light soft rain again

people come and go

i know absolutely nothing

the rain falls thats all

in squalls from the sea

a mist moves towards me from the horizon

it envelopes the sea which becomes opaque

onslaught after onslaught

the valley below disappears in a blur of green grey and white

things become still

the rain falls yes but all else seems to pay attention

sadnesses fall down on me constantly

i now know i will probably never be free of them

my umbrella all bent out of shape

letting anything through

the years with their claws and clauses

the months with their meters ticking

life flies away at terrifying rates

life somewhere else

life in between

life beyond life

life in a day

life in one act

life in one moment

whatever it is you can’t bottle it

its elusive but its running out

life or time who can tell the difference

they evaporate at different rates sometimes

i wish for a new strength a miraculous power

i plot in a silent quiet room above it all

i plot in the rainy day and its silence around

but my thoughts wander and amble

and i can’t remember just where i have been

a disconnection is beginning to gradually occur

always something coming round the corner

expect instant delays

i am fading away on a numb field

its alright

its perfectly natural

things become still

and sleep

like your most wonderful lingering friend

who entices you with oblivion

but then delivers you instead to struggle and toil

deep within sleep you fight on n on

arguing thrashing regretting wrestling lost

in the eternity of my mortal mind

at night i jump through some monsters hoops

trapped in some astral flim flam

half me half somebody else

i devise such plays for myself

in the morning i awake my lines still on my lips

memory and morning merge

and all is only a troubling shadow

that randomly occurs to you in tiny snippets

surely haunting you the rest of your life