The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

rocknroll
rip em n blues
jazzm
klingande klangande melodi
rock and a hard plaice
fire from earths core
nothing no-one can touch me now
i laughing
i fall on the floor and i laughing
i laugh at my dee tractors
i laugh at the squares
i laugh at the jealous whingeing whining carping pricks
who cannot be me…
i’m sorry this position is filled
only room for one renaissance man on this plane, tosh
i sacrifice this guitar to poseidon
i dedicate this life to magic to music to rock
i got the tunes
i got the words
i got the stupid and good moves
i’m a joke
i’m a joker
and i’m not joking
you know i’m so special
is that why the proletariat cannot dig my groovy trick?
i do things right
i do things wrong
i do things my way
and some days i dont care
about anyones opinion
worship me
revile me
ignore me
i cant feel a thing…
this is my fucking page
i do what i like
and im a big headed pig headed fool
no kind or harsh words have EVER swayed me from my appointed rounds
i deliver
all those fucking songs
98% of em excellent beyond all known mortal constraints
you know its true
or why turn up here to read this…?
(oooh i’m 19 on the charts…IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!)
you either love me or you hate me
and if you love me youre smart
and if you hate me its cos youre a squirming jealous thwarted lump
thats right
read it and weep
you cant erase my words
my music my images my words my mojo
will live on n on
after our individual deaths
my lovely daughters
my lovely calves
my lovely seizure
my lovely olde age
my lovely lovely lovely face
like a king from the olden daze
you know it
a rock-king
with a fender bass as his staff
with six beautiiful women as his familiars
with his freckles like the spots of some mangey cat
my fingers forgotten more than most peoples brains
my fingers pumping out bass bliss for 40 years
my velvety throat crooning those bestest words in the universe
the worlds forgotten geezer
a diamond mind
christ if i not a genius then who is?
yeah?
im waiting for yer reply
come on
send me yer bile
i turn it back into music
and i become even more entrenched
oh come let you a-door me
or bugger off
if youre rich send me money
if youre poor send me good vibes
if you cant have a laugh at me with me
the jokes on you
i’m the first to say
kilbey is the worst
i’m the first to say
kilbey is the best
embrace my paradox
you cant ever insult or compliment me
more than i already done
i churn out masterpieces
like other people write shopping lists
bang
there goes another one…
look out
you might miss it
cmon on and love me
dont resist it
the saint who is no saint
white hippy moses
the mangey panther
lo i write my own mythology
and it all comes true
look at me
i’m fifty nearly five ha ha ha
AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT!
show biz
smack
dope
coke
broke
joke
the ATO…come n get me baby dead or alive
i escaped from new york
i never eat pork
i sing deeper than tommy yawk
i paint better than blind boy grunt
i speak better than marcel marceau
i liver than you’ll ever be
you’ll never know
here i am in my own little world
come in please and make yerself at home
dont stab me in the back cos its rude
and its cowardly
come
come
be one of us
accept me into your life
listen to songs i wrote 30 years ago
theyre still good
look
you got 2 choices
enjoy it
or
leave
look
a very wise man once said
an enemy always equals an adorer
and you know
i tend to agree
but i tell you
i love my people
i love my family
i love my fiendss
i will not tolerate disrespect
my people know where they stand with me
me…mr arrogant everyman
naturally aristocratic tho my origins are humble cockney
very ‘umble, squire..ha ha ha
i got the kinder looks you cant buy
look i stand on stage
AND VERILY I DOTH ROCK!
lo and behold childe
i make that fucking guitar squeal like a bitch
i got no rules
i got no regulations
i travel all over this world
i travel thru time in my mind
i believe in rocknroll
and if you believe in me and my rocknroll
i swear i will not let thee down
my honesty is my mystery
come in
and i will wash your dusty feet
come in
i accept the disenfranchised
i accept the freaks
i accept the vandals and the goths
and i accept
the strangely beautiful and the familiar ugly
i want your hearts and minds
trust me
i’m a rocknroll doctor
i need to make a small incision in your anonymous skull
and just…
oh dear
well i told ya so…
jealousy is a cursive script
and your pathetic envy needs to be drained
before you expire in a puddle of blob
i’m a almost vegan
i’m a almost with you
hey there using my song in another big tv show
dont it make ya sick….?
are you for me…or agin me….?
if you for me i will protect you in song
i will give you the ten thousand me’s i got up my steve
ha ha
this mere blog
this imbecilic rant
is still bigger n better
than what your average crowda people will write in a life time….
im a hundred monkeys with a hundred typewriters
n lo
i’m banging out shakespeare
lo
i’m banging out steve kilbey
and the critics are wearing out their thesauruses
looking for superlatives for what i do
why resist me?
why stay around and not give in…
put yerself in my hands
put yerselves in my shoes
put yerselves in my picture
i’m saint steven the martyr
martyred by philistines
crucified in fucking space
i licked smack
i licked dehydration
i licked soy ice creams
i licked postage stamps
n i got you licked any old day
ha ha
you know its true
succumb
i got the good genes
i got the music in me
i still a contender but no one steps into the ring
the ring of fire
cos i burn and i return
i croon n the women swoon to my tune
i aint descended from no baboon
i play bass with my angular face
i paint like the ex-communicated saint that i aint
i been rocking 40 years no fears many tears
no one suede me
no one changes me
no one out trumps me but god and time
i know what i do is good
lord i aint really a fool
but if i am
why read a fools words…
only a fool would do that
my people know i give em what i can
i was shy for a while…oh miles ago
but now
fuck it
fuck em
fuck you
you not gonna get this anywhere else
i love my people and they do know it
it shows in the love i pour into my music
i dont condescend
i dont serve up any old rubbish
my songs are viruses infecting your brain
and they live on n on
growing stronger n stranger n bigger n better
you betcha!
and i tell ya who listens to my stuff
doctors
professors
lawyers
math-a-mat-icians
ministers
theologians
masters of martial arts
teachers
dentists
archi-friggin tecks
soldier boys
grey nurses
the void hears me howl
my people n i locked in our loop
all of us in this together
some heal
some teach
some litigate
some account
some ponder
some cogitate
while
i
i sing
i sing these songs cos no one else could
i am the thinking mans song
those captains of industry
those university trained boffins and big wigs
AT THE ENDA A HARD DAY THEY NEED THEIR KILBEY FIX
marine biologists swim in my sea of songs
linguists smile n wonder at my wordplay
musicologists appreciate my uses of harmony n dissonance
novices cannot fathom my productivity
my enemies…none will show their faces..
come forwards if you dare
they grumble n send me little hits below the belt
but i learnt from my hero harry houdini
my fucking stomach is flexed n ready for yer weak little punches
metaphoric or otherwise
or come n find me
i live on an island
where i have tamed the elementals
music
art
words
i am broke but never really broken
oh how my people will rejoice when i am crowned
oh how my snivelling anonymous d-tractors will weep
gnash their dentures
and wail in sorrow
when i ascend into my waiting nirvana
ha ha ha
i never run out of words
i hard wired into pure creativity
i got the discipline
i got the stamina
i got the mojo rising
genius is pain
i’m in agony
and you
you either love me
or you remain here
a hypocritic oaf
an anonymouse rat
a flea
a fly
a nothing
i faced death in aeroplanes and needles and diseases and cars
i been electrocuted
i been run over
i been addicted
i been punched in the head
i seen my beautiful daughters pulled
outta their conscious mothers stomachs crying
and none of us flinched
i aint dismayed by any jive you can come up with
i giggle at the prating of the philistines
water off this (man) drakes back
i’m a man, cant you see what i am
tough and tender
daring to make mistakes
not hiding in some dirty dark hole
firing shots at his betters
cowardly custard…i know who you are…
wormtongued insect
presumptuous nothing
worthless insignificant blot

the pic was taken by my friend jemal wade
the rant was inspired by some rude anonymous comments
i defy all your preconceptions
i will never be who you want me to be
and yet still i ask
and still you do not answer
why do you read me
if you do not love me?
ha ha

king lear with his daughters
snow white and rose red
sister lover
peas in a ipod
yeah sweden
yeah
im just not a mono zygotic kinda guy
yeah the pine trees
yeah the long evenings
yeah the vikings
yeah the neutrality
yeah the swedish language
yeah the nobel prize
yeah volvo n abba
yeah but no fjords (thats norway)
yeah the venice of the north
yeah snow and ice
yeah the blondes
yeah the blue eyes and skies
yeah sweden not switzerland
dont mix em up
sweden pop 9 million
currency : the swedish crown
700 hundred crowns (kronor) for a hundred yanqui dollars
capital stockholm (island of logs)
pop 1.5 million
hennes n mauritz
eriksson phones
saab stories
the archipelago baby
the summer houses
the moose
the weasels
the mosquitoes
the adders
the song birds
the dark long winters
the austerity at the heart of the olde days
ingmar bergman….the weird summer light
the seventh seal
carolinska institute
max von shadow
benny and bjorn
schnapps
faaaan
yeah august strindberg
life is a dream play
yeah odin n asgard
yeah thor n loki
yeah the polar circle
yeah lappland
yeah reindeer
yeah fishing thru a hole in the ice
yeah hammarby
yeah sodermalm
yeah malmo
yeah martin kraal (my name is neo not andersson)
yeah all them dead junkies
yeah all them olde hippies n commies
yeah the baltic sea
yeah arlanda airport
yeah tack sa mycket
yeah hej hej hej
c’mon
its sweden baby
can you dig it?
can you handle it ?
can you handle 4 hours of pale daylight
can you handle the cold brown lakes
can you handle the still morning mists
can you handle the right wing aryans
can you handle the 20 dollar baguettes
can you handle yourself with grace n dignity
yeah the prime minister olaf palme got assassinated
linger on yer pale blue eyes
oh my lovely daughters
what a lucky man
oh those cheekbones
oh those piercing eyes
oh that youth n glamour
bi lingual
buy now pay later
buy one pay for two
ah twins
one egg one sperm
it splits, right
a fluke
an accident
no one knows why
identical dna
identical in all but finger prints
not identical in mind or nature
where does this variation come from
yeah they do a lotta experiments with twins
yeah thats a good control
fascinating isnt it ?
wouldnt you love to have been a twin
one in a hundred births identical twins
like winning some kinda lottery
like winning some kinda prize
never alone…even in the womb
jostling for a position
who was born first
who is the good one
who is the naughty one
who are you
which one are you
are you elli
no im minna
are you minna
no im elli
cant you tell us apart
did your mother dress you in the same clothes
can you feel the others pain
can you read their mind
can you dig this crazy twin trip
all you singletons
all you one offs
all you only childs
elektra and miranda
agamemnon n prospero
the overbearing father
the king and the magician
men leer at lears daughters
many men
double yer money back guarantee
double yer chances
double yer double six
double or nothing
yeah scanda fucking navia
will you ever come here
will you ever see all this
will you ever grok it all, childe
me….i’m just the carrier of the chromosomes
me…i’m just some olde rocker with 2 sets of twins
i dont do things by halves
except in scarlet kilbey
who is twice as large as life on her own
the world couldnt contain 2 scarlets anyway
thank the lord she arrived as a single kiddo
surrounded by the stars
i am lucky
i am blessed
more than i deserve
more than i asked for
more than i can say
thats it aint it?
what more can i say
fascinating, is it?
its my life
my day equals your night
my year equals your 52 weeks
my children
mina barn
mes enfants terribles
my smorgasbord
my ombudsman
my sweden
my twins
my other twins
my lovely yanqui wife
my velvety voice
my springy knees
my thirty year old rock band
my hit single
my my my
who am i?
steve to you
steven to my family
daddy to my kids
that guy who owes us fifty grande to the tax-mann
that guy walking round bondi with all those girls
that guy with the shorts …he looks like a beachlayer/brick-comber
gee hes prolific
gee hes lived an “interesting” life
yoga heroin show biz twins sydney stockholm delaware
music n painting n hanging about
takes from the rich n gives the poor himself
gives it all back in lyrics n musical notes
books of poetry
exhibitions and gigs and a night in a nyc jail
a dopey olde pothead
loved by his fiendss
reviled by his detractors
a rude kind brilliant dull man
now hes fat
now hes thin
now hes young
now hes old
now hes back
now hes gone
who am i?
i am who you say i am

me n minna again

sleep like the dead
wake up n feel fucking awful
depressed a little anxious n achey
i do my long overdue washing in the basement with minna
minna who is more like her mother goes out of her way
to make me feel comfortable n feel welcome
elli who is more like me is casual n aloof
oh i want to hold her and be her dad so badly
but her demeanour does not encourage it
she is something like a swedish 18 year old me in spades in some ways
both girls are unbelievably gorgeous
graceful slender and with lovely accents
minna talks too fast…she always has
people say she is new york n elli is l.a.
one can see the validity in that
i havent seen either of them for a year
how strange….
i saw my dad everyday
neither of them are particularly interested in my music
or in my touring
or in my “fame”
minna vaguely complains (in a lighthearted way)
about church fans contacting her on her facebook n myspace
if youre thinking about it
you’ll get short shrift from em
especially elli i would imagine
who already seems to have that certain weariness
that some beautiful girls/women carry
theyve already heard it all before
and they dont wanna chat about their old man
i tell you truly
they are no more interested in the church
than i was interested in “les kilbeys service”
and they quickly tune out if i talk about it
minna shows me a new program called spotify
which enables you to listen to almost any song you can think of
but not download
we listen to some old supremes n bee gees etc
minna n i and an australian friend of theirs staying here
go out to see a photo exhibition on one of the islands
a huge yacht sails under a bridge as we walk over
people lie on the deck suntanning n drinking
i yell out
“hey, hows the recession going?”…but no one except me laughs
we stop in kungstradgarden for sandwiches n juice
and the kids quiz me about my misadventures with drugs
i tell em
DONT TAKE ANYTHING!
sadly both elli n minna smoke cigarettes
i seem powerless to dissuade them
so i just have to live with it i guess
but….how fucking stupid…..smoking…sigh
all my kids do well at school n i’m very proud of them
i’m sure they will have bright futures
if the tertiary life is what they want
i havent been the best dad…ha ha..what an understatement
to you lot
who read my blog
im some mercurial songwriting bohemian geezer
to my kids
i’m an olde broke hippy
they see once in a blue moon
well you reap what you sow
and i guess this is what ive sown
yes
i reckon they will ” come around ” eventually
but karin raised these kids on her own (and her husband gorm)
(who is a very cool bloke!)
and the girls treat me with some caution
they are immersed in fashion n texting n goss mags etc
i see in the latest swedish goss mag
that beckham is now rooting angie jolie
THEY WISH!!
the two greatest goss royal fambleys colliding…
???
nah…i dont believe it…
a thousand goss mag editors must be in paroxysms of delight
now we need obama to run off with camilla parkyer-bowels
and all hell will break loose
in aust little evie starr is throwing off the flu
but the others getting it
i fear for my wife n lil sk
I COULD NOT BEAR TO LOSE THEM!!!
i hope that they can get thru this till i get home
in just over a week
i’m not missing touring at all
in fact i am so sleep deprived
it was a relief to stop
i had been sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night
sometimes less
and a crazy fucked up brain like mine needs its respite
stockholm is a wonderful city in summer
its denizens are seemingly wealthy n healthy
and many of the men n women are statuesque n good looking
the food is shockingly expensive
i pay 20 u.s. dollars for a tomato roll (i chucked the cheese away)
and a bottle orange juice
20 dollars!!!!
how do they afford it…?
the city is quite empty (and the crystal burns)
and i hope to visit their summer house
almost all swedes have a summer house
and believe me
summer in the country or in the islands here is idyllic
if only there was no winter n summer was not so short…
but thats like life aint it?
and thats like kilbey too
always wanting the easy without the hard, isnt it?
the tour already seems an eon ago in my mind
in australia
i am doing another kev carmody gig in brisbane
a benefit in melbourne for my dear friend sam sejavka
and then the choich do some acc gigs round newcastle
(hey david.r..i bet i can getcha front row seats
if the ATO aint slung me in jail first)
then some proper shows round chrissy
…in adelaide and perth too…!
meanwhile we have” down to the cardboard” in the wings
a project marty n jorden brebach finished off
a mysterious “krautrock instr. album”
you may have heard bits n pieces slyly played before n after our gigs
marty watching me listening “steve…whats this?”
me : “i dunno …but its fucking good, man”
marty with smirk ” its “down to the cardboard”
i look forward to hearing the whole thing…
yes yes
we also have hours n hours of live footage
surely one day a new live dvd will emerge
but dont ask me when
not my department…
it may surprise you all to know
i do not call all the shots
but i dont
n i gotta shrug n say
i dunno
when asked bout this n that

ok
a few things
will the people who said they have” a christmas story” contact my gmail
there it is at the top of the page
i will give you instructions on where to send it (i’ll barter something)
dont send stuff to karmic hit for me thanks

second
dont forget about the boxed set
its available at my art web site
thats just on yer right there
it contains a cd of me raving on blogg-style
against instrumental music
and 19 high quality prints from my pittsburgh exhibition
strictly strictly limited
kudos to holly who hand assembles them n who actually
put the whole thing together
kudos again to kim c-h who did the graphics
if you like my bloggs
n you wanna hear me ranting n carrying on
this is an item for you

third
no use writing nasty stuff
i’m not printing it
I’M NOT EVEN READING IT>>>SO DONT BOTHER
first bit of unconstructive bullshit and bang
i hit delete
i cant handle it
so go bother bono…eh?

as for the rest
i dont know how i feel
i go up n down
n round n round
i wonder when i’ll finally grow up….if ever
thats it for today
its 12 30 at night here in sweden
no midnight sun
but lovely warm weather
a fine fine evening
i drop round n visit my old friend mark
who i only known for thirty years
hopefully catch up with martin k tomorrow or soon

ok my fiendss
from the venice of the north
(thats stockholm, you fools)
much love
sk

me n minna

arrived in sweden
u.s. airways : terrible
terrible food
terrible conditions
terrible flight

elli has pneumonia
minna n i have quorn cutlets for dinner
we walk around
so tired
i could sleep n sleep for weeks n weeks

weather is nice
stockholm is beautiful
but i am so weary now
thats it for today i guess
long blog tomorrow
love
sk

arrive in ny
ring nk
she says evie possibly maybe has swine flu
oh no
feel so worried
beside myself
2 people die in nsw just today
please lord vishnu
protect and preserve my family
i entreat you
sk ny
12 30

darkness falls
we drive to nyc
its 921 at night
its about 70 degrees
peter k is driving
i ate a baked potato for dinner plus cole slaw
the baked beans had ham in em….
my glasses are slightly busted
thats why theyre crooked
trucks rush by us in a whoosh
ulster service area
sunoco
starbucks
its cold in here
i should be home in the warmth of my home
should be sitting in my room
waiting for nk
should be in my studio painting
should be on by now…
we bump on
hard to type under bumpy conditions
more later

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driving to nyc
about 3 hours out
just leaving albany
where we picked up our trailer
will stop soon for food and fuel
morale ok…
grooms rd
waterford
crescent
vischer ferry

park n ride
halfmoon
exit 40 mph
town of clifton park
cobble pond farms
instant games
coors light 30 packs 20 .99
atm
soups salads subs snacks
ez pay only
ramp 35 mph
lane ends 1/4 mile
we speed on into the late afternoon
or is it early evening
tonite peter n i crashing at andy le gooses
in little italy
we cruise down the verdant beltways
more later

back in the usa baby
yeah
blogging live from a van speeding down the road
ooh i get vertigo writing n moving
i soul oscillating
i firmament bridge
i toll collector
i fellow traveller czech
i mossy station
no mr you wanted plattsburgh
its about five miles back that way
this is the end of this tour
the last ride
the end of this story
and the beginning of all others
corridor of trees
we drive towards green hills
and blue mountains
my last day in america for a while
port kent
ausable chasm
camping exit 35
food exit 35
gas exit 35
peru exit 35
bear swamp road
south 87
adopt a highway
(maybe you should just start with a path
work yer way up to a highway)
avalon cars
mysterious little green signs with just numbers
ausable forks
lake placid
exit 34
whiteface mountain
all-america city
keeseville
exit 25 mph
road work
essex county
augur lake road (wow thATS GOOD)

augur lake road
where you never showed
well i shoulda knowed
on augur lake road
augur lake road
well i’ll be blowed
my head explodes
on augur lake road

a beautiful land think with the greenest trees
pines n trees i dont know
i dont know my american trees
but theyre magnificent
yeah
sure
what do i feel?
i dunno
hysterically happy then sad that its over
on my own tomorrow
just like a big boy
no more comfort in the bosom of a little gang
on my own
my oh my own
my own my oh my
hyde road
such gorgeous country
white houses in green fields
it could be scandanavia
but the air is ominous
the sky is grey and heavy
i the stranger is leaving
i tomorrow gone
in transit
disappeared in a tin tube portal
reappear in sweden next day
meet the twillies
see the difference between 17 n 18
westport
see a cosy house nestled in some trees
why couldnt i live there
oblivious of kilbey
who drives me mad
voice in another room : ah but then you wouldnt have nk…
slower traffic keep right
suddenly guilty for past thefts
everything affects me
i am superstitious
i am cautious in all things
no u turn
blue mountains
white clouds
dense foliiage
more later
sk

flying along in a van in quebec
if this is summer bebe
i hate to see winter
so we shoot along the road
the sky is ominous
the vegetation is lush and green
buildings posts wires buses motels
restaurants sheds complexes
flags trucks trees weeds rails
clouds birds fences
and plenty o road
road forever n ever
king road
we hurtle onwards thru a pale green blur
i can sit here
and still post my blog
this wonderful awful technology
wheres captain kirk
we already surpassed you
and we dont have all them coloured lights
the fields pass by
corn in the sun
sulky little brooks
languid rivers
a big big world
crows in the cold summer sky
yes its cold
im cold
here in this van the summer is bleak n grey
i sit wrapped in a blanket
a frail old so n so
a veteran of the rocknroll wars
the signs say travaux
region touristique
oest saint-nazaire
birds of prey flap overhead
becoming sleepy
more later

yeah i sit here
who who who am i…
who hoo boo kay
i go down on roof top for refreshments
i purchase a soy latte after much l’argy-bargy francais
guys get over it n speak english
they act like its the first time they ever smelt the blood
of an englishman
10 hour drive to new yorky
the van i travel/drive in today has internet
maybe i can update this blog as i go
down the road
a live travellin’ blog
as i ramble ramble skip n stumble
i fall i walk tall
life makes us all crawl
sooner or later
over the gate across the wall
i see the maisons n malls
i see the mile after kilometre after inch after dust
i remember the cans and the broken bottles
the old newspapers
ive read them all
im in them all
a child in a pram looks up n sees me on a bridge
will he remember me as a shadow when i have joined the dead
i pack up my belongings this hotel womb
i born i die every day
i see my children come into this world in wonder
i’m in awe of my wife who keeps me fascinated with her
even after 11 years
my daughter scarlet is some crazy joker with liz taylors looks
shes bad to the bone
all your humble scribes nastiest naughtiest inclinations
there it is all bundled up as lil sk
to carry on my blurred crusade…against what..
against not trying to make this world a more interesting place
theres a lot going on here
hey you should visit here
we got miracles and ghosts and invisibility
we got anything you want or cant see
i’m gonna do it
do it from wealth
do it from poverty
did it when young
did it when old
did it me
did it you
my fambley is pretty good
i dont really have to go far for entertainment
my house is usually vibrant with their racquet
my kids are kind to me
i appreciate that
eve and aurora hate to disappoint me
and usually they dont
they are polite and considerate
and everybodys happy to see em
i speak on phone to them
i tell scarlet i’ll be home soon
yeah dad she says like a weary voter
whos heard all the promises before
eve n aurora get on the phone to ask for small gifts
aurora wants a dvd of a christmas story an american film
you cant get it in aust apparently
eve wants some more of these little rubber things
go on the top of pencils
BELL RINGS
oh uh
time to go
more from road later