i dont feel any different
the substances have no effect
i’m surprised to learn i’m not perfect
i’m surprised to see that i was only jokin’
i walk to school in my uniform and my nice hair
i do my lessons and i slowly grow up
i always nice to peoples mothers and sew polite
i wash up my plate and i in bed early like a good un
at age 13 i discover i can astral travel and i go mad
at age 14 i pick up the bass guitar
at age 15 i discover a new continent in my back garden
at age 16 i start to pronounce “schedule” the wrong way
at age 17 i write a good little song
at age 18 i…..oh its so long ago
the colours were different then
everybody was so nice afterwards
that little book of tips came in handy
mr pierce from over the road was never home
i didnt like oblongs
in the future i would change my mind
the wheels had more of a circle then, you know
i was chosen to walk off the moon
my registration was uneven
my real name was slim shandy
my homework ate my doggerel
i collected and restored geiger counters
i went to a cafe
i looked at the men you
i went from zero to hundred in one mexican minute
i checked into the hotel california
i was hummin’ n strummin’ all over gods earth
a book came out about the different types of lava
the vase looked simply wonderful where mother had put it
uncle hugo made us laugh for hours with his little puppet
tosca richards felt queasy on the ferris wheel
mrs pritchard didnt care for chutney
the audience didnt seem to be clapping anymore
my room had a stale feeling
a piano fell on someone and we laughed
peter and i missed our plain
ricky rolled a joint
sometimes it rained for a while
the phone rang and i answered it
someone had a party but i couldnt go
the doctor listened to my mind
on the way out his receptionist smiled sadly
a car was waiting but not for me
my brother said oh stop it, will ya?
my daughters were fighting
i went next door for a while
there was a strange sound coming from somewhere
i had a piss in the darkness
that summer …boy ..it was hot
they got a new guy at the shop
i scratched my head
the thorns caught in my leg and my blood was crimson
i woke up and felt sick
dad was looking troubled
i sat in a car for miles
i walked down a street
i knocked at a door
i go inside a place
i sit down n watch telly
i drink me milky tea
i eat me chocky biscuit
i fall asleep eventually
boy
what a wild ride!