posted on March 27, 2007 at 8:43 pm

oh impressions of life
how improbable it all is
i still have to remind myself
a multi-multi-levelled happening
being how lucky you are
you are a lucky being and how
like rusty always says
the luck of the devil
ive been lucky to have those 2 guys for mina broder
well it coulda been a lot worse
i coulda gotta nother pair of mes….
still fascinated by memory
i experiment with my minds library
drugs and yoga can dislodge whole obscure chunks
hitherto given up as “cant remember anymore”
i am stranger within my own brain
stranger than you can imagine
but what is it that contains the other memories
the ones i shall not see
i catch a glimpse of something so inviting
and something so awful
and sometimes i cant tell them apart
all i can tell you is theres a lotta material there
a lot of files to peruse
a lotta data to examine
who set it up this way o muse?
nevets youd go crazy if you knew all that stuff
they release it to you in tiny drops
lifetime over lifetime
incarnation on incarnation
who writes these words o muse?
you do nevets
but who am i?
who am i?
who am i?
you are you are you
timebeing in space
mortal man
must i feel so alone then
muse i feel like the water in my bath has gone cold
muse i feel like the candles have suddenly extinguished themselves
and next doors box of kittens have turned into crows
yes yes
calm down
little poppet
poor nevets
you child-man
how can they let you run about like that?
a bitter vah disgrace
making this all up
whos talking now?
are we alone here?
down here
down here in this black box
driving in this fog
the object of the game remains unknown
no object
no game
then what?
forget yourself
then what ?
youre not able to know it
whats down there in those memories?
only you
then let me have them
i do, all the time
but i want more faster
i bet you do
give me memory
oh nevets
not mine to give
this memory mine …
but still contained within
nevets you always looking for a guarantee
from the moment you get up
to the moment you lay down
but never never
a leap of faith
you hear so much about faith
but you gotta believe in something
so why not faith?
what is faith?
hoping something improbable is true
knowing inside in unexplainable terms
diving into black water
walking around blindfolded in the dark
hearing possibilities
faith is different
faith can not be pinned down with definition
yeah ok
whatever you say
isnt it strange that the very thing youre hoping for
the very thing in a nutshell
the most important thing
the most confidential information
it remains…..elusive

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