my motto?
make love and war baybee..
so ok you square cats
lets boogie woogie…!”
but donny i said very confused
whatcha doing here in botany with the chrunch?
“ah ha ya see i been thinkin bout a change in direction
for a while now”
donny confided in his big important voice
“and theres 3 things i know about rocknroll:
there are those who rock
there are those who do not rock
there are those who might rock
and then
there are those who rock
but neither we or them know it!”
but donny thats 4 things i said
“any way….”
says donny , giving me a furious glance
“i been looking for a band i could join
and i kinda hoped that after i had keith pushed outta his tree
i might get the job of rhythm guitar in the greatest rocknroll band
in the world…but the little bugger recovered
so i need to join a band where the guitarists have gone awol..”
but pete n marty aint gone ……awol….
suddenly i swallowed
the awful truth was dawning somewhere in my heart of hearts
“no, aint they?” smiled donny r with a twinkle in his rheumy eye
then i remembered
id gone round to get mwp in paddo that morning
a fucking no show
then out to the airport waiting for pk to get off his plane
nada, nothing
no luggage
not a trace
tim n i tried to ring em
we got a weird message from both their mobiles
a kinda white noise n some machine clicking..
but why the fuck didja choose us.i asked almost in tears
well i just googled mah name n the phrase space rock
and ya came up from yesterdays blog
and w
said as a last favour take the prez jet down under
and visit the boys
n
see what y’all can work out
and then w says
my little pal howard the coward
says theyre gonna be changing to a republic soon
and under the milky way gonna be a shoe-in
for national anthem
so yer in on a good thing donny!!
….anyway here i am
and im ready to fucking rock!”
the silverhaired warmongering old space rocker
pulled out a black les paul with gold fittings
plugged it into a marshall amp
he dipped his hand in his pocket
and pulled out a bloodred geetar pick
the donny r logo emblazed in silver like his hair
“a present from the boys at halliburton”
he chuckled to himself
then quickly tuned up the guitar
“check this out, boys”
he launched into a scorching riff
a macine-gunnin’, divebombin’, napalmhurlin howl of pain
tp and i looked at each other
youre in
i said
donny looked up from his fretboard
“you wont regret it” he grinned
he picked up a joint from the ashtray
n sparked it up
“and boys…?” he said in that deep croaky voice
“I fuckin’ inhale…!!!!”