masks of humanity
the tall and the handsome
the legless and lonely
old alcoholic women curse n spit
models stride by, oblivious in their frozen contempt
children urchins spoilt brats orphans
angry businessmen screaming down the line
crooked liars
saintly mages
hungry ghosts on my back
sucking up my addictions
gamblers roll the dice
farmers watch the sky
soldiers keeping peace
hindus n jains
islam n jews
blacks n whites
boys n girls
doctors cut deep
nurses mop up
drivers swerve
the fortune tellers gaze into my palm
the stargazers blind in the light
all these parts i will have played
half angel
half beast
half human
3 quarters of my life evaporated somewhere
years melt
i wake up worried
some bad omen
some intrusion from a thousand years of living
god , coy, elusive, seemingly random
people come n go
seasons in flux
storms dislodge memory
i write songs
i procreate children
i meet n greet
i argue
i pacify
to him im a fool
to him im another fool
a brave coward
a stupid wiseman
everyone looking for something
im nervous when i travel
anna miranda my eldest
mercurial kind jumpy pretty funny
she leaves me a note
“sweet daddy, here are my keys….”
elektra june my second eldest
a swedish helen of troy
beautiful arrogant sharp scornful unconcerned
aurora justine my 3rd child
and closest to me
old soul, brown eyes, haunted every nite by her nascent gift
she says the darndest things…shes so wise beyond her years
evie starr, her non identical twin
tough, resourceful, self centred, a natural artist n athlete
baby scarlet virginia
just a chubby ball of potential…
good natured, cheerful, but bad tempered if ignored
this is my life
this is my diary
this is me
a bundle of contradictions n paradoxes
my mum reads my blogge
she hates it when i swear
my dad watches over me from heaven
patiently waiting for me to arrive
“hey slim, watch yerself” he laughs
my dad who i nicked all my jokes n gags off
thirty years since we last spoke
wendy (a white witch)
says i have the purple aura of a healer
but i chose the electric bass instead
at this incredibly late stage of the game
i choose to drop the masks
theyve done me no good
i actually learn to sing
i actually try to listen to people
peoples sorrow destroys me
it goes straight to my heart and i cry
i have ripped the veneers away
now
im cut open like a fruit
feeling the pain n joy of being a human
i been procrastinating this my whole life
i thought smack would protect me
i thought women could shield me
i thought jumping up on a stage
and making a huge racket would render me impervious
i thought fame would make me lovable
i thought rocknroll had all the answers
i thought bad things only happened to others
i thought everything would be so easy
i thought i could get away with blue murder
and still be red hot
i laughed at the fools
i spat on the down n outs
i scornfully threw a pittance to beggars
i sponsored kids in brazil n india
till i ran outta money that i needed for drugs
i ran with the best n the worst
i ripped and was ripped off
i did bad deals with greasy pigs who robbed me blind
i had bad luck with cars
i lost everything i owned
until i realised it wasnt anything at all
i scrambled up a ladder
i slithered down a snake
i made enemies thick n fast
with my cruel tongue and my piercing eyes
i helped some
i hindered others
i lost people i loved
i found others and i loved them too
i married my wife
who was calm n patient n gave me everything
i started over
here there n everywhere
i read books
i watched pornography
i mainlined speedballs
i took ketamine and floated a million miles above my body
i drank booze n slurred n swayed
i went in studios
with songs without songs
i produced n engineered n mixed
i got good n bad reviews
jealous little cunts tried to cut me down
slobbering syncophants elevated me to geniushood
i resisted change
i made mistakes
i toured the world round n round n round
i did things most people only dream of
i did things most people would revile
i stooped low
pawned my guitars
i got rolled
i got laid n waylaid n paid n underwhelmed
i detoxed n retoxed
changed my sox n my mind
i was all things to all people
i was a nothing
a washed up prodigy
a naive old man
a rude boy
i took the wrong road round
yeah
thats my story
nothing special
i took up swimming n yoga n chi gong
i learnt another language
i learnt to be a father
a little farther down the track
i did stupid dangerous things that involved the ones i loved
i was nice to scumbags n never complained
when i wanted to score
i cursed god
i prayed to god
i search for god
i lose god
i search again
i read the chronicles of narnia to myself n my kids
i idolised marc bolan till my mother thought i was gay
i dyed my hair
i had fancy clothes
i was skinny as a rake
and porky as a pig
i was a teenage zombie
falling asleep to diamond dogs
on top of a stack of playboys
i read the gita
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read trainspotting n the fucking da vinci code
i did push ups
sit ups
put downs
i put you all on
i crashed on peoples couches
i stayed in 5 star hotels n stole the towels n ashtrays
i huddled in caravans smoking rohypnols
i drove a honda prelude that got stuck in second gear
i had a mistress
i had a master
i taught songwriting to people who couldnt write a song
to save their lives
i wrote bad poetry
i wrote good poetry
i pissed off people in the bizz
and theyll never forgive me
i got gold records
i got amalgam teeth
i got earrings n bad hearing
i got grey hairs n wrinkles
i got more energy than most of you could dream of or stand
im sk
thanks for reading my story