The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

you see my fine and tender fiendss
there are always side effects to every n any thing
you drive a car
you have accidents, brake-downs
fossil fuel is going thru the roof
you have a garden then
oh you got weeds n pests n ants n crabgrass
you see
have you self a childe or 5
you get attitude you get headaches you get attached
get a band
you get arguments
you get people leaving
you get disappointments
you get disunity
you get a career in show biz
you get bad reviews
you get commisioned
you get olde…
so ok
you gotta accept the good with the bad
so one day in nov 2005
russell kilbey says
you should right a blog
me:u huh
a few days later rk says really you should write a blog
me: never ‘erd ovvit
so one day i’m reading my emails
and bless my brothers little cotton sox
but its all set up for me
all i have to do is click
bang
i was off
my first few bloggs were bloody rubbish
it hadnt dawned on me what a blog could be
but gradually we pick up shape n form
i become the time being inexorably
i write a few embarrassing puerile pathetic blogs
i write a few fucking magnificent ones too
proving i am he who am the only one
and a lot that are some good some bad
along the way it starts to occur to me
all the implications of this thing
immediately we had the old blown mystery syndrome
people didnt wanna know all that stuff about me
ok
they switched off
some people enjoyed hearing about the woofle et al
so it was ok
i experimented with honesty and personal admissions
the damn thing became my online diary
and i gave myself permission to do or say anything
however my fucking wandering moods took me
this resulted in a few ‘orrrible rants
that disgusted me as much as you:
i actually deleted one whole blog
such was is its vilenesss
yes i’d written something half drunk n very tired
in a cramped and unpleasant room
i vented forth a load of bile
that horrified me next morning
other times natch
ive knocked something off
and then next day
ive realised
hey that was pretty good
anyway
blah blah blah
we pick up some syncho-phants
we pick up some weirdos
we have a big schism over the meat thing
and a load of self righteous ninnies depart
but you know what
i never shoulda told em what to eat
fuck it all
i’m a almost vegan
i will nae ever eat meat
but if you or you pals want to
go a fucking head
i’m a vegan cos of me
cos i reckon its the smart thing to do
a lovely (real) buddhist lady from burma said to me
only be concerned about your own behaviour
dont ever worry about anyone elses sins
just concentrate on your own failings
if only everyone could do this
think how happy our world would be…
i made a mistake
i prozzle a tized to ya
do what you like
yeah thats how i feel now
i am a selfish vegan mofo
doing the right thing for the wrong reason
ok?
another thing you gotta admit
is although theres been some outrageously egotistical tripe
theres been some heartfelt self reproach too
i aint a saint
or buddha
or even buddhist
i aint a paragon of virtue
jesus i reckon i made it clear
i aint anything really
i dont advocate any thing all that much
i’m just a bumbling stumbling bloke
who happens to have written some songs
and the people who like his songs
read his blogs
if i’m standing at a water fountain
for example
and a dog (or a child)
(or an old woman)
(or a squirrel)
(or a rugby union player)
runs up and licks my face
and slurps all over the place
i’ll tell ya about it
how diz-gusted i am
and i make no bones about it
if a fucking cock roach or rat
or mynah bird
or burgler
or snake
comes in my house
i will resort to extreme measures if necessary
who wouldnt?
you see just coz i reckon the meat industry
is akin to concentration camps
and is an unhealthy immoral blight on “civilization”
it wont stop me donging you with my hammer
if you try n come in my place uninvited like a clown…
if youre a little birdy
wants to fly in my house
and (this gets some readers excited..!)
poo poo poo
then you may get your neck wrung
if youre a little doggy
having a quiet poo poo poo
in my front garden
and your owner thinks no ones looking
beware!
i am an excellent shot with a stone
i throw hard too
and if all else fails
i have been known to redeliver dog poo
express in the owners letterbox (regardless of yer zip code)
if you try to grab my kids on the beach for a photo
you may go home wearing yer camera…
yes you see
i dont believe in huge demoralising wars
but i believe in sensible solutions to small problems
i dont interfere with others
and i expect em not to interfere with me
here are my shortcomings again
old
ugly
selfish
violent
rude
greedy
envious
washed up
there thats outta the way
dont need to bring it up again
cos i just did
so
where all this is leading is…
look i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings but
we need a decent wag
really we do
and i’m officially offering a decent wag
part of the swag
look
i’m sorry to the wag that we got now
look
you were funny once rememember…
(can someone remind me…?!)
gee wag
i dont know how to tell you this but…
its just that things being what they are..
downsizing…
pressures from japanese investors
corporate decisions outta my hands
i’m sorry wag but…
im afraid i’m letting you go
yes
you can make some waggish remarks
until next monday
when you can clear out your desk
take your axe-grinder with you please
pack up all your funny one-liners
oh and please remember to take all those hilarious names
you used to make up too..
i know its a bit of a sad occasion
but really old bean
you havent been making me laugh much
laugh?
i would even accept a wry smile
but alas my faithful but dull wag
you are being retrenched
i hear bobo and the hedge are looking for a wag on their blog
i believe michael stripe may need a wag (or was that a wig?)
i believe gene simmons is interested in having a guest tongue wag occasionally
i think you could easily get a job wagging
on one of those blogs that no one reads
but …
well…
look
cant ya see i’m starting to do kinda well here
i’m frickin ratin’ in the top thirty of personal blogs
of all the malarkers writin’ their tripe each day
in this whole wide world
i…me…is getting enough readers
to hoist me up into the top thirty
i even hit fuckin’ thirteen the other day
and thats my little lucky number
of course i cant compete with some of the other bloggers
above me on yonder charts
the smacked bottom girl
the adventures of the naked gay boy in ny (not one of my personal faves)
the tips n hints on computers n printers guy
the blogs in spanish n chinese
but all in all
i do ok
i gotta lotta silent readers
who never comment
i gotta gang of regulars
but they are the tip of the 800 reader iceberg
thats right
beyond
mission
veleska
davem et al
is a huge unknown continent of readers
some of whom subscribe generously
and confide their thoughts in private
people we will never know about
many of whom NEVER read the comments
still i say
mr wag
i’m sorry
i just cant afford to have a so so wag like you on anymore
the muse is on at me to sack your ass
muse : thats true
its just that
ricki maymi jokes aint that funny
you do em over n over
like an olde fishwife serving up the same dismal dinner
oh its ricki maymi jokes again….aw…
sorry wag
we’re wanting a little change from them for a while
cant you do anything err….funny
the problem is this:
are you a proper wag
or
are you an axegrinding loser
trying to bring your ex-idol down a peg or too
because…
youve got a very small …….opinion of yerself?
(shooting n stabbing in the dark here)
so i’m not turning the anons off yet
tho it doth seem to give you a feeling of triumph ere i do
but
i will let the readers decide
Q : do we need a new wag?
LET THE PEOPLE DELIVER THEIR VERDICT:
SO BE IT!

inside is nothing
outside is nothing
some kinda seamless trick
life..well what do you know
its got us all reeling
even the smart guys like you
they warned me
they all warned me
you warned me
you all warned me
should do that
shouldn’t do that
but i’m beyond all that
you have no idea
the sky is the limit
i ride along in vans with the players
i go backstage and sit in the empty quiet green room
i see the hydraulics that animate the shows
i look in mirrors where the famous faces have all fled
the mirror is blank
the lights in the rooms flicker ever so slightly
we have our modest lunch
some soup and bread
albert drinks some green wine
rama has a little sleep
neum and i go out the back
where the alibi river flows
through marshes and factories
eventually emptying into the thankless sea
neums practicing his lines and fiddling with his strings
he idly smokes and thinks out loud
a dreamy stream of conscienceless inklings
yeah i remember so n so he says
exhaling like a lazy gryphon in the sun
yeah he was at that show we did in the park
lovely guy lovely guy…what was ‘is name again…
oh i remember ….no no…it wasnt that…
but anyway (neum went on) oh thats right..
this theatre he went to….
whole place was run by ghosts..ha ha..
no i didnt believe ‘im neither…you wait n see ‘e said
you’ll bloody laugh on the otherside of yer face then…
neum scratched his blonde/grey head and stubbed out his smoke
you know what laddie…..?
he leant in close
i could smell his aromatic menthol and camphor lilt
this is the place
right here..?
tonight !
but theres no one here…yet…
oh yes said neum …theyre here
as the afternoon grew longer and the air grew colder
i began to see
neum touched my arm once gently
as we were unfurling the screen
and he beckoned me to look…look there
and…yes….i could see
at one moment a shadow
an indentation …like a damaged mirror
like everything around it became slightly bent
like a disturbance in the surface of reality
but then as i watched
for the briefest flash
there stood a woman dressed in dark clothes
i could see every detail of her face and hair
well i’ll be …neum muttered in the darkness
of the orchestra pit
where we were working
and i tried to stifle a shiver
the air smelt momentarily of ammonia and it was gone
rama appeared at our sides
no need for unease , gentlemen he said
in his usual business as usual fashion
just carry on preparing the show…
suddenly

i’m doing 2 yoga sessions a day now
i’m walking faster n picking up speed
i’m fighting time whose very nature is dissolution
glen bennie sends me a great new track
jeffrey cain sends me another new isidore track..fab!
these guys masters in their own way
a privilege to add words to their music
i dropped my paintings off to art groupie yessaday
look i missed that arty-cle in the paper about it, the smh
does anyone have a copy they can send to po box 7779?
i’ll send you a copy of every record i ever made n then some..
no..your reward will be in your heart…
thanks to jolly hordern for their safe arrival
hey ricki..didja know my painting of ya was in the paper?
a few people recognize me at the pool yessaday
after my heavy exposure in the printed rags
i had a half page pic of me on page 3 of one of austs biggest
everyone fuckin saying good morning n stuff
i cant tell if its coz they know me
or coz of the frigging newspaper
one guy who doesnt know me at all
said to me
“ooh i saw ya in the paper n said to my partner
ooooh i know him…!”
despite the fact
he did not know me at all
and if he did
he woulda known “who” i was
gee a pic in the paper gets people going
meanwhile eve n aurora couldnt give a tuppeny farthing
whether i’m on telly or the paper or a dvd or a cd
yeah sure…its you, dad
they wouldnt care if i’m playing the enormo dome
opening the imperialist games
or if i’m third on at the arse and racket in croydon
yes its their father and they lose focus
another people saying this n that
as i made my rounds
hey come on
i’m just a guy who happened to write the best song ha ha ha
the best australian song
in the last twenty years
does this mean my youthful arrogance in declaring myself
“the best songwriter in australia ” has actually come true
verified by the people themselves
just when my ego was under some control…this
to tell you the truth
it means very little when you realise that
drum roll
obscene fact about mal turnbull
he has a butler!
yes olde mal has his own jeeves
getting his slacks prepared
dealing with any troublemakers
and feeding mals doggies
(and presumably clearing up their you know what)
can you believe that any one has the sheer fucking gall to have a butler!?
that is real obscenity
right there
even if the butler wants to do it!
and the day australia has a bloke with a butler
for its pm
you just know that things have gone awry
in other news painkiller have added a sydney date 22 dec
same place as last time
can we get any better than we were ?
maybe…i reckon we will…
weve got an album of new stuff to work on
if we can get some into the show…
looking forward to the 2 shows with m kennedy
easy songs to sing
easy man to work with
(and there in lies the moral…)
anyway
its a warm rainy morning in bondi
aurora is playing the flute in a school concert
shes nervous and doesnt understand why she feels queasy
that queasiness is part of performance
then you gotta get out there and translate it into energy
uh huh
thats how this olde fella does it
butlerless
no dog poo if you please
no mynah birds in my house neither
i never said i was buddha
i’m a almost vegan for my own sake
yes thats right
for the selfish reason that i wanna be healthier longer
and still rockin’ like a mother at 54
with slim long legs
and fetching jawline
so it aint got nothin’ to do with anything else
ok
thats all just a side effect to me
so baloney!
do whatever you want
see if i care
but the truth remains
and whoevers fault it is
and whatever can or cant be done about it..
as a civilized man i am repulsed by the dogshit on our streets
i would gladly end it
the people in the future will not tolerate it
it is not comparable to anything else
it is a health hazard
it is fucking disgusting
i hate it
so there

maybe you see me
maybe you dont
maybe you’ll love me
maybe you wont

i am the being
i am the being
time being what it is
all things to all men
a mans man
a ladies man
an animals man
a gods man
a gentle man
worlds forgotten man
the diary of a certain mr kilbey
read all about it
hes in the papers
hes on the telly
hes in the astral
hes tripping over in the causal
the light in his retina is blinding
my interior life which i will willingly share
my exterior lives
the actor
the clown
the sage
the bastard
the failure
the human
the building anticipation
as it all heats up
father is child to the river
the morning sings in a real voice of birds
the black stuff oozing from the mud
a little bridge in the sun
i will burn it later
what does it mean?
should things mean anything?
if they dont then why bother?
the devil even yawns
kilbeys at his tricks again
cooks up some pairs
gary comes over
brought me a plant
we eat our pears
gary says painkiller gig “best in life”
wow if our first gig was that good then…
are you sure gary?
gary : yes
ok
after pears
me n eve n scarlet go to beach
aurora wants time away from eve
eve has a serious energy surplus
and needs to let off much steam
aurora sometimes likes to be quiet
and enter her own world which is tantalizingly close…
aurora is such a dreamy childe…
and there that world is…she can see it now …but..
its no good
eve cant leave her alone
EVE ! LEAVE ME ALONE….! X 500
so i take the 2 crazy ones to the beach
the ones with the curly hair
their hair is curly coz it represents all their wayward energy
down at the beach
eve gets bored with swimming by herself
(normally having an inbuilt little friend)
and she and scarlet settle down
to the serious job of annoying each other
eves digging holes
scarlet collapses em
eve goes crazy
me warning eve
eve digs another hole
scarlet collapses it
but gets her leg stuck in it
eve starts burying her leg more
scarlet screaming and giggling
me yelling cut it out
eve guffawing
baby hysterically screaming
me yelling
eve digging
baby wriggling
baby escapes and runs away
off goes eve
tapping the babys heels and tripping her
but the baby gives as good as she gets
mercilessly jumping on eves thigh when she slides over
like a wrestling villain
scarlet comes down on eves fleshy thigh
letting her not inconsiderable bulk all focus down
through her heel
and then
ooooooopphhh!!
eve grunts like a t rex in shock and pain
before she can act
the woofle comes down on it again
in the same spot
eve struggles to her feet
shes enraged now
but the swift little woofle is away
eve tracks her down
and brings her to the sand
with a tackle fatty vauntin might have questioned
then eves main problem is how to exact vengeance
while i watch on very closely
you see i was once eve
and scarlet was russell
so i know all the tricks
they chase each other through the rows of sunbathers
kicking sand in their faces as they whizz by
eventually i have all the angry people looking at me
eve n scarlets romp finally degenerates into sand throwing
at which point an interventionist daddy wades in
separating and cautioning the contestants
they remain separate for two minutes
before the whole shebang kicks off again
when the woofle jumps on top of eves diggings
ooh la la
instant replay
meanwhile i go in and have a swim
i do that thing where it suddenly gets deeper
n you jar yer back
then cos i was all tensed up coz of the cold
it got worse
i caught a few waves miserably
but i took it personally
the misbehaving kids
the jarred back
the cold water
my slight case of sunburn
hey today is russells birthday
its monday
its another new leaf
its spring
its all i ever wanted
so
have a ball
alright?

the ‘umble servant of yer majesties
steven john kilbey
here i am
bright as a button
sunday morning
see…?
i even work on sundays
just for your esteemed pleasure
no job too big or too small for the time being
painting singing writing
knocking out the best songs in twenty years
i mean the people have spoken
decisively
i wake up on sunday morning
feeling myself floating in a warm sea of kudos
and goodwill
hoping you all out there
appreciate how hard it was to write that best song
ah but theres the rub…..
theres the moral…
no
it was easy
it took no time at all
like buying a lottery ticket
or boarding a doomed plane
or fertilizing an egg
or shooting a barn
fate deals the cards
everything aligns
you come to a fork
either way : everything will change after this
sometimes i feel like i’m so close to working it all out
othertimes i’m sucked back into the bickering humdrum
i do feel like that
as writer of this best song
i should get the rust cut out of tibor free
and my front 2 teeth are chipped n need crowning
and a few other lurks n perks i could use too
look…its ludicrous
i should be made the national songwriter laureate
i should be stuck on some big stipend
and moved into a stately house
and i’d write songs for australia all day
(or any other country..
…if theres one interested reading this)
what do you want me to do…?
i could breeze around parlyment
knocking out pomes n paintings of the senators
i’d be an asset to any govvyment
i’d make everyone so habby….!
really it is a crime tho
look i’m too modest to do it for myself
or i’d go n tell ’em to sort me out proper
its a national disgrace
that the writer of the best song
should have weak water pressure in his shower
or little cockroaches in his keyboards
or neighbours waking him up from his deep sleep
the govt should recognize me now
before its too embarrassing for everyone involved
give me the dough and the luxurious gaff
put my kids in grammar school or something
give me an office staff and a driver
plus a license to kill
plus access to secret information…of course, why not..?
and anything else i feel i may bloody well want
revenge on some kids who picked on me at school
ha ha
imagine trackin’ em down
i’d turn up at their work with 2 govt thugs
hey knucklehead….
remember the time you stuck an ice cream
down the back of my shirt…?
and then i’d have my thugs
plaster the clown in devils food cake…
because
you just dont go around treating the writers of best songs that way
you show a little politesse
i know you know this already my fiends
but
oh god they’ll miss me when i’m gone
the last of the best
the cleanest star they ever had…
look australia is not drowning in renaissance men
its a cryin’ shame i gotta point it out to ’em
but theyre a bit thick , over here sometimes
they cant see which way up the breads got its non dairy spread
anywhere else would have snapped me up by now
given me a position or a title
a consultancy
imagine
youre some “straight” man
you come to see me for advice
advice in bohemiamness and all things hippy
i could burn you a popul vuh cd
or read you something from mervyn peake
or roll you a number
sit you down
and direct inject 80 minutes of pure painkiller
in to your numb skull
because my bass guitar cures the blues at 20 paces
(does anyone reading this ever think i’m a little self-obsessed?)
i could scuff up yer shoes
and spill paint on yer sleeves
i could run you through the greek roman norse and hindu pantheons
or explain the difference
between steve peregrine took n mickey finn
i could show you a yoga pose i found helpful with….*
*(insert your malady du jour here)
or just….
summer usurped spring here yessaday
it was too hot
and i felt like a strange old stranger in a real strange land
every now an then i realise
i’m a northern hemi type
marooned down here
in this sun blasted place
in the afternoon seeking cool air
the fambley n i
fled to the cliff tops at watsons bay
where the mighty heads open up to the pacific
and sydneys magnificent harbour doth begin
eve kilbey running hither n thither doing cartwheels
shes hit the cartwheel stage just like elli n minna did
they were forever kicking me in los cojones
trying to do cartwheels in my old flat in sthlm
aurora more like me…no cartwheels for her
but evies like a bleeding acrobat
shes also running round screaming at the top of her lungs
she is so exuberant n full o’ energy
will you bloody well keep it down i say a hundred times
but she is indomitable
as usual as per sydney
dogs have fouled this beautiful park everywhere
youre standing there looking out to sea
on the very eastward edge of the land
a sheer drop of thousands of feet
you see seagulls wheeling below…..
and yet
the whole time you gotta watch out for…..yechhh!
sorry folks
i say
no doggies in the city
or
death penalty for uncleared up muck
cause i’m over it
we live in fucking paradise with dogs muck everywhere
you go to the nicest poshest most whatever suburb
and there it is
an outrage!
a truly disgusting blight on civilization
some harsh new penalties must be introduced
maybe when turnbull is pm
he can wade into the eastern suburbs dogs muck issue
maybe only he can truly take it on….
to add insult to injury
i am drinking from a water fountain
when a disgusting dog leaps into my face
licking at me and the water
i stand up and fix the fleabitten mongrels stupid owner
a steely reproving look
he merely says
you shoulda slapped him down mate…!
oh i see
it was my fucking fault
i should be having a drink of water
and slapping down a strange mutt
whose imbecile has let them run amok
i dont know bout where you live
but bondi cant afford anymore dogs
they even are going on the frickin’ boardwalk at the beach
the owners think its their right
for their dog to go and do it anywhere…!
hey look i got a rant going here
muse: and all yer rich dog loving subscribers switching off..
oh not so hasty there
oh look i love animals…honest
and small children
and old people
and the “straights”
and the ‘ippies
and the gay and happy people
and the football fans wherever they may roam
everybody
we take em all in
the time being will not refuse a soul
look
heres a green dream for little poochie

yes
i am saddened by rick wrights passing
i love the early floyd
their impact on rock is hard to over-estimate
i remember a time
when they were obscure
in 1970
i stood in a record shop in the monaro mall
upstairs it was
it had listening booths and everything
it had lots of weird records
records i never heard of
there was one called juicy lucy
it featured this blowsy but still erotic woman
naked n covered in fruit
the record itself was a stinker
but jesus…that cover….oh how modern it seemed
the also had the blind faith one
the one with the topless teenage girl….
not the cover that was in the decent shops
i found beard of stars in that shop
oh blessed day
i didnt even know there was a beard of stars
see
in those days
it was hard to glean information
i loved the t rex “t rex” album
but i knew nothing of what came before
so imagine my delight
when i came upon the delightful blacknwhite shot
of marc
looking like shelley or something
and mickey
looking like the handsomest side man in the whole world
anyway
i didnt need the listening booth that day
i wanted to enjoy this on my own
and oh what a strange and lovely record it was
as if it fell from another age
a sexy chivalrous fey rococo electric erotic narnian place
where verily childe
i doth must needs go
anyhow i also bought argents first record there
and the vertigo trip
a double sampler of new vertigo bands
(a label)
who’d just signed about 50 new acts
among them
magna carta
clear blue sky
caterpillar
warhorse
centipede
and of course
black sabbaff
anyway i also bought the moody blues up there
jesus those records aint travelled that well
the occasional song…..but talk about pompous overblown bilge
jesus every ray thomas song makes me want to cringe inside out
but i had em all nonetheless
gee i do still love nights in white satin
cmon scream me down as a soft headed ninny
but wow it still gives me a nice jolt of pleasure
it was spectacular when it first came out….
anyway i’d wag school
(why go to learn the words of fools)
it would be autumn or something poignant
i get on the bus into town
i ride up northbourne ave
tingling in anticipation
you never knew what youd find
how could you know…?
my very generous old daddy
had given me 10 bucks to buy a record
i think a vinyl lp was $5 .95 in those days
i remember the double albums always had stickers saying $8.95
it was important to make the right choice
my dad might buy me a new record every month
my you gotta be choosy
it was a leap into the unknown
i hadnt started reading reviews yet
i allowed my gut instinct to guide me
i went off the album cover or the titles
or what i’d heard someone say once somewhere
i didnt like totally crazy stuff
like zappa
i hated zappa
i didnt like jokey jazzy fiddly stuff much
i hated bluesy foghat savoy brown humble pie etc
i was looking for that weird music that opened up that door
each of my favourite records took me to different worlds
you go home
close yer bedroom door
stick on “the autumn stone” by the small faces
baby you were there
close yer eyes
hey steve kilbey youre a mod in 1968
taking acid with stevie and ronnie
and the world is all wavery
and everythings going whooosh!
or i chucked on yes the yes album
it had all these climactic moments
the bass was extraordinary
the lyrics were nicely non sequitur
or whatever
some records only half worked for me
jethro tull…couldnt really love em
purple sabbath zep…i had em but i didnae love em
only tiny bits in each one
didnt like the singing or the words
abraxas by santana was one of my favourite records
and what a cover….one of the best ever
(more naked women collaged together in some
crazy tex mex wilderness of congas and mad screaming women
and these cool latino players and carlos guitar wriggling like an eel)
the 1st track…its launched me on a thousand attempts at imitation
sighing winds, crying beasts
oh go and listen to that now my children
if you have it
a forlorn piano has its guts stroked in a dali desert reverb
the cymbals exhale like a mirage of distant surf
the guitar feeds back like an overload in the sun
then the most simple sublime bass pulse starts
and the electic piano caresses us
now relaxed
in some cool chlorinated oasis motel pool
we take peyote and zoom out over south america
the spaniards and the portugese
the incans and the mayans
the bongos and congas propel us onwards
into south americas mysterious heart
the magic realism
if you been there
you’ll know what i mean
you see south america is slightly half in
another universe altogether
its like the west but its not the west
its charged with possibilities
like africa i guess altho i aint been there
and have no desire to
africa would nullify me
it does not call me
nor does it want me
but imagine if painkiller became big in south america
then we could play in montevideo
and send some great postcards home
maybe go looking for lemuria or some clue
digging in some jungle ruins
a bearded professor finding my old life in the excavations
a fragment here
a fragment there
brushing the dust from my old mirror
mescaline flares up again inside my fevered mind
i drink the vine
i walk with my spirit guide the black jaguar
i talk to snakes
i emerge from the jungles shadows
in an english pastoral
cirrus minor by pink floyd
on a trip to cirrus minor saw a crater in the sunlight
a thousand miles of moonlight later
and then at the end
ricks organ lingers
it hovers there in the waning light of the song
mysterious droning modulating
the astral path
the shining strange link
ricks lovely sad organ
just hanging there
so solemnly
so regally
so cool

kilbey this
kilbey that
kilbey in the middle
kilbey with a pinch of salt
kilbey after lunch with tea
yeah
yeah
the many thoughts of chairman steven kilbey
well while my erstwhile pal mal
makes headlines in aust
look out tomorrow
for
one of australias leading papers
will declare MY song the winner
and yesterday i did the interview to prove it
the complete lowdown on THAT song
boy i spilt the beens on it once n fer all
that song and i
bound like a witch and her familiar
or like king and his sceptre
or like a sailor n an alby-tross
yes my little song
now 22 years old and doing allright
many of his new friends dont know or care
that i am that little songs father
and really
the little song is now all grown up
and its made its daddy so proud
by becoming a “standard”
even if every other song i wrote
is an esoteric piece of aerated tripe
then blow me down gently
cos at least i wrote one fucking classic
the people have decided
and
it won by twice as many as the nearest song!!!!????
why do those people love it so?
or are my rabid australian fans just votin’ n votin’
n votin’ n votin’ n votin’
either way i am surprised
just when i’m declaring my love for space rock n whale bleeps
out comes this olde chestnut
to remind me of my mousy roots
now look keep this all under yer hat till tomorrow, ok?
i promised i would but ive kinda leaked it
oooooh!
but isnt it nice to know
that that scruffy olde geezer ranting on the sidelines (moi)
keeps getting tiny extensions on his famous fifteen minutes
and the bloodshot eye of general popularity
sometimes blinks in my vague direction
after my interview
which was quite pleasant enough
i was left to a camera person
who got to boss me around for about 20 minutes
stand like this
stand like that
take yer sunglasses off
look up
look down
look fascinating
all around on bondi beach
the tourists are craning their necks
it must be a bricklayer who rescued a kitten….
the locals are saying
“ha ha someone taking ole kilbeys picture on the beach..”
gee whizz
how do i feel……
sick
being popular is as bad as being ignored
its just got its own set of conundrums
someone was complimenting me in the sauna again
the other day effusively
in front of some other people
just trying to relax
this person gush gush gush
finally i lost my fuckin’ temper
WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP i say surprising myself
COMPLIMENTS ARE AS HARD TO TAKE AS INSULTS!!
but but but…
c’mon
i just finished reading titus alone by mervyn peake
strange book
peake spends 2 books creating a gothic masterpiece
perhaps 2 of the most incredible works of fantasy bar none
better even than narnia and tolkien
denser
weirder
more detailed
and then
titus alone
when i first read the gormenghast trilogy i was about 12
the first 2 books i adored but the third one i hated
what happened to the castle and all the characters?
now our hero is lost in some sick 1940s pseudo-england
where some people ride llamas and small flying cylinders watch you
and we sometimes see such beautifully clear visions
scenes that take your breath away
peake was being ravaged by parkinsons disease as he wrote this book
it is extra-ordinary
i humbly kneel at the feet of a real master and genius
meanwhile the martin kennedy gigs are approaching
one at the excelsior in surry hills
the other at the tap gallery
where a buncha musicians are exhibiting their art
including me and mk
we will be doing half a dozen songs for you all
i have also been vaguely inveigled in a movie being made
here in lovely bondi beach nsw
playing the part of a zen surfer and doing the music
i was surprised to see all the auditioning going on
all the over the place yessaday at the pavillion
gee maybe it will be a blockbuster….
saddened yessaday to see
all the bickering claptrap starting up on ze comments
look
i been guilty of this in the past
but now im tired of it
its the same old pests as usual
ah who cares
its a singers blog fer christ sakes
its some wag in a comments section on the fuckin’ internet
amazed someone didnt rope in meat as well
ooh it must be funny getting a rise out of em
tsk tsk tsk
shame on you
and say what you like about yonder micki raymi
but hes playing in nyc right now
playing the electric guitar
and sitting up late discussing reverberation
with some english rockstar
whos cooler than fuck
and what are we doing….yes…you and i?
well i’m waiting patiently till the 23rd dec in melbourne
when we will unleash painkiller again
and you
youre sitting at your computer thinking
i bet this blog is about to end
adios!
sil voo play

see….?
turnbull is now leader of the opposition here in aust
my mothers prediction will come true
and i will dine out for the rest of my life
telling people how the prime minnyster staid at my house
and look at us
turnbulls got a 170 million in the bank(and owns the bank)
i got 170 dollars in the bank
gee he looks fucking olde tho
gee he looks a bit outta shape
dont look like ‘is missus likes him too much either
saw a picture of em
the body language said it all
shes got her arm round ‘im
but theres no body contact
shes keeping him at arms length
imagine what an insufferable prick he will be
when he is the primo fucking minister
and he will be
yeah i imagine hes bad enough round the home as it is
“mal-colm……where are the poodles diamante chains…
not the gold ones dear…the platinum ones…
oh malcolm….youve left 500,000 bucks lying all over the room
oh i do wish youd learn to clean up dear
i hear tony blair always folded his undies…..”
see…? theres somethings the olde time being just knows
remember how people used ta support the war in iraq..?
gee those were the days
people writing in here
saying i was adolf hitler
and how george bush was a good guy bombin’ them iraqis
hey …!
to catch a terrorist you gotta act like a terrorist right?
ok a few thousand civilians accidentally died
but we got u-day and quasi, right
and they were bad guys…yeah?
so…err…i guess mr bush worked out
on a sliding scale of evil
that they were worth …say , 5 thousand civvy deaths each
he probably actually brought both of em in under budget
(ie he wasted less civvies than he thought he would)
(which meant he could waste some more somewhere else)
anyway we now see iraq as a great success
and sorry about new orleans, folks
but you cant be everywhere
i personally feel much safer at night
knowing nth vietnam had to be stopped
or everyone here would be speaking vietnamese
you been out to the western suburbs lately…?
they are…
but what i’m getting at is…..
THEY NEVER SAY THEYRE SORRY…!
the bastards who start wars
all those fuckin’ people died in vietnam
horrifically and needlessly
one day
the u.s. says
ah bugger it
we’re sick of viet bloody nam
lets just pull out n go home
fuck em , eh?
and thats it…?
no apologies to the people saying all along
NO WAR IN VIETNAM!!
all them protesters and peaceniks
locked up or beaten or framed
AND THEY WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG!
the war was fucked up (aint they all)
but the idiots who started it
didnt wanna stop until they were ready…
until they killed enough soldiers to feel like
theyd had a proper war
you do need a proper war….dont you?
for displays of imperialistic might, i mean…
can one ever imagine
in the distant future
when uncle sam has drowned in his own cholesterol
and rule brittania up to her eyeballs in take away curry n goss mags
and finally
good olde orstralia rises up to the top
the new world policeman
but just a bit lazier than the others
HEADLINES 2058
war flashpoint in middle east
australian president
mal turnbull the third
says
“we’ll sort it out…
after christmas”
when asked about plans for global warming
turnbull said
“i’m just enjoying these antarctic pineapples right now..”
in other news
steve kilbey the hundred n four year olde space rocker
released his new album
“stoned methusalah” (out now on zog )
kilbey described it as similar to 2045s
” the eighties are back”
but with more
biffo
in other news
ricky maymi aged 86
is still out there
being a bad ass rocker
“i play in 437 different bands these days, kinda keeps me busy”
oh ha ha ha ha ha

in the purr-fect stillness of a spring morn
the alligator babies push against their leathery eggs
and soundlessly mouth the word mama
the distance stretched out taut like a prisoner
the mauve and purple distance where i hurl my song
hey i see the new messiah and i dig his crazy horns
hey i sew sequins on mother natures green gown
hey i make a ring of forget-me-nots for the prince of spring
all around the edges of the forest the woodland creatures gather
scratching at their whiskers expectantly and sniffing the air
the gnomes go abroad leaving their winter strongholds in the woods
the lily of the valley arrives white and naked
and she stands proud and un’shamed by the ford
in the holy mornings you will see her
open to the sky
drink in the rays
tapping moisture with aerial roots
sure enough the golden carp cavort neath her skirts
and the shy trout darts among the shadows
the wee folk from the shallows then come out
the fisherfolk and those who weave gossamer winged creations
the drowned girl sits up midstream and wonders
and titus groan, still alone
now an old old man
lives in a cosy bole
far from the halls of flint
everybody sing for spring
her ladyship arrives in a frock of flowers
sunflowers and moonflowers intertwined
and honey suckle and milky lemurian roses
and a swarm of attendant bees dressed royally in black and gold
and her little brownies who giggle and gossip till after midnight
indeed as the evening falls deep in the darkling dells
the immortals fade up into view
dionysus as a swaggering youth
mercury as a gentle fool
aphrodite dressed as a boy
athene with her bare breasts
aurora all golden brown and brown eyed
lovely eve mother of mankind
little scarlet all rosy pink and
gurgling like a brook
treespirits come forth!
demands jesus with his black jaguar by his side
and lo
out they come again
same as the last spring poem
those dancing ladies of gods garden
those strange spirits that live in oak and elm
see the birches supple step
see the larchs lithe limbs
the spruce sways on the spot
the pine girls whirl around
and music
who plays this sweet music
lord krishna appears
with all divine markings and all favourable auspices
he deigns to play his flute for us
oh delight for the dancers
and singers of spring
beautiful krishna walking from his beloved jungle
lovely radha draped round his neck
say this night will last ten thousand years
oh krishna we are weary of war and old men who shout
we long for lifetimes in the cool night
away from the glare of mortality
its never ending anxieties
no
let this night endure
let this night prevail over time
let the swans float forever on your rivers
let the mist drift forever past your moon
let all merry creatures and beasts go unharmed for this tonight
let zeus fetch his best blood red wine
and let the lord of arrows strike up his lyre
pinch a fat babys cheek and sing to luna
cavort in the groves with your lovers
let the glades be thrown open to nightingales
and lanterns strung between the bumping trees
let everything be blessed and nothing forbidden
let the gods mingle freely
let the celebrations never end
i sing my song for the forlorn and weary of heart
i sing my song for the lonely and for the poor
spring is here
spring is here
jump up from your beds
and rejoice!
rejoice!
winter is gone
renewal has come
the zephyrs are inviting
the stream is warm
the nights will be everlasting
spring magic
spring love
spring spring
la la la
tra la la
and
hey nonny hey ho
hey ho

a rebel without the caws
i feel angry and restless
i feel ineffectual and reduced
i feel i gotta learn my lesson
and i aint learnt my lesson
but i will learn my lesson
ricki went back to sf on sunday
me n evie took him to the aeropuerte
jesus i miss him already
he certainly put some pizazz into things
off to some glamourous gig in new york city
thats the life…..isnt it?
i am just wishin’ n hopin’ we all can play some more gigs
because i enjoyed myself
other things dont make me enjoy myself that much
and life is all about enjoyment, isnt it?
i’m quite popular with the guys twenty years younger than me
i seem to have a few…tho they’re no spring chickens themselves
blokes i see at the pool
they all seem to like me for some strange reason
in truth it is this
age horrifies them
a thirty 5 year olde geezer dont wanna be in his fifties
they see all these fifty odd geezers….no thanks
then you see me
although as old as any of them
my youthful naivety and natural dopiness
means i can always converse with the youngsters
(except my own teenage daughters, natch
who wish i’d grow up and get a real job)
(i would if i only could)
anyway these guys see me
and realise
you can carry on being a fool into your old age
or as long as you like
i intend to keep on doing this
and i dont care if anybody thinks otherwise
only a tiny percentage of people will be interested
(congratulate yourself)
listen to painkiller before you start whinging about my direction
i do what i have to do
you cant get a fucking vision of something beaudiful
and then turn around n turn yer back on it
i wanna have a go at everything
i’m sick of the past
its not in my nature to wanna play olde tricks
and the thought of it enervates me
i cant allude directly to the thing
but its coming up
and the thought of it pisses me off
because i need to strive not fuckin’ jive
but too bad for me, huh?
we all have our many little crosses to bear, dont we
and little bears to cross
and
i am being driven mad by my own genius-idiot mind
i have an unlimited supply of ideas
and a very limited way of actualizing them
get over it kilbey you restless olde fraud
go n fucking play unguarded moment why dontcha
scarlet kilbey gets up
and comes in my room muttering demanding something
i cant hear what shes saying
truth is, shes not saying anything
she doesnt know what she wants
but she wants something
and shes getting ready to cry and wake up everybody
so shes got me over a( ha ha! ) barrel
i run around trying to appease her
me with my musical innovations et al
running about trying to sort out a petulant wally
finally i hit on the idea of lining her toys up
on the edge of a guitar case
she goes for it and plays quietly
nattering to herself as her toys indulge in a bit of biffo
scarlet is quite bloody big now
quite curvaceous too for someone not quite 3
shes a right little ratbag too
just like her father
like ive been revisited on myself
just so i can see what i was like myself
only as a girl
eve n aurora seem positively angelic compared to la scarlet
who is a combination of queen of sheba and liz taylor and
some important olde opera singer all puffed up with herself
scarlet is capricious exacting demanding
and wont be fobbed off with just any old thing
if she asks for raspberry dont give her strawberry
if she wants this dont give her that
dont make fun of the silly way she talks
i want to sit on you wap, daddy
dont pretend to listen but not listen coz she knows
but
as if you wanna read about some precocious kid…right…?
so am i lucky or unlucky today….?
still waiting for some huge windfall
some university somewhere
gonna hire me or something
hell i know everything just ask me
i was splitting infinitives before i was spitting dummies
i was cooking up artistic frisson since way back when
i got credentials i got scars i got real authenticity
so come on
what tertiary establishment does not need someone like me
getting paid a fortune to contemplate my own knavel
and pissing off home early most week days
i’d write a thesis just like this blog
a load of old codswallop for a million word paper
on the millionth word i’d stop
et voila
dr s kilbey ph bloody d esquire
on a big wicket a top screw moolah and lots of it
what do i do all day
i muck about in my all laid on university studio
i make records of pink whales bleeping while
ricki maymis guitar feeds back in the key of b#
they go on n on for ages
while i write stupid poems about narnia and the seventh dimension
and churn out endless self portraits that look like a 3 year old did em
then i’ll turn up in the cafeteria stoned and insult all the pricks eating meat
i’ll stumble into the staff room and spill tiger balm everywhere
naturally i’ll drive a sunbeam alpine and drink retsina
i’ll wear andre breton songlasses and apollinaire sprats
i’ll huff n puff n blow yer horse down
i’ll be sure to land a good job somewhere now
hey i could teach english to foreign geniuses
look
this a noun
this is a verb
this is a brain on drugs
this is a party sipple
this is a …
my attention is interrupted
i hear a kookaburra laughing
i hear the rumble of the garbage trucks
i hear the groan of the busdrivers
i hear the weight of the morning
i hear the mechanisms in my readers minds
i hear the ghosts as i pass by the billabongs
i hear the body electric tho i no longer care to sing it
i hear here
i hear there
i hear my own cilia screaming in my ear drums
i hear you dont remember me no more baby
i hear they all went “straight”
i hear you was only jokin’
thats ok
we all need a laff
i will explode soon
if i cant relieve the pressure
who will soothe me n talk me down
not i said the sparrow
nor i said the wren
neither me said the world
this wills on fire
now
what was i saying…..?