oh ho
alrighty
my my my
i went to the pool
freezing freezing
i tell you that you swim that first lap very politely
head out of the water n everything
you feel all the breath squeezed out of you
you lungs can only seem to pant
your body feels shocked
the cold water feels like pain
it hurts, baby, it hurts
hurts so good
by the time you done one lap
the pains turned into a dull numbness
a numbness that almost feels warm
like youre immersed in very hot water
you can start to breathe now
and you can immerse yer face in the water
i do ten laps of breast stroke (im good at breast-stroking!)
and then i do 5 of backstroke and 5 of freestyle
by the time i get out my body is thoroughly confused
i head to the sauna on numb and wobbly legs
ah…theres no one in there
i sit back on my perch and silently admire the ocean
i get into lotus and start to meditate
mmm
when
suddenly
a very loud trebly and phlegmy voice pierces my reverie
WILL YA LOOK AT THAT THE WHOLE FUCKEN POOL IS EMPTY!
one of the olde “diggers” that is a permanent fixture at the pool
theres about 10 of these guys in their seventies
they swim n play cards regardless of the weather
theyre permanently tanned n weather beaten
and everything they say is liberally sprinkled with the word ‘fucken”
THEY HAD THE FUCKEN RACES YESTERDAY…..
ALL THE FUCKEN BLOKES STANDIN’ ROUND FUCKEN FREEZIN’
i see nirvana disappear in my rearview mirror
i know this guy doesnt really like me but i’m the only one there
I HADDA FUCKEN RACE AND I HADDA STAND AROUND FUCKEN WET
FOR FIFTEEN FUCKEN MINUTES WAITIN” FOR THE NEXT FUCKEN RACE!
he’s one of those blokes who talks at you
he doesnt care if youre interested or not…
ITS FUCKEN ONLY 12 DEGREES IN THE FUCKEN BABY POOL
he adds
12 FUCKEN DEGREES….THATS FUCKEN COLD!
his voice is five times louder than it needs to be
a foghorn of a voice penetrating yer mind with its abrasiveness
TOO FUCKEN COLD FOR ME hes saying
i get up and leave the sauna
hes still going as i close the door
WILLYA LOOK AT THAT….NO ONE IN THE FUCKEN POOL AT ALL..
i walk home quite high on my endorphins
you dont reckon them lil painkilling doo dahs come out like crazy
when youve immersed yerself in water thats only 14 FUCKEN DEGREES?
i feel very rubbery
a good rubbery
i feel flexible and healthy
i pound down the pavements
aware of my feet propelling me along
aware of all the sinews and gristle n cartilage
and all the muscles pushing me thither
i listen to an admixture from my ipod
gimme shelter by the stones
some underground lovers
some other stuff
when i get home
i bounce up the stairs
nk greets me at the door
very worried
um scarlet got at your painting she says
oh no
i feel icy feelings of rage destroying my bonhomie
no no not my painting…
i run to my room
FUCKEN JESUS
shes taken some turquoise paint
and smeared it all over the face and body of a painting
a painting i’m doing for a friend
a painting i’d been carefully n lovingly working on
now schmeared in thick turquoise gouache
all over the pink pastel skin
i do a little dance in my rage
and i liberally sprinkle my exclamations with the word FUCKEN
the people all disappear outta the house to get away from the madman
as they drive off im still FUCKEN FUCKEN FUCKEN away
eventually i start trying to work on it
i dab at the paint with wet tissues trying to take the worst away
shes slapped it on thick too
( as well as eating half a tube herself apparently)
i knew it was coming
only the day before i’d run into my studio
and found her poised before my painting with a roller
shes been fascinated watching me work
and i know she wants to have a go
so it wasnt totally outta the blue…(bad choice of words…)
but….FUCKEN HELLL!!!!!
anyway after about twenty minutes
im left with large pale blue stains and the pastel all funny
i start the laborious process of trying to cover the paint with pastel
then fixing it
and going over it again n again
after a couple of hours work
the guy in the painting looks like he just came from the panel beaters
with white crusty bits where hes been fixed up
i aint been game to get to the next stage yet
so i dunno if i can totally fix it up….
bloody bastard kids……!@!!!! (sorry joycie)
of course i still love lil scarlet n all
but christ…
my anger exhausts me
i just sit there for a cuppla hours recuperating
it turns into a nice day
i go out on the balc n pump painkiller
and do a long long yoga session
oh my olde carcass is getting flexible
i start off with the dog pose
stretching my calves n hamstrings
my head hanging down free
i move between upward n downward dog
for a while
rolling my toes
strengthening my core
getting my feet flat
i move on into the standing poses
stretching my arms n back out
paiunkiller sounds good blasting into the open air
the sun is warming but not burning
i start to feel good
the yoga sends more endorphins into my system
i feel like ive had a shot of some delicious opiate..
i stand in garudasana my favourite position
the eagle pose
my shoulders open out
my legs fill with blood and get a good flush of it
then i get into the tree pose
i hold each pose for about a minute
twice to each side
then the standing poses like
the triangle
the warrior
the blah blah blah
finally i finish with the seated twists
twisting my stomach right around
forcing blood through my organs
maintaining flexibility of spine
painkiller pumps on in the bright air
i do a shoulderstand to end it
then shivasana
the corpses pose
let that good yoga sink in
i tell ya fiendss for fifty four
i feel FUCKEN good
in the night i go up to jlks place
now as youve probably noticed
the esoteric music club is up n running
everyweek a new song
not all of em featuring moi
but many or most will
we’ve already recorded a whole bunch
i leaked zoo 42 out early to davey duchow
so thats what that is…
now we’re trying the donation system here
you can get em for free but we’d appreciate a donation
if you dont donate
the emc will eventually fold due to lack of funds
if you like the tracks please give generously
this is our living
we’re not breadheads
but we have bills to pay and stuff
so if ya dont pay
the thing will eventually go away
and like all paypal transactions
its better to give ten bucks (say) in one hit
than 1 dollar over 10 hits
(due to the way their commission works)
if you want a new track from us each week please donate..
then jlk n i worked on another gb3 track
which ended up splendidly
the words and melodies came easy
we banged it all down in a cuppla hours
jlk’ll do some homework
and then we’re 2 tracks down and ready for more
come home in time to read to the doodles
(we’re on the second book…the subtle knife
its almost as good as narnia!)
then finally
all the bloody kids asleep at last
nk n i let down our hair
and enjoy whats left of the evening
in the honour of eros
the wee god of lurve….
oh yeah
and
right on
another crazy FUCKEN day in the life of …….
(drum roll!)
the time being