posted on March 1, 2006 at 11:37 pm

this is not fiction
this is prediction
in 2034
when i am 80
when i should have been eighty
when i will be 80
with its billion people
with its natural disasters
with its islam au go go ruling party
has done the only logical thing
invaded australia
coming down from darwin
the australians have appealed to our goode buddies
you know
the goode guys
the cavalry
the usa
england was no longer interested
imploding thru MEMORY abuse
and hilarious inflation
the now monarchy-less little dump
was in no position to assist her former colony
especially after the latest nut cutlet scandals
so our president worm
(aust now republic)
went to your prez
jehovah bush
the latest in a solid dynastic line
and says
jay baybee
we aussies have helped you
in all yer wars since time immemorial
fer fuck sake wontcha bail us out now
cmon jay, this is seriously serious
j bush jnr says
lemme make some calls…
go wait out there you worm

a few hours later bushy calls
the grovelling prez of austy
back in the ovarian room
well itsa like this worm….
and in a nutshell the deal was this
we will see those sonafabitches off for ya
but ya gotta become the 52 state
(theydd already got n.z.)
and do it all the american way
money, drivin on the other side o the road
cops uniforms
voting food
the whole fucking she bang worm…
are ya readin’ me loud n clear?
worm realises better hollywood
than gado gado every nite for din dins
the yanks ride to austs aid
they see off the indos easily
they play smaltzy girlie ballads from
the early 2000s
projected with massive loud speakers into their camps
they drop big macs on them
after one week indos so dispirited and sick
they piss off home again
the real task of rebuilding aust
in the us’s image
from the ground up
here in this chaos and turmoil
as australians learn to drive their right hand cars
on the left
when they have to get used to all yankee money being green!!
(our money coloured to take out guess work)
when they get used to state of the union addresses
and zip codes
hot flashes
the larry gibbons show
grid iron
and all the rest
in these broiling and roiling times
i am still fighting the goode fight
in the frontline
hooked on MEMORY and marijuana (still!)
i have outlived pm turnbull
i have outlived pm garret
i have even outlived pm minogue our first female
when the job of president becomes available
thousands of bohemians demand that
it should go to me
for the first time
open conflict has broken out
against each other
against the east and the west
as boheemians and “straights” prepared
for the final showdown
now imagine yerself running down an alleyway
in what used to be surry hills
youre jonesing for jazz
you need some MEMORY
xcept yer own
we meet up outside billy franklins
hes not answering the door
the feds are hovering overhead in gyrokoptas
the M fiendss in the street descending on us
like vultures
the storm water in the gutters corrodes our metal shoes
whos gonna rescue ya?
who ya gonna call?
thats right

22 Responses to “the future baybee…how passe..!?”

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