posted on February 8, 2009 at 8:07 pm

hanging out with david neil yesterday
yeah yeah
hes a ghost
well i aint holding it against him
david tells me what to sing
he tells me what to write
oh we write some beautiful songs together
david whispers the words in my ears
as fast as i can write them down
some of them are different to what i had thought
sometimes i stand there singing
i open up my throat and davids voice comes out
sometimes its just my same olde voice
sometimes david tells me how sing
sometimes i imagine i’m david
and i picture his lonesome death
when he was shot
and he o.d.ed
and the plane crash at the same time
mr ricky is there
playing up several storms
i guess david had some words with him too
cos hes got all that wah wah going
and ricky already knew a lot of davids tricks
davids girlfriend lois comes in looking for him
they go off for a coffee
and when david comes back he looks real taken aback
so he bids me write a “so long, i’m a gonna ramble off” song
i can hear david ad-libbing in the corners of my headphones
a dead romance comes to life
flowers briefly
and withers under the weight of the terrible past
lois is looking for david
but hes gone
he vanished back into my fucking head
and he pulled in this whole universe with him
the kids are outside crying
davids kids
my kids
lois kid
new kids on the blonde
unborn kids reach to david
but he aint ever gonna be anyones father
david says steve write me something sweet
so that damned woman will cry for me
and write me something bitter
to put in my bloodstream
to replace all that heroin
and all that love
and all that white alberta snow
and david opens a beer
and he slumps down on the floor
jesus fuck
fuck jesus
he sucks in his breath
and he moans
ricky takes me aside
davids losing it man he says
i get angry with all of em
nick the engine ear ducks outside for a smoke
ricky fiddles with an a.r.p. sequencer
david tries to roll a smoke
his pale spirit hands all a tremble
we both break out in a sweat
fuck it david
i’m going through your withdrawals now….i say
david grins grimly
you channeled me, brother!
i feel his puny little body inside my skin
all the coffee all the cigarettes
i feel his aching love for lois
and i feel all the weight of his heartbreak
and i feel all them punches someone landed on his face
and i feel the bad hits and i feel the sloshes of jungle juice
and i feel the blow jobs and i feel the rattle of an aeroplane
and i feel sick
and i feel nervous
and i feel different
and i feel davids hands strumming my guitar
his fingers pick the strings
his fingers undo the locks
his fingers scratch my head
his fingers point the way
his high reedy voice
all smoked out
his hot tears
now all shed
david steps up to the plate
and he is the master of all he surveys
a couple of amps
their standby lights glowing red in the semi-darkness
a piano still sitting in the corner expectantly
a load of guitar pedals all willy nilly
some baffles
some lyrics i wrote out for us before
david tells nick to switch on the music
which song do ya want? nick asks the ghost
lets sing cockpit now david

i gently suggest
david says ok
nick fiddles about for a few seconds
getting the song up n ready to go
a piano starts up tentatively
some acoustic strums
some slide guitar moaning away
the drums stutter into life
the song lurches away
a hesitant and unsure song
david leans in to the microphone
and his ghostly voice comes out
filling the room with its weak keening sound
baby i’m all confused
see me landing
i’m landing on sea
please come up to the cockpit
and rescue me
and tonight we gonna soar
and tonight we gonna get some more
and tonight we gonna really live
and tonight we gonna try to forgive…
david breaks down
and the music stops
i find i’m actually crying myself
and i say
oh jesus…..

david neil “the wilderness years”
restored remixed remastered
coming soon on karmic hit records!

23 Responses to “the bitter comes out better”

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