posted on October 13, 2007 at 3:29 am

with almost 700,000 read
altho slipping slowly but surely down blogger chart
hovering in nineties as we speak (sigh)
seven hundred and fiftieth post
now with rsi and worse eyesight
back pain
from typing away
rabbiting on with my carryon here
all this tender venom
injecting it into the ethernet
blogge a burden for my own back
spend so much time herein
endure the extremes of adulation and loathing
monster blogge swallowing me alive
i have become a walking fiction
in my old haunts
a stranger to myself
introduced by a friend at a party
playing solitaire
listening to my solo album alone
so low as it can go
slowly it goes
unravelling like a bolero
i write this and that
reader beware
this is the stuff dreams are made of
if these shadows offend thee
pluck out thy wallet
if you are pleased with my humble magnificence
if you think im somewhere between the best and the worst
if you want to put the soy bacon on my table
and fix up my laughing gas bill
if you wanna pay me jus’ go ahead
an evil business to be sure
now cough up cough up cough up
cross my palms with silver
i see an attractive offer coming your way
i see great fortune
you will be the central figure in a world wide clique
controlling the fate of the entire planet
i will tell you things about yourself
and you will laugh out loud
or pay twice the subscription again
i will reveal to you the secrets of the mu-mu cult
and why the dollar coin has a secret ankh
i will show you ways to become a millionaire
a king
an emperor
a pope
a bass guitarist
(some courses no longer available)
this blogge will improve your physique
just by reading it!
i will show you how to be irresistable even to yourself
like me youll be shocked by your own charisma
when your devotees shower you in praises
when your billboard goes up on sunset
when crazed admirers are sky writing your name over tokyo
when rome declares your birthday a public holiday
all this and more
if you subscribe you may win a no-prize
we have 10 no-prizes to give away
including a free question that may never be answered
as long as its something i can
a) remember
b) not sub-judice
c) oh those brackets are a hassle to type
meanwhile hurly burly has been bought
it will be set in modern day california
leonardo will play the young brad pitt
as a killes himself
apollo go go go
nimbin is changed to the haight district
king astral are now called sausage and played by linkin parc
terry will be played by dom n nic
terri by the olsen twins friend miss dizzy
ritchie nicole kids man will play hookey
joe guitar will play softly
hoi polloi will appear as the crowd
you see
only this blogge has it all
all what ? you ask
it all , my friends
it all
all of it
the humour
the pathos
the glamour
the honesty
the poetry
the wonderment
guaranteed to be 100 per cent genius
down to the last single word
the blogge that doesnt need fucking capital letters
or full stops to make a point
this blogge
the original
the best
often imitated
never equalled
rolling stone called it
“best blog on earth”
david letterman said
“the time being is a phenomenon”
a high ranking irani official said
“gee had to read it everyday”
anonymous said
now you can subscribe almost for free
if you dont wish to pay
simply do nothing
if you wish to do nothing
simply pay
pay through the nose, candy
put yer money in my slot
its free to pay you know
no charge for the actual subscription
go ahead
meet my pay pal
make me rich
i just turned 750

37 Responses to “time being turns 750”

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