to oh oh sycks

big dealthe big 6does it feel any different?nope.maybe a bit quieterbut nuthin’s changedof course nothow would it?why would it?a brand new daya clean slatea new leafstart all over with youinner walls vanishbright surrounding hoverthe future is tomorrowthis is a holy daythat can placate timewe may remain here indefinitelyor leave at oncedont worrybout him or heroh, did they say somethin’ nassty about ya?it all comes rebounding backso they jus’ took care of themselvesi cant believeits all turned out like thisafter the sacfrificesafter the great leapsafter the understandingaetheist science got the bluesyou believe the stuffand they believe in themselvesvishnu waiting patientlyfilling up the cosmosa tiny pointwhat are you enjoined to do?not muchenjoymentappreciationyeah maybereleasedefinitelyyoull never understand duringyou have to turn some cornersyou have to try a littleyou have to hatch outbut only w/ a struggleim the same as youmaybe had the luxury of more timeto thinkabout it allbut thats it…sometimes realizationis this closebut todayits across a huge continentwhere i dont really always wanna gothere is more to thisthan meets the eyei dont know my way eitherbut we can walk along togetheri got a strange feelingthat there is somethingso sublimegoing on at the bottom of all thisthat its gonna keep you enthralledfor at least eternityit aint gonna force itself on youit aint gonna be easy eitherthats the one thingi am sure ofwe gonna have togive up controlwe gotta make some decisionsbangwe gotta stop poking aroundin the puddleswhen we couldve swam thru the seayou know what im sayingmy olde fruit?we still have musicwe still have some love leftsurely we are on the pathsomewhereits january onewhat does that meanhow are yer resolutionsso far?have you already saidfuck itand gone back to ye olde badde waysyoure only human my young friendgive everyone a breakforget your little selfexpandextenddemand some Goode rock n rollturn off the tvdont believe emwhen ya […]

big deal
the big 6
does it feel any different?
nope.
maybe a bit quieter
but nuthin’s changed
of course not
how would it?
why would it?
a brand new day
a clean slate
a new leaf
start all over with you
inner walls vanish
bright surrounding hover
the future is tomorrow
this is a holy day
that can placate time
we may remain here indefinitely
or leave at once
dont worry
bout him or her
oh, did they say somethin’ nassty
about ya?
it all comes rebounding back
so they jus’ took care of themselves
i cant believe
its all turned out like this
after the sacfrifices
after the great leaps
after the understanding
aetheist science got the blues
you believe the stuff
and they believe in themselves
vishnu waiting patiently
filling up the cosmos
a tiny point
what are you enjoined to do?
not much
enjoyment
appreciation
yeah maybe
release
definitely
youll never understand during
you have to turn some corners
you have to try a little
you have to hatch out
but only w/ a struggle
im the same as you
maybe had the luxury
of more time
to think
about it all
but thats it…
sometimes realization
is this close
but today
its across a huge continent
where i dont really always wanna go
there is more to this
than meets the eye
i dont know my way either
but we can walk along together
i got a strange feeling
that there is something
so sublime
going on at the bottom
of all this
that its gonna keep you enthralled
for at least eternity
it aint gonna force itself on you
it aint gonna be easy either
thats the one thing
i am sure of
we gonna have to
give up control
we gotta make some decisions
bang
we gotta stop poking around
in the puddles
when we couldve swam thru the sea
you know what im saying
my olde fruit
?
we still have music
we still have some love left
surely we are on the path
somewhere
its january one
what does that mean
how are yer resolutions
so far?
have you already said
fuck it
and gone back to ye olde badde ways
youre only human
my young friend
give everyone a break
forget your little self
expand
extend
demand some Goode rock n roll
turn off the tv
dont believe em
when ya know theyre lying
dont go “straight”
you gotta keep the wolvies
from the door
i know
but not the “straight” way
we could already see
when we were kids
that the “straight” way
is not the only way
being a bohemian
means not going along with
the false jollity
fuck your tinsel hollywood
i want a fucking forest
take those gossip rags
and draw a fucking moustache on
paris hiltin’
go on
it makes ya feel great
dont let em tell ya
that bunch is having a great time
COS THEY AINT
look at elvis
or marilyn
or mariah carey
they got everything
whats wrong w/ those people?
if you had all that stuff
you’d be happy
wouldnt ya?
but it does nae work
we try to make it
but it doesnt
you can try and make a torch shine
but it wont if its battery is dead
all im asking you to do
is….
laugh
at us
at ourselves, of course
but at them
the guys who organised the witchtrials
the bright spark who dreampt up the inquisition
lets have a round of applause
for the bomb inventors
for the whale research boys
for that goode “straight” manne
who diligently came up with
napalm
mr hitler….
nice work
he actually killed off his bohemians
such was the perceived threat to his “straight”
world
theres a ton o’ guys deserved to be mentioned here
the guys who justified
bunker bombing baghdad
to get those naughty hussein boys
“sorry bout yer neighbourhood dude
but these guys have gotta die”
to all the fucking polly tishans
theyre all fucked
you know it
they know it
always the worst types
you really telling me
in all this country
they couldnt come up with someone
more honourable
more intelligent
more inspiring
more admirable
THAN THAT?
and him
our ones master
sauron without the charisma
and heart
fuck it
ladies and gents
if youre looking to these people for guidance
THE INSULT TO OUR INTELLIGENCE
IS BLATANT!!
NOW I ASK YOU
TO JOIN ME
IN LAUGHING OUT LOUD
thats why
when it comes to choosing
a philosophy
i say
make mine bohemian*
lemme have mah faith
lemme have mah doubts
im sorry
but i dont believe i am just
a evolved monkey
and none of this matters.
this is not my experience
thass why i sing my songs baybee
there just stabs in the limitless dark
theyre not about anything, child
they are some sort of question
i dunno what im doing
thats pretty obvious, olde beane
dont give up
if you just laugh at it all tho
see the fuckin hoax
for what it is
you say
that may be so, mister “straight”
tax me
fine me
send me to your fuckin war
but dont ask me to stop laughing
the “straights” are a fucking joke
theyve fucked this planet
they still are
and we stand back
and we let em
cos theyve got the power
but NO glory
fuck em
join me
this year
and everytime
you come face to face
with a fucking “straight”
laugh
i know
im gonna

happy new year fiendss
im gonna keep going in o6
sk
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
*the term bohemian is trademark reg
the steve kibey corporation
any undue use or unauthorised sampling
may result in persecuton.

hippy gnu rear

uh….good morningmy name is dennis ego-swynei now manage mr……(whats that bastards name….suze..?)oh yesstephen kilbyi’ll be writing this blog this morningseems kilby has been on here trying to be funnywell thats all over nowwe will be using this blogsiteto tell you what what products this manhas availableand more importantlyhow you can buy em….!now i note this blog is freehmmmwe ll have to change all thatnow….i guess if you all send your credit carde detailsi’ll start processing your ordersi believe this fellowhas some great music out therewith some good catchy bitsand hummable lyricstheres a new one with an….italian titleor somethingoh suze says its spanishand its got all their greatest hitsand we’d like to sell a few millioncos my wifes little merc is acting upand i’d like to get her a lexus next yearalso kilby and bandall need extensive makeoversso they can appeal more to the kids in america(wo -o)sohave your credit card handyand we ll send youa free mr mister cd with every purchaseif youre in the ukpay in poundsif youre in new zealanddont botherthis offer only goodein mega prosperous countrieswell thatss itkilby himself wont be back till next yearhe told meto tell youthe triplets all say happy new whateverandthat a great new inter active videowill be available in 06KING BONGproduced by pam and perry m fizzeemastory of a runaway rockerwho swipes at “straights”whilst climbing corporat ladderfinally revealed as hippy with heartrecommended for the whole family(just make those little buggersclose their eyes during the violent and sexy stuff)okthings are gonna shape up round here in 06kilby got me in to make him a mega star idoland quite franklyits gonna be a long haul(i think hes washed up myself)but we signed himand now we gonna market his ass offdont just sit thereBUY SOMETHING!!only a few hours left till next yearso order nowour experienced […]

uh….
good morning
my name is dennis ego-swyne
i now manage mr……
(whats that bastards name….suze..?)
oh yes
stephen kilby
i’ll be writing this blog this morning
seems kilby has been on here trying to be funny
well thats all over now
we will be using this blogsite
to tell you what what products this man
has available
and more importantly
how you can buy em….!
now i note this blog is free
hmmm
we ll have to change all that
now….
i guess if you all send your credit carde details
i’ll start processing your orders
i believe this fellow
has some great music out there
with some good catchy bits
and hummable lyrics
theres a new one with an….italian title
or something
oh suze says its spanish
and its got all their greatest hits
and we’d like to sell a few million
cos my wifes little merc is acting up
and i’d like to get her a lexus next year
also kilby and band
all need extensive makeovers
so they can appeal more to the kids in america
(wo -o)
so
have your credit card handy
and we ll send you
a free mr mister cd with every purchase
if youre in the uk
pay in pounds
if youre in new zealand
dont bother
this offer only goode
in mega prosperous countries
well thatss it
kilby himself wont be back till next year
he told me
to tell you
the triplets all say happy new whatever
and
that a great new inter active video
will be available in 06
KING BONG
produced by pam and perry m fizzeema
story of a runaway rocker
who swipes at “straights”
whilst climbing corporat ladder
finally revealed as hippy with heart
recommended for the whole family
(just make those little buggers
close their eyes during the violent and sexy stuff)
ok
things are gonna shape up round here in 06
kilby got me in to make him a mega star idol
and quite frankly
its gonna be a long haul
(i think hes washed up myself)
but we signed him
and now we gonna market his ass off
dont just sit there
BUY SOMETHING!!
only a few hours left till next year
so order now
our experienced staff
are waiting to talk to you right now
see you in 0 six
BAYBEE

should older quaint aunts be forgot….?

there you arei always know where to find youi been thinking about ya a lotlatelythinking how niceand kindand sweetyou can bethat youre there wheni need a soldier to cry onthe way you help mefeel its ok to be me and the year has nearly gone babywere you goode this yeare…?me….?i was goode and badde..just shifting ratiosthe 3 gunas combining recombiningthe past present future exerting its triple pullus spinning round the sunthe sun spinning round its sunand that sun spinning tooin wider arcstime impenetratablespace ever receding in the distancelove, only an idealtruth pliant , relativehope for hopelife by lifeon and on the richest guy in australia just diedhis investments alone earned hima million fuckin bux a dayhe woke up each morningand he was 500 grande richerthan when he went to bedhe could have a five minute nap and buy a fender strateach second he got more than you in a daynow what…..what good did it all do…?i dunnoit must be harder to say goodbye when you got so muchharder to let golife entangles yait gives ya reasons to take it seriouslyit can turn ya “straight”my kids threw their half eaten ice cream cones down at the beacha big alpha sea gull flies downand he wants em bothhe just running between the 2 conestrying to keep the other birds awaybut not getting anything himselfwhile they gradually bit by bitpeck awaytill he has nothingleftis that a metaphor for humanity….? anywaywhere is this going…?i dunnoand i dont careit just meanders aboutlike ole man riverthese are my thoughtsas they happenaurora and i had a talkshe said sometimes she cant tell if this is a dream or notand sometimes she feels shes playing a part in a filmexistential angstthen she saidbut then, i have only been around 6 years…sometimes she sleepwalksand talks in another unknown languagewe […]

there you are
i always know where to find you
i been thinking about ya a lot
lately
thinking how nice
and kind
and sweet
you can be
that youre there when
i need a soldier to cry on
the way you help me
feel its ok to be me

and the year has nearly gone baby
were you goode this yeare…?
me….?
i was goode and badde..
just shifting ratios
the 3 gunas combining recombining
the past present future exerting its triple pull
us spinning round the sun
the sun spinning round its sun
and that sun spinning too
in wider arcs
time impenetratable
space ever receding in the distance
love, only an ideal
truth pliant , relative
hope for hope
life by life
on and on

the richest guy in australia just died
his investments alone earned him
a million fuckin bux a day
he woke up each morning
and he was 500 grande richer
than when he went to bed
he could have a five minute nap and buy a fender strat
each second he got more than you in a day
now what…..
what good did it all do…?
i dunno
it must be harder to say goodbye when you got so much
harder to let go
life entangles ya
it gives ya reasons to take it seriously
it can turn ya “straight”
my kids threw their half eaten ice cream cones down at the beach
a big alpha sea gull flies down
and he wants em both
he just running between the 2 cones
trying to keep the other birds away
but not getting anything himself
while they gradually bit by bit
peck away
till he has nothing
left
is that a metaphor for humanity….?

anyway
where is this going…?
i dunno
and i dont care
it just meanders about
like ole man river
these are my thoughts
as they happen
aurora and i had a talk
she said sometimes she cant tell if this is a dream or not
and sometimes she feels shes playing a part in a film
existential angst
then she said
but then, i have only been around 6 years…
sometimes she sleepwalks
and talks in another unknown language
we saw a mercedes today
i said look at that lovely olde car
she said oh dad
its from the 1960s
i said how did you know that?
she said i dunno
i just did….

the waves were very flat today
lots o people enjoying emselves
warm water idyllic day
so that just about wraps 2005 up
1 day to go
watch out someone nassty dont kiss ya at midnite
you gotta avoid em
put some thought in beforehand
have an escape root
dont take too any druggs
dont drink too much booze
moderation, people
dont over do it
if ya gotta drive when yer tripping or drunk
stay on the footpath
its much safer

avoid being choked by streamers
practise safe sex till you get really good at it
make sure yer dessignited driver
has only taken a half
turn up at yer neighbours place at 4 in the morning
off yer face and saying
where are all the chicks?
if people are snorting coke in the bathroom
take a piss in peru
the symmetry ll shock ya…!
if you feel like touching the hostess
and saying
you know
i know im out of it…
but ive always really fancied ya baybee
lets leave you know who behind
and hit a small hotel i know
w/ ensuites and air con
if ya feel like saying it
then just doo it, you cool jerk
if ya get in a fight
dont play clean
spray champagne in their eyes
and tie a knot in yer hanky
do ya know the words to auld lang sine
nope
fuck em then
make em up
or sing a song by MEE
at midnite
dont promise any bastard the moon
dont give any one yer number
if yer find yerself at an opus dei party
spike the punch
or punch the spike
give marijuana cookies to olde “straights”
and watch the funne
as they realise
at 12 oclock
that their whole life has been meaningless
thatll get some real laughs
if youre with fellow bohos
share yer stash graciously
and dont wee in the sink
leave the ouija board behind tho
unless you want to contact the living
if its a pool party
resist urge to jump in butt naked
itll probably
piss off the other guests
watching you climb back out
dont over do the nibblies
chippies and beer
can combine in an unstable manner
dont mix drinks
ie booze and water
dont play party games
where you reveal great chunks of yer “colourful” past
only to be interrogated on the way home
and spending jan 1 in ye olde doghouse
dont double dip
but triple is ok
if yer tripping in someones garden
climb up a tree
and threaten to fly
if you vomit in someones bathroom
let the coke snorters clean it up
if you feel dizzy
its probably just
a grande mal seizure coming on
could be a goode way to leave that dull soiree
order ten cabs
one is sure to turn up
gate crash strangers partyies
tell em sk sent ya
if they aint heard o me
you got the wrong address
if they have
you still got it wrong
invite yerself over to yer exes at midnite
to see if they kept any of yer sk cds
when ya split up
break in if theyre not there
and help yerself to whatever ya want
no one can bust ya
its NYE baybee
so
BEWARE

sk

blogged down in a hot swamp

sunburntyesi amtoo much sunburn baby burnoooh touchy touchyah dont pat my back manaloe veracalamine lotionhow did this happen to meee? was talking to rpk bout surfieswhat a concepti had ambitions to be a surfiewith a small hitch that i couldnae actually surfbut the lifestyle certainly appealed to the 17 year olde mea couple o kids dropped outta our high schooldisappearedturned up 6 months laterjesusbrown as berrieshair turned into blond straw(which i personally thought was amazing)faded cool clothes…levi cordsa houndstooth flannel shirtthongsand they drove and lived in panel vansthey parked next to beachesate vegeburgers and chipsslept in the vanpulled loads of ye olde style surfie gurlssand generally had this zen airof indifference to the tawdry proto- “straight” lives of all of us still at the schoolywowi envied those guysthey were like the wild bunchbreakin the lawtakin dangerous risksin every conceivable mannah….!i dont think many made it thru alive…they lived outsyde the normsthey interpretated the greene currents and swellsthey knocked up pretty gurlss in black van darknessthey roamed the coasts searching for raw kicksand incredibly subtle pleasuresthey got together at nightand tripped by bonfires on the beachdawn found em still loadedhurtling across the wavesout of their tiny skullsyou seebeing a surfiewas as attractive a careerto a neophyte boholike meas being a basse weildin’ superstarboth involved no real “work”“work” is what the “straights” doi am allergic to instructionsinstruct meand you waste your timei do not follow mapscannae assemble kinder surprisesmuch to daughters dissappointmentcant follow recipescant do equationscant deduce from brochurecant read stock indexsdoesnt completely understand the rules ofrugbycricketbase and basket ballsoccercar racingvoting systemhow a car workswhy we must have warswhy we are always the goode guyswhy they are always the badde guyswhy “straights” eat meat in mauseleum mansionlistnin’ to robbie willy -amsand texting on their mobywhy bohos drink tao juice and nut cutletsin […]

sunburnt
yes
i am
too much sun
burn baby burn
oooh touchy touchy
ah dont pat my back man
aloe vera
calamine lotion
how did this happen to meee?

was talking to rpk bout surfies
what a concept
i had ambitions to be a surfie
with a small hitch that i couldnae actually surf
but the lifestyle certainly appealed to the 17 year olde me
a couple o kids dropped outta our high school
disappeared
turned up 6 months later
jesus
brown as berries
hair turned into blond straw
(which i personally thought was amazing)
faded cool clothes…levi cords
a houndstooth flannel shirt
thongs
and they drove and lived in panel vans
they parked next to beaches
ate vegeburgers and chips
slept in the van
pulled loads of ye olde style surfie gurlss
and generally had this zen air
of indifference to the tawdry proto- “straight”
lives of all of us still at the schooly
wow
i envied those guys
they were like the wild bunch
breakin the law
takin dangerous risks
in every conceivable mannah….!
i dont think many made it thru alive…
they lived outsyde the norms
they interpretated the greene currents and swells
they knocked up pretty gurlss in black van darkness
they roamed the coasts searching for raw kicks
and incredibly subtle pleasures
they got together at night
and tripped by bonfires on the beach
dawn found em still loaded
hurtling across the waves
out of their tiny skulls
you see
being a surfie
was as attractive a career
to a neophyte boho
like me
as being a basse weildin’ superstar
both involved no real “work”
“work” is what the “straights” do
i am allergic to instructions
instruct me
and you waste your time
i do not follow maps
cannae assemble kinder surprises
much to daughters dissappointment
cant follow recipes
cant do equations
cant deduce from brochure
cant read stock indexs
doesnt completely understand the rules of
rugby
cricket
base and basket ball
soccer
car racing
voting system
how a car works
why we must have wars
why we are always the goode guys
why they are always the badde guys
why “straights” eat meat in mauseleum mansion
listnin’ to robbie willy -ams
and texting on their moby
why bohos drink tao juice and nut cutlets
in their coole padde
with feng shooey
an’ everything…
how do you use a logarhythm??
beats me
how many furlongs in a fathom?
i dont recall just now
let x equal y there, kilbey!
sorry sir, i cant…
whats that boy…cant..?….cant…?
it wont go sir
i hannae fuckin idea
about this
or any other
of the arithmetrical
bullshit
you have
been spouting
this
year
sir
good lord boy, do you think you can make a living
playing your damned electric guitar…?

oh mr norris
you had it so sussed

well its certainly getting late here
flat sitting
dont expect this kinda pro liffic
when im back in the i cafes
nope
this is a little yuletide treet
for the faith full
for the thicke and thinners
for the kilbettes
and killbeeings
for the sk-crazy ladies of the knight

for pam and perry
and their parole officer timpkins
for bill
a nightmare on neptune street
yeah see ya next drought you olde shysstah
for gerald who loves fritz fernidand and podcastes
for howie in san diego who loves the crunch
for wilo leading a loverevolution in darkest vulture streets
for the lovely commenterss
who say v. nice things
appreciated my droogies
maintain the rage
fly the sk flagge
if it aint sk…send it away
be kind to yourselves
you are even now
in my heart of hearts
you grace this blogg with your presents and presence
i love thee
so much
BAYBEE!!!

a wanting wardrobe i still explore…

seriously thoi would be goode as mirazmake sure the head honchos hear about itspread the wordsk for mirazor we gonna boycott that thangim about the right agealready got a medi evil beardywith touches o whiteto signify(as miraz)authorityand severityi could be evil and cowardlyhey i could do that in my sweet sleepthen i could be sadly heroic after being tricked into fighting the youthful caspianby plotting generalsand of courselose mah lifehonourably….in the endpeopletell em im only askinga 3 digit figuretell i got the beardywill lose earrings and or suntan if nec.will cultivate oppressive mannerisms(ask other bouys in the crunch)will be autocratic and schemingsee abovewill be paranoid and self servinga massive superioty complex….what am i doing…assasinatin’ my own charactah….?cos i know you going“no skyou aint like that….you one of goode guysyer no “$traight”…are ya….?sk…..???!”well i was t’inking againthat perhaps if any “straights” reading this todaywould like to hire mein any capacitysay giving basse lessons to yer bored millionaire twinsor maybe running thru pastels and portraits:the naive and the very fucking naive,at yer local well paid arte school gigor maybe on yer board o directeursin an advisory esoteric capacity(and bohosdont worryall the squillionss i makewill be channelled directly back into the revolutionlaundered thru my bank card natchand i pledge more rehearsal roomsfor hopeless youf groupspainting lessons for people who arent interestedart appreciation classes for angry philistinessong writing courses for tone deaf oafswhod rather watch the footyballet classes for meat pie eating tilers labourerspoetry for yonder noisy bastardsand yoga for couch potatoes“get super fit and spiritual, while eating mars barsand watching dr fill”then swimming classes for hydrophobiacsorienteering for people who hate the great outdoorsfriendmaking for sociopathspathmaking for friendly pathfindershobbits basketballand all the hoopla you could imagineelect me peopleget me into somethinga filma political partya new years eve partya new years aurora partya job in […]

seriously tho
i would be goode as miraz
make sure the head honchos hear about it
spread the word
sk for miraz
or we gonna boycott that thang
im about the right age
already got a medi evil beardy
with touches o white
to signify(as miraz)
authority
and severity
i could be evil and cowardly
hey i could do that in my sweet sleep
then i could be sadly heroic
after being tricked into fighting the youthful caspian
by plotting generals
and of course
lose mah life
honourably….in the end
people
tell em im only asking
a 3 digit figure
tell i got the beardy
will lose earrings and or suntan if nec.
will cultivate oppressive mannerisms
(ask other bouys in the crunch)
will be autocratic and scheming
see above
will be paranoid and self serving
a massive superioty complex….
what am i doing…
assasinatin’ my own charactah….?
cos i know you going
“no sk
you aint like that….
you one of goode guys
yer no “$traight”…
are ya….?
sk…..???!”
well i was t’inking again
that perhaps if any “straights” reading this today
would like to hire me
in any capacity
say giving basse lessons to yer bored millionaire twins
or maybe running thru pastels and portraits:the naive and the very fucking naive,
at yer local well paid arte school gig
or maybe on yer board o directeurs
in an advisory esoteric capacity
(and bohos
dont worry
all the squillionss i make
will be channelled directly back into the revolution
laundered thru my bank card natch
and i pledge more rehearsal rooms
for hopeless youf groups
painting lessons for people who arent interested
art appreciation classes for angry philistines
song writing courses for tone deaf oafs
whod rather watch the footy
ballet classes for meat pie eating tilers labourers
poetry for yonder noisy bastards
and yoga for couch potatoes
“get super fit and spiritual, while eating mars bars
and watching dr fill”
then swimming classes for hydrophobiacs
orienteering for people who hate the great outdoors
friendmaking for sociopaths
pathmaking for friendly pathfinders
hobbits basketball
and all the hoopla you could imagine
elect me people
get me into something
a film
a political party
a new years eve party
a new years aurora party
a job in some nice office w/ goode view and swivel chair
get me some connections
use yer clout
collective and individual
i know a lotta of ya are bigwigs
marine biologists
company menne
tycoons
media fucking mogulss
whatever you are…
get me a gig
get me inne
inside the system
in clover
set up for life
make it happen for me, loyal friends
make sks welfare your nyes thingo
get me mah own ivory tower
look down at ya all from
you hoi poloi
you common rude people
get me out of obscurity in bondhemia
let me shimmy and stroll
down the corridors of powder
put me on the front page of the gossip rags
ONE SIDE OF ME EMACIATED
THE OTHER SIDE COMPLETELY OBESE!!
LEAVING A REHAB WITH CATH MOSSY AND BABY STUMBLES
GETTING HITCHED TO NICOLE WINDFREE AND KEEF URBANE
DIVORCING ELLE THE BODY DOUBLE
IN LAS VEGAS OR PARIS HILTIN’
OR BROAD PIT GOES CRAZEE IN BAHAMAS ZOO
AND MY MOTHER WAS AN ALIEN ELVISSS!!!!!
goode mourning my fans and adorers
make it happen
NOW!!!!

prince cashpeein’ and the blogscorpions from bondi

more supple a mentary blogdoes any of you legions of my fans…….(and congratulations, by the way, youre a winner!)does any of you have any connexionswith any o those bigshotssthat are gonna do tha next narnia filme….?with huge jacksonwho whatever that mannes name is….do any of you know anybodythat knows anybodywhos gonna cast that turkeycos i gotta bonus for emsk to play wicked king mirazcmon mr producerim a fucking shoe-in for that partdont get some well known pommy(oh look, gerald, they got kenny branagh playin’ miraz)dont get some yankee acta spittin ‘ hollywood dud linesand useless accentand im sorry to that mannewho wrote in to this showsaying why shouldnt the wolvies have american accents….?becausei amafter cs himselfthe one true interpretah of all things narnianI WILL DECIDEMY DECISION IS :NO. REPEAT.NO AMERICAN ACCENTS IN FUCKING NARNIANOHOW.NEVER,sorry to pull rankbutcmonim channelling lewis right nowand he wants to know….whats hollywoody gonna do about the calormeneswho worship a hideous living death bird godwho invade and enslave the anglo centric narniaand eventually bring about the end of ye olde worldethey revile aslan as a devilandpeoplelets face itthey are clearly some kinda middle eastern dudesthey are illustrated thuson narnias judgement dayall but one or twopass into shadowon aslans badde side no before ya start fussin at methere is a reason that narnia is anglo centricitsin the musicians nephewwherein the white bitch first turns upw/ black hair and snow white skinand narnias first kingyis a lunnon hansom cab driverso its only natural that they should speaklike the pommiesand/but not like the yankeesback to clive and mes other problemi cannae see the calormene thing happninwith things this sensitiveso may we recommend a substitutionin the movie, that is,of “straights” instead of calormenesthe evil “straights” who live in the desertwho come to narniakill the beastscut down the talking fucking trees, peoplesaw […]

more supple a mentary blog
does any of you legions of my fans…….
(and congratulations, by the way, youre a winner!)
does any of you have any connexions
with any o those bigshotss
that are gonna do tha next narnia filme….?
with huge jackson
who whatever that mannes name is….
do any of you know anybody
that knows anybody
whos gonna cast that turkey
cos i gotta bonus for em
sk to play wicked king miraz
cmon mr producer
im a fucking shoe-in for that part
dont get some well known pommy
(oh look, gerald, they got kenny branagh playin’ miraz)
dont get some yankee acta spittin ‘ hollywood dud lines
and useless accent
and im sorry to that manne
who wrote in to this show
saying why shouldnt the wolvies have american accents….?
because
i am
after cs himself
the one true interpretah of all things narnian
I WILL DECIDE
MY DECISION IS :
NO. REPEAT.NO AMERICAN ACCENTS IN FUCKING NARNIA
NOHOW.NEVER,
sorry to pull rank
but
cmon
im channelling lewis right now
and he wants to know….
whats hollywoody gonna do about the calormenes
who worship a hideous living death bird god
who invade and enslave the anglo centric narnia
and eventually bring about the end of ye olde worlde
they revile aslan as a devil
and
people
lets face it
they are clearly some kinda middle eastern dudes
they are illustrated thus
on narnias judgement day
all but one or two
pass into shadow
on aslans badde side

no before ya start fussin at me
there is a reason that narnia is anglo centric
itsin the musicians nephew
wherein the white bitch first turns up
w/ black hair and snow white skin
and narnias first kingy
is a lunnon hansom cab driver
so its only natural that they should speak
like the pommies
and/but not like the yankees
back to clive and mes other problem
i cannae see the calormene thing happnin
with things this sensitive
so may we recommend a substitution
in the movie, that is,
of “straights” instead of calormenes
the evil “straights” who live in the desert
who come to narnia
kill the beasts
cut down the talking fucking trees, people
saw off unihorns corns
and a load of other eville
and totally genocidal olde nasty
bollocks
and then
get cast in to ye olde abyss
FOR ETERNITY, BAYBEE
good lord
its perfect
now
onto sumpthing elsewhere
please dont use my comments for yer own blogging
i now know how to delete
and i will waste no opportunity
to send yon commento
to magnetic heaven
if i deem it not something
to do with ME
sorry
you know who you all are
don’ get me wRONg
i love ya baybee
but im a gonna delete ya
if ya over doo it again
on my little parade here…
now….
any of ya got a lil poem to write….?
yeah…..?
well dont do it here…
these comments should be
lavish praise
ore
bitterest scorne
i dinae care if you think you wanna diss mee
but no poems
blogs
incantations
memoirs
advice
recipes
cheerios
or anything else
that does nae pertain
to me right here
this sk
in front of yer screen
burning the midnight lamp
to reprimand you zealots
DONT FUCK WITH MY BLOGG
ok
thats better
look out
i got that delete button ready
dont make me do it
throw down that verbose comment
and come out
drop the mouse, mister
the jib is up
yore fucking nicked, me olde son

can i have a bag, dad…?

huge dayhuge walkfrom bondi to bronte(bronte saw us)and backwas standing in the turbulent seaand i was t’inking , sk, youre about to be clobberedwhen a huge wave rolled incarrying a large islander type manwho landed on your humbug heros headoh weirdnessfelt dizzyworld goin’ round and round(well it does that anyway.ED}whoa neddyfuzz coming down ovah mah eyesfeely shakey shakythe sun then rears its heady(itd been cloudy up till now)sk gotta lil sunstrokenot as nice as breaststrokenot even as nice as two strokeoh and howieits freakin hot downunder toniteas i walk home thru brontetamaramabondi itselfi pontificate why do i live hereits for the alleyways behind the shopsthe brick walls w/ frangipani treesthe kids playin’ in the streets at duskthe surfers…what gentlemen…the cafesthe barsthe sheer number of fuckin touriststhe bondi boheemiansy’ know whoo you arethe pavillionthe back gardensi wish that for you in the grip of dismal winteryou could feel this summer nightoh skwe all know by now howyou love a hot nitedont labour the point, you olde heatseekerbut its magic, nonethelessits insinuating so much stuffall at onceits very romantic, gurly schmaltz putits big and sexylike the end of the worldits all around uslike pranalike vishnusomething happening on nights such as thisthe music on the airnight insectsjust another night creaturestrangest featuresi wish you were all here with me right nowas ya knowim a horrendous typeand a horrendous typist tooso this is one finger agonyfor meeif ye were herei could pour my stream o consciousnessrants and ramblingsstraight to yer pineal gland baybeevia mah velvety husky voiceand mah hip knot tic grey blue eyesimparting my wishdomdirect feed, my sweetest darlingssbangnevermind all that toshpam and perry havereturned from their holidazein dopey hollowalthough skcurrently sampling some fine emergency indoor brandlooking forward to p and psusual farethe one that kicked the visitors into overdrive cruz control hang on […]

huge day
huge walk
from bondi to bronte
(bronte saw us)
and back
was standing in the turbulent sea
and i was t’inking , sk,
youre about to be clobbered
when a huge wave rolled in
carrying a large islander type man
who landed on your humbug heros head
oh weirdness
felt dizzy
world goin’ round and round
(well it does that anyway.ED}
whoa neddy
fuzz coming down ovah mah eyes
feely shakey shaky
the sun then rears its heady
(itd been cloudy up till now)
sk gotta lil sunstroke
not as nice as breaststroke
not even as nice as two stroke
oh and howie
its freakin hot downunder tonite
as i walk home thru bronte
tamarama
bondi itself
i pontificate why do i live here
its for the alleyways behind the shops
the brick walls w/ frangipani trees
the kids playin’ in the streets at dusk
the surfers…what gentlemen…
the cafes
the bars
the sheer number of fuckin tourists
the bondi boheemians
y’ know whoo you are
the pavillion
the back gardens
i wish that for you in the grip of dismal winter
you could feel this summer night
oh sk
we all know by now how
you love a hot nite
dont labour the point, you olde heatseeker
but its magic, nonetheless
its insinuating so much stuff
all at once
its very romantic, gurly schmaltz put
its big and sexy
like the end of the world
its all around us
like prana
like vishnu
something happening on nights such as this
the music on the air
night insects
just another night creature
strangest features
i wish you were all here with me right now
as ya know
im a horrendous type
and a horrendous typist too
so this is one finger agony
for mee
if ye were here
i could pour my stream o consciousness
rants and ramblings
straight to yer pineal gland baybee
via mah velvety husky voice
and mah hip knot tic grey blue eyes
imparting my wishdom
direct feed, my sweetest darlingss
bang
nevermind all that tosh
pam and perry have
returned from their holidaze
in dopey hollow
although sk
currently sampling some fine emergency indoor brand
looking forward to p and ps
usual fare
the one that kicked the visitors
into overdrive cruz control

hang on a minute!
why dontcha grow up….?
an olde hippy goin on about his weed
how scintillatin’
how cutting hedge
how fuckin’ novelle
sorry mah non inhaling flunkees
no more pot references
fuck it man
its time to fill this bloggy up
with something to inspire people
get a goode education
become coggy in yon machine
get a hills hoist
get a network of buddies
in the “straight” world
watch footy on satday and sunday
with em
while ya wife serves yas
beer and crisps
dressed in a negligee
plan holidays at time share resorts
in gated communities
so you never have to see the
fucking localss
work yer way up the corpo-rat ladder
till yer the big fat important bossy little boss
the one with a golde credit card
and a subscription to hustler
drink at the rex bar
with jimmy from work
and his mates wazza and jonesy
pick up divorcees
or belt some smaller than you little jerk
get in yer 4 wheeler
and drive home pissed
and have yer stake fuckin diane
with cholesterol gravy flavoured entrail bits
never think of the unfortunate creature
that you just ate
or of its miserable life
before it was a grey lump
in yer belly
beat the missus
if you cant maker
understand
how you abhor violence
i dunno
go to fuckin weight watchers
and pick up lonely chubbs
shave yer chest
(gurlss, this can be tricky)
swagger instead of walking
shout instead of speaking
threaten rather than communikate
you get the picture
yes folks
its the ante diluvian
anti-“straight” rap
and it has one flavour
and that is vanilla bile
and all to cover up
my guilt
at boring ya
with all that tired olde drugg lingo
so ok
we know drugg lingo
and “$traight$” are badde…
so what elsie is gnu
hmmmmmm….
what are the crunch up to?
nuthin!
solo albums?
nada
painting?
not a veggie sausage
hows scarlet?
fine, thanks
hows xmas so far?
ok
have ya hadda nuff for one knight?
uh huh…
thats it folks
go back to yer networking
keep on schmoozing
dont do anything
i wouldnt do
ha ha ha
(insert own farewell line here)
THE END

which line in which wardrobe…?

what a dayfeels like it went on for a yeartis truly a measure of my devo shunthat im even up, writing to youmy kilbeingsmy little vege sausagesmy lambsmy little bitsjust for you(CUE MUSIC) anyhow i have done a lota gig no lesswith david lane + band(i sublimate my swollen egoand just play the basse)jesusrock legends aboundlucky jim elliot from the cruel sea on drumsamanda brown from the go bes on mando and vio(robbery with violins)stevie k from ye olde choich,,,,3 livin legendson stage in bondi to a roomful of oblivious euro backpackerssand the localss who had drifted in totry to crack on to the euro backpackerssthey just talked and laughed thru laneys seteven tho we were greati looked aroundnaiive and hopefulis captain mish mash herewith one of his exotic friends?perhaps luxsoreshe of the elegant turn o fraseor maybehotroddeor maybe eventransylvanian vladwho is also a talented writahand charmingbut also prone to a hot slavic temperor something…who even told me to get fucked last time…..(and that, me dahlings,IS fucken heresy)….but nothere was no one there enjoying this feast of soundswe were sloppy but goodei personally made one very awful glaring mistakeearly ona whacking e minor runwhen i shoulda been pumping an fbelieve meits just about the worse sounding thing in the bookthe whole room slipped sidewaysin to negative space (baybee)for the duration of that howlerlaney,dock my fucking pay !i deserve itandas the brilliantly astute ones herewood have already guessedi saw banarnia the mooviegoode things :(trust me, i know my $%#$%&ing narnia, fiendss)mr tumnus…yeah pretty goodethe kidss…i liked emedmund looked like a young i mcculloughthat aint a badde thingnoi liked the kidsdidnae mind aslanscenery was goode badde thingsall the narnians had ears that looked like the beagle boystilda aint jadisshe just aintsorryhopelessthe white which didnt have blonde dreadiesshe was just….maybe im just inflewentsby […]

what a day
feels like it went on for a year
tis truly a measure of my devo shun
that im even up, writing to you
my kilbeings
my little vege sausages
my lambs
my little bits
just for you
(CUE MUSIC)

anyhow i have done a lot
a gig no less
with david lane + band
(i sublimate my swollen ego
and just play the basse)
jesus
rock legends abound
lucky jim elliot from the cruel sea on drums
amanda brown from the go bes on mando and vio
(robbery with violins)
stevie k from ye olde choich,,,,
3 livin legends
on stage in bondi to a roomful of oblivious euro backpackerss
and the localss who had drifted in to
try to crack on to the euro backpackerss
they just talked and laughed thru laneys set
even tho we were great
i looked around
naiive and hopeful
is captain mish mash here
with one of his exotic friends?
perhaps luxsore
she of the elegant turn o frase
or maybe
hotrodde
or maybe even
transylvanian vlad
who is also a talented writah
and charming
but also prone to a hot slavic temper
or something…
who even told me to get fucked last time…..
(and that, me dahlings,IS fucken heresy)….
but no
there was no one there enjoying this feast of sounds
we were sloppy but goode
i personally made one very awful glaring mistake
early on
a whacking e minor run
when i shoulda been pumping an f
believe me
its just about the worse sounding thing in the book
the whole room slipped sideways
in to negative space (baybee)
for the duration of that howler
laney,
dock my fucking pay !
i deserve it
and
as the brilliantly astute ones here
wood have already guessed
i saw banarnia the moovie
goode things :
(trust me, i know my $%#$%&ing narnia, fiendss)
mr tumnus…yeah pretty goode
the kidss…i liked em
edmund looked like a young i mccullough
that aint a badde thing
no
i liked the kids
didnae mind aslan
scenery was goode
badde things
all the narnians had ears that looked like the beagle boys
tilda aint jadis
she just aint
sorry
hopeless
the white which didnt have blonde dreadies
she was just….
maybe im just inflewents
by pauline baines excellent illustrations
but she and lewis = sir john tenniel and lewis carroll
hers is the definitive version
the wolvies all spoke in these super horrendous
yankee accents
maugrim the wolf the chief of the secret police
does not have a namerican accent
he just doesnt!!
and he doesnt jive around with the fuckin kiddies
in comic book/rambo/lethal weppon banter
hes much more sophisticated than that
the battle scenes
silly
an attempt to cash in on you know whats
big suck sess
narnian battles were small
like maybe a hundred creatures maxx!
not row after row
of superimposed holly would
stoopid lookin’ idiots
with horns or one eyeball
or whatever
(fill in silly computer narnian here)
why fuck w/ a good storey
look at troy
(NO DONT!!)
you just dont get some
bloke to re write homer
or lewis
or j r r r r toke it in
(pipeweed…..go j.r.)
never mind
we still give it a thumbsup
next time
drop the action stuffe
the u.s. accents
(but howie, theaudience loved those freakin wolves)
and
ok thats enuff
im gonna leave you now
love
s the k

which line in which wardrobe…?

we live in the void of metamorphoses

8 02 in the morningtroubled grey skyovercast mindfeeling like something waiting for meout theresometing thats gonna bring problemssomething wickedsomething badsomething from the pastcoming back to haunt meproblems i cant containforebodingxmas all gonethat doesnt worry me nonenew years evedont mean much to mewhat could it be…?barometric pressure?peer group pressure?ha hai am peerless….cos youve run out of pot…?nah, i’ll sort that out eventuallyoh misery take your hands off melet me me see yaso i know whom i am fighting againstdont persecute me with yer vague whispers and threatsperhaps too much timeon computersk suffering from electro-magnetic pollution(all for your sake, my preciousses)sk plagued by little bickererssk hounded by bad consciencesk sensitive to mobile phonesthe smell of meattoo much tv(please….turn it off)horrible music in the air(or is it just my tinnitus?)feeling frailfeeling mortaltho for no real reasoncome on, sk, cheer us up a littlewe logged on for a laffnot for your maudlin old tripei wish i was drivin along with tim againbetween noosa and brisbanewhen our tour was yet one day oldefor a few hours my universe was definedthe interior of our tarago vanthe radio playing some weird olde stationtalking things overas we accelarated through the warm drizzlewilo, are ya out therei miss ya buddyit was a goode time, wasnt it?i wish i was a twine and ma and ethey never seem lonelyalways got each otherme……..ive always felt on my ownonly tiny little timeshere and therewhen i feel un-isolatedwhoa skyou succumbing to some heavy melancholia, olde palno wonderyou havent done yer laps for a whileyouve done very little yogayer meditations have been half heartedit doesnt keep goingif you neglect the infrastructurei have to run as hard as i canto stay in the same place……or all my songsand wordscome back to bite me on the arseat times like thesejesusi gotta get away from thisradiation spitting […]

8 02 in the morning
troubled grey sky
overcast mind
feeling like something waiting for me
out there
someting thats gonna bring problems
something wicked
something bad
something from the past
coming back to haunt me
problems i cant contain
foreboding
xmas all gone
that doesnt worry me none
new years eve
dont mean much to me
what could it be…?
barometric pressure?
peer group pressure?
ha ha
i am peerless….
cos youve run out of pot…?
nah, i’ll sort that out eventually
oh misery take your hands off me
let me me see ya
so i know whom i am fighting against
dont persecute me with yer vague whispers and threats
perhaps too much time
on computer
sk suffering from electro-magnetic pollution
(all for your sake, my preciousses)
sk plagued by little bickerers
sk hounded by bad conscience
sk sensitive to mobile phones
the smell of meat
too much tv
(please….turn it off)
horrible music in the air
(or is it just my tinnitus?)
feeling frail
feeling mortal
tho for no real reason
come on, sk, cheer us up a little
we logged on for a laff
not for your maudlin old tripe
i wish i was drivin along with tim again
between noosa and brisbane
when our tour was yet one day olde
for a few hours my universe was defined
the interior of our tarago van
the radio playing some weird olde station
talking things over
as we accelarated through the warm drizzle
wilo, are ya out there
i miss ya buddy
it was a goode time, wasnt it?
i wish i was a twin
e and m
a and e
they never seem lonely
always got each other
me……..
ive always felt on my own
only tiny little times
here and there
when i feel un-isolated
whoa sk
you succumbing to some heavy melancholia, olde pal
no wonder
you havent done yer laps for a while
youve done very little yoga
yer meditations have been half hearted
it doesnt keep going
if you neglect the infrastructure
i have to run as hard as i can
to stay in the same place……
or all my songs
and words
come back to bite me on the arse
at times like these
jesus
i gotta get away from this
radiation spitting machine
from this screen
sending out its death rays inta mah soul
i gotta pull the plug
i gotta get in the sea
i gotta get in the astral
i gotta get some pure clean food and air
i am a vintage sports car
and i need a lotta lookin after
you cant thrash me up and down
the highway too much
man
you self centred old s. o .b
you soft centred coffee cream
that last chokky in the box
that no one fancies….
SNAP OUTTA IT, olde bean

i will speak to you all
later
signed
me