posted on September 15, 2007 at 12:51 am

i dunno what to write about tori
she comes on in black wig n horrible clothes
shes touching herself…..there
indeed when she 1st took the stage
she proffered her bum to the audience
who men n women both went crazy
all night long tori was busy gesticulating
hand jiving as she hammered the keys
illustrating the songs with gestures
all of them sexual
toris hand strokes a huge imaginary phallus
tori wanks around
tori touches her bosoms n opens her legs suddenly
she turns around and again offers her ass
she writhes n twitches as she plays the piano
singing a naughty line
n checking out the audience
with an expression thats a cross between
elton john n chrissie amphlett
she is with no doubt an incredible player
make no mistake this woman is brilliant on the keys
the best bits are where it all breaks down
to tori in the upper register
her riffs going round n round
like philip glasses musical phrase-loops
she can sing too
but i quickly got tired of all her “operatic” bits
where she really takes off into the falsetto
the band is good but the drums are mixed too loud
the bass player is mellifluous
the guitarist is quite inventive
tori disappears after a while
n returns in a hideous green shiny outfit
that looks like it was in the bargain bin at st vinnies
and a long straight ginger wig
both wigs go right down to the eyes
covering much of her face
she can certainly play the piano from some different angles
but coming across more as a precocious kid
at her own birthday party
rather than the wild shooting from the hip hi priestess
she might hope for
whats wrong with tori?
the lights are magnificent
the sound is ok for the op house
tori jerks n writhes all the way thru
she does a sorta fairytale 2nd last
nk is rapt
(kate bush comes on pod at this point)
it didnt move me
im asking myself at the time
it just felt like tori was faking it
an incredible performance
but all in aid of what?
of course the audience lapped it up
tho strangely muted sometimes
tori only talks once
and its the olde i love australia bullshit
the kneejerk crowd all cheer
is that all you can really come up with, tori?
in the end i left puzzled
nk thought it was great
afterwards as we walk through the quay
a couple of girls come up n say
what did you think?
it was ok i say
the girls seem surprised
oh really!
no you know…it was good..i mutter
actually i dont know what to think
there were some great moments during the set
but somethings gone wrong for tori
the outfits wigs n movements….WHY?
she was a lot “sexier” before…
if thats what she wants to be
now shes weird
like a rich eccentric auntie might be weird
not necessarily nice weirdness
and talking of rich
150 bucks a ticket
times 2000
times 3 nights
toris pulling in over 600,000 bucks from sydney
shes in a cocoon
no one can tell her shes being ridiculous
just cos you can play the piano
doesnt mean that you cant be silly as well
and thats how i feel about most of it
brilliant yet silly
the buzzz
this legal high
made from chocolate, orange, damiana,honey, etc
just like the real deal
but better smoother no hangover
a powerful aphrodisiac
dreamy feeling
oh everything feels so good
lasted 4 hours or so
woke up feeling real good
will be heading over to newtown today
for more supplies
as my cafe friend said
like the best bits of cocaine n ecstacy
without the chemicals..
fiendsss this stuff is good
and perfectly legal
i have no idea how they do it
other ingredients include
the buzzz blew our minds
this is worth checking out
dont worry
its legal!

weird note
tori came on ipod just as i was checking the spelling!

45 Responses to “tori 0, buzzz 1”

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