posted on August 21, 2007 at 2:45 am

the leader of the oppos
in australia
caught at a strip club in 2003
“it was only the 2nd time in my life i was drunk!” he says
yeah sure
jus’ like all of ’em
and you never inhaled the dope
or actually “had” sex with the woman
or took the bribes either
or said we should go to the war in iraq
do people believe this shpiel?
cant they take it square on the double chin
and say
yeah i get drunk n go to strip clubs…
do we have to have these pathetic bullshit excuses?
now me
i never been drunk in a strip club
i only been in strip clubs 2 or 3 times in my life
and i never really been drunk ever
knocking back beers n watching some bint get undressed for money
it seems tedious
i mean if it was smoking dope
n the chicks were doing it cos they actually wanted to…
i mean thats more interesting i suppose
but the thought of doing it for money cancels out any enjoyment
that goes for justa bout anything i can think of
imagine that….
i never been to a brothel
they should be paying me…..!
same with music too….
if you do it for the money n money only
well…it shows…
dont you wanna know yer performers are there cos they love it
dont you wanna know the artist painted it for the hell of it
not for money?
youll soon pick up on which way it is
or the ratios of money versus love
we have to conclude that our nic
is doing it for the love
because she must be so rich she doesnt need anymore dough
the politicians want the money AND the power
except the ones who already got the money
like our mal
and power…
well baybee
its like heroin
you can never get enough
always leaving you desperate for more
but our kev the oppo leader
he must be pinching himself
an ordinary little fellow like him
becoming the p.m. of orstrayliah
and then
the drinkin’ in strippin’ rear their ugly heads
now the question you gotta ask , is
can a risque olde roue who likes booze n boobs
still be a good prime ministah?
are the 2 mutually exclusive?
i lose more respect for the geezer with his tepid denials
“i was too drunk to remember”
than if he said
“look i like a drink
i like a bit of naked crumpet
now lets get the fucking boys home from iraqi-nam”
but we already feel fooled before he even gets in
does mrs oppo leader agree?
i reckon
that the electorates opinion is this:
wine women n song is ok
as long as you get us outta the war
and did something about the global doo dah…
i ask the universe out loud
couldnt your humble scribe be prime minister
i am better looking than either candidate
im fitter
i can play a guitar n sing
i’d look better in an expensive suit by a mile
im much much more eloquent n charming
i speak a bit of swedish (i bet neither of them can)
i have no brothel/strip club past to hide
no drinking problem…or gambling
or wife bashing
no dark fascist/communist/terrorist past
ive never ripped of the tax payers (that much)
no drink driving
no violence outside nightclubs
no criminal connexions
except for that one time in new york
they got me
it was a mistake…
i was…..innocent
i never took drugs ever ever ever
well not after my rebirth into the church of man, love
well not many times
a few
i deeply regret it all now
it wasnt really me
it was me….
but somehow it wasnt
im squeaky clean now
i never did nothin’ ever
cant the tb be the pm?

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