posted on November 9, 2007 at 2:40 am

uh oh
that g word is loose on my page
raw power blasts on the i-box
and scarlet defaces a 2006 vegan calendar
the weather is grey and dreary
nagging doubt still hanging about
and there last night on the comment page
a link to a website that rates the level of intelligence
required to read any blogges
so of course i put my blogges
it says genius
i got the e-certificate to prove it
if you scroll around a bit
on this very page
you will find it
(thanks to jolly hordern for techsupport)
oh dear
im afraid thats one of those words that sets me off
all over the place
they told me at high school i had the iq of a genius
and wondered why i was doing so averagely
i grew up believing john lennon n bobby dylan were geniuses
and albert einstein
isaac newton
da vinci
van go go
not a term dished out lightly
not many across the board genii neither like leonardo was
you know
einstein figured out e = aura2
but could he paint to save his life?
what scientific advance has dylan ever made?
can you be a genius at a very specific thing
or is it an all round accomplishment?
for example
could one
be a genius blogger but quite ordinary everywhere else?
if youre ingenious are you in, genius?
can a genius lack ingenuity?
and what the hell does it mean that e-certificate
that my readers are required to be geniuses
in order
to understand my blogges?
immediately suspicious
i typed in
i suspected that the criteria for my genius rating
must be due to having a large and colourful vocabulary
and i thought that in that case
sam sejavka will be an interesting test blog
he uses all kinds of arcane and strange words after all
it wouldnt be sam without it
the answer comes back
high school
hes awarded a high school e-certificate
that is the ability required to read his blog (?)
(which i would dispute by the way)
does anybody out there know how they would calibrate such things?
the program must be looking for certain word combinations
or is some mysterious panel reading and rating somewhere
housewives at home reading and rating blogs for extra bickies
i would love to know
and as a compliment to you
my dearest readers
my backbone and my support in my declining years
you reader
who doth verily understand these words
i labour over each day
a labour of love
i can assure you
as a wonderful vindication of your intellectual prowess
you sir
you madam
are assessed as a genius
(as hard as it may be for some of you to believe….)
isnt that nice?
you read my blogge cos you liked that song i wrote
4 million years ago when we were all babes in the would
and now
some distant hand declares you genius
sort of…
did you ever suspect how clever you were to understand my jive
do you really understand
or are you here out of loyalty
or looking for ideas
cos the being throws away brilliant ideas
like others throw away the shells of pistachio nuts
beware if you steal my idea
i’ll hunt you down with my team of lawyers
working for me round the clock
examining things for traces of ttb intellectual copywrite
i can now fully let my own disputed genius loose more and more
i have reined it in in the past
for fear of appearing too highbrow
too esoteric, derek
and so
from now on
expect more online genius than before
each blogge will contain one new scientific proof
plus essays on mathematics history and amazing facts
youd be stupid not to be a genius these days
ttb is
now you can join this exclusive club
and guess what genius
its cool to donate
especially if you are a genius

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