posted on December 14, 2006 at 7:48 pm

please please forgive me
there was nae internet in hotel
couldnot blogge yessasday
when i get home too much other things
melbjorne was a good gig
we played for hours n hours n hours
i drunk too many red bulls n jaegers….time warped
i was coming n going at the same time
it seemed i was on that stage my whole life
eternally strapped to guitar
singin’ some song i no longer understand
the black room
the noise of the instruments lingering on
the faces in the audience slipping and changing
eternal song n dance men
knocking out our jive since year dot
we’re early
we do our soundcheque
we’re nice n polite to everyone too
we eat ourr din -dins
they had chargrilled tofu on a med stack
(mediterranean now synonomous with eggyplant n capsicum!)
plus a loada martys frenchfries (or chips as we used to say)
then back to hotel
wow poor olde melbjorne…..
i love this city my little pigs
and ive never seen anything like it…
except here before in the eighties
the entire city is in smoke…
the smoke from the hinterland fires
has drifted into melby
and permeates its streets like a fog
the whole city is full of smoke..
visibility about quarter of a mile
then everything fades to white
everybody still going about their bizzy-ness tho
lygon street in carlton where we stayed
is jumping n bumping
a thousand street cafes with an italian bent
people:wine, women n song…
pasta waiters long blacks n garlick bread
the next morning i buy yet another ganesha for nk
and a wheat grass juice at boost juice
the flight back to syddey is bumpy
i download songs from mwps hard-drive
trespass n selling england by genesis
the kooks cos theyre minnas favourite band
when i arrive home
the whole fambley waiting for me out the front
the twillies help with guitars
the doodles run around
scarlet going oooh oooh ….wow!
then i take some of em for a swim
yeah thats better
the sea washes away all the travelling…
then a gay olde man checks out my wedding tackle in the change room
came close to getting to check out my fist as well
just standing there gawking at me
as i take a shower
trying to keep up a conversation bout the weather
while hes looking at my credentials…
hey mister…be gay in yer own fucking cubicle…ok?
later i walk past him n his little boyfriend
and he says something bout me n they both titter
maybe next time i just should use the ladies…….
which reminds me
a few weeks back i get outta the pool
i walk in mens change rooms
im pulling off ye olde bathers
thinking vaguely to myself
wow that guy over there has strange looking back n bum
when blow me down
the bloke turns round n its a lady….
no lady dont scream….
yer in the wrong room…..ha ha ha
she scoops up a towel
n covers her confusion
n runs away
wonder if i could get away with it so easily…
i also got a lovely massage from a reiki guy
n boy did he have the power flowing thru his hands
chi n prana dripping from his yonder fingertips
the energy was flowing
in n out of my chakras we go
today i gota buy a divan for twillies
who are still jet lagged
then this afternoon more rehearsals for the play
i met an actor at a party who says hes in a musical
based on babes in wood
its on at the oprah house
and it includes under the milky weigh
hes got me some free tickets
he says the audience go crazy when that song comes on
last night baby bumper kicked me to sleep
i been sung to sleep
n rocked to sleep
but this is first time i been booted to sleep
hard little heels in my back
bang bang bang
oh thats nice…
but im too tired to care
i fall asleep anyway
wake up today
she pretends like nothing happened
shes got the twillies cooing n laughing at all her tricks now
oh daddy shes so cute!
yeah thats all she needs is more flattery
cos miss scarlet is rapidly becoming a law unto herself
baby bully-head
thats how i see it
at any rate
thanks to my subscribers
thanks to people who sent me stuff
i have received everything n im very great-full
finding it hard to keep up
neglecting everything n everyone
still aint done my xmas shopping (bah humbug!)
but we have a xmas tree with 8 different lighting permutations
1 blinding
2 headache inducing
3migraine inducing
4nauseating;ly fast
5 more nauseatingly fast
6 even more naus…oh excuse me…
7 hold on to yer baubles folks
8 off
what this has to do with jeesus christos
i am yet to ascertain
wasnt it hard getting candy cane in judea circa 1 bc
could the reindeers have actually been flying camels?
did herod try to kiss salome under the mistletoe?
im confused…what the fuck is christmas anyway…
it seems like a hodge podge of ideas
all superimposed on top of each other willy nilly
the only chrissy card ive received all year
is from the doodles jewish dentist
seasons greetings it said
nicely ambiguous but not offensive
it coulda said
merry xmas
but the real messiah is yet to appear
and thanks for the check-ups n polishing!
theyre are lots n lots of jewish people here in bondi
n eastern suburbs
so hanukah is pretty big here
as well
everyone likes a holiday thats for sure
and ironically
its self employed idiots like me who never get em
no 4 weeks on full pay for the olde kilbeing, steve timeby
just an endless stream of this n thats
until i go to the great northcote social club in the sky
where i will rock forever with hutch n karen carpenter
(i wonder if hes done for her what he did for kylie)
and speaking of her
didja see her french git olivier
after tellin’ the world how he was gonna stand by her
thru “thick n thin”
(aint that a echo n the rabbitboys line?)
well hes run off with a foxier younger chick…!?
whod have thought it kylie?
youd imagine them french playboys ‘d have more gumption
wouldnt ya?
anyway mr better watch out if ya ever come downunder
cos we aussies dont like it when our songbirds are jilted
and we’re not that big on the french either
after they cinque our boat the rainbow warrior…
and cos of their unpronouncable language
that makes us feel like philistines
and cos they aint produced any decent music except
serge gainsborough n air
n because
they still eat horse meat in paris!
(look children…heres the mane course)
thats enuff for one day
i still love you all
thanks to everyone concerned
love yer work

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