i am oscillating between
incredulity and apathy
this world is spinning
and its got me spinning
on my axis
(of evil)
attracted by one pole
repulsed by the other
i go round
and
round
strangled by desires that proliferate
in the darkness of (this) mans mind
like that little gadget joycies got
one black side
one white side
put it in the sun and it
goes round
and
round
i am drinking a bottle of water
its called oxygenizer
it claims to reoxygenise ya
i oscillate between believing this
followed by disdain for my own naivety
that i would believe that codswallop
followed by belief again
etc etc
etc
then i realise im revolving on thousands of these axes
(is that the plural of axis?)
belief
non belief
like
dislike
love
hate
man
woman
life
death
infinity
i meet a guy on the street
offers me a part in a film
hes got an accent and a card with his name
and a camera
who will i be playing i ask
ha ha ha the film man
and the guy who introduced us laugh
youll find out man…
cant tell you here….
ha ha
youre perfect for this role…
see ya tomorrow…i;ll tell ya then
ok
ok
so im oscillating wildly now
all over the place
you see this principle, folks?
its a wonder i get anything done
such is the whirlpool of my mind
i saw a show on oj simpson
he did it
he got off
cmon
just like gw rigged the election
down in florydah
cmon you think theres a shred o doubt?
its like bobby dylan says
steal a little and they throw you in jail
steal a lot and they make ya a king

audacity
dont underestimate the power of audacity
my daughter evies got it in spades
she believes she can do anything she wants
so she does
this has enormous pluses and minuses
for her
and everybody else
she could walk when she was 7 months old
aurora her twin who has very little audacity
didnt walk till nearly 4 months later
so audacity is an inherent quality
you can turn it to goode
(i will climb yonder mountain)
or to badde
(sod democracy, i was born to rule)
i realise now that although not as supercharged with audacity
as evie
i must have a bit myself
a stubborn belief
when you hit a wall
its the walls fault
in the early days of the chruch
i was audaciously rude
to radio types
journos
fat record execs with bentleys and botox flesh mistress
anyone in a suit or tie
the other guys in the group
men
women
small children
and several breeds of dogs
i didnae wanna be rude per se
i just thought it was something young geniuses did
talking of journalists
there was an english guy
he wrote for nme or somethin’
i think he may still even be around
his name was mat snow
wow
mat snow
what a great name
i sure wish i was called mat snow
instead of stevie k
any how
he always give us Badde reviews
comparing us unfavourably always with rem
so i really in awe of this dude
i imagine hes like nick kent
legendary 70s writer with rockstar looks
and connexions
so imagine in 1984
i in london
i get to do interview with mat snow
i very nervous to meet this groover
who has ridiculed my records
and fucked my chances in olde blighty
i and gurlie from carrere records in pub
i imagining guys gonna come in
cross between keef richards and paul simenon
gurlie from carrere goes
oh hi mat
this is steve
i look up to meet my critic
a short bald fat little bastard
who scoffed down eggs and sausages and bake beans
and got it all over his shirt and tie
and was really excited by the fact
that he could ‘ave as many bevvies
as ‘e liked
FER FREE !!
in person he wasnt up for much of an argument either
when i aimed my outraged ascerbic egos tongue
at his greasy little self
so mat ah tell me again why seance is so fucking awful
but he was too busy wiv ‘is sausages and beer to ansa

is he still around, boydie?
i dunno why im venting my spleen on that dude
imagine wot he fuckin’ well looks like now
he looked and acted like 50 when he was 25
but what really pissed me off was that
it was always him that reviewd our records
year after year
same as steve suvverland
another pommy git
and a personal coward when i challenged him
manne to worm
to an argument
as to why everything we had ever done was 2nd rate
and the cat had his tongue
but alone with his typewriter
he was the adjectival king
aint he still around too, boydie?
those 2 guys
singlehandedly
(well doublehandedly actually
prevented me from being a english sooper starr
so fuck em

i love ya
me