posted on December 28, 2007 at 6:03 am

saw beowulf last night
at imax in sydney
biggest screen in the world
like the size of three story building
it was in the new 3D
forget that olde malarkey with the blue n red cellophane
this is the real deal
i thought this fuckin’ film was amazing!
maybe the best cinema experience i ever had even
anthony hopkins as the olde king
malkovich as a slimey advisor
the dude playing beowulf was incredible
course they are in it and they arent
its some kinda hybrid computery doo dah
excellent stuff
only slightly ruined by angie jollys lack of nipples and genitalia
ok i can see the genitalia would not make it
then give her some pants
cos that smooth barbie nothing is ridiculous
the nipples
a great big pair of bazookas yet no nipples
to me
thats more obscene than the nipples ever could be
how can a nipple be obscene?
can us grown ups be allowed see the anatomically correct version?
theres also a bit of malarkey with beowulfs whatnot
he strips naked to fight the first monsta
who is a falling apart disgusting ‘orrible thing
(like you know who…that olde singer)
and we can tell by the queens expression
that our hero fights with a broad n long sword
but from that point in
beowulfs anglosaxon weapon
is hidden behind all kinds of convenient things
now i know that people say i look like this guy
and i just wanted to see if we were really similar
in all respects
but now i guess i’ll never know
the film is marvellous in its 3Dness
when he dives in the water
the viewer is suddenly in water too
arrows and coins and blood and bodyparts whizz past
talk about really being there…
i loved this film
i wanna see it again
i give it five stars and two moons
a good one
see it!

23 Responses to “the children are all monsters….”

    Error thrown

    Call to undefined function ereg()