The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

yawn
maybe i am keeping 50 people happy
how many was baudelaire keeping happy?
how many was vincent van go go keeping happy?
at least its 50 more than you ,mr anonymous
there are many ways to measure success and failure
money is one way
hey i made enough money to get here
and never work for the man
and all the ideas i work on are from my own head
i have dreampt up stuff to keep me going
i know you didnt really want an answer
but there you go
i realise your own frustrations cause you to lash out
at people you perceived as being “loved”
sometimes everyone feels like that
your complete lack of talent n your tiny penis have not helped
never mind
you now made the grade
bickering with a washed up rockers die-hard fans
such a hollow triumph
or did you feel good?
meanwhile in bondi
the washed up rocker has celebrated chrimbo too hard
yoga n swimming have been neglected
and lying around groaning is being pursued
i watch my 3 kids take ricky apart on a windy park
at the edge of the great ocean
but i am powerless to help him
as they ride, pummel and buck
eve is really going for it
and the baby runs around squealing in excitement
but im lying on a park bench half asleep
under a grey low sky
i wake up every now n then confused
to see my kids giving ricky a good razz
the kids are all tanned…n evie freckling
scarlet has a golden colour on her face
she truly is the most exquisite kid
she hurts her foot and i carry her
she gives me tiny little kisses
and whispers i love you dad
i say if you keep doing that
i’ll keep on carrying you…..
yes
i am proud of my daughters
they are bloody lovely
and unlike me
they get on well with everyone
any one of em
could be a prime minister
or an incredible actress
or a famous artist
or a really good friend
its like nature has corrected all the design errors in me
and got it right in them
less the hostility and bitterness that plagues me
my kids are loved and they know it
thats what i can do for my family
i dont come home drunk n violent
i dont slap their mother about
i dont gamble and play around
i’m there for em most of the time
i wasnt for elli n minna n thats a terrible thing
thats one benefit of being a washed up rocker
no day job
oh i’d take one if i could
yes
to try and get ahead i would
if there was a job i could do
but there isnt
and i’d ruin it for the others working there
so dont wish me on the work force
still
one has to do what one has to do
and i will
(whatever it takes at the time)
blah blah blah
how silly of me to explain myself
as if you dont already know
youd never dare to say these things to my face
because then i’d look you in the eye
and answer you
and you wouldnt like my answer
your advice to me
is like me advising bob dylan what to do
its null n void
itd be like me advising you about your investments
itd be like a herring in the northern sea
telling a panther what to do
a mangy one but a panther none the less
remaining in the ruins of ecstasy
grooving out his terminal buzz
and look
i thought maybe you would understand this
the whales are optional
eject the whales
when youre cruising down a shuddering highway
and your top is rolled down
and youre grooving
suddenly them whales start up
(first thing: are they actually whales?)
second thing : would you rather 20 minutes of silence?)
just eject it
you dont HAVE to listen to em
you got painkiller for 3 bucks
n berate me for it?
as if i fucking care how much you paid for it
i’m busy planning new stuff
im gonna have an exhibition
and every painting will have words n music attached
is that moving on?
i’m working on gb3
im working on k/k
we’re finishing the churchs new album
blah blah
you know it all
i fight the good fight
armed with my ideas
i am allowed a little destructive leeway
from my admirers
because i have created so much
but you…..?
cant you see what a fool you are?

the day after christmas
whoah!
nk made roast vegan chrimbo dinner
in attendance nelg
thee mr ricky
jlk
ak n ek
lil sk
warm warm night
people out n partying
see guy dancing with/ doing his girlfriend in a window
english kids at the bankomat
talking about cocaine too loud
talking about this n that
greedy killer what have you done
we party on till 6 oclock in the morning
we have a cup of coffee and sit outside
watching the moving jumping stars
we see a guy practicing these waltz steps on his own
we hear someone violently puke
we watch as all the lights go off
only when morning is touching the sky
with her rosy fingers
do we finally retire into the house
nk has her party mix on
i hear autosleeper by chapterhouse
i hear the verve
i hear grants far out corporation
we play black ryders album over n over
the black ryders (unfinished?) album
jesus…its transcendent …
nk keeps going oh this is my favourite track
and playing them over n over
the black ryder are scott von rypers band
with aimee nash of course(spelling?)
they shoegaze and implode in sweet sweet music
wow we dig this record immensely
its become a firm fave for these intoxi-nites
supplanting even the stooges
there is no higher compliment i think
than to listen to music high
this black ryder is sweet sometimes sickly sweet
its naive and knowing
its innocent and burnt out
things are submarine
theres no clarity
everything floats n wafts or is frazzled
its like an x ray of a rock band
everything appears at once
the record is impossibly “druggy”
without probably ever mentioning it
i cant really hear that much of the singing
its not necessarily necessary
of course thee mr ricky is playing on it too
jesus hes on glen bennies album too
looping and going backwards n all his usual tricks
ricky and i share an aesthetic
we understand
we love
we always using
the drone
that note which goes thru everything
painkiller 2….
scott plays some lonesome lonely slide guitar
hes a subtle kind of guy
softly spoken
a real olde fashioned gentleman
his guitaring seems to partially represent this
maymi on the other hand
a passionate arrogant bloke with conviction
his guitar playing is like that
he and scott n william get all merged up
you cant tell where one ends n the other begins
this delights el maymo
who loves getting lost in the other instruments
maymi n i
we both love stuff like
spaceman 3
spectrum
spiritualized
loop
neu
ride
straitjacket fits
bill nelson
the underground lovers
the triffids
eno n fripp
its not about your prestige on the lead guitar
its about the creation of atmosphere
thats what we do
create atmospheres
painkiller 2 is enough atmosphere to breathe
but be careful
it could make you lightheaded
we attempt to conjure up the feeling
of being out of your mind on dope n speed
or the flickering formless chaos of falling asleep
the acid explosion
the final victory of unconsciousness
rah rah rah!

its a lovely day here
nothings ever perfect
but there you go
warm day
its cloudy
a day to drift
flowers
trees
birds
sky
children
its quiet oh so quiet
i wear a flannelette shirt n shorts i cut off from longs
i am tanned n freckly
i type type type
soon will go down the beach
what else can you do on chrimbo day?
watch the paleskinburn
watch the macho ritual
watch the fake tans fake boobs n fake smiles
none of us believe we will ever have to leave
but in one years time who will be left?
i will be in the moment therefore
i will not long for christmas gone
nor some future time when my ship comes in (again)
i will paint n paint
i must paint 30 pics by march
i gotta nexxybishun in pittsburgh
art man technology
yeah…should be able to extrapolate sumthing
painkiller mk 2 is great
a perfect canvas to work on
hey i bet ricky could think up an overdub or 3
paint
painkiller 2
do k/k 2
i dunno
go down beach
loadsa strange types
ugly little geezers with beautiful wives
english tourists wearing santa hats
queueing up for the disco
theyre gonna get sloshed n outta of their skulls
theyre gonna fry n fall in love n wake up feeling sick
theyre gonna jump about to the incessant doof doof doof
as a million twenty sumfings from europa
jam themselves into the pavilion of dreams
the sun beats down hard
the eccy comes on hard
the music is hard
you stumble into the sea youre twenty three
youre from spain or italy
youre in bondi outta your tree
you drinkin’ booze you dropped an e
the palm trees are nodding at ya
the sun xrays your soft naive skin
you have everything in a backpack in a locker
your passport
your ticket
your condoms
your money
your good shirt thats nearly clean
your postcard from your dad n sister
your directions to a hostel in the junction
an all day bus pass
someones phone number in manly
a receipt thats unreadable
the sun beats down
much stronger than at home
it beats down through the clouds regardless
it presses on your forehead like a burning iron
the sea is cold and clear
youre not used to the waves
they knock you sideways
you go down easy
the water is salty in your throat
it hurts your eyes and fills your ears
you crawl out
and eventually get back into the dance party
you french kiss some english girl
you give an irish bird a chinese burn
you talk italian n drink scotch
you have a japanese beer with a chinese chick
some hottie gives you the cold shoulder
or was she fainting
the music just pumps on n on
like a huge robotic lover
you cant tell whats happening
people yell in your ear
people crash against you
youre in….where….australia…?!
the worlds gonna end in 4 years…less than that now
its fucking christmas day
youre sunburnt even with yer olive skin
youre wearing a pair of shorts and a fcuk tshirt
your name is julio
or stefan
or jimmy
or moondog
or whatever it is
it doesnt matter any more
it never did
you see that now
nothing matters
but that sun
that music
that stranger kissing you
that sweat soaking your skin
that collective sway n push of the crowd
the
noise
the beer
the e
the confusion
palm trees, clouds
out there families eating christmas dinner
people dying in hospital on xmas day
people working down mines
people blowing up rubber swimming pools
people riding scooters
people skypeing their mum
people sleeping it off
people with aching backs
people with sore throats
people with a good feeling
people listening to painkiller 2
me n ricky listen back to painkiller 2
15 minute
18 minute tracks
it rolls out n on
its like a loada stuff at once
scarlets in the bath playing with her shark set
this aint a shark she says
tossing me the hammerhead
yes it is! i say
no…this is a shark! (holding up the big great white)
yeah yeah
i got a new guitar strap n some candy
ok
might have some right now
ha ha ha
bah humbug!

my dearest subjects
and objects
chrimbo is upon us
a time when one reflects upon the events of the year
and reaches for another slice of brandy soaked chrimbo pudding
mmm (burp)
pardon me….
a time to recap
recap any objects you pay have left the cap off of
or recap your cap gun
the cap sat on the map
go cap in hand and head in cap (if theres room)
get caps for your teeth
buy a white hippy moses beard from greedyba$tard @avarice.lime
tomorrow is santas little boys birthday
and everyone will eat roast rain dear
and santa will fly thru the skies on his slay
pulled by a flock of wild turkeys
or is santa slayed by the wild turkey
and dropped all his toys
that man aint getting down my chimney no more
santa claws oooh hes a mean old man
i prefer santa fe
at least they have an “artsy” community there…
me….?
i just noticed that darling scarlet
has scribbled on eves face
that has taken me a long time to do
hmmmmm…..
i rub at scribble hopefully…
nope…its biro n it aint moving!
darn little goose!
scarlet may be the colour of her botty after this…..
(fifty lashes and bread n water)
yeah
anyway
(just letting it go…)
chrimbo chrimbo
when we celebrate with tinsel
which represents our true deep inner feelings
and we chop down small pine trees
to symbolize new life
and we chuck em out on the street 5th of jan
to symbolize the new year
and we eat dead chicken to symbolize merriment
and we kiss aunty maude who we hate
to symbolize chrimbos power
to make you do things you hate
and
we give gifts to celebrate that fellas birthday
only it isnt actually his birthday
it was some other holiday before that
n
someone thought…hmmmm…
these pagan bastards, they really enjoy their winter shin digs
so lets combine it with chrimbo…n it’ll be wholly holy (with holly)
(jolly too)
can you imagine being satan claws n being jolly all the fuckin’ time?
ho ho bastard ho! whattya want for chrimbo you snotty nosed little brat?
what ? a mega ipod and a full set of gen-o-side war games?
how old are ya? what? 4?
ok can you take a little time to read these conditions?

(in small print)
SANTA CLAUSE 666
THIS PRODUCT WILL MAKE YOU BLIND
AND THEN
ITS GONNA MAKE YOU CRAWL
ITS GONNA MAKE YOU BAWL AND SHOUT
ITS GONNA CAUSE A BLACK SLIMY DISCHARGE FROM YOUR NOSTRILS
IT CONTAINS PIECES OF EIGHT AND TRACES OF JEALOUSY
IT IS 15 CENTS REDEEMABLE IN CAL OR S.A.
IT IS MADE IN GENUINE SWEAT SHOP CONDITIONS
BY TINY TIM-LIKE ORPHANS
USING ALIEN TECHNOLOGY
SUPP LIED BY THE GRAYS TO THE REPTILIANS
FOR PURPOSES
OF BUGGERING UP MOTHER EARTH
PLEASE DRY CLEAN ON BLACK FRIDAYS ONLY
NON TOXIC IF YOURE A SWALLOW(EXCEPT CAPISTRANO)
NO RESPONSIBILITY TAKEN ONLY MONEY
MADE IN KNOCKED DOWN BITS OF THE AMAZON
MADE FROM NARWHALS HORN N SNOW TIGERS BALLS
TESTED ON BABIES N OLD LADIES IN ROMANIAN DUNGEONS
CONTEST NOT OPEN TO FAMILIES OR FRIENDS OF THE FOLLOWING:
VIET CONG
BLACK SEPTEMBER
IRA
MAFIA
JACUZZI
TRIPLE SEC
WHITE SOUP REAMISTS
WEATHERCOCKS
TERRY-ISTS
ROUNDHEADS
BLACK REBEL UNICYCLE CLUB (AND THEIR DAD)
THE TENDER GARDENERS
ANYONE WHO EVER THOUGHT A NAUGHTY THOUGHT ABOUT THE U.S.
ANY COMMIES OR PINKOS
ANY FOREIGNERS OR STRANGERS
ANY ONE WHO HAD A HEART
ANY ONE ELSE NOT ALREADY MENTIONED
GORE FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY
LAUNCHER SOLD SEPARATELY
NOT RECOMMENDY FOR PACIFISTS OR PESSI-MISTS
NOT FOR SALE IN LEMURIA EXCEPT ON PRESCRIPTION
COMES WITH OWN APPLICATOR IN 3 FLAVOURS
ETC
ETC
I AM A TOTAL DICKNOSE
AND I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY
SIGNED………..
DATED…………
WITNESSED………….

you stuff your gifts into someones stockings
and you notice the fairy on the tree is watching you
you kneel and ask mary for guidance
you hear footsteps on the roof
get this!
a cat wearing some kinda paramilitary red n white jumpsuit
is sliding down your chimney
he explodes through your gas heater in soot n sparks n reindeer manure
ho ho bastard ho
its quite a mantra isnt it
chrimbo is a time of festive joyous feelings
but drink plenty of water and take vitaman x the next day
chrimbo is a time of hauling holly to the decks
and gold and the other two things
and orient-r which is a great bar in kilbeyville
and chrimbo is a time of adoration
just find something to adore or to a door
or even to do
chrimbo is a time of flying reindeer and candy cane
so take it seriously
santas flight routes have been approved
however he may bypass turkish kurdish boarders
and drop in on the la hareem club in downtown saudi arabia
give me some speed n give the deer ones some snow
chrimbo is a time of returning unwanted books and
arguing with some toffee nosed git to get a refund
chrimbo is a time of talking to olde grande aunt flo
about her lil’ will….
chrimbo is a time of drinking loadsa grog n shlurring yer shpeech
chrimbo is a time of bonging on n on in fronna the telly
n eating toast n corn flakes
while it rains
or bakes
or grimly freezes
your nuts right off yer nutcracker
chrimbo is a time of abject loneliness n being uninvited
(like the freakin’ clowns, baybee)
chrimbo is a time of remembering what an utter utter bastard
olde king herod was
hence
hark the herod angels shrink!
and
chrimbo is a time of merriment
thats getting drunk
and its a time of celebration
thats getting drunk too
and forgetting and forgiving
by getting drunk
and remembering…..
um…
and chrimbo is a time of midnight mass
oooh creepy
i wonder if they have any more of that wine there
or those cute little wafers
everyone loves chrimbo especially the tinsel makers
n the candy cane guys
and that sweet fairy among the trees
and the flashing red lights in kings cross
and the lovely decorations in cardboard city
and shanty town
and the ex-cons can be santas too! protesters
and to our lovely land lady
with her strange properties
where everything
goes up n up n up n up
including my chrimbo finger
chrimbo is a time of taking and giving em hell
chrimbo is a few days off work so who cares what it is
chrimbo is me
and chrimbo is you
you giving subscribing donating
to me
go on or i’ll tell farther christmas
so the time being can cook his own goose
and the doodles n woofle
get all they deserve
ah!
merry merry chrimbo then
and all through this house
no creature is stirring
not even big fat black cockroach
stuck in a roachmotel
without his credit card
oh deer!
goodnight rudolph
i have a red nose ALL year round!

well
a smallish but enthusiastic crowd
we played well
me raggedly but enthusiastically
we improvised a little more than last time
same set list
well received
very happy tho i wish more there
the wonderful sue c (n husband)
the marvellous iseult
the astonishing big smiles kate
who did indeed have big smiles
the dynamic duo lady di n therese
in matching blue n pink seance shirts
anakki bloody mayhem
(what a little stunner!)
who was sufficiently inspired to
form her own group)
my brother russell (who i slept with)
and lovely amy scully

capt mission
sir david r , prince among accountants
george the handsomest cabbie in the world
petaluma who did my merch
nelg looking healthy
margot smith
a lovely lady who gave me a bottle of jaeger
i wasnt expecting it
and the boys n i sat
absentmindedly drinking the stuff
backstage
and hit the straps half pissed
my bass was outta tune n tuner not working
i made a few mistakes in my half pissed
cookied up, slightly speeding
excited nervous condition
we had some great jams
ricky switched on his raagini
(an artificial tamboura drone)
and i sang hey krishna hey rama
hey vishnu narayana
i felt some energy pour into my sweaty head
little lights lit up on my bass
showing me where to put my fingers
an autocue spewed the words behind my eyes
everything was swimming before my eyes
the band pounded down like a beauty
william bowden…what a find!
scott von ryper …ditto
ricky maymi who is sick of reading his fuckin’ name
on this fuckin’ blog….hes a modest guy
but he rocks with a vengeance
he loves anything
droning
surging
modulating
oscillating
echoing
repeating
looping
he is the nazz
and the ultimate good vibes man
scott had a perfect gig from where i stood
i’m not sure what those 2 were doing a lot of the time
but i sure loved it so i let it wash over me
like the shoalhaven river just near braidwood
william called in the random spirits of the air
teepee the drummer
was huge
he did his usual incredible gig
what a drummer!
a rock i could n can depend on
4 very nice human beings
each excelling in some particular area
before the show
i did an interview with noise tv
watch sbs next weekend
i was a little over the top
some of my personae escaped
including
a curt n poufy tv presenter
a drunken scotsman berating the music biz
(complete with bad accent)
a drunken snobby old english git
a fool
an idiot
and a cretinous moron
all gleefully portrayed by moi
my wife was there
she looked beautiful
and was enthusiastic about my performance
and showed her appreciation in many ways
i did ok with merch
but didnt sell many prints
but sold a few cards
unfortunately (holly)
i gave some prints to the band for chrimbo
and one to m kennedy…
other painkiller facts
after strong smell in club
we were told to smoke our dope outside…
we said : we are smoking it outside!
*
for dinner i had bruschetta chips n pumpkin n macadamia soup
ricky scott n william all smoke cigarettes
william n tim like red wine
scott likes beer
i like jaeger
*
according to babysitter
the doodles went down easy
but the woofle batted on
n on n on n on
feeling good n refreshed today
guess what
*
i have 3 cds of new painkiller to listen to
i aint heard it before
this is whole band on second album…raw material
*
jorden brebach did a great mix!
hes also currently mixing new c. album
in his orange room studio in surry hills
*
i incorporated chrimbo carols into some songs
*
i wore a painkiller t shirt
my free david jones jeans
black socks
black boots
black underpants
two gold earrings
an expression of bewilderment
*
my bass being outta tune threw me for a loop
i was confused during first n second song
my e string was miles out
*
we finished on every hour god sends
grant came up with that title
when i was mocking him saying
grant works every hour god sends…that poor man…
he turned it around
it could be the theme song for 21 12 2012
*
i’m goin’ swimming now n taking the girls
bye

i

deep in the desert
no no no
those mad singing women
the congas
the bongoes
the rainsticks
the rippling electric piano
the real piano as if submerged
the sand slowly fills up the glass
dont try n understand me
oh you never will
let me wash over you like the shoalhaven river
let my words hold you up
let me drive for a hundred miles deeper
take me back in time oh i know you cant
i feel alone in the crowd
i dont know how they stand it
i walk along with my shadow in the mesa
i talk to myself as i drink from my canteen
i try to learn to play the bass again in my bedroom
i try to remember english and how it is spoken
i get stoned with ricky but hes lost in his loop
am i a musician
am i a tragedian
am i an olde insane childe
whispering my imaginary friends name through my beard
my fingers and my throat get sore
what do these words n notes mean
which kilbey chose em n why
i am disconnected
i am not at home
i grin like a fool but i’m empty as a shell can ever be
my friends at the pool
miha as good king wenceslas
cam as billy the fucking kid
mark as an alchemist or apothecary
eddie as amazonian shaman
mick as confucious
paul as one of the earps
everyone as someone else
everything out of place n dislocated
the wind blows down hard on eden
i type n type but i dont say much
i struggle to resume consciousness
i fathom the metric system
i just put anything down at all
its easy go on try
i hear thunder on a quiet day
sydney , goodbye, i cant go on anymore
cable schmabel
pick me up in the air waves to night
i am always here
i am never there
please
your response is un needed
go on
say something
evaporate
or go bust

hold him down boys
c’mon give us some truth
another voice : tell us something we dont know
yet another voice : …n we might letcha go…..
ok
ok ok
i am a free lance unemployed renaissance man
i was born in 1954
gee that makes me…..
voice : old!
the early years of my life were uneventful
apart from several bank robberies
2 revolutions
and a volcano
things were pretty much the same as all kids
i worked down the mines and i drank whisky
voice : c’mon we already know all this…!
i am the 1st son of a 1st son of a 1st son
i bank with the riverbank
i shop at the enchanted hollow tree
i write songs about the time and the distance
voice : which time….which distance…?
well err uh….there are many times
8.11 in the morning for example….
or 1492
when columbus sailed the ocean turquoise
and the distance is
the distance between you and me
i mean you metaphysically
not literally
and by literally i mean….
voice : tell us about your little gang
what….?
another voice : tell us about david neil…..
yet another voice : and your sister kathy…
ok ok
you see its a mild morning here
voice : and….?
and small fluffy clouds ponce about in the sky
while the effeminate sun hides coquettishly behind
the pink pink pink moon
voice : this had better be leading somewhere, kilbey…
yes and the palms are chattering their teeth
and a cactus has gone in for a towel
the sandy soil whistled in a gravelly voice
another voice : tell us about the south american warlords son….!
oh yeah he’s harmless
voice : we hear hes carrying a ragini and a stylophone these days
another voice : jesus boss, this guy has a stylophone…?
voice : thats right….isnt it, kilbey…
yet another voice : tell us bout the vampyre…
another voice : and the scientist….
voice : and the whales too…where did you meet them
another voice : are you aware that a mr simon polinski
of some leafy suburb, melbourne
is under house arrest
and has signed a sworn confession : ie
fucking kilbey fucking did it! the utter bastard….!
voice : you better come clean, mister
ok ok
this is the truth
i am an alien
i never wrote utmw
it is the national anthem of my people, the xanxians
who live in a far corner of the sky
(some of us have round shoulders)
i cant remember if i cried
when i read about his winnowed bride…
voice : this is more like it…
i raised by a gas gas gas
in the year 2525 if man is still alive
we got 4 years TODAY!
exactly
4 years stuck on your eyes
here comes that rainy day feeling again
and if your love is true
i will give to you
every part of me
voice : we can use this….
going to the movies only makes me sad
fixing a hole in the ocean
i feel just like jesus son
jesus christ superstar
away in a manger
a crib for a bed
when i’m rushing on my run
over fields we go
laughing all the way
its my life
and
its my wife
tell my wife i love her very much
she knows
something in the things she shows me
and i really dont care anymore
following yonder star
little jesus are you watching me?
its becoming very clear
that you shouldnt be here….
round yon virgin
mother n child reunion is only a motion away
in a manger
little lord jesus laid down his sweet head
but he never lost his head
lying in the dark like an angel on my chest
i tell myself i am the cosmos
i am the october man i dream of many things
i saw three ships go sailing by
i sing the body electric
i am i am i am
voice : go on..are you getting all this, brad..?
a white moon appeared
watching the whole world
through the peculiar hole in the sky
you see this sky
this skies in love with you
scuse me while i kiss this sky
look at the stupid girl
shes like somewhere over the rainbow
something in the way she moves
she moves through the fair
she dont belong here anymore learn this the hard way
she aches just like a woman with a reason
may nothing you dismay
jesus christ was born today
jesus christ was born
voice : thats probably enough…
until the 12th of never
goodbye goodbye goodbye
voice : its not what you say..
gazing at you i see the heat

voice of another kilbey
whisper whisper whisper
fragment of fictional memory
what is lurking beneath ordinariness
kilbey lost his mind
i have commandeered this page
i am not him
he is not me
there are millions of us in every direction
kilbeys to kingdom come on
as far as the I can see
tragic isnt it
the mechanistics are in place
the stars are aligned
the scorpion will move into the crab
the lion will lay down on the lam
one and only kilbey
no he has split up now
no one reads on saturday
the sound of the wind in a letterbox
people leave in a hurry
the holidays stretch on ahead
they will roll in the surf
they will fuck in hotels
they will drink in the hot black australian night
they will drive on lonely roads
they will be stuck in traffic
they will swell out and disperse
they will play cards at night in caravans
they will argue with the sunburnt landlords
they will stop for fuel and a piss
they will stop n look at scenic spots
my dad will be out there driving
somewhere in melbourne
asking for directions to a moorabin he can never seem to find
and grant will be sittin’ at a bar drinking his long island tea
and david mccomb will be sitting in a hot room writing some song
about how his baby has disappeared into the bush
and mozart will be checking in to his room at batemans bay
and paul klee will be cruising down the great ocean road
kilbey youre losing it mate
kilbey to earth
everything coated with fuzz or scum
a caramel coating dipped with angelfruit
yeah oh i forgot
lemuria
how are the rents there these days?

i been living here in bondi 6 years now
and although i got used to the “glamour”
i got used to the squalor too
i got used to living in a substandard grotty place
with no garden…just a concrete yard
with windows that dont open prop’ly
with no water pressure
with a small 3 bedroom apt
on paper thin floor boards
so you can hear everything downstairs
(n boy how loud it must be for them:
the doodles must sound like stampeding buffalo
when theyre running around)
im used to it being blasting hot in summer
i’m used to freezing my what -nots off in winter
and huddling round the oven to get warm
i been used to the incessant cockroaches n ants n mozzies
i been used to the worn out carpet n linoleum
i been used to the noisy buggers below n next door
and i been considerate not to blast music at odd hours
(except the other night when the gutter twins came on
full bore at 2 in the morning…it was the alarm on my pod!)
yeah its a grotty place we been living
no storage no built in wardrobes no nothing
a horrible dishwasher we never use
but
i had the pool
and
the pool
and
the pool
oh how i love the pool
yes i do
i do love that pool
i love the water
i love the sauna
i love all my mates n the old blokes
i love the deep endorphin hit of twenny laps n a sauna
i love walking there across the beach
yeah i love it
it has re shaped n defined me
but
a couple of days ago
i got a letter in the mail
from the real estate office
they have been instructed because of rising prices
in all sectors
to raise the rent
70 dollars a week!
my grand total now being with garage about $666 a week
(its true)
660 bucks for a very mediocre little dump
a nice balcony
a nice sunroom
but…..660 bucks…?!
and to let us know the week before christmas…
its real fucken scrooge material, isnt it?
(the lady aint no christian (literally n figuratively))
shes gotten greedy
oh well
thats her problem
i aint paying 666 bucks a week
for this
especially cos i am about to start paying off le tax homme
at some crippling weekly rate
and i still neeed a new car
and i need prescription glasses
(remember i left mine in a cab after tibet do?)
and we all need to see le tooth quack
you know
all that regular family stuff
and quite frankly
seventy bucks a week for this joint
is the nail in the coffin of this episode
even if mr joe wealthy or rich subscriber
piped up
n said
i’;ll pay that extra seventy
i’m still moving out
i been squeezed out
i’m a statistic
a rent payer squeezed out of sydneys east subs
i check the internet
what else can you get round here for 666 bucks
not too bloody much
2 bedroom flats
or tiny dingy 2 bedroom terraces…if youre lucky
at least my current place had some views
n it was full o’ light
so where else can i fucking live
yes i could move down the coast n drive into syd
or up the coast
but i wanna
but i needa city
sometimes
i dont wanna be in some little parochial town
where me n natalie are the weirdest parents at school
but
adelaide…..nah
perth…nice but too far away
darwin…..not for me
canberra….yawn..i neeed the sea!
brissie….i like but too hot for nk
well lets see
hmmm
i spent some time in melbourne
gee i always liked it there
specially bayside
i got my polinski in melbourne
i got my sam s
i got my sarah l
i got my donald b
i got my glen bennies
i got my martin kennedys
i got my golden memories of moorabin days
and cakey with uncle cyril n auntie eve in acland st
i get on the net
wow
just to get some idea of rents
jaysus christ!
you can rent a 3 or 4 bedge house
with gardens n ac n heating n garage n
all the blah blah blahs for under 500 a week
and if i ever do get my deposit together
you could afford to buy something reasonable
and its bayside right
the sea air
it aint the surf
but its the sea, aint it
yeah them leafy quiet suburbs next to the bay
a new career in a new town
bondis spitting us out
i just cant pay thru the nose for a dump
i see the lovely gardens in bayside real estate
my kids come n google properties with me
they were sad about leaving
but now theyre real excited
ooohing n cooing
as we look at the nice places available
for much much less then here in bondi
with its ten million backpackers
with its ten million dog poos
with its brazilian gangsters n russian mafia
n with its blow-ins n its ten million dress shops
i’m getting out of this incessant sun
maybe i’ll go white again…
n guess what
as an added bonus
thee mr ricky is threatening to move there too
so uh
thats it
i’m gonna try n make this happen
quick!
ps
i also saw the triffids film
its great
but i’m a bit miffed
there should have been a bit more of me
they edited out a couple of vital songs
it pissed me off!
my voice is shot but i’m very animated
and ….
hey
i’m letting that go too
along with the greedy uncharitable landlady
(a monster of dickensian proportions)
and i’m gonna do something new
i hope
i hope escape bondis orbit intact
i ve had enough
and enough equals enough, right?
in spades

not feeling that creative
gonna have a few days off
see you soon
kilbey