posted on May 10, 2006 at 8:48 pm

early morning to ya fiendss
ive been up an hour
chi gong
back killing me
i tried everything
evey yoga pose i know
hang from a bar says tim p.
hang out in a bar says david l
anti inflammatories
big doses of aspirin, codeine, ibroproofun
a pair of city molls
nks worked on it
the masseur at the pool worked on it
now today
i drop an a bomb on my twisted knotted back
an hour of acupuncture
if you aint had acupuncture fiendss
and ya gotta badde back
get out there
and get those needles into ya
i wassa in the sauna yessaday
discussing acu and other arcane healing arts
and this woman says
i couldnt get pregnant without acupuncture
i says (quick as a flash) (straight of the cuff)
there ya go…all you needed was a little prick
(canned laughter)
but seriously folks….
acupunture is goode for
back, neck, shoulder, or headaches
insomnia( a miracle cure)
and loads of other nasty painful things
ya see once i wassa getting off the gear
i hadnt slept for about 2 weeks at all
and i was, in its widest sense, tired and emotional
i was in la of all places
but lord vishnu must have been watching down on me that day
cos very early one morning
after trying warm baths, massages, sleeping pills
herbs, hypnotism, and simply tiring myself out
i was exasperated BEYOND BELIEF
now this is the very very nastiest thing about the gear
that the hysterical newspapers and hip smack priests
(now theres a temporary position)
dont tell ya about
when you get off a serious opiate addiction
you may not literally sleep for weeeks or even months
you are so unbelievably exhausted
your head falls back on the pillow
you close your eyes
you start to drift
then ……
this printer is out of ink
you aint got the chemicals ya need
to sleep
you CANT go to sleep
and ya see
after 2 or 3 weeks of zero sleep
i was hallucinating, hearing voices
crying at anything at all
everything broke my fucking heart fiendss
the veneer was stripped back
i had nothing between me and a resovoir of tears
id never cried when i should have
and they all wanted to be cried NOW!!!!
i see mickey and minnie mouse embrace
i bawl my eyes out
i was crying watching the commercials..
i just wanted sleep so badde

now actually once in a rehab
i prayed and the sweet lord had granted me
30 minutes of nectar-like rest
and a lucid dream in which the lord appeared
and we walked together in beautiful gardens,
and when i awoke i was refreshed and renewed
but that didnt happen this time
i couldnt pray as singlepointedly as i had the other
and i was left to my own devices…

but this time
i was back in l a
i had gotten over most of the really nasty stuff
you know like cramps sweats vomiting etc
i was battered
an endorphin-less
and seratonin-less wreck
any how
aftet another sleepless night in a hateful hotel
a nasty nylony plasticy fake type modern hotel
i stumbled into a “drugstore” or pharmacy or chemist shop
or even apotek
as the lovely swedes say
(related to our old apothecary)
im in this pill shop
looking at mountains of painkillers
not a fucking one with codeine in it
ya see fiendss
codeine is a mild narcotic
it comes from the poppy
its one of opiums many alkaloids
so if ya can get a bit of codeine in yer system
you can stave of the horrors a tiny bit better
codeine aint legal in the u.s, or sweden
without a quack givin’ ya a script
in australia they always put paracetamol or ibuprof
in there
so any jonesing junky trying to take a big codeine dose
is gonna get a nasty surprise
when his liver gives out from the other stuff in the pills
theres a bit of western logic for ya!
any how
im trying to read all the labels on the stuff in this chemists
i was quite a little pharmacological whizz by this stage
i could spot a pseudo opiate in the drug company lingo
a mile off
anything anything
if i could get 5 minutes sleep
disengage my screaming brain and nerves
the i tunes in my brain was stuck on a horror
eternal flame by the bingles
round and round
“give me your hand darlin, can you feel my heart beating
do you understand…”
oh no
sometimes i had to throw something even worse in there
like swallowing a spider to catch a fly
something really vile
like one of my own songs…
which i couldnt bear to touch
when i felt this way
im looking through the pills
when this older, kinda jewish lady
says ah whaddya lookin for, sir
i give her an impatient look
how could she understand MY pain
ah i dunno
she says
maybe i can help ya
i look at her
i say
i doubt it
she says you lookin for painkillers
i say yep
she says nothin here doin it for ya
i say nope
she says what are your symptoms
i say my backs killing me
i aint slept for 2 weeks
ya got anything for that?
she says nothing here
i say thats whatti thought
she says i think i can help ya
i say look im getting over a narcotic habit
she says yeah, i know
she says im an acupuncturist
i’ll put ya to sleep
i guarantee it
now i was very very sceptical
cos i had just come from dublin
where my dear friend frankie x
had hooked my up with the chinese woman
atta clinic
and she was acupuncture personified
chinese studied in peking
but she couldnae budge my insomnia
so i couldnt see how this small gladys kravitz
was gonna be any help
but she gave me her card
she said come and see me
and when i looked in her eye
her spirit jumped the gulf and said
i aint fooling!!!
so i go round her very hollywood little bungalow
im starting to think this wasnt a good idea
lay down on the table
she starts sticking in the pins
one in the top of my head
a network of em all over my back
she connects the one in my head
to a little generator
and gives me a few volts
to the skull
next thing i know
ive left my wartorn body
ah im out in deep space
or deep in inner space
or somewhere black and soothing
i have expanded to take up everywhere
but i also have ceased to exist
oh fiendss this is a beautiful place
and you can get there by meditation and yoga
and opiates get you there too
but what a terrible price to pay
where oblivion is beckoning
where leviathan is reckoning
you see fiendss
you gotta earn yer ticket to this place
or youll have to pay some nasty fines
anyway anyway
to cut this long story short
the lady woke me up
and said steven
honey youve been sleeping for an hour and a half
im sorry to wake ya up, my next patient is here
i paid the lady
i tipped her good
i gave her a jubilant hug
and thanked her profusely
i had underestimated someone AGAIN
because of their looks
id had some precious sleep
and shed broken my slumber-drought
so get a good acupuncturist fiendss
if ya ache or cant sleep
i guess thats the moral of todays rant

tomorrows grants funeral

26 Responses to “stupid magician, with his cloak and his wand…..”

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