The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

yes
i am saddened by rick wrights passing
i love the early floyd
their impact on rock is hard to over-estimate
i remember a time
when they were obscure
in 1970
i stood in a record shop in the monaro mall
upstairs it was
it had listening booths and everything
it had lots of weird records
records i never heard of
there was one called juicy lucy
it featured this blowsy but still erotic woman
naked n covered in fruit
the record itself was a stinker
but jesus…that cover….oh how modern it seemed
the also had the blind faith one
the one with the topless teenage girl….
not the cover that was in the decent shops
i found beard of stars in that shop
oh blessed day
i didnt even know there was a beard of stars
see
in those days
it was hard to glean information
i loved the t rex “t rex” album
but i knew nothing of what came before
so imagine my delight
when i came upon the delightful blacknwhite shot
of marc
looking like shelley or something
and mickey
looking like the handsomest side man in the whole world
anyway
i didnt need the listening booth that day
i wanted to enjoy this on my own
and oh what a strange and lovely record it was
as if it fell from another age
a sexy chivalrous fey rococo electric erotic narnian place
where verily childe
i doth must needs go
anyhow i also bought argents first record there
and the vertigo trip
a double sampler of new vertigo bands
(a label)
who’d just signed about 50 new acts
among them
magna carta
clear blue sky
caterpillar
warhorse
centipede
and of course
black sabbaff
anyway i also bought the moody blues up there
jesus those records aint travelled that well
the occasional song…..but talk about pompous overblown bilge
jesus every ray thomas song makes me want to cringe inside out
but i had em all nonetheless
gee i do still love nights in white satin
cmon scream me down as a soft headed ninny
but wow it still gives me a nice jolt of pleasure
it was spectacular when it first came out….
anyway i’d wag school
(why go to learn the words of fools)
it would be autumn or something poignant
i get on the bus into town
i ride up northbourne ave
tingling in anticipation
you never knew what youd find
how could you know…?
my very generous old daddy
had given me 10 bucks to buy a record
i think a vinyl lp was $5 .95 in those days
i remember the double albums always had stickers saying $8.95
it was important to make the right choice
my dad might buy me a new record every month
my you gotta be choosy
it was a leap into the unknown
i hadnt started reading reviews yet
i allowed my gut instinct to guide me
i went off the album cover or the titles
or what i’d heard someone say once somewhere
i didnt like totally crazy stuff
like zappa
i hated zappa
i didnt like jokey jazzy fiddly stuff much
i hated bluesy foghat savoy brown humble pie etc
i was looking for that weird music that opened up that door
each of my favourite records took me to different worlds
you go home
close yer bedroom door
stick on “the autumn stone” by the small faces
baby you were there
close yer eyes
hey steve kilbey youre a mod in 1968
taking acid with stevie and ronnie
and the world is all wavery
and everythings going whooosh!
or i chucked on yes the yes album
it had all these climactic moments
the bass was extraordinary
the lyrics were nicely non sequitur
or whatever
some records only half worked for me
jethro tull…couldnt really love em
purple sabbath zep…i had em but i didnae love em
only tiny bits in each one
didnt like the singing or the words
abraxas by santana was one of my favourite records
and what a cover….one of the best ever
(more naked women collaged together in some
crazy tex mex wilderness of congas and mad screaming women
and these cool latino players and carlos guitar wriggling like an eel)
the 1st track…its launched me on a thousand attempts at imitation
sighing winds, crying beasts
oh go and listen to that now my children
if you have it
a forlorn piano has its guts stroked in a dali desert reverb
the cymbals exhale like a mirage of distant surf
the guitar feeds back like an overload in the sun
then the most simple sublime bass pulse starts
and the electic piano caresses us
now relaxed
in some cool chlorinated oasis motel pool
we take peyote and zoom out over south america
the spaniards and the portugese
the incans and the mayans
the bongos and congas propel us onwards
into south americas mysterious heart
the magic realism
if you been there
you’ll know what i mean
you see south america is slightly half in
another universe altogether
its like the west but its not the west
its charged with possibilities
like africa i guess altho i aint been there
and have no desire to
africa would nullify me
it does not call me
nor does it want me
but imagine if painkiller became big in south america
then we could play in montevideo
and send some great postcards home
maybe go looking for lemuria or some clue
digging in some jungle ruins
a bearded professor finding my old life in the excavations
a fragment here
a fragment there
brushing the dust from my old mirror
mescaline flares up again inside my fevered mind
i drink the vine
i walk with my spirit guide the black jaguar
i talk to snakes
i emerge from the jungles shadows
in an english pastoral
cirrus minor by pink floyd
on a trip to cirrus minor saw a crater in the sunlight
a thousand miles of moonlight later
and then at the end
ricks organ lingers
it hovers there in the waning light of the song
mysterious droning modulating
the astral path
the shining strange link
ricks lovely sad organ
just hanging there
so solemnly
so regally
so cool

kilbey this
kilbey that
kilbey in the middle
kilbey with a pinch of salt
kilbey after lunch with tea
yeah
yeah
the many thoughts of chairman steven kilbey
well while my erstwhile pal mal
makes headlines in aust
look out tomorrow
for
one of australias leading papers
will declare MY song the winner
and yesterday i did the interview to prove it
the complete lowdown on THAT song
boy i spilt the beens on it once n fer all
that song and i
bound like a witch and her familiar
or like king and his sceptre
or like a sailor n an alby-tross
yes my little song
now 22 years old and doing allright
many of his new friends dont know or care
that i am that little songs father
and really
the little song is now all grown up
and its made its daddy so proud
by becoming a “standard”
even if every other song i wrote
is an esoteric piece of aerated tripe
then blow me down gently
cos at least i wrote one fucking classic
the people have decided
and
it won by twice as many as the nearest song!!!!????
why do those people love it so?
or are my rabid australian fans just votin’ n votin’
n votin’ n votin’ n votin’
either way i am surprised
just when i’m declaring my love for space rock n whale bleeps
out comes this olde chestnut
to remind me of my mousy roots
now look keep this all under yer hat till tomorrow, ok?
i promised i would but ive kinda leaked it
oooooh!
but isnt it nice to know
that that scruffy olde geezer ranting on the sidelines (moi)
keeps getting tiny extensions on his famous fifteen minutes
and the bloodshot eye of general popularity
sometimes blinks in my vague direction
after my interview
which was quite pleasant enough
i was left to a camera person
who got to boss me around for about 20 minutes
stand like this
stand like that
take yer sunglasses off
look up
look down
look fascinating
all around on bondi beach
the tourists are craning their necks
it must be a bricklayer who rescued a kitten….
the locals are saying
“ha ha someone taking ole kilbeys picture on the beach..”
gee whizz
how do i feel……
sick
being popular is as bad as being ignored
its just got its own set of conundrums
someone was complimenting me in the sauna again
the other day effusively
in front of some other people
just trying to relax
this person gush gush gush
finally i lost my fuckin’ temper
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP i say surprising myself
COMPLIMENTS ARE AS HARD TO TAKE AS INSULTS!!
but but but…
c’mon
i just finished reading titus alone by mervyn peake
strange book
peake spends 2 books creating a gothic masterpiece
perhaps 2 of the most incredible works of fantasy bar none
better even than narnia and tolkien
denser
weirder
more detailed
and then
titus alone
when i first read the gormenghast trilogy i was about 12
the first 2 books i adored but the third one i hated
what happened to the castle and all the characters?
now our hero is lost in some sick 1940s pseudo-england
where some people ride llamas and small flying cylinders watch you
and we sometimes see such beautifully clear visions
scenes that take your breath away
peake was being ravaged by parkinsons disease as he wrote this book
it is extra-ordinary
i humbly kneel at the feet of a real master and genius
meanwhile the martin kennedy gigs are approaching
one at the excelsior in surry hills
the other at the tap gallery
where a buncha musicians are exhibiting their art
including me and mk
we will be doing half a dozen songs for you all
i have also been vaguely inveigled in a movie being made
here in lovely bondi beach nsw
playing the part of a zen surfer and doing the music
i was surprised to see all the auditioning going on
all the over the place yessaday at the pavillion
gee maybe it will be a blockbuster….
saddened yessaday to see
all the bickering claptrap starting up on ze comments
look
i been guilty of this in the past
but now im tired of it
its the same old pests as usual
ah who cares
its a singers blog fer christ sakes
its some wag in a comments section on the fuckin’ internet
amazed someone didnt rope in meat as well
ooh it must be funny getting a rise out of em
tsk tsk tsk
shame on you
and say what you like about yonder micki raymi
but hes playing in nyc right now
playing the electric guitar
and sitting up late discussing reverberation
with some english rockstar
whos cooler than fuck
and what are we doing….yes…you and i?
well i’m waiting patiently till the 23rd dec in melbourne
when we will unleash painkiller again
and you
youre sitting at your computer thinking
i bet this blog is about to end
adios!
sil voo play

see….?
turnbull is now leader of the opposition here in aust
my mothers prediction will come true
and i will dine out for the rest of my life
telling people how the prime minnyster staid at my house
and look at us
turnbulls got a 170 million in the bank(and owns the bank)
i got 170 dollars in the bank
gee he looks fucking olde tho
gee he looks a bit outta shape
dont look like ‘is missus likes him too much either
saw a picture of em
the body language said it all
shes got her arm round ‘im
but theres no body contact
shes keeping him at arms length
imagine what an insufferable prick he will be
when he is the primo fucking minister
and he will be
yeah i imagine hes bad enough round the home as it is
“mal-colm……where are the poodles diamante chains…
not the gold ones dear…the platinum ones…
oh malcolm….youve left 500,000 bucks lying all over the room
oh i do wish youd learn to clean up dear
i hear tony blair always folded his undies…..”
see…? theres somethings the olde time being just knows
remember how people used ta support the war in iraq..?
gee those were the days
people writing in here
saying i was adolf hitler
and how george bush was a good guy bombin’ them iraqis
hey …!
to catch a terrorist you gotta act like a terrorist right?
ok a few thousand civilians accidentally died
but we got u-day and quasi, right
and they were bad guys…yeah?
so…err…i guess mr bush worked out
on a sliding scale of evil
that they were worth …say , 5 thousand civvy deaths each
he probably actually brought both of em in under budget
(ie he wasted less civvies than he thought he would)
(which meant he could waste some more somewhere else)
anyway we now see iraq as a great success
and sorry about new orleans, folks
but you cant be everywhere
i personally feel much safer at night
knowing nth vietnam had to be stopped
or everyone here would be speaking vietnamese
you been out to the western suburbs lately…?
they are…
but what i’m getting at is…..
THEY NEVER SAY THEYRE SORRY…!
the bastards who start wars
all those fuckin’ people died in vietnam
horrifically and needlessly
one day
the u.s. says
ah bugger it
we’re sick of viet bloody nam
lets just pull out n go home
fuck em , eh?
and thats it…?
no apologies to the people saying all along
NO WAR IN VIETNAM!!
all them protesters and peaceniks
locked up or beaten or framed
AND THEY WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!
the war was fucked up (aint they all)
but the idiots who started it
didnt wanna stop until they were ready…
until they killed enough soldiers to feel like
theyd had a proper war
you do need a proper war….dont you?
for displays of imperialistic might, i mean…
can one ever imagine
in the distant future
when uncle sam has drowned in his own cholesterol
and rule brittania up to her eyeballs in take away curry n goss mags
and finally
good olde orstralia rises up to the top
the new world policeman
but just a bit lazier than the others
HEADLINES 2058
war flashpoint in middle east
australian president
mal turnbull the third
says
“we’ll sort it out…
after christmas”
when asked about plans for global warming
turnbull said
“i’m just enjoying these antarctic pineapples right now..”
in other news
steve kilbey the hundred n four year olde space rocker
released his new album
“stoned methusalah” (out now on zog )
kilbey described it as similar to 2045s
” the eighties are back”
but with more
biffo
in other news
ricky maymi aged 86
is still out there
being a bad ass rocker
“i play in 437 different bands these days, kinda keeps me busy”
oh ha ha ha ha ha

in the purr-fect stillness of a spring morn
the alligator babies push against their leathery eggs
and soundlessly mouth the word mama
the distance stretched out taut like a prisoner
the mauve and purple distance where i hurl my song
hey i see the new messiah and i dig his crazy horns
hey i sew sequins on mother natures green gown
hey i make a ring of forget-me-nots for the prince of spring
all around the edges of the forest the woodland creatures gather
scratching at their whiskers expectantly and sniffing the air
the gnomes go abroad leaving their winter strongholds in the woods
the lily of the valley arrives white and naked
and she stands proud and un’shamed by the ford
in the holy mornings you will see her
open to the sky
drink in the rays
tapping moisture with aerial roots
sure enough the golden carp cavort neath her skirts
and the shy trout darts among the shadows
the wee folk from the shallows then come out
the fisherfolk and those who weave gossamer winged creations
the drowned girl sits up midstream and wonders
and titus groan, still alone
now an old old man
lives in a cosy bole
far from the halls of flint
everybody sing for spring
her ladyship arrives in a frock of flowers
sunflowers and moonflowers intertwined
and honey suckle and milky lemurian roses
and a swarm of attendant bees dressed royally in black and gold
and her little brownies who giggle and gossip till after midnight
indeed as the evening falls deep in the darkling dells
the immortals fade up into view
dionysus as a swaggering youth
mercury as a gentle fool
aphrodite dressed as a boy
athene with her bare breasts
aurora all golden brown and brown eyed
lovely eve mother of mankind
little scarlet all rosy pink and
gurgling like a brook
treespirits come forth!
demands jesus with his black jaguar by his side
and lo
out they come again
same as the last spring poem
those dancing ladies of gods garden
those strange spirits that live in oak and elm
see the birches supple step
see the larchs lithe limbs
the spruce sways on the spot
the pine girls whirl around
and music
who plays this sweet music
lord krishna appears
with all divine markings and all favourable auspices
he deigns to play his flute for us
oh delight for the dancers
and singers of spring
beautiful krishna walking from his beloved jungle
lovely radha draped round his neck
say this night will last ten thousand years
oh krishna we are weary of war and old men who shout
we long for lifetimes in the cool night
away from the glare of mortality
its never ending anxieties
no
let this night endure
let this night prevail over time
let the swans float forever on your rivers
let the mist drift forever past your moon
let all merry creatures and beasts go unharmed for this tonight
let zeus fetch his best blood red wine
and let the lord of arrows strike up his lyre
pinch a fat babys cheek and sing to luna
cavort in the groves with your lovers
let the glades be thrown open to nightingales
and lanterns strung between the bumping trees
let everything be blessed and nothing forbidden
let the gods mingle freely
let the celebrations never end
i sing my song for the forlorn and weary of heart
i sing my song for the lonely and for the poor
spring is here
spring is here
jump up from your beds
and rejoice!
rejoice!
winter is gone
renewal has come
the zephyrs are inviting
the stream is warm
the nights will be everlasting
spring magic
spring love
spring spring
la la la
tra la la
and
hey nonny hey ho
hey ho

a rebel without the caws
i feel angry and restless
i feel ineffectual and reduced
i feel i gotta learn my lesson
and i aint learnt my lesson
but i will learn my lesson
ricki went back to sf on sunday
me n evie took him to the aeropuerte
jesus i miss him already
he certainly put some pizazz into things
off to some glamourous gig in new york city
thats the life…..isnt it?
i am just wishin’ n hopin’ we all can play some more gigs
because i enjoyed myself
other things dont make me enjoy myself that much
and life is all about enjoyment, isnt it?
i’m quite popular with the guys twenty years younger than me
i seem to have a few…tho they’re no spring chickens themselves
blokes i see at the pool
they all seem to like me for some strange reason
in truth it is this
age horrifies them
a thirty 5 year olde geezer dont wanna be in his fifties
they see all these fifty odd geezers….no thanks
then you see me
although as old as any of them
my youthful naivety and natural dopiness
means i can always converse with the youngsters
(except my own teenage daughters, natch
who wish i’d grow up and get a real job)
(i would if i only could)
anyway these guys see me
and realise
you can carry on being a fool into your old age
or as long as you like
i intend to keep on doing this
and i dont care if anybody thinks otherwise
only a tiny percentage of people will be interested
(congratulate yourself)
listen to painkiller before you start whinging about my direction
i do what i have to do
you cant get a fucking vision of something beaudiful
and then turn around n turn yer back on it
i wanna have a go at everything
i’m sick of the past
its not in my nature to wanna play olde tricks
and the thought of it enervates me
i cant allude directly to the thing
but its coming up
and the thought of it pisses me off
because i need to strive not fuckin’ jive
but too bad for me, huh?
we all have our many little crosses to bear, dont we
and little bears to cross
and
i am being driven mad by my own genius-idiot mind
i have an unlimited supply of ideas
and a very limited way of actualizing them
get over it kilbey you restless olde fraud
go n fucking play unguarded moment why dontcha
scarlet kilbey gets up
and comes in my room muttering demanding something
i cant hear what shes saying
truth is, shes not saying anything
she doesnt know what she wants
but she wants something
and shes getting ready to cry and wake up everybody
so shes got me over a( ha ha! ) barrel
i run around trying to appease her
me with my musical innovations et al
running about trying to sort out a petulant wally
finally i hit on the idea of lining her toys up
on the edge of a guitar case
she goes for it and plays quietly
nattering to herself as her toys indulge in a bit of biffo
scarlet is quite bloody big now
quite curvaceous too for someone not quite 3
shes a right little ratbag too
just like her father
like ive been revisited on myself
just so i can see what i was like myself
only as a girl
eve n aurora seem positively angelic compared to la scarlet
who is a combination of queen of sheba and liz taylor and
some important olde opera singer all puffed up with herself
scarlet is capricious exacting demanding
and wont be fobbed off with just any old thing
if she asks for raspberry dont give her strawberry
if she wants this dont give her that
dont make fun of the silly way she talks
i want to sit on you wap, daddy
dont pretend to listen but not listen coz she knows
but
as if you wanna read about some precocious kid…right…?
so am i lucky or unlucky today….?
still waiting for some huge windfall
some university somewhere
gonna hire me or something
hell i know everything just ask me
i was splitting infinitives before i was spitting dummies
i was cooking up artistic frisson since way back when
i got credentials i got scars i got real authenticity
so come on
what tertiary establishment does not need someone like me
getting paid a fortune to contemplate my own knavel
and pissing off home early most week days
i’d write a thesis just like this blog
a load of old codswallop for a million word paper
on the millionth word i’d stop
et voila
dr s kilbey ph bloody d esquire
on a big wicket a top screw moolah and lots of it
what do i do all day
i muck about in my all laid on university studio
i make records of pink whales bleeping while
ricki maymis guitar feeds back in the key of b#
they go on n on for ages
while i write stupid poems about narnia and the seventh dimension
and churn out endless self portraits that look like a 3 year old did em
then i’ll turn up in the cafeteria stoned and insult all the pricks eating meat
i’ll stumble into the staff room and spill tiger balm everywhere
naturally i’ll drive a sunbeam alpine and drink retsina
i’ll wear andre breton songlasses and apollinaire sprats
i’ll huff n puff n blow yer horse down
i’ll be sure to land a good job somewhere now
hey i could teach english to foreign geniuses
look
this a noun
this is a verb
this is a brain on drugs
this is a party sipple
this is a …
my attention is interrupted
i hear a kookaburra laughing
i hear the rumble of the garbage trucks
i hear the groan of the busdrivers
i hear the weight of the morning
i hear the mechanisms in my readers minds
i hear the ghosts as i pass by the billabongs
i hear the body electric tho i no longer care to sing it
i hear here
i hear there
i hear my own cilia screaming in my ear drums
i hear you dont remember me no more baby
i hear they all went “straight”
i hear you was only jokin’
thats ok
we all need a laff
i will explode soon
if i cant relieve the pressure
who will soothe me n talk me down
not i said the sparrow
nor i said the wren
neither me said the world
this wills on fire
now
what was i saying…..?

in the room where she waits
with her books on the stars
and the magical line
between nova and dawn
and the way the snow flurries
in the absence of light
just outside the window
where darknesses lie
and the birds of the air
and the beasts of the town
grow talons and teeth
wear surgical gowns
and howl for an audience
they follow around
by the time they have reached her
shes gone down and drowned

in the seventh heaven of a venerable buddha
lived a lovely flower blooming on a hillside
the sky was perfectly blue
the grass was divinely green
the pretty little birds sang in the trees
and lovely angels cavorted in the small puffs of mist
their golden voices filling the blessed air with wonder
their play delighted the permanent spring
their joy vibrated the tiny cymbals
and wind chimes softly chimed together
and the branches of the trees played the wind
oh to rest there, the weary traveller……
where the climes are always warm
and the water always sweet
and morning lasts forever

on an island in a lake
hiding from the law
i went by the name of
al pyne
we were a desperate crew
none would ever see their homes again
we took what we could
and we paid the price in spades
we divvied up our swag
and we fought like the thieves we were
blast those constables that came looking for us
and blast my wet powder
and triple blast my useless bible
we were forced to run
some men had their wives and children with them
and the slowest were taken down
diego lopez had discovered a cave he said
we ran after him through the trees
in the half light of the jungle
hotly pursued by the police
i saw jesus himself
yes i swear it
standing amongst the trees
shaking his magnificent head
with a panther at his feet
yes and his mother
who walked among the lonely paths
so silently she wandered by
i had no time to wonder
in case some colonial sergeant
shoots me down
so i just run
as best i could
we split up a little
outrunning the fat and lazy police
we come to lopezs cave
yes it would be hard to detect ordinarily
none of us not even lopez has been in
we all slither into its darkness on our bellies
once inside
we light a candle
we are in a dry smooth empty cave
that is large enough for us all to stand
we hear their shouts and voices outside
and we edge to the back
to the dark walls and further back
and then
a falling sensation
we have fallen down a fissure
no
we are not falling
we are floating
then
i stumble upright
the others are all around
like weve woken out of a dream
we are in a beautiful land
the sea breaks to its eastern edge
and between us lie lush fertile meadows and orchards
and no sign of any other humans
we named it telmar

sitting here right now a very happy olde space rocker
ya see
i always wanted to make this music
the big music
the music without boundaries
the blazing incandescent screaming sighing formless racket
i hear it in my head
ebbing and flowing as natural as nature
organic music electronic music guitar music
oh i know what an electric guitar is capable of
oh i know how a bass changing in the nether regions of music
moving thru the depths like a plesiosaur
i know how drums can pound the rhythm to yer brain
i know a voice singing the right words
i know where those words can send ya
and i’m beginning to realise
and im beginning to see the light
we put a band together to do the gig
tim had the incredible idea of the band
hanging together a few days longer
and making an album in the spirit of painkiller
ya see
and ya can go back n check my blogs from may 007
this record was done fast
yes fast and so full of love
most beds recorded in one afternoon
polished off with about a weeks overdubs
its quicker and easier when you play everything yerself
no arguments no explanations
no nothin’
just you and yer axe or mellotron or whatever
tim amazing on drums n technical side
sent it to polinski
he did his thing
he inserted his” hesius dome” trip (check them out)
and voila
now
we have built and improved upon this formula
gathering together
the crew of ss painkiller
have recorded some music of rare beauty and brilliance
the beds are down ie the backing tracks are ready
oh this is beautiful stuff
look…i am good on my own
i can play all the instruments (cept drums)
but the real joy in music comes from 6 people
all extremely different
bending their minds towards a common objective
TO MAKE THE BEST RECORD EVER EVER EVER
a tall order…maybe…but thats our goal
and heres what you need
music which is not stiff or locked into song structure
music which can scream and roar
music which can hover and caress
music which can brutalize and crush
music which can soothe and unite
music that sends you baby
sends you to that other place
yea creature the other fucking place
you only get there thru drugs sex magic death
OR
music
ah ha
now i now you read my blog searching for that other place
you listen to my music
because i have dedicated my life to ferrying people across
my whole everything is to reach that lovely lonely shore
where things are sweet and holy (etc)
and in the last few days
me and the others
have certainly been building sonic bridges
to that distant shore
where music breaks free of its bounds
and it explodes the way you always hoped it would
when you cant tell n dont care whats playing what
all the instruments
a pulsing bass
a pounding drums
a lonesome slide
a looped and looping guitar
radios appear…the random improbable music in the static
polinski filters it through his delerious vision
adds other stuff in
wow im so high from playing this stuff
we should do a songy song someone says
i yell out some random chords
of course it works
everything works
the music is structurally simple
it drones and reiterates itself
and it builds it changes it crashes it subsides
everyone played great
we got it in the can
boy i hope this band plays again
cos we are ready to already be the best
oh this is very sublime stuff
my favourite type of music
wild free and timeless
long or short
instinctive music
savage music
its not hard to play
its not easy either
you gotta love it
put yer ego aside
feel the joy of being part of a machine
painkiller the record touches on this
now the band is combining electric electronic
organic found sound
indian strings maintain tension
the distorted guitars burst into white light
the bass suddenly accelerates as the drums pick up
something comes in on the radios
a fragment of a song is captured
it bends into our song
becomes part of our song
the instruments all keep shifting against each other
forming brief alliances before shattering into disparate atoms
still the music hammers home its point
and this is where
when the music starts to hammer home its point
that the sex and magic and drugs come back in
because there is some orgasmic thrill of riding a wave
an oceanic wave
or a short wave
or a synaptic wave
or a musical tidal wave of intent
hurling the players before it with inevitable momentum
free of all constraints at last
no history
no future
no he said we should do thats
we just jammed
and the gods of music
and apollo himself
smiled favourably on our endeavours
seismic rocking shimmerbursts shibbolethic bam boom bim
wacka thwacka crash burn bang
oh oh
and up she rises
sssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh
wo wo wo wo wo wo
KAPOW!
BIFF!
WAM!
OOOF!
BASH!
a siren wails on a lonesome prairie
we ride across a sonic desert
wondering at the ambient stars
twinkling like little cymbals
we pick up moments
examine them
cast them aside
clip clop clip clop
a firestorm appears swallowing us up
we are spat out on the info super hi way
cruising and destroying
eating up the miles
hauling ass down a black corridor
i dont know
what do i know
its naive hopeful music
its optimystic
go ahead make my day music
get down on yer knees music
gotta backbeat you cant lose it
blah blah blah
im sure you get the picture …right
maybe i’m deluded
i dunno
anyway
thats it

54
yep
count em
54 years old
today
calloo callay
i outlived my father
i wish he was here
what a life
what is it all trying to tell me
well i dunno
i can see now how this life
will be a fragment
that my soul will weave into its tapestry
somewhere on the tip of the next guys tongue
will be my fucking name
or maybe its better not to remember…
i dont know whether to laugh or cry at myself
materially…i got nothing
nothing at all
a debt to the taxman
and a quick piss and a look around
no job
no “skills”
no mortgage
no insurance
no super
no plan
no idea
no clue
no nothing
i have arrived at this late stage of the game
still naive and silly
still ripe for fleecing
still not wise or venerable or anything
still railing against the stupid world
who cant see
that what they really need is me
painkillers out there
i aint writin’ about it anymore
kilbey kennedy coming up soonish
maybe painkiller in melbourne at xmas
triffids in mel n perth next year
cant wait for that
jesus
i’m fifty four
look in the mirror
oh ….no thanks..
yeah you look like a king from the olde days
yeah you look like yer dad
yeah you got lines and wrinkles alright
jesus man
yer only 6 years off sixty
yer not doing too bad
in some ways
you just had the best gig of yer life th’other nite
you are not a total catastrophe
oh i have the yurge to do new things
dont wanna
dont wanna sing those old songs anymore
dont wanna
wanna sing my new ones
the ones we were writing yesterday
the droning burning blazing stuff
this is where i fit in
eternally awkward as some showbiz drongo
i am a fucking renaissance man
as hilarious as it may seem
have a good laugh cos i’m laughing too
i think i’m fucking hlarious
you’ll turn off yer computer in a minute
but i’m stuck with this joke permanently
and you know
even you most dyed in the wool sk fans gotta admitty
i cocked it all up for myself
yes i did
arrogance drugs and bad timing
i frittered it all away
too many mediocre nights
when i just wanted to get high
i didnt care
it showed
who wants someone that doesnt care…?
and now
and now
its like my life has undergone such massive upheavals
i am destabilized
i am no one in particular
no one you would really know
i carry my own inbuilt obsolescence
but boy
oh boy
i know such a lot about music and words and sound and stuff
i can draw and i can paint and whatever
i understand the principles
i can project my thoughts via my work
what is it i want to say
simply this
this is a wonderful life
everything
everything is miraculous
my five daughters
for example
my true fans and fiendss
among which please number yourself
i have wonderful people like eekie mouse on my side
i have the lovely sue sea
who takes care of things
gee nunn who helps out with poetry advice
trevor boyd for nsew and michael farrant who does the
maven
i thank now
and i thank always
prof klk
a true medieval style patron of the yarts
klk..its hard to say how incredible you have verily been
kevin n from olde hungary
he put on a tour for us in europe
and he covered the shortfall
and boy if you saw us on that tour
spare a thought to kevin who put his euros where his mouth was
(at least we are still friends tho…!)
on my fifty fourth birthday
i hail my 2 brothers
who i fucking love like ..err…brothers
i havent always been the best big brother
ive been a selfish rotten git
imagine growing up with me….no, dont
my mother joycie of course
who i adore like crazy
juicy wallop
now a jolly olde authentic granny type…when needed to be
i thank a handful of guys
who have been real friends to me…
people who i can just be myself around
no need to pretend
martin krall from sweden
who is the nicest bloke around
polinski whose a lovable bastard
ricki maymi who is a virgo which explains a lot
bel frank and dub frank
totally different but both diamond geezers
martin kennedy actually too
i feel very at home in his company
mark s from sthlm
and sarah the little lord
my only real girl friend
i guess i’m a bit too blokey or something
and while i thank people
i’d like to thank a certain floridian chap mr pe
who swooped in
and bought about 15 of my paintings in one go
and helped me get thru a bleak august
thank you sir!
all my subscribers …
thank you
your generosity has been unbelievable
thanking you for continuing to make this all possible
i thank my wife
but she knows i’m pretty happy with her
i thank the people i play with
i thank the people i play to
and coming up oct 7th
my debut as a more spoken word type gig in glebe sydney
my plays coming back too
soon
the emc quietly knockin’ out masterpieces
the train kept a rolling all night long
you play the hand thats dealt ya
you fly…and you fall
yeah i’m grateful to a whole loada people
people who fucking came thru for me
i wish i could return all your trust
with something spectacular….
i wish i made millions
and could put you all on salaries
and have you working for me
nelg is an example
you could put him on 3 or four grand a week
and hed bee bizzy all the time
belfrank too i’d like on my payroll
maybe olde mem too
tim powles is a lovely bloke
a little devious
but always lovely
no painkiller without him…..
william said yesterday
that when tim n i play bass n drums together
we have an immediate connection…wel yes we do
he is an amazing drummer
pk n mwp ..old comrades in arms
is this what its all about on yer birfday
thanking a loada people without whom….
still missing dad
grantley
uncle gary and auntie irene
still cant believe mattys gone
oh how i’d love to know where he is right now
of course
i ‘d like to thank the god of all this here creation
who figured it all out
who set it in motion
who holds the spheres in their places
whilst dreaming universes a million per second
man
i got a lotta chances
i guess im poor but im happy
im sore and im sorry
but fuck i’m still here
n i made fifty fuckin’ four
and i aint no wimpy olde wanker in his biz suit
workin’ for the ubiquitous man…
advice for youngsters
who wish to arrive at this advanced age
as intact as possible
dont ever eat anything dead
dont drink too much but a little is alright…a little!
dont eat cheesy things
no mobile phones
no microwave
avoid eggs
exercise hard
walk swim jog
get out there baby and fuckin’ get on it
cos its hard to get it off once its on
do yoga you idiots…what are ya waiting for
yoga has reinvented me
yoga in everything i do
yoga rejuvenation
yoga discipline
yoga grace
yoga for breakfast lunch and tea
yoga will guide you
its guiding me i guess…informing me
painkiller is proof of pudding
my best record ever…or what….?
yeah
i aint run out of tricks yet
you’ll be surprised
i promise i’ll go down swinging
happy birthday to everybody
kilbey…now officially ancient

on the last day
when i was still a youngman
when it was still possible
when it was still likely….
soft spring morning breaks like china all over the place
a grasp for adjectives to apply to the sky
how many different blues
how many poignant little clouds just sitting there
planes full of important people jet off n out of memory
and somehow
although never having met them
i miss all them all
the palm outside my window is still
the sandy soil is patient and receptive
my old bomb of a car awaiting my attention
do i just jump in and drive for miles
past white walled villas and past awful slums
past fields with brokendown cows
and crumpled pines
the hinterland
the outskirts of another big dirty conglomerate of grease n noise
the fruit sellers and their dismal barrows
the deserted drive-ins overgrown with weeds
the roads run off here and there
the wires thin out and stretch back towards the city
the creek clogged with reeds and a sick black swan
someone shoots at the signs
wow… great shot…it’d be hard to miss, tho…
the gravel is reddish
its spring but it dont mean anything i guess
life goes on until it stops
until the fates blast ya with their twenty twos
and youve got a hole in yer mind
and you cant remember yesterday
but you can remember every detail from some jim-jims life
some idiot who strummed a guitar
or some little ninny who did this or said that
or some pig-headed fool
dressed up in some uniform somewhere
making some proud and cruel announcement
his foot on the head of a native
his hands red with needlessly shed blood
or something i overhead in a supermarket once…
no i already forgot that..
or something i did in a greenhouse
or the names of the children who i havent seen for half a century
or names carved on trees
names of kids i never met
names on graves that made me cry
the car speeds on
at the railway
stopped to wait for a train
i catch every eye in every window
everyone on the train listening to their ipods
all the ipods play the same song
clicketty clack
its all coming back
the blues in the night

time being

ok
let me put it straight
one of the best gigs i ever did/done
oh yes
this was it
it seems like i been workin’ towards that gig for 4o years
and then….
smooth as pineapple juice and stoli vodka..
bang!
the crew of ss painkiller deliver the goods in spades
in fuckin’ diamonds too
this finally then is rocknroll
a hand picked crew of unique individuals
polinski : sound
polinski provided a wraparound sonic cocoon
that contained and maintained the painkiller a gender
polinski is the supernatural anaesthetist
in the studio or live
polinski delivers that satisfying blend of organic/electronic/electric
i could feel it from the stage
this man is substance and the fairy dust at once
von ryper: guitar
von ryper walked in and became the other guitarist
in one fluid motion
nearly twenty years younger than me
he nevertheless provides continuity precision glamour n biffo
on the 12 string guitar and the rest he was nigh on faultless
what an excellent addition!
maymi : maymi is a controversial character and rightly so
a fellow virgo maymi is a hot headed crazy fool but boy can he play guitar
not only that but he embodies all the defiance and casual savoir-faire
of the true fuckin’ rocker
last night he vindicated his reputation
he blazed like a star
and he and von ryper were a constant source of guitar pleasure
maymi understands rocknroll at a cellular level
no wonder everybody gets him on their records
no wonder he is so important to the beejay,em
bowden: radiotronics
he plays what.?.. short wave radios and chaos pads..?
“anything i say could end up in yer blogge” says bowden
yes william
oh sweet william
you channeled in the voices
the pulsations
the ex static
the crackling gurgling screaming mess of whats out there right now
a medium for random beauty
bowden is as unique as the next crazy genius
and still takes time to play the keys
this bloke understands all the bits i dont
hes a fuckin rocknroll boffin
but boy without him
painkiller has no juice
as essential as my left hand
as cool as a cucumber
bowden is truly master o’ time n space
powles : drums n a lot more
this guy makes it happen
what a walloper but with the tech side well sorted
impossibly amenable n patient
a brilliant drummer n producer
impossible for this to happen at all without tim
nearly as important as me himself
powles is as furious or as measured as you like
wow!
i am extremely happy with my crew
anxious moment:
walkin’ along smokin’ a joint
up the middle of fuckin’ darlin’hurst
i (of all people)
cautioned young maymi to perhaps exercise caution
because the cops often frequent these here haunts
maymi exploded in derision
letting us know
how he’d handle any johnny wallopers
who tried to bust his skinny no-cal ass
so later
theres our hero outside the back door
entertaining some ladies n smokin’ mother nature
when a loada cops swarm around the club
and some are heading maymis way
(and he has no way of knowing)
next thing no ricki
i cant believe it….
they got him….??!
and by the sound of his argumentative mojo
he woulda gone down screaming n fighting
i’m just glumly imagining painkiller sans ricki
when he arrives unbusted
someone had texted him
ere he woulda been jail fodder when he shoulda been rockin’
but you know as someone said as i was gnawing my nails
hes a slippery character
anyway
i myself
i made hardly any mistakes
i sang quite well
i had a nabsolute bawl!
i leave the last testimoni
to a breathless nk
who burst into the dressing room
with these words on her lips
“the best gig ive ever seen in my life!”

ps david duchows visuals were superb
projected on a big screen
the perfect prescription indeed
much thanks dd!!
now
if you were there
use my comments to GUSH!!!