see….?
turnbull is now leader of the opposition here in aust
my mothers prediction will come true
and i will dine out for the rest of my life
telling people how the prime minnyster staid at my house
and look at us
turnbulls got a 170 million in the bank(and owns the bank)
i got 170 dollars in the bank
gee he looks fucking olde tho
gee he looks a bit outta shape
dont look like ‘is missus likes him too much either
saw a picture of em
the body language said it all
shes got her arm round ‘im
but theres no body contact
shes keeping him at arms length
imagine what an insufferable prick he will be
when he is the primo fucking minister
and he will be
yeah i imagine hes bad enough round the home as it is
“mal-colm……where are the poodles diamante chains…
not the gold ones dear…the platinum ones…
oh malcolm….youve left 500,000 bucks lying all over the room
oh i do wish youd learn to clean up dear
i hear tony blair always folded his undies…..”
see…? theres somethings the olde time being just knows
remember how people used ta support the war in iraq..?
gee those were the days
people writing in here
saying i was adolf hitler
and how george bush was a good guy bombin’ them iraqis
hey …!
to catch a terrorist you gotta act like a terrorist right?
ok a few thousand civilians accidentally died
but we got u-day and quasi, right
and they were bad guys…yeah?
so…err…i guess mr bush worked out
on a sliding scale of evil
that they were worth …say , 5 thousand civvy deaths each
he probably actually brought both of em in under budget
(ie he wasted less civvies than he thought he would)
(which meant he could waste some more somewhere else)
anyway we now see iraq as a great success
and sorry about new orleans, folks
but you cant be everywhere
i personally feel much safer at night
knowing nth vietnam had to be stopped
or everyone here would be speaking vietnamese
you been out to the western suburbs lately…?
they are…
but what i’m getting at is…..
THEY NEVER SAY THEYRE SORRY…!
the bastards who start wars
all those fuckin’ people died in vietnam
horrifically and needlessly
one day
the u.s. says
ah bugger it
we’re sick of viet bloody nam
lets just pull out n go home
fuck em , eh?
and thats it…?
no apologies to the people saying all along
NO WAR IN VIETNAM!!
all them protesters and peaceniks
locked up or beaten or framed
AND THEY WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!
the war was fucked up (aint they all)
but the idiots who started it
didnt wanna stop until they were ready…
until they killed enough soldiers to feel like
theyd had a proper war
you do need a proper war….dont you?
for displays of imperialistic might, i mean…
can one ever imagine
in the distant future
when uncle sam has drowned in his own cholesterol
and rule brittania up to her eyeballs in take away curry n goss mags
and finally
good olde orstralia rises up to the top
the new world policeman
but just a bit lazier than the others
HEADLINES 2058
war flashpoint in middle east
australian president
mal turnbull the third
says
“we’ll sort it out…
after christmas”
when asked about plans for global warming
turnbull said
“i’m just enjoying these antarctic pineapples right now..”
in other news
steve kilbey the hundred n four year olde space rocker
released his new album
“stoned methusalah” (out now on zog )
kilbey described it as similar to 2045s
” the eighties are back”
but with more
biffo
in other news
ricky maymi aged 86
is still out there
being a bad ass rocker
“i play in 437 different bands these days, kinda keeps me busy”
oh ha ha ha ha ha