some strange events afoot
i close in on my psychic attacker…and….
oh no…surely it wasnt you……not you
oh no!
of course
why didnt i see it all along
i did
but never wanted to believe it
you!
you!
you whom i trusted
you utter bastard!
and now……
well youre gone
you are gone from my life now
as troublesome as that will be in many ways
you are unmasked
you didnt care if i died
you didnt care if i suffered
youve just been hating me for so long
for so so so so so so so long
but i tried to ignore it
i tried to get over your insults n sleights
no insults back
(you jealous worm!)
but now
adieu
we dont wanna see ya round this way again
i am gonna forgive ya
i am gonna forget ya
but i dont wanna clap my eyes on ya again!
whatever i did or did not do
i cannot believe you were the viper at my bosom
and thats it
we’re finished!

my life seems like a film
i anticipate events
i write songs that i may not understand for years
things come down the line got my name on them
believe me my fiendss
life is very very very cosmic
everything that is was meant to be
everything that isnt wasnt
or exists as mere potential
only from the perspective of eternity will we understand
we have all lived before
we have all died before
we will all live and die so many more times
we will change our suits
we will change our masks
we must undergo everything so we understand everything
we must be betrayed so we understand betrayal
we must kill and be killed so we understand killing
we must love and be loved so we understand loving
we must hate and be hated so we understand hatred
all the time we are being refined
all the time we learn whether we know it or not
all the time we get closer and closer to the next level
whatever that is
we are such imperfect creatures
we have mastered this planet and fucked it up
i wrote almost 25 years ago in earthed
how the earths mad cannabalistic offspring were devouring her
now look around you
this is a result of our misunderstanding
this is a necessary design error in humans
we were born to go wrong
this is an obstacle race
we are the racers and the obstacles all at once
we are beast
we are eternal spirit
everyone is acting
everyone is confused
everyone is unsure
thus has it ever been
and if this earth can endure much longer
no matter what gadgets n stuff they come up with
the basic human problems will never cease to plague us
there will always be envy avarice greed lust n all the rest
people will always steal and kill and cheat and lie
we are in the unenviable position of knowing we will all die
no other creature on this earth is burdened by this knowledge
yet we must know it and go on as if we dont know it
heroes come and go on our stage
villains too
and the vast hoi polloi who are neither
but just wanna get on with their lives
no one wants war but there it is
no one wants famine and pestilence yet they remain
no one wants cruelty for themselves
yet we all deal it out over n over to others
everyone thinks its ok for them to pee in the pool
but would be horrified to think someone else was doing it
our philosophers come n go
but still no one knows how to live their life
great men are undone by scandals
small men assume power and get us all killed
the kings n queens
the bishops
the presidents n leaders
all baffled
all mistaken
all roads lead to that dead end
what can you do?
i dunno
i’m just playing in my band as the titanic goes down
some nice music for y’all till we go under
(only to re emerge)
sometimes i’m kinda fond of olde steve kilbey
he surprises me with his strengths
but he disappoints me with his weaknesses
he gets it so right
and
he gets it so wrong
oh i dont want to let go of him
because hes learned so much
and can do so many things now
i dont wanna start again
but death will strip us all of everything
and our former talents will be dormant
as predilections and proclivities and predispositions
ie i always knew i’d be a musician
ah
well
what am i getting at?
i dunno for sure
words to describe concepts that exist outside of words
ok
be careful
life is a slender thread
too much this
not enuff that
n
its over
do what you can
just do your best
what more can be expected

ps 3 days off all substances
and LOVING IT!!!