posted on May 24, 2007 at 5:42 am

saw the prestige last nite
whatta load of laughable tripe
what a waste of re-sauces
oh i wish i could get that budget
and make film about magic at the turn
of the twentieth century
containing the olde identical twin switcheroonie
yeah that tiresome olde malarkey ya seen on a dozen soapies
and a machine that duplicates human beans….yipes!!!!
built by ziggy czardust nun the less
huge jackmann..hes a bit of an enig, ma
as the wolverine …wow!!
as anybody else hes kinda…i dunno
i mean christ i envy his abs n his milly-yons
but i think hes just a bit soppy or something
he shoulda taken a leaf outta clint eastwards book
and tried to stick to tuff roles
real disappointed with this half baked pudding
and hope the illusionist is better
but im sure its silly too…eventually
i guess the thing i think is silly
is the thing most people like
and the thing i like
most people really dont want it
“ridiculous” my dad used to say
we were watching a film on the telly
about this magician
and my dad was quite enjoying it i guess
when suddenly something happened
i dunno the magician flew or something
“thats bloody ridiculous, son” says dad
and thats the end of it
“its like theyre making it up as they go along” he says
putting the boot in in one last statement
before getting up n going to bed
howcome i always liked things like that
my dad liked things to all be squared away come end of film
no david lynch type sudden bang! cop that! everythings different !
he wanted to know why that bloke could speak such good german
that he could fool the high german nazi command
with his eton german and impersonate the gerries
“i tell ya son, the germans werent that bloody stupid”
he didnt like it that the cowboys never got their hats knocked off in fights
or when they said, clutching their arms
“dont worry its a flesh wound”
“when a bloke gets shot like that it’d blow ‘is bloody arm off” said dad
who i guess had seen it..
“‘e wouldnt be standing there like that” dad said
im not like that
i want it unexplained about unexplainable things
thats what films are for
i saw a film about mr houdini
who as you know is a major obsession of mine
i was bemused to see a scene
where houdini is sitting in the bathy
and his wife sits down on him
and says
youre not the only one who can make things disappear
did we have to have “patter” like that
in a film about a man who i reckons wife
did not say things like that at all
but who knows
and why tarnish their reputation with something as feeble as that?
oh a film about houdini should be mysterious
not stony curtis neither…
oh i see it in my head
twilight mysterioso
starring as houdini
the time being
as the old houdini just before his demise
huge jackmanne can play young houdini
and this time we’ll get it right
play down the love interest schmaltzy bullshit most of us hate
give the thing more magical marvellous muscle
a surrealist kick up the ass
dont explain nothin’
just let it bee baybee
and if ya dont dig this mess
you got the wrong address
or i could play the older crowley
the great beast himself
or both of em
who are actually twin brothers
an evil twin
you betcha
hell throw nicky tesla back in there
i can play triplets
huey duey n wackatooey
someone fer chrissake gimme a billion bux
anda breef to make a magic movie
i’ll edit it all on my imovie just like the guy in tarnation
and that was best visual movie i ever scene
(great when he does diviner)
i’ll film it on an olde camera i found at the bondi st vinnies
write the script?
do make up?
if i want it
yes…tomato sandwiches
yep and executive as well (whatever that means)
director cameraman n best boy?
me me me
anything else?
dont worry i’ll take care ov it
im actioning it!
give me some kind of some thing please
take my script i havent written yet
cos i know theyll never read it
its a phenomenon in my head
you aint seen nothin’ like it
you prob’ly never will
and i did all the stunts
steve, is there anything up yer sleeve?

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