posted on September 17, 2007 at 4:34 am

feeling lonesome and down
feeling like a cloud
trying to keep its shape
in a windtorn sky
feeling hemmed in n empty
feeling like hopelessness
colour fades from things
the light paints things bleached white
sea sick as i walk across the kitchen
the ordinary invades
with its symbols of threat
and with such a slight twist
things become sick and bitter
the various precariousnesses
who is underwriting my life
no one
where is sanctuary
the monstrously loud clock
the repulsive dead flowers in their vase
the omnipresent bright blue sky
the spiders hang motionless
nothing works properly
the short cuts out long
the tea breaks broken
butter in the sun yellow ooze
faintly feeling movement
as if earth is trembling
as if everything is shifting
the flaws caving in
the collapse of the system
ugliness just about everything
ratchets whirr, hammers striking
inhumane machines tearing into our earth
its madness
i tell you
the sun will explode into darkness
the moon will crash down
people will drown in fire
the scalding oceans shall erupt
and its dark secrets will come up
on the dry land
driven on towards the cities
devouring hope and glory
the shriek of the wind
the laughter in the thunder
the hand that aims the bolt
god is unleashed
his name is chaos
expect the same mercy
as you yourself have shown
but thats….none
youve known its always been out there
an insane agony
a hideous energy
dogging our steps
monkeying in our plans
wolfing down our days
a vile thing
the last bad thing before you get to the good
a blasphemous filthy angel
a statue of a monster
a fountain inhabited by a snake
little eggs laid inside your scalp
eyeless worms burrow
yes the water burns
the water cannot quench our thirst
the water congeals into colours and wax
the water drips in gelatinous vertigo
the water inside us turns to dust
signals distort and interrupt
i keep dropping out
i keep breaking apart
i keep my hands on the wheel
and it spins n it spins
like all of reality
wants to vomit forth my madness
cast it out of itself
i belonged here
i understood how it all worked
i was up n running
running up that hill
pushing the future up the slope
and then
it ran away
wished away
picking up momentum
sliding headlong

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