well that bloody well does it, i’m afraid
what?
my mum cant come down n see us cos of the pope
the bloody pope?
he’s in sydney for world “youth” day
do “youth” need a day
isnt youth its own bloody reward
why not old slightly deaf codgers day
or middle aged women who never got married day
or people who are bad at maths day
or people who hate broccoli day
get the picture…
quite frankly…..youth…..they got it good
why should they have a bloody day
its sunday ….aint it enough…?
dont give em a day
no one asked me….bloody youth….
oh heres your day
and all us older non youths or children not yet youths
will bow and supplicate and anoint your athletic feet with oil
oh youth hurrah! hurrah!
look i thought youth had it good already
you know no arthritis or gout or all the rest
the fountain of youth…yes please…i wanna be young again
leave my old brain in…but change the rest
erase these wrinkles
whiten these old teeth
straighten my aging bones
thicken my hair
steady my gaze
strengthen my limbs
etc etc etc
i wont need a day …will i….?
but you know what they say
youth is wasted on the young
and thats because
you wont know how great it is being young
until i all starts to end
thats right
all those gorgeous perfect youths gonna end up olde
and thats a trip in itself and its a lesson to learn
my old man said to me
you arrogant little sod…you think yer gonna be 18 forever…?!
and i, in my igno and arro gance
i said yes…i’ll never be olde like you are
oh yes i thought i would find a way to stop the grey
oh ha ha
pity dad aint around to laugh at me now
another olde guy courtesy of olde father time
now im not complaining
im nearly fifty four but it aint that bad
not as good as eighteen i s’pose
actually i can sing n play better
i can paint better
i’m much nicer to people…i can talk to em now
i can lurve much much better ..oh yes
i can swim better
i can do yoga better
i can do so much more
if you knew me at 18 you can still see its me
my hairs still the same colour
its getting thinner like my dads did
but its still brown …not white
you’d know me if ya saw me
but
but
oh no i’d love to be young again
young for fucking ever and ever
but getting wiser n wiser
ha ha
that is not this worlds design, fiendss
i’d like to tell ya that i stumbled on the fountain o’ youf
but alas i see in the mirror that it is not so
just lately i really looking my age
but thats as it should be
ive had those years
they cannot come back again
and mankinds attempts at eternal youth will always go wrong
witness botox and plazzy surgery…what a mess
i’d rather have my wrinkles and saggy bags
than some fucked up weird face thats scares children
like a lady in bondi we call botox meat
she looks like a bloody trout
just cos she wanted to look young
now she looks young…like a young salmon
all shiny and discoloured and stretched all out shape
nows shes bloody frightening…is that what she wanted
whats wrong with being whatever age you are
if youre a decent human with charm and grace
you can be 9 or 90 and its a pleasure to meet ya
i met gorgeous people and their beauty is a pain in the arse
elli n minna…you cant get younger or more beautiful than them
but dealing with em is ridiculous cos of their age
who cares about some anorexic bint dressed up in versace bollocks?
not me…..i take people as they come these days
and quite frankly i dont give a toss about yer “youth”
i aint bitter
i dont resent it
hey…we all get our time in the sun
and if you do yoga n dont eat dead stuff
you may look as good as me when yer this ancient
remember im 6 years off 60
but as for world youth day
bah humbug and piss off
as far as the pope..
now lets see
hes the incredibly wealthy nominal head
of a large secretive organization
who have over the years killed and tortured millions of people
thats right
from the people who brought you the witch trials
and the inquisition
and all kinds of wars and strife
ladies n gentleman
some olde geezer dressed up in a silly white costume
complete with the most awful hat you ever seen
(even i wouldnt look good in that)
some silly olde pontiff
thats clawed and bribed and threatened his way
to the top of a heap of child molesters and powerdrunk wankers
proclaiming himself infallible..(oh ha ha ha ha ha)
cranking out some dismal misinterpretation
of a book of dubious fables
his own organization helped to obfuscate at nicea ages ago
(put this in…take this out…get rid of this bit)
yep then they made themselves rich n powerful
playing on the suspicions n fears of us plebeians
all the while buggering little boys and poisoning each other
and selling dispensations
(eg baron boffly has murdered another man, cardinal..
yes…well that’ll cost him 2000 silver marks if he wants to get to heaven)
they repressed science
they repressed women
they meddled in politics
they were a useless pack of self serving fuckers
that ballsed up christs message of love
and were totally unable to live it
the pope…..in sydney….for youth…oh hardy ha ha
what has this crusty old bishop got for youth this time
make em feel guilty?
promise em some pie in the sky bullshit if they believe in yer nonsense ?
go on popey..tell em about all the wise- women in germany
your lot roasted alive cos they didnt conform to your superstitious jive
yes pope yer still the same olde crowd
with yer fucking opus dei and your big money deals
and attempts to get bigtime catholics in power like the old days
but oh dear
attendance is dropping off in the church
all churches (including mine, wise guy)
gee mr pope
what pathetic hogwash will you pull out to save your churchs career
cos quite frankly
they been saying its the end of the whole pope malarkey soon
and good riddance to a stupid idea
you aint the right hand man of god
youre just a silly old sod in a costume
and someones written a speech for ya
and theyve closed down half the roads in syddley
and my mum cant come down
so some outdated olde ponce can recruit some more youf
and quite frankly mr pope you can sod off to hell
or purgatory
or wherever
dont come back ‘ere!