posted on September 9, 2016 at 11:27 pm

not tut

all of this will one day pass

it is of no consequence what he says or she does

all the lies

all the truth

who will care ?

unscrupulous bastards

paragons of virtue

ordinary old scrubbers

the waiter with the bill

the noise the hoo ha

the jockeying

the dirty flirting thats always hurting

the black eye

the eviction notice

the mezcal still going down n making me sleepy

oh to sleep and sleep and sleep

oh to wake up in a sunny past when everything was just so splendid

the wheels crank around

the orbs move through the sky

nothing changes

everything changes

its all still going on out here

theyre all still closing in on us

the cops the lawyers the soldiers the ghosts

a hundred thousand born

a hundred thousand die

but sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep

how i envy those deep dreaming in some lovely sleep

outside tho

its cold and im getting old and my skin is tight and hurting

strangers love me but lovers are estranged how very strange

no i aint got the power anymore

i impotently hurl words at pages

old and fragile faker

just another contender just another lender just another bender

fill me up with more drugs and more drink and more women and more music

send me to bed without my fucking supper

look at me sadly as i sit up in bed waiting for something that never arrives

walk around the room putting things away thank you for all the hooks

remembering blue days and photographs of apples

remembering velvety rivers and gentle evenings

remembering all those heads that lay on my shoulder

remembering screaming down a million phones at a million different people

everyone of them was me

the preposterous jostling against the pleasant mundanity of life

i hate sunday and i always will

i already feel it coming down the line

i hate loneliness i hate crowds

i hate silence i hate noise

i hate hating stuff and i wonder where all the love evaporates when its gone

i wonder how long im s’posed to play my latest part and i fear not much longer

the words fall out of the sky

the messages come in like stupid little pigeons

oh i love you

oh now i hate you

oh now i am at the shop do you want anything?

oh why dont you come down to charlies bar where we’re all having a drink?

oh why dont you lighten up

oh why dont you take it more seriously

oh why dont you pay the interest on your credit card and avoid a late fee

oh why dont you write a song about all of this

my legs are hurting

my eyes are sore

i like looking at my face still and admiring my angles

i could do anything i like but i do nothing

i shouldnt do anything but theres nothing i like anyway

now i am already asleep

the bills have paid themselves

the problems have been solved as i dreampt

i feel warmth in my limbs

as i sleep i hold my cock in my hand

my hair looks stupid when i wake up

its still only very early but the aeroplanes are rattling all my statues of buddha

the phantom groupies are all getting dressed and having showers and leaving

the long dead boys of all the old bands are smoking cigarettes as the van splutters to life

we’re in germany

we’re in iowa

we’re in strathfield

i lied to you all i never wrote any songs

or played any gigs

i was never a junky

i never was in bed with yer sister

i never left school

my name isnt even steve fucking kilbey

how gullible you were to believe all that nonsense

how lovely it is to sleep in my little bed all snugly in my boots and jacket

how unobtainable the past suddenly is

oh its lovely down here

tell me

why would ya ever wanna wake up?

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