evie n i go to the icebergs
i run into a guy i owe 300 dollars and its embarassing
i shoulda fixed him up before its just laziness
i know i know he says as i fumble my apology
anytime anytime he says
then im sitting in the sauna when harry comes in
hi harry i mutter
oh i didnt recognize you sitting there booms harry
youre normally making a lot more noise for yourself…
yeah… thanks harry…
i do only 12 laps and run outta steam
evies in the pool and she waits as i get up her end
and she swims underneath me as i go over her
making me me fearful for a kick in the privates
oof! yep…there it is!
we get home and i make pears
then we decide its such a warm perfect day
we’ll go to the most lovely almost secret park in bondi
and we’ll play kubb
a swedish game of throwing batons at wooden pieces…
did i ever tell ya that one day every now n then
these black ants have their own wedding/orgy/mass suicide
well yes
you see
if you think your sexlife is underpar
then grok this
there is only one chick in the whole colony
uh huh the queen herself
so if youre a horny ant then shes the only lady in town
gee how does that work timebeing i hear you ask
its not as bad as you think
cos most of the cats in the colony are neuter
thats correct…neither here nor there
they dont have sex
theyre the workers n the soldiers
there are however some males
ooh look they have wings too
on this one special day
the queen who can fly too
she flings herself naked through the sky
her majesty looking to get laid
the males
those prince consorts
hundreds of em
imagine the conversation between 2 male ants:
hey bill …exciting isnt?
what reg…flying with the queen n stuff?
yeah bill..of course
you know shes only gonna mate with one of us reg?
yeah…i s’pose so…
well look around mate these bleeding thousands of us
yeah youre right bill…nevermind…what you doing after?
after? after reg? there is no fucking after…!
what you mean bill…no after..ha ha (laughs nervously)
reg dont you know….we’re all gonna die today..matey or no matey..
glum silence
*
yes the males all perish
none return to the nest
not even he who got lucky with her maj
anyway all the ants have come out from underground
and theyre a little excited to say the least
its like airforce day and empire day and a sexy tragedy
all in one hit
scarlet kilbey is standing among them
in one black uprush they ascend up her legs
in her sox
in her undies
nipping her white baby groin
biting her pink soft chubby legs
scarlet kilbey goes ballistic
screaming and dancing a weird ants in my pants dance
the game is over before its begun
we think we got em all off
and she starts wailing again
and we find another little bugger biting her for all its worth
the doodles play kubb while we see to scarlet
eves much better than aurora
so shes all mouthy and showing off
while aurora keeps flouncing off in a huff
everybodies going for it
so much for a quiet game
eventually me n nk get to play
(i won resoundingly)
and i became just like eve… all cocky
sigh
sigh
i drive up to blue mountains at 4
in my old falcon, tibor
we drive up into the mountains alone
much roadwork
much police
much argy bargy
i suddenly realise i need a ye olde wee wee
and i drive off main drag into the forest and get lost somehow
i have to retrace my steps out after much panic
i get to katoomba
which i dont particularly care for that much
find the carrington
a huge old hotel where queen vickie once had a bath
(or something)
the people having the wedding are very nice
piercings and tattoos abound
they are all mid thirties
the p.a. isnt very good
there is no stage
i just stand there near a table singing
i start with providence
its all crackling distorted n feeble
this eventually is rectified
while i play n sing
people talk n laugh
kids run around
dinner gets served
(yuck! its bloody steak or something!)
however
the bride n groom and a few of the guests
really love my music so i close my eyes n think of england
i do “let it be me” and a bunch of oldies cheer
i quite enjoy myself even under these far from perfect conditions
daniel is a great groom and longtime fan
he and quite a few others tell me
they grew up listening to me
its nice
im a little shy i guess but these folks are real nice
i am saddened to learn daniels mother died 2 weeks before wedding
they serve me a vegan meal
we do thought that i was over you with daniel singing in mike w/ me
i do milky way for bridal waltz
a good time was had by all
i finish up
i get paid
long boring drive home
listening to some church jams n marvelling
25 minute pieces of music
like entire sides of prog rock albums never released
i almost drift off to sleep a few times
but luckily was jolted back to awareness by some force
come home just after midnite
my wife in the darkness waiting patiently for me
mmmm
goodnight to all