took los doodles fabuleux to school yessaday
theres a big big circle of concerned parents
standing round discussing something
someone had heard a tsunamis about to hit bondi
someone heard it on the radio
probably bullshit i mutter
and walk over to the pool
but i start thinking
and i look at the peaceful ocean
and i imagine the mother of all waves a’rollin’ in
smashing down bondi n the school n the shops n the houses
but everything seems so calm
when i get to the pool
the guy on the front desk is saying to the lady ahead of me
well its due to hit at 11….we’ll let ya know…
i say jesus you mean there IS a tsunami coming…?!
i got kids at the school
go n have a look at the computer in the office he says
i go in and look
“8.2 earthquake in solomon islands
tsunami expected on east coast of australia at 11.00 am
evacuate beaches low lying areas etc etc”
i rush back to school
feeling kinda weird n panicky
pick up the doodles
aurora gets all hysterical
i try to explain
auroras wailing n carrying on
i don’ wanna leave school dad
i hurry doodles home
we jump in car after getting necessary things
eg the doodles grabbed their barbie computers
i got that stevie wonder song
about reaching higher ground in my head
we drive into the city
which is stupid cos the harbour wouldve flooded as well
and then we hear on radio
the tsunami has turned into a “ripple”
which would have been a great moment for em to play ripple
but they dont….
of course….
anyway nk n doodles go back to bondi junction
and buy the doodles some clothes
me n baby bumper return to a very unflooded bondi
where we have a nice time hanging out
and i teach the bumper to say “toast”
gee its nice when its just bumper n me
shes very affectionate
and very very charismatic
complete strangers stop n gasp as she goes by
i know all parents are proud as punch
but bumper really has the x-factor in spades
minna is very pretty n elli too
and their identical-ness was quite a show stopper
the doodles too are quite a package
that usually scored quite a kerfuffle in public
but the bumper is something else
“shes got a huge head bulging with brains
shes a fuckin’ genius !”
screams our local loopy restauranteur
and gosh i tend to agree
her big blue eyes are searching yer soul as she looks at you
one bat of her eyes has nannas uncles aunties n cousins swooning
she sings in tune
and the other night
as i was sitting there watching “extras”
nk n mes fave new show
bumper came running in with my new (synthetic) ugg boots
shoes shoes bumpers saying
and she helps me put em on
even becoming agitated when i dont do it immediately
shes still doing her lopsided little dance
her big head one one side and her body swaying the other
like a shamen or witchdoctor
every movement deliberate
not a wild abandon the way the doodles dance(d)
or running around like the twillies
it makes me feel strange to have this amazing childe
(this aint hyperbole fiendss…the bumper is special)
anyway
i finish the day on a good note
when marcus from austria rings up
and we do an interview for our vienna gig
i gotta say it again
vienna
this means nothing to me oh vienna…
i never been there before and im pretty excited
marcus and i have a really good chat
he knows a lot about us n his english is perfect
marcus if ya reading it was a pleasure
and thought provoking
back here in australia
blah blah radio ask me to go on n promote el mom sig
sure i say
can you play a song too?
sure sure i say
which song?
oh i dunno i say..i’ll think of something…
no no they say we need to know which song…?
well i’ll do something off el mom sig i say
seeing thats what the interviews about
well we want under the milky fucking way! they say
yeah ?i say
thats not even on the record
but thats what we want! they say
yeah?
i say
yeah! they say
well radio blah blah blah
kiss my well toned ass goodbye
and stick yer morning show up yer failing ratings
im bound for vienna n prague n berlin n amsterdam
ha ha ha

see ya 2 morrow girls n boys
xxxxx
sk