posted on December 19, 2005 at 11:56 pm

ladies and gentlemen
have you been reading the stats
have ya heard the calls of the blog-advertisers
as they hound me day and knight
temptin’ me with loookrahtive offahs, my tiny birdies
oh please sk, with you pie sliced thus
and your daily blah blahs now reaching a mean average rainfall…
puh lease
i must admit
when i started yon bloggy
i was, let us say, perhaps just a little
tempted by the prospect
of having a diary to sell
and any fool can see
even you
that seeing yonder goode blogge is free
that no fool on erf
not even you
would pay good munny
for a previously free
and downloadable item
anyway where was i
interesting visit from other members of guilty trippe
saying they had had just a quarter
and demanding my ye olde basse
which ole sk not so keene to part with it
oh sk
yer grammars all shot
you tried to go all populist and hippo
but yer grammar and yer spellin are suffring, olde human bean
how is this slangslingin hipster commensurate
with yer image
as the re-nay-sonce manne, you olde crim
how do we fuckin well reconcile this tanned olde beachcomber
droppin’ his gees all over the plaice
with the pale consumptive
of yore
who always dotted his peas
and minded his queues
oh sk
yer mixin fuckin metaphores
you olde linguistic freake
you playful preposition dropper
you melder of the queens inglish into sk speak
and i see in my comments section
that yall adoptin sk speak
so kay
my tiny fishes
so kay
oh come let uss redraw him
its perfectly natural to use sk speak
espesh among the “straights”
you know the upptite cats
the ones with jobs workin for the manne
keepin your humble hero wrapped up in red tape
and waterbills
blaming me for the weather
holdin me accountable for mah wilde ways
for makin mariju fuckin wahna illegal
when it should be the boooze which is illegal, BAYBEE
if it has to either of em
theyre fuckin happy to send ya to war
but will nae let ya smoke mother nature
in case
its bad for ya
well mr sk, we KNOW wars badde for ya
so kiss yer ass goodbye
we aint sure (SURE!!)
that the ole potski is or aint
we prohibiting it for yer own fuckin goode, boyo
but what about the receptors in mah brain
the one that will never switch on without ye olde THC
forget it sk
yer not allowed to smoke ye olde weedie
and paint yer songs
and choreograph yer poems
and sculpt yer abs
and penetrate the mysteries
of art
you carry on with
so there you go
i am the monster you have created
i am sk
i am a blogger
i am a bohemian loyalist
and i have the earrings and drugs to prove it
i am a member of the choich
who have given up much rock
so you cood all bee free
dont try and holde me down
you eville govamence
i will not succumb
you will know me by the tail of the duds
i am sk
i have no capitals
i am unborn
yet manifest
i am….
uh oh
i gotta doo my xmas shopping

14 Responses to “sk, a dyslexic mindreader”

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