once a ponna time
there lived a lovely little blogg called
bloggsy
one day his mother said take this space cake to granny blogg
who lives in yonder concrete jungle
but dont stop n talk to the wolves
well bloggsy never listened , did he?
as soon as he found the first wolf he stopped and talked to it
course the wolf didnt say much at first….
mmm he wanted to gobble down bloggsys space cake
there were not only wolves but hyaenas n goats
and everyone leered n pawed little bloggsy
someone nibbled at his archives
another dribbled n drooled on his sitemeter
some of the animals fondled his adjectival clauses
and bloggsy was very scared
he met some “straights” in a dark alley
“what have we here boys? a young blogge….? “said the biggest “straight”
bloggsy made a dash for it
scattering red herrings behind him as he ran
the “straights” stopped to gather them
and our brave little blogge got away jus’ fine
he could still hear them baying in the distance
as he panted down the main road
a po-liceman stopped him
“where are you off to, young blogge?”
he asked
“and whats this cakey you got here?”
the po-liceman snuffled at the cake with his snoutish whiskers
“and just who might your grandmother be?”
bloggsy didnae wanna get his granny busted
he snatched the cake from the po-liceman
and stuffed it down his throat in no time flat
suddenly nevets yeblik appeared
dressed up as sk
only playing me instead
and his muse was there
and the doodles
and the baby
then granny appeared
n said
wheres my effing cake, well?
and everyone laughed
cos bloggsy was sitting in a corner
listening to dark side of the moon
and looking at his hands
daddy blogge appeared
and all the littlies cheered
when he pulled out his guitar
and sang them a happy blogging song
one by popul vuh
and one by one
all the commenters
appeared
in a long line
of hundreds n hundreds
to shake little bloggys hand
bloggy, this is eek
bloggy, this is veleska
bloggy this is b bon
bloggy this is john garratt, be nice to him….
etc etc etc
all down the line
bloggy, this is anonymouse
bloggy this anonymouse too
etc etc etc
and then granny
asked for a second time
“i said wheres my effing cake you lot?!”
and we all laughed all over again
and aslan appeared
and said
“let granny have her effing cake then”
and we all cheered
and granny found a great big spacecake in her hand
and aslan winked at us n said
“childe, that cakes gonna blow the old bints knickers off!”
and then i noticed someone not laughing or having a good time
off by himself
was he faun or a saytyr?
no the thing said
i am steve kilbeys integrity and this blog is the last straw
then aslan gave a mighty roar and said
“steve kilbeys integrity come forward”
and it did
slowly before aslans majestic gaze
and everyone cheered n whistled
and one of the giants grumbled
“ere, whats all this then?”
and then everybody laughed again n went shush shush
aslans about to speak
and aslan looked at steve kilbeys integrity
and there was a big tear in his eye
and he said
“speak childe, what is it your heart desires”
the thing spoke up
“money, aslan…n plenty of it if your majesty pleases”
and we all looked up in amazement
a big fat dirty record exec appeared and said
behold, the royalties that were wrongly withheld
and the sky was suddenly grreen with thousand dollar bills
which floated gently to earth gracefully
steve kilbeys integrity was sent back to its own boring world
clutching deleriously at all the cash it could carry
“the poor thing” said aslan
“it could never live here in banarnia”
the little blogge became the happiest blogge ever
wow he said
thats so cool
and aslan said
“did any of you other cats read that pot helps against alzheimers?’
really i said..,.where did you read that?
“i forgot ” said the lion
and everyone laughed n laughed n laughed