‘ardly unpacked my bloomin’ suitcase
and now im off
headed for
taz-mania
now i aint ever been a tasmaniac myself
its a little creepy down there i think
but um….duty calls and i must wrock
tonite is a nite off actually
in hobart
capital of taz
know where you can find a ho, bart?
actually i never say ho or whore either
i refer to women i dont like as cows or bints or scrubbers or dodgy boilers
i refer to men i dont like as pigs, wallies,imbeciles or sometimes even dick-nose
i imagine a dick-nose and a dodgy boiler could have some interesting progeny
actually i dont swear much at all
except for prodigious use of the word fuck
why do i say fuck all the fucking time
well my dad liked that word
but he NEVER used it at home in frunna mumnkids
at lyneham high you had to say fuck as many times as you could
in one sentence. eg
i fuckin’ fucked fuck-face off, he’s a fucker anyway
i fuckin’ hate him hes fucked and i hope he fuckin’well gets fucked….fuck!
i guess they couldnt get the lyneham outta the bouy…
anyway whre was i ?
the music biz is very big on the word too…
we didnt fuckin get our fuckin drinks or fuckin soundcheck!so fuck you AND them!!
yeah?
yeah!
well fuck you too!
yeah fuck u2 too!!
now if my mothers reading this
you can see mother im only using this word as an example
not actually swearing myself…
its dialogue …..
anyway today its tas and im underwhelmed by the thought
and first i ‘ave to go some where
and pick something up before airport
no fiendss not drugzz neither
some eekwipment wood ya beleaf
god im getting sick of this silly spelling too
and yes i gotta make the most of my morning with fambley
cos i got my fambley manne hat on
aurora n eve say things wistfully like
“gee dad its not the same when youre not here”
“i wish you didnt have to go today”
and they dont seem so convinced that me
strummin’ a guitar at some winery in tas
is a great reason to not be home with them
during the holidaze
the bumper is a delight
(except at nite when she turns into baby hyde)
she has her own weird dance
i mean im a muso baybee…i seen a lotta folks dancin’
but i aint never seen this before
theres some music she really likes too
like kate bush n tori amos
genesis
the cherch
nks moby record
oh yeah and the rolling stones
stevie nicks
when any of those go on
she looks at ya n flashes her eye
crouches down low n sways
often stand with all her weight on one leg
in a strange pose that reminds me of a medicine man
like shes following these prescribed movements
and shes very serious and concentrating
i mean when the doodles were that age
theyd hear music n run around the room
colliding falling over n laughing
scarlet bends at the knee
and slowly goes up n down n side to side
freezing into position occaisionally and looking up meaningfully
it is a most amusing yet confusing display
where is she getting this dance routine from
hell im even trying to emulate it onstage such is its strange charm
anyway ho- bart still looms out there
down there towards the south pole
where i dinnae really wanna go
i like my palm trees n balmy breezes
i like my warm wet grey days by the sea
yessaday we went to botanic gardens
(when i shamefully stumbled back outta bed at 2 in arvo)
i saw the very sad sight
of a baby water fowl had fallen into a pool of water
inhabited by a huge grey eel
and the parent birds couldnae get it out
standersby we trying to keep the eel away from babybird with sticks
but cruel brutal nature inevitably had its way
and mr eel had fresh baby waterfowl for his lunchy
the mummyfowl squeaked n cooed mournfully
n i said to nk
you know to that bird …she loved that baby like we love the bumper
and we both felt sad
and yes fiendss
nature is ruthless
anyway tonite hob-art
tomorrow the wino ree
i bet ya all a tenner
that there aint no internet at the hotel in hobart
ho ho
love
the being