ah
arrival in hungary
had indian for lunch
mm lovely
then i had tomato soup n salad for dinner
at the absinthe bar
so guess what i drank there you foolish fiendss
but not the really good absinthe
oh no theres some better stuff
the one that smacks you round the kisser
and chucks ya into the universe next door but one
and damn it i just had my first hit of zwack
straight from the minny bar
plus kind mr z gave me a lil herb for my brain salad
kind mr kn also on hand
so far so good
lovely hotel
lovely hotel
nothing ultra fancy
but very elegant classy functional and inviting
the ratbags who put british hotel rooms together
should be made to study this
may i say without offending boydy n the rest of the poms
and remember i can say this cos im english
english hotel rooms are shoddy n bloody ‘orrible
so too fucking scottish irish n probably welsh
even the good ones
why cant they get together something decent
in the way of a hotel
?
now im eating a
hungarian chocky bar
something i dunno
its real good tho
the alcohol has put me in a slightly stupid n belligerent mood
but there again what else would ya expect?
i look up n catch sight of my own face
with my short hair n reading glasses
i could be somebodies professor in a horror movie
did you know when i was 13
i was riding alongside a rail
looking at some kids playing
when i collided head on
with one of the keane boys, the milkmans kid
and i came off my bike like superman
flying thru the air
in my mind in slo mo
then i headdive straight into young keanes pedal
one of those sharp metal ones
i thank lord vishnu for preserving me
coz one tiny bit lower n it woulda been my right eye
but i just had six stiches right on my eyebrow
ie it did not mess up my pretty face
however the eyebrow n under the eyebrow never
completely went back down after it swelled up like a balloony
and so you see my eyes have very different shapes
when im looking up which i am now into the mirror
the puppyfat n drug bloat have left my cheeks hollow
and i am again quite angular
my hair is short n straight
its fine n thin
my beard is creeping white up my face
the lips that i admire on evie k
draw no response placed in my own face
i surprise myself when i look in the mirror
different lights reveal me to look very young
or very old
freckled or hardly none
i like the glasses but theyre just for reading
my nose is a nice shape but its always red
which kinda cancels the other out somewhat
i have bags under my eyes n wrinkles
but by some weird chance
i enjoy looking like this
much more than all the other olde mes
i just feel at home
and my face truly reflects who i am now
after the reshaping processes of life drugs time
sorrow anger booze etc etc
but yoga n qi gong n swimming
have also rewritten a new sincerity honesty n austerity
on my dial
im happy to be me now
yes that is my face
its ok
hey theres a lotta much much much handsomer geezers
and much much much younger too
but i dont begrudge em their looks at all
its all skin deep baybee
or is it
true beauty shines thru any veil
and an ugly soul is never masked by a pretty face
to tell the truth i get more excited by a handsome man
than a pretty woman
theyre more rare n can be more exquisite
but usually marred by vanity too
like watching beautiful children slowly realising the power
they have over people…
its sad
self consciousness is one of my most loathesome traits
but its also part of my make up
you cant subtract one from the other
without some extraordinary means
such as
sex
drugs
magic
yoga
qi gong
meditation
exercise
you know
all the usual suspects
i gotta get outta my head baybee
when i am in the darkness why do you intrude?
the tb gotta leave sk behind
it happens on stage
ttb totally takes over
i will will this possession
i will allow the being to have me
and sk will be tied to a silver chair for 2 hours
while the being lets the rock get unleashed
look out europa
the time being is back
and hes ready to rock
so if yer too olde or too young
too smart or too dumb
you better getta outta my weigh
im gonna move it remove it groove it and soothe it
im gonna sing whisper scream and ululate
and all the rest of that bullshit
tomorrow
hungarian rehearsal!
oh
and i knew i’d forgotten sumthing
my camera
boo hoo!
i’ll try n sort out somethingo
sk