the written word
slips from your fingertips
like sand
through the hands
of old father time
you see
before you
the mirror
the screen
the could-be and the has-been
comedy
tragedy
cocaine or heroin
every opposite merges in itself
the old and the young
male into female
negative and positive back n forth
children sometimes laugh n cry
at the same/time
so close are all opposites
lofty mountains turn out to be deep ravines
tears of joy
tears of contrite sorrow
my western world has warped
the coincidences have become jokes
like a pawn moving on jagged diagonals
risking everything on a handful of nothing
cant trust love n hate…
at the extremities they feel almost the same
like cold water feels scalding
like being burnt by ice
like day jar voo
like premonitions
and the telekinesis of the losing streak
oh i give it to you straight
only there is no straight
only circles
only the revelation of emptiness at the heart of everything
another paradox….some see this as the null n void
to others the blissful extinguishment
upson downes
round n round
truth out of lies
fact beyond fiction
this is my area
i mine this vein
it is mine to mine even if in vain sometimes
i absolve my self from responsibility
to anything other than my work in any medium
the mediums i have mastered
the mediums i have not mastered
i put my name to it
i put my face to it
its a song
its a picture
its a little video
its funny
its sad
its mediocre
its inspiring
its silly
its hilarious
its prophetic
its pathetic
its bathetic
its ripe
its tripe
its old
its bold
its this its that
its a load of old hat
ive heard it all
still you wont deflect me
praises or blames
a hundred biographies
or a three second pan in the gutter press
all the bitter old cronies
all the gushing young nongs
all the phony symphony hogwash n shite n bollocks
i am kilbey
i am everything you all say i am and more
in spades
and in hearts
i persevere and i prevail
dont you see
i am a charlatan who also happens to be the real thing
thats why you gotta love me
thats why i need you to love me
but understand this
my one virtue is this:
i dont easily succumb to the zeitgeist
and my mind stretches out to all perspectives
and you can call that a grandiose sickness
or you can call that astral quickness
its just dusk in the window to me
get your head around it
come to your senses
this is not a poem
this is not a film
this is not some broadway impro try-out
this is not a slow dissolve or a backwards fade
i swallow the same life as you
but i sing it back as a song
my songs career thru this world
your world is your world
but your world is one of many to me
and from those worlds
those almost worlds
i bring you back things
crude unfinished chunks
and finely wrought beauty
and traditional forms
and clumsy artifacts
and halfdone dreams
and polished knives
and all the rest
i have always existed
i have always existed outside
yet i have always existed inside
i can say anything and i probably wont
we are all looking through different lenses
i love you i hate you i care i dont care
i’m good….i made some people happy
i’m bad….i made some people unhappy
i’m confused
yes, thats it
i’m confused
tell me
who ever told me the truth
i cant believe everyone and
everyone listen
theres so many everyone in my life nowdays
look in everyone
the genius n the fool
in most mixed up
in me separated
in two congealed blobs
each wresting control
but both harnessed by my work
i indiscriminately let that fool run amuck
because , well, to tell you frankly
it amuseth me
and well
i tried all that mystery malarkey and
to use a boring word it was boring
after a while
and as i approach uncertainly certain death
as do we all of course
and knowing that is our heaviest burden
therefore
and in light that this is my scrapbook
my impressionistic diary
my confessional
my noticeboard
my little chatty bullshit lounge
my little chapel where my followers mayest come
actually its whatever
whatever whatever whatever
and i am the time being
you know what that means to you
you may not know what it means
but you know what it means to you
you dont have to read or watch
you dont have to agree or disagree
i am a medium level artistic freak
i am constantly improving
i will make mistakes
i will make great strides
i will continue
insult or injury
rewarded or acknowledged or no
no dice
no sugurlamp
no cigar
i have read several reviews of u 23 that say
its the best album EVER made
i read others bitching n moaning about it
me myself……fuck…ive already moved on
i’m still plotting my compleat lyric book
and editing together my jackfrost movie
or my next blim blam blom
you like my little films…?
you see me manipulate my elements
a true jack of all trades
a true jack of diamond geezers
tricky with words
handsome to boot
velvety voice
old n revered
who cares
not me
i never lost control….
ground control to major time being
TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER VERY MUCH….SHE KNOWS!!!
expect the unexpurgated unexpectable
i stumble on regardless
tomorrow guest singing on some record
the next day abusing my illusion of disillusionment
i am all over the shop
but i am gloriously me
me me me
ha ha ha
wo wo wo
i rock to the east
i rock to the west
every body here know
my heart is in the right place
or how else could i have arrived here
here among us
among us brothers n sisters
among us, the living and the loving
the loving made
made mad by loving love
or whatever
yeah
and thats for sure

steve kilbey
antarctica
south X south