experiencing difficulty

not asking for advice

i’m talking to the virtual silence

not asking for sympathy or suggestions

i merely murmur into the net

alcoholic elemental won’t let up

that old black spirit always demanding more and more

throws everything into chaos

first i battle my own addiction for 10 years

now i battle my addiction to someone else’s addiction

boy heroin looks like an easy foe next to alcohol

i mean heroin packs some fucking miserable wallop

but booze….. man its everybloodywhere…..

in yer cafe

in yer coffee bar

in yer face in boutique pubs and ads and billboards

alcohol blah blah blah

bottles of wine painted beautifully huge up n down the road

drive-thrus byos liquorshops off-licence bottle-Os go for it you idiots

fuckin’ booze is everywhere a blight on society IF EVER THERE WAS ONE!

its a joke they wouldn’t let you have it if it wasn’t so bad for ya!

thats right the people who protect ya have given us booze n cigs n dead meat

but i digress

a text book co dependent

going up n down with some fiend hell bent on their own destruction

stupid slurred pointless “conversations”

missed appointments

missed opportunity

missed payments

missed life

other idiot drinkers join in

oh they blame n blame n blame other people these drinkers

the world owes them a living

and i’m the reason everyone drinks…

how thoroughly stupid it all is

why don’t i do something?

what can i do?

its all my fault why don’t i do something?

why don’t i throw more money at the drinking?

why don’t i throw more time at the drinker?

after all i twist their arms n make em all drink don’t i

my kids are all sick

we all have some cold or flu making us demoralised and sad

they start picking on the little one

we go out for a walk in the park

the nasty stuff between the sisters keeps going

the stupid phone calls n texts still going off in my pocket

i fall further n farther behind in all the things i’m trying to do

oh well….

its hard to get around to getting any work done….

thats what i guess i mean

alright

will see you all soon