the futures fireproof
not at all like what i expected
i used to be a singer
a longtimeago
beforethewar
the war to end all wars
which war was it?
i was a singer then
in the mists of time
i sang some songs
then i moved into my new occupation
i review aphrodisiacs
for drugworld.org
i am the foremost aphrodisiac reviewer on earth
cmon you say
an aphrodisiac reviewer?
laugh if you want
it was around 2008
that they invented love-bites
a totally legal a-disiac
i used to write this column everyday
one day i dropped some love-bites
i was literally blown away
what were these new drugs?
who was making em?
the ingredients were fruit n flowers…
i posted an online review
its kinda famous now i guess
you see any idiot can cop a high
but not any idiot can describe it in creative language
i guess i was born to do it
anyway a few days after my first love-bites post
they contact me
would i review their products for them?
ok….
would i test drive aphrodisiacs and report in?
sure, i think i could handle that
the success of love-bites was amazing
my review got reprinted all round the world
suddenly the a-disiac market exploded
and i was its leading voice
next i did a piece on 4bidden froot
4bidden froot is a new fruit only aphrodisiac
fine tuned by new manufacturing procedures
a harmless but powerful aphrodisiac
its motto
makes lovin’ lovely
4bidden froot
what a revelation
people switched their tvs off when that stuff came on the market
people were buying that new sexlife jive
people started getting in the groove again
all those oafs who wouldnt know their libido
from a hole in the ground
all those frumpy frigid femmes hitherto unwanted
4bidden froot turned em all on
oh the pleasures to be found in flesh
and there was i
at the leading edge of the pleasuremarket
being flown around the world
testing and reviewing a-disiacs
now being finely tuned homeopathically
a tiny dose of lavender oil
a micron of lime
a tiny tiny amount of ginger
oh
you could lose yourself in love
people were foundering in their unanswerable lust
to sink into desire deeper deeper deeper
love comes unbidden all the time
my friend and i drift round this house
she lazily reaches for me
i stand back and watch
i stand back n watch my heaving back
i float up to the ceiling
and i watch the birds in the sky
my veins all open and are flushed with blood
my pupils are huge
i take everything in
and i see love as an art to be mastered
and i see it has its schools of thought
and its history and techniques
so i write n i love
i love n i write
now the lid is off the whole a-disiac thing
what could the govt do?
outlaw roses?
ban orange peel?
make it illegal to possess love?
now love is within reach of everyman
and people are loving it
love
love
love
buy some
try some
4bidden froot, baybee
ha ha