pre-crash
grey hours
cant come
struggle
thrash
baby says
oh baby …..
thunder sounds somewhere
the palms moving
the strangers cars
i touch her dress
please be easy with me she said
i whispered sure
sure sure sure
but that feeling was building up
the pressure
the motivator
the prime mover
obsession whips you on
the warm sultry night made for…this
i cant decide in my heart what to do
i gently lay my fingers on her bruised neck
breathe in that smell
warm smell of life
warm safe feeling
the lights change
i decide to accelerate before i realise
my feet push down
my hands grope the wheel in the darkness
i feel her hands go down down
touching me
touching me like i was some kind of monster
with some kinda naive horror of men
the window is veiled in a haze
i cant really see where i’m going
where shall i drop you ?someone laughs back there
i touch a button
and deep in the engine
a sensor convulses and responds
the liquid gushes up in jets
the wipers go into action
i see where we are now she says
as i slide along in the slipstream of speeding van
all the little processes
that keep us where we are…where we going
the fluids circulate
the diaphragms contract and expand
the momentum is beginning
we roll along furiously
explosions but controlled
the complexity of all the systems
guided by satellite
guided by the stars
guided by instinct and intuition
baby changes up automatically
my new baby
my old baby
my noisy baby
crying all night long
as we rush past the used car joints
and the green lights of the flesh districts
i slow down a little
she rolls down the window
see anything you like…?
the radio comes on
some bullshit jungle thing
i slide down into her seats
i touch the chestnut dash
i glance down at the console
where various dials calculate latitude and altitude
i push in my disc
the radio cuts off
a metallic insistent tick tick tick starts up
i am i am i am
yeah its me aint it baby
i never heard of you before tonight
says my little liar
and you know
she gets me so angry
and so worked up
dont be angry daddy
pleads that silly sooky girl
but shes being so cynical and hard bitten
shes not afraid of me
shes goading me
shes using me
shes riding me into the dust
then she’ll just walk away
while i’m crashed and moaning in some motel room 205
when i cant find my keys or my money
i hear the shower going
i burst into the bathroom
and theres baby all clean and pink and white
oh maybe i can forgive her her trespasses
maybe goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life
maybe its ok to do this kind of thing sometimes
maybe god will look the other way
oh honey you seem like a stranger
i watch baby child in the mirror
with one eye on the power
one eye on the light
she pushes herself into my hands
take this and this and this
sometimes the only way to negate this man beast
is to drown in woman
woman woman woman
i am a man destined to love woman
come with me out of our bodies she says
oh daddy wont you come
dont call me daddy you little fool…!
she slaps my fucking face
you little….
yeah fuck you daddy she says
the moon roof opens sucking in night air
oh i know where we going now little daddy
we glide in unison down neptune parade
we swoop across the sleeping city
sweeping up the ghostly spirits
phantom armies marching in the dawn
children taken from their homes
the old drunks lying in glamourous gutters
me n baby dont see or hear
time for your next installment
the phone rings and dies away
baby answers
its her boyfriend mr weird
dont tell him bout me i’m signalling
yeah you know steven shes saying to him
i groan and we swerve suddenly into the wrong exit
that was bloody stupid i screaming at her
yeah
shes so defiant
standing there in the shower
talking to some idiot in her head
wash my back n make yourself useful she says
and her back is broad strong and white
her wet blonde hair falls on her shoulders
dont kiss me wash me she says
as i kangaroo away past the speeed camera
please reduce speed says the sign
but my foot is heavy on the (w)horsepower
you may be filmed using this machine
laughs mr weirds stranger baby
dont put me on the net i growl
oh no i wouldnt do that laughs someone in the room
i wake up and my clothes are all gone
dressed in a towel full of biting tarantulas
people lying around
smoking and murmuring pleasantly
fuck this ! i shout at them
and i find my trousers parked next to my car
jump in baby says my driver
she hits the radio
listen its our song
she says
what about mr weird i ask
oh who…oh ha ha ha
i hadnt thought about him for seconds
look i dont want it all over again…ok?
what baby what?
dont call me baby
and dont call me daddy
ok baby daddy she sneers
you got a nerve being smart to me i say
especially when i’m driving
no daddy i’m driving she says
triumphantly holding up my keys and my wheel
mr weird leans forward from the back seat
yeah uh huh he laughs
i been here all along