The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

baton rouged

well thats basically that

the tour is over except for SXSW

which isn’t really a gig at all

i am sitting here on the bus in baton rouge

on one side is a fancy hotel

and on the other is a forest or something

the weather is warm and overcast

the weather implies many things to me

warm southern romantic weather or violent weather

around me in this place i pick up on activity

somewhere something is definitely happening

but where i am is warm quiet and uneventful

i am the dim receiver

impressions of other lives wash over me

things that don’t concern me and never will

it is a typical place at the end of a tour

the empty parking lot

the garbage at the edges of the woods

i drink down some spare tincture left on the bus

i wander to a mall and i get a massage from a chinese girl

i enter some other blissful universe that i never want to end

i meet wonderful people in my dreams and wander the skies

when i snap out of it i realise ian has had a massage there  too

and he was also transported elsewhere by the experience

yeah the tour is almost over except for these austin dates

one minute its all before ya

next minute its all in the past

all that noise and heat and sweat and light

all those people

all those mornings with all those coffees

at the end i astonished myself with the energy i could muster

i guess thats thanks to yoga and swimming

i am able to channel some source of mojo

which kicks my ass along all night as i play n sing for 2 hours

its getting darker outside now in baton rouge

and i think off so many other tours

so many other people and many of them now are gone

the times are gone

many of the places are gone

i am still out there treading the boards

but every thing else is changed

rocknroll rocknroll rocknroll

the weird ghosts and the memories

all these times all these tours all these events

but nothing waits out there for me tonight

that is a comfort and a shame

i am out of the game

although very much still a player of song

going from town to town

down the blackened tourbus corridor like a submarine

as we shoot through the greenish snow in the wee wee small hours

as we pick up and lose friends

as we cover great spaces asleep in the jarring blankness of the bunk

the shows are predictably a blur

new york atlanta wherever you like

i bestrode the stage and i gave it my all

so there is nothing more to say about those shows

they speak for themselves no doubt

or not at all

its 707 in Baton Rouge

we leave this car park in 8 hours

i love you all

i guess some yoga must be next

distant tyranny

washington and philly

we slew em

good crowds and great reaction

people saying we never sounded better

a guy whose seen us 150 times says we are at our best now

some little idiot puts up a video of ian fluffing a bit of reptile

and all the naysayers jump in

the same old little crowd

you know its possible to like the church as we are now

and to like MWP and whatever he does next

the 2 are not mutually exclusive

but the bitches gotta bitch…

ok well it was this way or nothing

i think our rave reviews and sell out shows have justified my decision

to carry on with ian

he’s doing a fucking incredible job

if you have a fucking beef with that

come backstage and tell me why that is

if you got the guts

I’m sorry you thought the band was over without MWP

but you were wrong

he is an incredible musician but we are an incredible band even without him

i have not spoken to him since he left with not a word

i respect his decision to leave

i love this man and i wish him the success he deserves

a rockin’ guitarist and a fountain of knowledge about music

you do not have to choose between us

you could have liked us both

but when you tell me i can’t continue with my band

that peter and i founded at least 6 months before we even met MWP

music and feeling peter and i have been working together since we were teens

i aint gonna walk away from this because someone else didn’t wanna do it anymore

that was his right

that was his prerogative

but if you believed he was the engine of the church’s music

you got it wrong

he was a quarter of it and now he’s gone we got a new quarter

personally we all dig our new quarter

we like him

we like his playing

we are actually very happy he is in our band

he is now one of us

man you gotta keep moving on

more songs

more tours

and more players if players drop out

i been speaking backstage with doctors and lawyers

and space aeronautical engineers

i been speaking with teenage kids and housewives

I’ve been speaking with many of our US constituents

and they have re-affirmed my confidence in this, my life’s work

my whole life leads up to everyone of these shows

and if you see us you will be amazed by what we put into this

because its everything we have

we love what we do

we love our audiences who believe in us

its an incredible loop

their love and their belief fills my old body every night i go onstage

i feel like i’m 14

better actually

i never had so much energy at 14

i am channelling their appreciation straight into my heart

where it pumps the rocknroll enzyme all over me

and the pain n doubt n tiredness n age

are totally nullified

with my bass guitar my wand my staff my trusty trident

for 2 hours i am oblivious to everything outside the room

yes like a vampire i suck the audiences energy

and i turn it back into music

without them i am just an old stupid geezer with a guitar

(come and see our shambolic soundchecks and rehearsals)

but once the people are in the room

the magic thing happens

oh bring it on i am addicted!

maybe its narcissism i wouldn’t doubt it

it definitely started there

last night a guy tells me

i am like an opera singer in my mannerisms

yes yes

exactly

a totally fucked up opera singer

and i sing my operas about this strange life we all having

at the back of every song is love

just like john lennon used to say

love love love

my job simultaneously humbles me and elevates me

its confusing

i am confused

i make mistakes

i forget the words and notes

i do and i say silly things

but i love my audience

i love our music

it has been an honour to spend 35 fucking years with y’all

i’m serious

no irony here now

thank you all

ps still on my mad alex chilton thing

cannot stop thinking about him

and listening to his records

sk boston 11 march 15

a new bus in a new town

Chicago Cleveland Cincinnati

we swim thru these cities

playing our music

nudging the songs on in to the future

whats it like, kilbo ?

asks a voice in an other room

you fucking lil superstar

you over the top over the hill

over the moon

thrum thrum thrum

deadpan them droll lyrics

wiggle your old hippy hips

oh moses you knows the power and the glory

tonite its always tonite

oh you lock in you lock in you locking in

a black poet on the street raps a poem to me

i give him a fiver

he says i just wanna eat something man

his poem is strange and hypnotic

everyone on this street knows my name

then

a woman jumps up on stage tackling me and wont let me go

i hold up my arms to indicate i’m not holding the ball

one of the road crew gets her off eventually

she’s saying something in my ear over the din of the music

i’m aware of how wet and sweaty i am as we come apart

in cleveland 3 attractive women are getting it on down the front

touching each other and stuff

giggling and that kind of thing

a lot of people in the cleveland audience making out and all that

people smoking weed at various gigs in the crowd

oh a hotel room too with a soft bed

starbucks coffee in a mall somewhere

people stare at us with our outlandish accents

we listen to 3 big star albums in a row

i read my alex chilton book

i walk in a bar and the box tops are playing

i look at snowy america go by

i go onstage and i rock n roll

i shout out this stuff i sing

blam bang wallop yeah crash

USA tour ok alright!

next?

chicago chicago

yeah rawk baybee rawk

fuck yeah hell yeah and

whatever you like

minny-apolis last night my fools

great vegan huevos rancheros at a hippy joint round the corner

went back there for supper after show and had a TLT sanger

thats tempeh lettuce tomato with vegan mayo

and a barley soup!

the place was called the last days cafe

the show in minny was good

they caught on to us back in 84

4 years before most of the rest of america

we still got the connection my people

a good show

some transcendental moments

the crowds seem to digging it

i do yoga in a dressing room that gradually starts to freeze

because of a thermostat in the main room cooling down

as venue filled up with punters

so eventually i’m doing my shoulder stand

and my feet are fucking freezing

after show we climb in our bunks and we slip n slide down a snowy highway

now we are parked on street outside gig

its the no hotel tour and fuck it i aint doing this again

i need a fucking hotel room . i need a shower. i need some privacy

at sixty being a part of this travelling bunch of comedians and tragedians is a bit much

like the boy scouts on a camping trip

we never get away from each other that much

i love playing but its hard to sublimate myself in the rank n file

all i ask is a quiet room n a hot shower

all i ask is sumptuous vegan food and adoring friends

all i ask is a castle in dalmatia and maybe a small tropical isle

all i ask is obedience wealth and honours

could i be made a knight for fucks sake?

before they do away with knighthoods altogether.

couldn’t i be king for the day?

can’t i be young again?

can’t someone bring ian haug some fucking vegemite from somewhere?

this is a bizarre and random life

i am half genius half idiot

i have cold and damp feet

i got given a pair of new boots as part of a promo

i am recording with garage band down back of bus

my daughters are playing in america in a few months

my daughters are all beautiful and all have big hearts

this area of chicago used to be goth now its hipster

i miss sydney and its mild climes and its laconic people

i miss my local sea pool and my local cafe

i miss my friends and my anemones

i miss my little woofle too but we Skype a bit

and she loves to play with the emoticons

snow and sunshine here in chicago

the temperature is freezing in celsius and fahrenheit whichever way

the food in america is very eggy meaty and stodgy

except for the rare amazing cafe here n there

so typical US. the best is the best

and the worst is the worst.

i love our american fans too

they get us and they get us good

they understand

they understand this may be our last time around

any time could be

but its a miracle we get here at all ever

its a fragile thing

the audience last night was fantastic

it made me feel like showing off

the band plaid grate

we are fucking good aint we?

or not.

sometimes yes sometimes no

colorado stash running low

bring jazz and vegemite

and bring your love n faith n belief

you have believed in us

we will believe in you

cold n tired n dirty n unshaved

but willing to fucking rock

even tho its sending me deaf and broke

lifes a joke

i love you

from a bus in the windy city

your ever so ‘umble ‘ero

killbee

alights on the platform
in his usual uniform

this is a tough tour

we sleep on the bus no hotel rooms mostly

its snowing and forlorn in nebraska

(someone cue the boss please)

tim and i walk about and find a starbucks

the cold outside would freeze you quickly

lucky to have our nice warm bus

the shows are going well

i suppose

people disagree about how many new and old songs we should have

everyone has an opinion of course and so they should

i buy some legal products in aspen colorado

seems a civilised way to do things

one did not observe the fall of civilisation because one could buy weed

in fact it seemed like a pretty peaceful town as did denver

the gig in aspen was a bad reaction as far as US audiences go

probably one of the worst we ever had

they were just random skiers going to see whoever was on that night

a few fans but mostly just random punters

next night in denver gig is much bigger and better

outside you step out of theatre into silent swirling snow

someone gave us a mediocre review although she said i was “shamanic”

boy that word gets tossed around a bit

i guess its de rigeur for pop singers to be shamanic so there you go

its better than not being shamanic isn’t it?

who wrote all these rules i wonder?

i sit in back of bus ‘aving a smoke as usual

writing a blog on a lappy

whatever you groovers

i can’t tell anymore if its brilliant or rubbish or meh

any of it

not today anyway anymore

at 2am we shall depart this carpark for the sunny tropicals of Minneapolis

where we have lunchtime radio show

it doesn’t feel very shamanic here in this frosty and foreboding place

a cold dry wind moves across the prairies baby

someone commented oh he always moans about touring

but it affects me…am i allowed to say that?

if anyone thinks this is easy…

its not hard yakka in the trad sense

but for a thin skinned old fool like moi its taxing

i hope you think its all been worth it if you see us play

otherwise..

utah sword

after san diego we drive all night

drop off a guy in vegas

now we are in st george utah

we are waiting till 4am to drive on to aspen colorado

tim and i found a hipster coffee joint

i had a vegan wrap. small mercies exist.

now its rainy . sitting on bus ready to go

reading a book about alex chilton

myself feeling disconnected

dislocated

discombobulated

discontented too i guess

we are in the middle of nowhere it feels like

i made a girl blush in a supermarket blush with my accent

people in restaurants are questioning me and haugie where we come from

i do yoga in a day room

its a long long day

in a long long life

gotta keep track of everything

a night off for my sore fingers and throat

gonna read some more now folks

lotsa love

kilbey

san diego parked outside gig

yeah we rock n we roll

whatever the fuck that means

i spend yesterday round at greg d’s house in LA

oh man what a beautiful serene pad

cactuses and trees

how very nice and civilised in that quiet street

oh yeah i could live there very easily

a haven from the madness that is only a few minutes away

the gig at the el rey is perplexing

we have some trouble somehow

the A notes seem to go nowhere from the bass  guitar

they seem snatched away by some acoustic gremlin

a few nights before it had been the opposite

the A notes had been booming like blooming muthas

whatever i don’t know

today i am in san diego

gig looks too small for us to me

i am but a soldier in the rocknroll wars

very good attendance at el rey

and a great crowd

we nearly transcended but not quite

why was that?

its strange but i don’t know

theres still a lot of unknown variables

its hard to get it perfect

still sometimes it happens

love from kilbey here wherever the fuck i am

san diego go go