when I woke up the air in the caravan was sacredly still

Kathy had slipped outta bed without waking me

it was slightly raining outside

I lay there listening thru my damaged ears

only making out the faintest pitter patter through the ringing on of 5000 gigs

I looked at the objects she had collected from the shoreline

I smiled as I realised the significance of each thing

and why she had chosen this shell from a plethora of shells

why she had picked up that little bit of smooth green glass

she had arranged the objects like a garden on the window sill

god it was still and quiet this morning

in the early morning rain everything was hushed

the sea crashing on the shore muted in the thick rainy air

I sat there eating a bowl of cornflakes with rice milk n Manuka honey

I was in my cut off jeans and t.rex t-shirt

the rain stopped

when I went outside she was sitting in her deck chair reading an old newspaper

ha ha she said i’m reading an interview with this actor

and he’s saying that he’s so happy with his new wife and he thinks this is the one

and it’ll surely last forever..

and..? I said

well they broke up a month after he said all this stuff…she smiled sadly

and tilted her head on one side questioningly before a soft sigh appeared and was gone

she shrugged her shoulders and sorta squinted at me

well..?

we both shook our heads

she was dressed in my white shirt that was old and very big on her

as some crickets started up somewhere in the bush

and a crow called cawing up in the air

next to the beach was a system of little rivulets that we would wander

a helicopter flew overhead momentarily shattering our idyll

the sky was warm and humid and overcast

dreamy dreamy days passing in a watercolour hazy place

the residue of memory other times other places

the sweet snow that falls upon us as you sleep

the startled egrets that suddenly lift

the shadow of remorse that dogs all people not just me n you

we sat on the banks of a stream

it was not possible to know where the sun was in that sky

the nimbus hung down like a cosmic blanket softening everything

the still water was dark occasionally disturbed by some fishes ripple

there were flowers blooming in colours out of a Childs paintbox

there were dragonflies and languid bees

I sat with my arm around her shoulders

her smell was warm and fragrant in the thousand hours of that morning

how you feeling..?

yeah she smiled and tilted her head

as we looked into each others eyes there was an ineffable subtext

her eyes asked my eyes questions

to which my eyes could not lie

she searched my mind for awhile

peering in as our gazes were locked in the thousand seconds of that minute

she rushed into my head and took down everything I had had arranged

a dopey fly landed on my arm and I flicked it away

her smile was a half smile but the eyes were still gazing

we sat on the bank and the soft rain began again

I don’t care she said

its nice isn’t it…I said

yeah its kinda erotic

ha ha

its kinda sensual then

whats the difference between sensual and sensational..?

its both…

ha…

the raindrops were so delicately crafted

they were tiny miniatures of raindrops

and they evaporated and left you kissed but strangely dry

the rain touched us Kathy but it left no trace

we felt no need too talk much it sounded much too loud

I was singing some song to myself

even in my mind I get the words wrong to my songs and everybody elses

it drives people mad but I coddle myself by saying its endearing

I want to dive into your ocean..

at that very moment I knew she completed it in her own mind

is it raining with you..?

we looked at each other

how did you do that..?

we walked away into a field of blackberries

the blackberries were delicious

but oh fuck I got pricked by their nasty thorns like a clumsy bear

the tiny rain fell on n on

the earth received it gratefully

the birds were singing in the close distance

if the world was indeed spinning there was no sense of it here

there was no ulterior motive behind anything

the creatures did their thing

the elements were beautiful exorbitant colours

the sky such a lovely mothering grey

the humans observed as humans were meant to observe

we observe each other

we observe ourselves

we observe our observations of the world

when we went back to the caravan she put  bandaids on my leg and fingers

oh my poor man you been in the wars she said from within her permanent dream

we drank a cup of tea and she read the newspaper again

I rolled a joint

the morning stretched out in my imagination

I didn’t ever want to go back to Sydney

it all seemed like another life

in the little caravan by the sea

all those machinations seemed improbable

she knew what I was thinking

and she nodded and smiled and went back to reading

it was only ten o’clock

it would never be yesterday