and so with open arms we must still believe…..
jesus that last frame looks weird, huhnow watch operetta below
jesus that last frame looks weird, huh
now watch operetta below
mithras palaganza
oh i knew you would ask me for the rest of my talei a poor slavewho has worked hard his whole lifelabouring in the fieldout in the etruscan duskswooning under moons of muskunder the long dreamy hazes of middaysthat drift through these lives of mineoh the songsthe grapeoh the girls and their wild ritesderanged by wine and secret magical herbswhen venus herself appears all radiant and goldenwhen the summer is high and days are longand water in the river runs sweet and warmand stars above glow white dazzled yet still so distantand we sleep so deeply so alive so alivethe music that i hear sad strings plucked so strangelyand the funny little steps of our dancingoh would you understand them?the faun comes kicking thru the woods finally at lastwith his pipe and his goatish waysmaenads yes i have seen them raving fucking madunder some spell i suppose they have lost their shameand we drink some more and we laugh some moreand the music picks up speeda dull drum has begun to thump in my templesi see lights that are not therehands touch me everywherei reach out stumbling laughing… who is there..?why i cant see in this upside down twilight…i never ask myself..i feel lips pressed against mei feel the wine in my mouth slosh round my tongueoh the bloody grape!a small voice says my boy theyve put something in your wineas i start to slowly spin round and roundi clutch at trees and fieldsi clutch at strange faces and soft naked fleshies i clutch at the blurry pink pink pink mooni clutch at my name but its lostwho will remember it one week after i’m gone…?who will hear the songs i thought would go on for foreverwho will see these impressions i tookthat i thought would last and lastwho will […]
oh i knew you would ask me for the rest of my tale
i a poor slave
who has worked hard his whole life
labouring in the field
out in the etruscan dusk
swooning under moons of musk
under the long dreamy hazes of middays
that drift through these lives of mine
oh the songs
the grape
oh the girls and their wild rites
deranged by wine and secret magical herbs
when venus herself appears all radiant and golden
when the summer is high and days are long
and water in the river runs sweet and warm
and stars above glow white dazzled yet still so distant
and we sleep so deeply so alive so alive
the music that i hear sad strings plucked so strangely
and the funny little steps of our dancing
oh would you understand them?
the faun comes kicking thru the woods finally at last
with his pipe and his goatish ways
maenads yes i have seen them raving fucking mad
under some spell i suppose they have lost their shame
and we drink some more and we laugh some more
and the music picks up speed
a dull drum has begun to thump in my temples
i see lights that are not there
hands touch me everywhere
i reach out stumbling laughing… who is there..?
why i cant see in this upside down twilight…i never ask myself..
i feel lips pressed against me
i feel the wine in my mouth slosh round my tongue
oh the bloody grape!
a small voice says my boy theyve put something in your wine
as i start to slowly spin round and round
i clutch at trees and fields
i clutch at strange faces and soft naked fleshies
i clutch at the blurry pink pink pink moon
i clutch at my name but its lost
who will remember it one week after i’m gone…?
who will hear the songs i thought would go on for forever
who will see these impressions i took
that i thought would last and last
who will understand how close i was
or what it took to get this far?
my name and my feet elude me
i fall facedown in the softness of my fantasies
eyes peer in to mine
they change into the eyes of an owl
these eyes that peer into mine
boring into my head and watching me squirm
and i push at nothing in the darkness
in the delirium of my life where every whisper is a lie
and the night has a thousand eyes
and how i was bound to go down
down down down to the bed with a shining glass sound
and how i was never found
never found again answering to my name
my name means something like dream
but more like a dream you cant remember
its a sad name its true
but still i can never remember it
not after all the wine
rich deep red wine
darkly oozing from a split skin
full of warp and woof
full of oblivion so warm and true
my name means something like that i was told
a dream within a grove
an arbour of flighty pheasants and vain peacocks
a story without a teller
just like the necropolis outlined against the nightsky
story of my lives
its already 2010i got a friend called rickyand one called donaldand one called nelgand one called trevor who is also church lighting mani live in bondi north bondi if you likemy friends come to my housewe and the fambley plusamble off to the beach for a swimwe get therethe beach is closed because ofa) electric stormb) jellyfishc) tsunamid) big sharky e) all of the abovecan you imaginea lightning bolt strikesa sharky bitesa jellyfish stingsthe tsunami drownsall at one timewe eat mexican n it starts to raincant pull a trickdo yoga this morning in the hot suni drift off into reveries of livesi remember faces dimly in the interior mistsi remember ninevehi remember albioni remember romei was a slave boycaptured from somewhere elsei must have been a slave therewhere i was before because i didnt mind being a slave herewe were outside of rome nowi worked in the vineyards of our owners whom we rarely sawone day our mistress turned up in our midst unexpectedlyshe looked rich with her jewelry and her robesrumours swirled around the place about hershe had been sent home from romefor misbehaviour nonethelessshe was suntanned and deliberateas she made her way up the treelined avenues of her splendid country homethey said she worshipped egyptian godsthey said she was a priestess of astartethey said she had had an affair with some emperor they said her husbands had been powerful menthey said she owned a house in africaone day i was surprised to be called into her presencewhat did she want with me?would i be ever be a freed man?would i be poisoned or promoted?would i be flayed or fucked or fired?it was with some trepidation thereforethat i approached her villa…..
its already 2010
i got a friend called ricky
and one called donald
and one called nelg
and one called trevor who is also church lighting man
i live in bondi north bondi if you like
my friends come to my house
we and the fambley plus
amble off to the beach for a swim
we get there
the beach is closed because of
a) electric storm
b) jellyfish
c) tsunami
d) big sharky
e) all of the above
can you imagine
a lightning bolt strikes
a sharky bites
a jellyfish stings
the tsunami drowns
all at one time
we eat mexican n it starts to rain
cant pull a trick
do yoga this morning in the hot sun
i drift off into reveries of lives
i remember faces dimly in the interior mists
i remember nineveh
i remember albion
i remember rome
i was a slave boy
captured from somewhere else
i must have been a slave there
where i was before because i didnt mind being a slave here
we were outside of rome now
i worked in the vineyards of our owners whom we rarely saw
one day our mistress turned up in our midst unexpectedly
she looked rich with her jewelry and her robes
rumours swirled around the place about her
she had been sent home from rome
for misbehaviour nonetheless
she was suntanned and deliberate
as she made her way up the treelined avenues
of her splendid country home
they said she worshipped egyptian gods
they said she was a priestess of astarte
they said she had had an affair with some emperor
they said her husbands had been powerful men
they said she owned a house in africa
one day i was surprised to be called into her presence
what did she want with me?
would i be ever be a freed man?
would i be poisoned or promoted?
would i be flayed or fucked or fired?
it was with some trepidation therefore
that i approached her villa…..
the painter and the painted
do another sitting for andrew h todayfor the big art prizehes got 3 big pictures of me going n small portraits of me all around the studioandrew is one of the nicest guys i ever meta true artist no matter whatthe real deal authenticity his place is light n breezyocean zephyrs blow thru the white roomsi discuss my face with andrewhe says “theres lots of concave isnt there?”hed been doing me too big n hardi point out small things to himbut hes doing a nice jobinteresting to see how he workspainting in a drab greeny brown swishing it all away with a turpsy raghe does portraits the way i dohe starts with a very rough thingand then he refines n refines n closes in n inits nice to see my face emerging from the canvas(only its board not canvas)people walk in n make commentsan old scottish guy makes some funny cracksha ha art n musicwe listen to some spacious piano music by old whatsisnameah youd know who i meant if you heard itthe french guy in the twenties monsieur whatsisnameanyway (satie!)deadline this fridaymust go back for one more sitting tuesday nightonly i mainly standandrew is such a lovely mani wish he would bloody win the big prizenah! thatd just be too damn unlikely, wouldnt it?
do another sitting for andrew h today
for the big art prize
hes got 3 big pictures of me going n
small portraits of me all around the studio
andrew is one of the nicest guys i ever met
a true artist no matter what
the real deal
authenticity
his place is light n breezy
ocean zephyrs blow thru the white rooms
i discuss my face with andrew
he says “theres lots of concave isnt there?”
hed been doing me too big n hard
i point out small things to him
but hes doing a nice job
interesting to see how he works
painting in a drab greeny brown
swishing it all away with a turpsy rag
he does portraits the way i do
he starts with a very rough thing
and then he refines n refines n closes in n in
its nice to see my face emerging from the canvas
(only its board not canvas)
people walk in n make comments
an old scottish guy makes some funny cracks
ha ha
art n music
we listen to some spacious piano music by old whatsisname
ah youd know who i meant if you heard it
the french guy in the twenties monsieur whatsisname
anyway
(satie!)
deadline this friday
must go back for one more sitting tuesday night
only i mainly stand
andrew is such a lovely man
i wish he would bloody win the big prize
nah!
thatd just be too damn unlikely, wouldnt it?
deadmans hand ep
been working on deadmans hand ep (duh!)out at timssorry no blog yessaday …i was knackeredgot 3 really good new songs ready for yagonna be giving this away at gigs in u.s.really u#23 ish songsthey said it couldnt be doneyou know whati found me a new singing stylea new way of writing wordstim n me what a pairwhat a modus operandiwe sculpt songs from the living rock itselfwords fly to me outta i know not wherewho whispers all these words to mewe worked on these songsthe gardenerstardustdakotathe kickermellotronguitarama i played pedal bass today…its a huge soundtim changes things all the timei write n write n writenow i’m tired now i need to replenish my thoughtsnow i need to relax a littleits been a long daywow i worked hardgee me n tim are goodthe weathers nice toosee ya tomorrowsk
been working on deadmans hand ep (duh!)
out at tims
sorry no blog yessaday …i was knackered
got 3 really good new songs ready for ya
gonna be giving this away at gigs in u.s.
really u#23 ish songs
they said it couldnt be done
you know what
i found me a new singing style
a new way of writing words
tim n me what a pair
what a modus operandi
we sculpt songs from the living rock itself
words fly to me outta i know not where
who whispers all these words to me
we worked on these songs
the gardener
stardust
dakota
the kicker
mellotron
guitarama
i played pedal bass today…its a huge sound
tim changes things all the time
i write n write n write
now i’m tired
now i need to replenish my thoughts
now i need to relax a little
its been a long day
wow i worked hard
gee me n tim are good
the weathers nice too
see ya tomorrow
sk
vapourised
somedays i feel there is nothing left to writeyou know it allyou know me through n through dont you you read about how i single handedly saved rocknrollbut as i was about to claim my rewardssome strange quirk undid me i was robbedif only if only if onlyif only oncei sold my lies to you and charged you for poetrywho me….nah….i never done any of that stuff i saidwrestling boas in some mayan jungle…who me….?i been sitting here all alonglook i never ever left canberrai just made it all up what i wantedand somehow you the audience came to lifewith lives you imagine youre havinglook theres nothing out there but a soft quiet afternoonthe house is empty and mercifully silenti alone with meall of us sitting hereon the other end of some computerthe real steve kilbey died in a horrific crashthey have a contest to replace himyou dont see him for a whilesuddenly they bring on this new geezera spritely old coot bearing little resemblance to his supposed former selfsuddenly there he is everywherewith his white beard n floaty hairwhatever happened to the real guy?he must of written loads of po before he go, you kno?i mean thats the stuff theyre dishing out now kilbos old stuffi mean i’m saying i’m not himit was a different man etceven tho those are not my words or anybodyskilbey was a construct designed by engineersbut they got the ratios wrongtoo much malarkey not enough “oooh mama its satday nite!’anyway i must be raving on againi’m glad they let me use this ancient computer once a weekin herein my tower where i am imprisoned within my own lifei never did yogai never wrote songsi never smoked dopei never even kissed a girl i’m a doctored photoi’m a whole pack of lies for a poker […]
somedays i feel there is nothing left to write
you know it all
you know me through n through dont you
you read about how i single handedly saved rocknroll
but as i was about to claim my rewards
some strange quirk undid me
i was robbed
if only if only if only
if only once
i sold my lies to you and charged you for poetry
who me….nah….i never done any of that stuff i said
wrestling boas in some mayan jungle…who me….?
i been sitting here all along
look i never ever left canberra
i just made it all up what i wanted
and somehow you the audience came to life
with lives you imagine youre having
look theres nothing out there but a soft quiet afternoon
the house is empty and mercifully silent
i alone with me
all of us sitting here
on the other end of some computer
the real steve kilbey died in a horrific crash
they have a contest to replace him
you dont see him for a while
suddenly they bring on this new geezer
a spritely old coot bearing little resemblance
to his supposed former self
suddenly there he is everywhere
with his white beard n floaty hair
whatever happened to the real guy?
he must of written loads of po before he go, you kno?
i mean thats the stuff theyre dishing out now kilbos old stuff
i mean i’m saying i’m not him
it was a different man etc
even tho those are not my words or anybodys
kilbey was a construct designed by engineers
but they got the ratios wrong
too much malarkey not enough “oooh mama its satday nite!’
anyway i must be raving on again
i’m glad they let me use this ancient computer once a week
in here
in my tower where i am imprisoned within my own life
i never did yoga
i never wrote songs
i never smoked dope
i never even kissed a girl
i’m a doctored photo
i’m a whole pack of lies for a poker hand
i’m a guess at what a real kilbey may say
things are going wrong up here
sometimes they forget to feed me
sometimes they forget to lock me up
and i wander freely through the cities of these worlds
but like all cagey birds i cant fend for myself
i need my keepers to feed me
i need their assent
i need the stern hand of the system to guide me
i need my 3 square meals and my 2 round abouts
ha ha ha
whatever it is it aint gonna happen here
typey typey typey
should do something used full
bye-i
the gas …..but whos laughing ?
finally i meet my dental waterloomy four front upper teeth reduced to pinsto accommodate my new crowns (what a king)i spend 3 hours in the chairafter a bit of an argumentmy dentist gives me the maximum gaswhile he drills my teeth awayand takes impressions etcmeanwhile where do i go…?i recede away from this world as is my wonti breathe in the gas and i evaporate behind my screaming teethi finally realize …just like the walrus said…theres nothing to get hung aboutaction seems unnecessaryall my wriggling jiggling where will it get me but the gravei dissociate from myselfwhoever i am todaywherever i wasits 2010 the distant futuremy mouth is full of chemicalspre-anestheticanesthetic itselfimpression pastemy old n rotten teeth as they are drilledglue and cloves and god knows whatthe gas mask is hurting pushing down on my partially numbed noseinside my head i think of one thousand thingsmy old lives yesor my old lies i cannot telli was a soldier who laid waste ilium covered in other mens blood i hooked charioteers with my barbed speari burned heifers to lord zeus who seemed to answer my prayersi raped the women in the cityi looted the houses and i sat back drinking red winewhile some quack stitched up my leg and my armmiles away somewhere the dentistis drill drill drilling my mouth is openmy lip is splitthe assistant sucks the saliva out of my mouththe city of sydney looms around grey n facelessmy face hurts in every worldi must write this down in my blog i say to myselvesbut what was it i wanted to write?music from a terrible radio station filters through n downdown in my head where i’m drowning in gasi walk the streets of russiai live in my little apartment where i drink teai am quite madbut i write lovely […]
finally i meet my dental waterloo
my four front upper teeth reduced to pins
to accommodate my new crowns
(what a king)
i spend 3 hours in the chair
after a bit of an argument
my dentist gives me the maximum gas
while he drills my teeth away
and takes impressions etc
meanwhile where do i go…?
i recede away from this world as is my wont
i breathe in the gas and i evaporate behind my screaming teeth
i finally realize …just like the walrus said…
theres nothing to get hung about
action seems unnecessary
all my wriggling jiggling where will it get me but the grave
i dissociate from myself
whoever i am today
wherever i was
its 2010 the distant future
my mouth is full of chemicals
pre-anesthetic
anesthetic itself
impression paste
my old n rotten teeth as they are drilled
glue and cloves and god knows what
the gas mask is hurting
pushing down on my partially numbed nose
inside my head
i think of one thousand things
my old lives yes
or my old lies i cannot tell
i was a soldier who laid waste ilium
covered in other mens blood
i hooked charioteers with my barbed spear
i burned heifers to lord zeus
who seemed to answer my prayers
i raped the women in the city
i looted the houses
and i sat back drinking red wine
while some quack stitched up my leg and my arm
miles away somewhere the dentist
is drill drill drilling
my mouth is open
my lip is split
the assistant sucks the saliva out of my mouth
the city of sydney looms around grey n faceless
my face hurts in every world
i must write this down in my blog i say to myselves
but what was it i wanted to write?
music from a terrible radio station filters through n down
down in my head where i’m drowning in gas
i walk the streets of russia
i live in my little apartment where i drink tea
i am quite mad
but i write lovely music on my piano
its cold today
i’m freezing in here
the music i write turns into birds that fly away
the snow falls down outside and i am quietly sad
i see myself in the mirror
some shadow in the candlelight
the sound of horses and sleighs
the taste of stale bread
no firewood left
the grate grows cold
i retire to my bed to keep warm
even sleep does not come
i lie awake in some confused reverie
when the drill interrupts my life
the dentists is saying
can you open a little wider please
i long for it to end
all of it
the lights in my eyes
the noise inside my mouth
resonating in enamel
the sensation of helplessness
finally its over
i stumble out into cold daylight
and walk about 5 kms in a daze
i take codeine when i get home
more drugs
more haze
more daze
less days
far q
postcard from heatwavepalms clouds turbulence red roofs green trees white flowersdogbark birdsing catcreepi am hurting hurting hurtingdont read on if you dont want to hold my breathoh i feel 1000 years oldthe dying summer has flared up into a burning ballive fled sleep i left it aching on the bedi pull on my mansuitand its all torn n damagedmy lip wont heal upmy heel giving me lipmy bones feel like they been x-rayed by firei’d eat lethargy on toast but i ran outta breaddont read on if you dont want to read ondont complain of my paindont threaten me now i’m in beyonddoctor my I’ssea accept mesky why wont you cryi accomplish nothingi wish for nothingi long for nothingnessremove me from the constant this or thati thought that life was a bowl of cherries…once….flyscreen rips off in the windone more billone more callone more messageone more waitingone more lifeone more universe one more infinity of infinitiesi been myself so many timesi want outi want ini want it all n i cant wait much longerwhat do you want me to wanti’ll tell you what i wantenergyi want energy all youve gotgive it to me ha you cantall your energy couldnt touch my sidesevery word i think of is 1 million caloriesthink of me as angelic beastmy appetites are the purest dew from the dirtiest puddlebut i’m a wingless beast (now)i cant fly except in somebody elses stupid dreamsa bedraggled hide cages an eternal strengthwhen i say look out you better look outbut i wont say it todayso go awayyes go away and leave here in this silvery heati am ulysses 4 grantedi sailed away babyi am on my voyage nowmy voyage round the traps and dips my journey to the eastthe eastern suburbs i meanwhatever happened to whatsisname anywayand all the […]
postcard from heatwave
palms clouds turbulence
red roofs green trees white flowers
dogbark birdsing catcreep
i am hurting hurting hurting
dont read on if you dont want to hold my breath
oh i feel 1000 years old
the dying summer has flared up into a burning ball
ive fled sleep
i left it aching on the bed
i pull on my mansuit
and its all torn n damaged
my lip wont heal up
my heel giving me lip
my bones feel like they been x-rayed by fire
i’d eat lethargy on toast but i ran outta bread
dont read on if you dont want to read on
dont complain of my pain
dont threaten me now i’m in beyond
doctor my I’s
sea accept me
sky why wont you cry
i accomplish nothing
i wish for nothing
i long for nothingness
remove me from the constant this or that
i thought that life was a bowl of cherries…once….
flyscreen rips off in the wind
one more bill
one more call
one more message
one more waiting
one more life
one more universe
one more infinity of infinities
i been myself so many times
i want out
i want in
i want it all n i cant wait much longer
what do you want me to want
i’ll tell you what i want
energy
i want energy all youve got
give it to me ha you cant
all your energy couldnt touch my sides
every word i think of is 1 million calories
think of me as angelic beast
my appetites are the purest dew
from the dirtiest puddle
but i’m a wingless beast (now)
i cant fly except in somebody elses stupid dreams
a bedraggled hide cages an eternal strength
when i say look out you better look out
but i wont say it today
so go away
yes go away and leave here in this silvery heat
i am ulysses 4 granted
i sailed away baby
i am on my voyage now
my voyage round the traps and dips
my journey to the east
the eastern suburbs i mean
whatever happened to whatsisname anyway
and all the other whatsisnames
oh i grow tired just reckoning them
as countless as the molluscs in a stale pool
as hopeless as all the fucking muggles with their beer n tv
as oafish as a cartoon buffoon or paltry paltroon
the hoi fucking polloi
the nouveau stupid
the modern zeitgeist heist
some call me faustus
some call me steve
some call me nothing
which do you believe?