posted on March 13, 2008 at 6:11 am

a juice bar in bondi
i approach it and the people are all listening
the two guys behind the counter +
a male n female customer
theyre listening to a song i cant quite make out
my hearing is that bad
i hear something sounding vaguely familiar
the people are all quite excited by it
i wonder what it is
the bits that get under my tinnitus’ radar sound ….hmmm?
the guy behind the counter says to the customer
your band should do this song billy
oh yeah well wed love to…i wish we could
yeah i love this song and this band says the older dude
behind the counter
who looks a bit like an older healthier david lane
ooh i love it too says the woman
my curiosity forces me up front to the counter
what song are they listening to…?
of course my loyal feendss will have already guessed
it was THAT song
yeah you know the one
the one gonna be in that hit novel bein’ made into film right now
before my brain can do anything
i say i wrote that song
someone kinda sniggers
the woman spins round to observe me
look at me
in a droopy weatherbeaten hat
white beard
a shortsleeved grey worksheet that has patches
a winged eyeball
and 2 different ones saying “chronic”
baggy shorts white with rainbow pastel stains
a pair of boots
do i look like some dapper songwriting geezer
or do i look like the bloke thats come round
to give you a quote on yer rising damp?
now one of the guys behind the counter
has never really liked me that much
always treated me ever so ever so off hand
now he looks at me hard
what is his expression?
whats yer name mate? he says eventually
in a tone
like a policeman caught a thief red handed
steve i says
taking off the hat and sunglasses
he registers that
ive bought at least 100 watermelon pineapple n ginger juices
off this guy
he always asks yer name so they call out to ya when its done
maybe it breeds some pseudo-cameraderie…i dunno
he knows im steve
steve kilbey i say after allowing a suitable dramatic pause
suddenly they all break out in church stories
i saw you here….!
i bought this then…..!
i got blah blah blahed to this song…!
the woman personally thanks me over n over
for writing the song
as if its brought about world peace or something
she cant believe shes meeting a real live songwriter
whos songs are played on the radio and everyfing…
i really really mean it she says reluctant to let me n the woofle go
i really really do she is still saying as me n the woofle skedaddle
she still stands there behind me in the distance
thinking how she’ll tell her husband jason
how she met…oh whatsisname
who wrote that song yer sister got married too…

ps im in the running still for ant sci !

41 Responses to “verily i tell thee : life is weird”

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