posted on January 22, 2009 at 7:56 pm

jesus christ…i’m an englishman
its just gone 7 in the morning
and its over 85 degrees
AND I LIVE IN THE COOL PART OF TOWN
poor old timbo its gotta be 10 degrees more
out his way in the western subs
a giant praying mantis hangs off my fly screen
my room is such an unbelievable mess
i cant find anything
last night me n scarlet kilbey
who is my familiar
who is my double
who is my opposite
we went down n had a swim at 8 pm
we talked all the way there
lil sk :would the bock-ock man be there ?
big sk : no…i doubt it
lil ; would ariel the mermaid….or king triton…?
big : maybe…..
lil : or prepps eregut
(this is her way of saying prince eric who is ariels hubby)
big : no no prepps eregut
lil (becoming angry) : not prepps eregut PREPPS EREGUT!!!
big : ok ok ok
we get down to bondi bloody beach
its all blokes with metal detectors
and couples who should getta room
but are making out
making up
or making it
on the beach in the fading light
another dad with a kid scarlets age
scarlet n the kid hook up immediately
every time i try to talk to the dad tho
the little brat comes over n screams
why?
jesus his shrill little screams hurt my old damaged ears
the dad drops his conversation like hotcakes
when the little bugger interrupts us
the kid demands that they go home
fuck mate ..i say
the first half yer life
yer parents boss ya round
the second half its yer fuckin’ kids…
he smiles sadly n wanders off
with the kid on his shoulders
still ordering him round
scarlet kilbey is throwing herself into the surf with glee
the water is icy cold and i feel a million times better
the moment the pacific ocean lays its cool cool hands on my head
the waves are breaking onshore
and i scratch up me chest on the sand
my swimmers fill up with sand too
and despite a long shower
some of the sand rides home with me
in all kinds of intimate places
later to irritate me all night long….oh bollocks!
me n scarlet stop in at an israeli place
n buy some hot chips
it burns my hand to carry em
and i drop most of em on the footpath
just outside our blooming place
i come in with a half empty ripped bag
but aurora n scarlet n i still tuck in to some that are left
yadda yadda yadda
the heat goes on into the night
i wake up at 2 30 unable to sleep
i sit on the balcony in the darkness
there is not one breath of air
the night is totally still
it still must be about 90 something
bloody colonies!
phew…whatta scorcher
izzit hot enuff for ya then ?

64 Responses to “sydneys weather forecast : infernal fucking heat”

    Error thrown

    Call to undefined function ereg()