a beautiful beast alights in the night

in my warmest cabin heart in my soft childhood glow

in my cosy hour before sleep i’m all dreamy

all my memories are soft and red

my dad is dead and alive

in my blessings which i counted on

i roll my dice twice not quite a full house

a pair of coincidences

a pair of choose

a single point of implosion from whence springs forth universes

my man

as i sleep i wrote this poem right now

in my dreamiest dream i am a great poet writing his book

blah blah fucking blah i go

some medieval doctor ponced up in my gown

against a backdrop of castles and towers and forests i go

a man of astronomy a man of the lord

certain rites that unconstrain my soul

i wander in the cemetery come across my own grave

that cant be right !…. i must be confused

someone is waving a flag in my face

go on!  screams the crowd whove gathered around

with my foot to the floor i sped in to a beyond

slow down! warns the law

i hurtle recklessly unable to stop

god in his universal form is almost unobtainable

our ears would burst our eyes would grow opaque

our minds our books our grandest theory fails to contain him …

asking him why he did this or didnt do that……?

why ….its like  a flea asking leo da vinci about his tea..

yet

more and more i feel his presence

one thing at a time

in his different aspects

i feel the blessings of saraswati goddess of art

as my fingers travel over wood and paper and wires and keys

as i try with my mind tho always via my fingers to pull something out

pull something out of this stubborn darkness that does not always give lightly

somehow i have received her sublime blessings

it is with with great love she guides her devotees

now a new voice directs my hand

it guides me over shadow through echo out of hyperbole

oh wonderful spirit i cannot accept your gifts without proclaiming your generosity!

i saw my fathers fingers wander over his piano

how do you know what theyre doing ? i asked him once

i dont know they just do it on their own now ..he said

the music itself would take him and it would make his fingers roam the keys

only occasionally crashing into discord

the spirit that good spirit has possessed and moved through me too

oh great joy and blessings my beautiful children all too singing playing

making and will make more beautiful music for this world

humble servants of a greater creator

who says to the birds sing !

he says to man sing !

man says but what do we sing?

he says to man everything you sing will in some way be me

man says where will i find you when i need you?

but man realises he is in an empty room on his own

talking to himself