plane thought

all those magic books making me longing for something quite marvellous all the times in the caravan by the black lake with the blue cranes all those tiny red sweets your lovely sister sucked on all those planes at night in the sydney sky yeah i am coming home laughing up the drive the drizzling warm wind turning my umbrella mind into a wand wandering aimlessly i come to the seapool and dove in in the middle of the night i was alone in the water except for the rain as i swam around weightlessly my breath escaped in silver wriggling bursts thirsty for your fathoms down father i sank in disappearing circles underwater the clouds held me down by my toes my unstitched shadow was violently thrown against the sand drowning in bed where absence has unmade it up and above it all my angel protects and guides me like a weapon in all spheres we are each represented by another spirit in water air fire and earth am i put together in gold love hate and evil pulled apart in the loneliness of a crowded hotel the noise killed my ear in the embrace of a memory the drink had dulled my mind in the hand you offered a strong suit a firm shake the new car slipped through the rain like Vsnu’s disc i forgot to mention how warm i was feeling now safely falling home a streetwalker a roadworker an old timer a 2 timer tell her you do yoga says a voice in another room you already said it grumbled the horizon which was dividing the elements in the reflection in the mirror on the table in the corner in the room inside the house in the quietest night imaginable in the silence that comes into […]

Photo on 24-03-2017 at 11.50 PM
look downward angel

look downward angel

all those magic books making me longing for something quite marvellous

all the times in the caravan by the black lake with the blue cranes

all those tiny red sweets your lovely sister sucked on

all those planes at night in the sydney sky

yeah i am coming home laughing up the drive

the drizzling warm wind turning my umbrella mind into a wand

wandering aimlessly i come to the seapool and dove in

in the middle of the night i was alone in the water except for the rain

as i swam around weightlessly my breath escaped in silver wriggling bursts

thirsty for your fathoms down father i sank in disappearing circles

underwater the clouds held me down by my toes

my unstitched shadow was violently thrown against the sand

drowning in bed where absence has unmade it

up and above it all my angel protects and guides me like a weapon

in all spheres we are each represented by another spirit

in water air fire and earth am i put together

in gold love hate and evil pulled apart

in the loneliness of a crowded hotel the noise killed my ear

in the embrace of a memory the drink had dulled my mind

in the hand you offered a strong suit a firm shake

the new car slipped through the rain like Vsnu’s disc

i forgot to mention how warm i was feeling now safely falling home

a streetwalker a roadworker an old timer a 2 timer

tell her you do yoga says a voice in another room

you already said it grumbled the horizon which was dividing the elements

in the reflection in the mirror on the table in the corner

in the room inside the house in the quietest night imaginable

in the silence that comes into the night leaked from another world

in the things in themselves without their shells and their shields

like a sword apprehension cuts through the sway

under the green sea light i dont look like anything

under the nets and the buoys and the place where they tie the sea up

under the canopy of the surface of the very sea itself

i look like anybody else just slipping into inkiness

just a white flash of flesh in the eel filled murk

in the loneliness of a gethsemene sold for silver

in the horror of golgotha place of skulls

an echo of the groaning slaves seem to come from the sea caves

i escape with a rap on the knuckles but reality still buckles

i dream up the man i am but i slam into concrete discretion

still i’m laughing and singing and beginning that long walk to you

the tide is like the seas hide or the seas side

where land ends i should have pretended to sleep

instead some mimic in me mocks the coincidences and the stimuli

the connections between the nodes motherlode of overload

i jammed up a storm in a chinashop i couldnt stop the bull

my hands shook as i played but it was not the music it was reading your book

lofty words in a stack on the floor

i am complete i am completely complete said a voice in another room

you are the dawn mentioned paul eluard to his companion

we are there announced the voice that comes through sometimes

when youre collecting for rushes by the side of the sea

when your friend says suddenly stand beside me

when your mind has been fucked by this and by that

still i’m laughing and singing and floating in this flat

as the blue night turns to musk

i trust in slumber my reverie will be of all of thee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

after life

when i was a young man death seemed like an obscenity to me but now i am old and growing weary it seems like a friend waiting down the end of the track maybe holding out some sweet oblivion a well deserved rest from all this strife and quarrel all this desire and struggle a chance to meet my people who gone on before to prepare me a room in its great mansions like an arrow i will fly into that bardo like a bolt my shining imperishable soul will leap forth from this dreary casing like a javelin lancing the sky i will shoot away from this plane veil of tears wrenched away O let there be reunion in the glow of krsnaloka O let me go there to paradise to nirvana to heaven body of light hands of the stars eyes piercing maya perceiving for the first time how fucking magnificent it all is as a thinking man knowing energy never disappears it only changes form as a knowing man thinking all of us kings will return yes i believe some jesus will be meeting me there some incorporeal angel with soothing fingers of forgetfulness some valkyrie lifting me out of my battle unto valhalla some electric female spirit charging me double yeah forefathers and dead friends yeah weep no more O my brother why these tears..? i am returned to you reintegration of loveliness now i am no more a whispering wind over the dunes and dark rippling sea a song you half remembered from so long ago before yourself baby light bringer song of the morning star the lingering fading smell of distant perfume in the soft rain man i love you all woman i love you all lets all get together people in the house of the lord […]

Photo on 23-03-2017 at 8.35 PM
dead mans dream

dead mans dream

when i was a young man death seemed like an obscenity to me

but now i am old and growing weary it seems like a friend waiting down the end of the track

maybe holding out some sweet oblivion

a well deserved rest from all this strife and quarrel

all this desire and struggle

a chance to meet my people who gone on before

to prepare me a room in its great mansions

like an arrow i will fly into that bardo

like a bolt my shining imperishable soul will leap forth from this dreary casing

like a javelin lancing the sky i will shoot away from this plane

veil of tears wrenched away

O let there be reunion in the glow of krsnaloka

O let me go there to paradise to nirvana to heaven

body of light

hands of the stars

eyes piercing maya

perceiving for the first time how fucking magnificent it all is

as a thinking man knowing energy never disappears it only changes form

as a knowing man thinking all of us kings will return

yes i believe some jesus will be meeting me there

some incorporeal angel with soothing fingers of forgetfulness

some valkyrie lifting me out of my battle unto valhalla

some electric female spirit charging me double

yeah forefathers and dead friends

yeah weep no more O my brother why these tears..?

i am returned to you

reintegration of loveliness now i am no more

a whispering wind over the dunes and dark rippling sea

a song you half remembered from so long ago before yourself

baby light bringer

song of the morning star

the lingering fading smell of distant perfume in the soft rain

man i love you all

woman i love you all

lets all get together people in the house of the lord

we will walk through the gentle vales and marvel at the swans

the sound of the flute deep in the jungle

krsna and radha together again love

mum and dad and girls and boys and all the dogs and all the cats

what more could you ever want

after life will be more life love

 

this blog for AC

 

 

 

 

 

blurred speech slurred vision

yeah yeah yeah i know i was being stupid but i took some codeine then i went out and had a drink and a smoke i was at some friends place outside i was gonna make a phone call to somebody maybe my mother next i thing i know a bunch of concerned people are hunched over me you were out says frances who is a good friend as shes like cradling my head im sweating and my head is throbbing i beg for no ambulance and i sit down for awhile and then i go home frances incredibly kindly slept on my couch so that she could keep an eye on me ok thats enough of that yes im going to the doctor tomorrow so whattya think shuttup with the advice and listen because the place i went to wherever i went where i went ah yes it was the purest bliss an incredibly beautiful person she was talking to me there we were talking oh for hours in what must have been only a minute or so of unconsciousness a beautiful place maybe i was talking to an uh angel or sumpthin’ there was no pain there was only light and there was only love man i aint saying that was necessarily heaven i wasnt dead i was just knocked out loaded as bob says but man oh that place and oh that angelic presence wow is that really what a knock on the head can do? remember back in 08 when i got dehydrated and collapsed well that place was hellish a dark roaring abyss this was the opposite my friends i cant describe how shocked i was to wake up and find out i was just some old geeza whos collapsed in a garden in bondi it […]

Photo on 20-03-2017 at 10.05 PM
abide with me

abide with me

yeah yeah yeah i know i was being stupid

but i took some codeine

then i went out and had a drink and a smoke

i was at some friends place outside

i was gonna make a phone call to somebody maybe my mother

next i thing i know a bunch of concerned people are hunched over me

you were out says frances who is a good friend as shes like cradling my head

im sweating and my head is throbbing

i beg for no ambulance and i sit down for awhile and then i go home

frances incredibly kindly slept on my couch so that she could keep an eye on me

ok thats enough of that

yes im going to the doctor tomorrow so whattya think shuttup with the advice and listen

because the place i went to wherever i went where i went

ah yes it was the purest bliss

an incredibly beautiful person she was talking to me there

we were talking oh for hours in what must have been only a minute or so of unconsciousness

a beautiful place maybe i was talking to an uh angel or sumpthin’

there was no pain there was only light and there was only love

man i aint saying that was necessarily heaven

i wasnt dead i was just knocked out loaded as bob says

but man oh that place and oh that angelic presence

wow is that really what a knock on the head can do?

remember back in 08 when i got dehydrated and collapsed

well that place was hellish a dark roaring abyss

this was the opposite my friends

i cant describe how shocked i was to wake up

and find out i was just some old geeza whos collapsed in a garden in bondi

it seemed like that was the dream a painful aching sweaty complicated dream of bother and dismay

the other place was serene it was sacred it was my hearts desire and i met some presence there

it was a stupid thing but the vision remains of palpable peace and harmony of some other plane

i went there and stayed for hours even as i said it was a only a minute

it changed something in me

something im not sure what yet

i know ive hurt myself a bit with my body and my head

yet i still did 20 laps at the pool today

im seeing the quack tomorrow so cool out ok?

concentrate on the vision i perceived there

verily i tell you my cats

it was the bees knees

financials

my dear readers and friends you are all bored stupid by now with hearing about musicians and songwriters are earning virtually zilch these days well here i am and i am in the same boat with no tours coming up and nothing coming in so to speak of and 3 kids to support so i put this to you A) you can still buy every solo album i ever made and then some for a hundred bucks stevekilbey.bandcamp.com B) for 50 bucks you can commission me to write a blog about absolutely anything you can think of C ) for 50 bucks i will do you a postcard sized original painting on high quality art paper which will be signed numbered and thanked by me i am sorry it got to this and i would most be humbly grateful if any of ya can help out until something comes along my paypal is stevekilbey@gmail.com if you dont want any of that stuff you can still make any contribution and i will be eternally grateful SK  

my dear readers and friends

you are all bored stupid by now with hearing about musicians and songwriters are earning virtually zilch these days

well here i am and i am in the same boat with no tours coming up and nothing coming in so to speak of and 3 kids to support

so i put this to you

A) you can still buy every solo album i ever made and then some for a hundred bucks

stevekilbey.bandcamp.com

B) for 50 bucks you can commission me to write a blog about absolutely anything you can think of

C ) for 50 bucks i will do you a postcard sized original painting on high quality art paper which will be signed numbered and thanked by me

i am sorry it got to this and i would most be humbly grateful if any of ya can help out until something comes along

my paypal is stevekilbey@gmail.com

if you dont want any of that stuff you can still make any contribution and i will be eternally grateful

SK