dear fiendss
despite everything
inc ryans personal anti rsi video
which i been doing
i have a rsi condition
from typing on this blogg
its now spilling over into art n music
which i cant have
so doctor peter podcaste
has suggested a few days off
my deepest apologies to ya
i hope you dont withdraw too hard
(oh!)
i will be back with some picktures tomorrow
even writing this now is kiiling me
so aloha
sk
slightly too wound up
nth bondi
still working on project…
Blog
leaves without pay
dear fiendssdespite everythinginc ryans personal anti rsi videowhich i been doingi have a rsi conditionfrom typing on this bloggits now spilling over into art n musicwhich i cant haveso doctor peter podcastehas suggested a few days offmy deepest apologies to yai hope you dont withdraw too hard(oh!)i will be back with some picktures tomorroweven writing this now is kiiling meso alohaskslightly too wound upnth bondistill working on project…
five knuckle shuffle
have an hour to write this before bloggers outagelistening to ipod again on noise cancel headphones1st up science fiction by divinylsmust be nks trackthis is 3rd time this has come up in a cuppla weeksdidnt like grown woman dressed as school girlit confused me……i never had a fetish for school girlscept maybe when as i was at schooland im unsure why there is some tacit implicationthat some olde women(shes gotta be same age as me..)dressed up as a lamb was sexythe song is ok…i guessooh i should read her biography i sposenext ridetongue tied from firing blanksthis isnt really what they do bestcos stripped of the noisetheres just some wide eyed jangly blim blamso nextbeechwood parkthe zombiesits pretty goodbut i heard it a lotta timeswhen i was “young”until one day when i was very nauseousi listened to this albumand forever it imprinted itself on meand i feel sick when i hear it…like a lotta musicah ahmore slowdiveit just aint randomive lost my manualexplain why it chooses some over n overignores othersyessaday played grant track then everything takes foreveroff jacky frostyhowcome?this slowdive is vey lovelya modest waltzy instrumentalfeel the sunshine by blank n jonesnot my cuppa tea reallyi got this cos my track is on the albumi guess cood come in handyif youre with yer ladeee…nexto childrennick cavedlyre of orffairly standard stuffclose to a parody nowforster n mclennan live in germanyif the devil had seen yer dress….no commentnextthe byrdsi come n standoh achingly beautiful sad stuffa song sung by a dead child from hiroshima” im seven now as i was then…when children die they do not grow..”love this songs bleak beautytvc 15wow the olde thin wide archduke is dispro representedon my my poddoanyone else getting this?this is oknot my fave…ohpart1 by yellow6they got about 10 recordsgo get emif you like this […]
have an hour to write this before bloggers outage
listening to ipod again on noise cancel headphones
1st up science fiction by divinyls
must be nks track
this is 3rd time this has come up in a cuppla weeks
didnt like grown woman dressed as school girl
it confused me……
i never had a fetish for school girls
cept maybe when as i was at school
and im unsure why there is some tacit implication
that some olde women
(shes gotta be same age as me..)
dressed up as a lamb was sexy
the song is ok…i guess
ooh i should read her biography i spose
next ride
tongue tied from firing blanks
this isnt really what they do best
cos stripped of the noise
theres just some wide eyed jangly blim blam
so next
beechwood park
the zombies
its pretty good
but i heard it a lotta times
when i was “young”
until one day when i was very nauseous
i listened to this album
and forever it imprinted itself on me
and i feel sick when i hear it
…like a lotta music
ah ah
more slowdive
it just aint random
ive lost my manual
explain why it chooses some over n over
ignores others
yessaday played grant track then everything takes forever
off jacky frosty
howcome?
this slowdive is vey lovely
a modest waltzy instrumental
feel the sunshine by blank n jones
not my cuppa tea really
i got this cos my track is on the album
i guess cood come in handy
if youre with yer ladeee…
next
o children
nick caved
lyre of orf
fairly standard stuff
close to a parody now
forster n mclennan live in germany
if the devil had seen yer dress….
no comment
next
the byrds
i come n stand
oh achingly beautiful sad stuff
a song sung by a dead child from hiroshima
” im seven now as i was then…
when children die they do not grow..”
love this songs bleak beauty
tvc 15
wow the olde thin wide archduke is dispro represented
on my my poddo
anyone else getting this?
this is ok
not my fave…oh
part1 by yellow6
they got about 10 records
go get em
if you like this kinda thing
talk of the town by pretenders
perfect pop
this song unfolds in simple logic like a pop equation
nice stuff
is it really written about me….?
(no!)
dead bodies by air
love air but not this one so much
but air are heirs to that french movie gushing euro muzac
i love em
good for many purposes
especially perhaps as a musical background
for les games d’amoureuse…
moss garden by d bowie again
yes superb
farewell fire by boards of canada
tasty stuff
investigate this
because of you
bill nelson
a guy i admire
but this is meady ochre
not worth mentioning really why
its just disappointing
wait till summer the kinks
kinda dylany
or something
6 outta ten
more ride
from tarantula
kinda run outta ideas or something
deep inside my pocket
doesnt work when these guys come on tough
its kinda funny actually
weak….
thorn in my side
eurythmics
must be nks…
pass
the long n winding road
a funny alternative take
oh yeah
such a classic its hard to bee objective
king of rumbling spires by t rex
weird in between track
light all the fires …..
last track
inertia creeps by massive attack
oooh dark
thats it
today working on a secret musical project
how random is random?
yepput the poddy on shufflethe go bes come on secondcmon grant….its a robert track…you can do better than thatyessaday you came up with even as we speak n somethingoff in your bright raynow we have that amazing singerthe australian woman from dead can danceliza gerrard?lisa gerrard?she sings like a wailing sybil prophetessin a language of her ownpure geniusthis track offa italian compilationan italian guy gave meis just her n a string machineim sure i written bout it beforeastounding stuff…now comes another one my ipod likes to throw upthe auteurs who are okthe english press made a big fuss over themi can remember (jealously) from the pastwhen silly things like that mattered to meor whoever thought they were mebefore ithe real me turned upthe house of love are nextwho i dont mindtho i understand the “similarities’ between the church and these guysbut i think its circumstantialand by priest = aura all similaritywith this innocous stuff was gonei meani wanted more than these sometimes lukewarm numberscant see the name of the track from ‘ereand it aint worth bovvering standing up fornext ah hasparklehorseyes this is goodthe king of nailsyesremote control will come in handy for thisits good but its not making me listen to it sogoodbye goodstuffbob dylan doingwhen the night comes falling from the skyi reckon when the knight comes falling from the sky is betterthis song is hopelesssang in a silly voice n allbobby your best is the bestbut your worst is the….pitscos we know what it coulda beenride like a daydreamlike the byrds with more ambient guitar cushioninglove this ridebut hated it when you could actually hear the awkward stuffthey were singingsaw straitjacket fits blowem offstage in my opinionin sydney in 1991still its fresh n vibrantlike my brand of killers herbal toothpastecoming to merch stalls near youride finishes n […]
yep
put the poddy on shuffle
the go bes come on second
cmon grant….its a robert track…you can do better than that
yessaday you came up with even as we speak n something
off in your bright ray
now we have that amazing singer
the australian woman from dead can dance
liza gerrard?
lisa gerrard?
she sings like a wailing sybil prophetess
in a language of her own
pure genius
this track offa italian compilation
an italian guy gave me
is just her n a string machine
im sure i written bout it before
astounding stuff…
now comes another one my ipod likes to throw up
the auteurs who are ok
the english press made a big fuss over them
i can remember (jealously) from the past
when silly things like that mattered to me
or whoever thought they were me
before i
the real me turned up
the house of love are next
who i dont mind
tho i understand the “similarities’ between
the church and these guys
but i think its circumstantial
and by priest = aura all similarity
with this innocous stuff was gone
i mean
i wanted more than these sometimes lukewarm numbers
cant see the name of the track from ‘ere
and it aint worth bovvering standing up for
next ah ha
sparklehorse
yes this is good
the king of nails
yes
remote control will come in handy for this
its good but its not making me listen to it so
goodbye goodstuff
bob dylan doing
when the night comes falling from the sky
i reckon when the knight comes falling from the sky is better
this song is hopeless
sang in a silly voice n all
bobby your best is the best
but your worst is the….pits
cos we know what it coulda been
ride like a daydream
like the byrds with more ambient guitar cushioning
love this ride
but hated it when you could actually hear the awkward stuff
they were singing
saw straitjacket fits blowem offstage in my opinion
in sydney in 1991
still its fresh n vibrant
like my brand of killers herbal toothpaste
coming to merch stalls near you
ride finishes n the next thing could be anything
i give up
silver apples
goodbye
those apples spoilt the whole bunch
david bowie
lovely song
what does this mean tho…?
taking it all the right way
keeping it in the back
and whole loada ridiculous
(i realise now)
soulisms like gimme gimme
sho nuff
get down
jonesy was discovering his inner funkyman
and we stood for this bollocks…?
ohh lawdy momma….!
transit by biosphere
dark heartbeat in virtual street
things gently clang in the mist
but something nasty is in there
amon duul 11 from wolf city
crazy krautrock hippy dribble
tablas sitars
things going sweeesh
mellow tron
still sounds like something id have liked to have done
good on ya amon!
then
se a cabo
what does that mean you spanish types?
santana from abraxas
nostalgia it reminds me of being 16
some exciting stuff here
1st latin rock fusion
my dad said
its just bloody rock music with some geezer playing bongos
ha ha dad
funny how those things stick with ya..
gee im enjoying this
my foots tapping
its infectious
and its suddenly over
in comes slowly
yellow6
who are simply the creme de la creme of instrumental music
recommend everything
sad euro hemi-themes
drifting in ether
music for rainy afternoons
and aching nights
do yerselves a favour
if melancholy beautiful music is yer thing
check out yellow6
the walker bros singing wheres the girl
is this guy the best male singer of all time or what?
tho i loathe his last album im sorry to say
ah in comes george harrison
beware of darkness from beware of abkco
a boot of georges demos
ya know i LOVE george dont ya
his modesty
his lovely voice
his good looks
his innovation
his lovely melodies
n words that were just right
fuck i miss ya george
you were a saint!
spiritualised
right up my alley
but dont wanna write about em
but theyre really good…
slowdive
demos
ah lovely stuff
you should be listening to this
glittery marshmellow liquidic little number
cant hear the words n its better that way im sure…
it explodes in a white lighty climax
and sinks back into its gentle self
amen shoo geezers
brett smiley
what the fuck is this bullshit?
lisping coquettish mincing with orchestral swirling
loadsa words coming at ya
its ….interesting
there comes a time in every spaceboys life
sings brett
all mars n guitars n stars n spaceface love
hot sex n chariot choogle droogie
a moonage wetdream
then…
oh i really like this
trojan blue by icehouse
the juxtaposition of a condom brand name
n the the perishing world of troy
youd like this one
the finest treasures of kings
all those precious things
they never tempted you
how could you bear to look on
as they burnt for you?
oh theyre good lyrics i reckon
and full points for any greek references…
enter
the verve
neon wilderness
boy he lost his judgement
trying to turn into neil diamond before our eyes
whod a thunk it
this still in good days i guess
aloha
then its dire straits
and some boogie woogie bollocks
yeah yeah
the sultanas of schwing mark 7
some straits i like
but this straits is strickly for the “straights”
i have time for one more of this foolhardy execise
so it will be oozing significance
for all of us
and it is
(drumroll)
grant mclennan
do you see the lights
i swear on the life of my children
that is the track which came up
unbelievable
and fact is stranger than fiction
howcome im not surprised?
and its got timbo playing drums
oh i gotta hang in for one more now
see if theres anymore to this
ok shuffle
give us
significance
david bowie
doing black country rock
in which he imitates marc bolan
complete with bolan bleat n guitar figure
there is significance here
im sure
impostos de la amoro surperbe
its so bad for ya…..takeoffkillers accounting shopthe hellbound heartthe second greatest story ever told…my mothers booktoo much snow bizness****************************************************** *******************************************************im am la killai take the female form because i have a womans signi like everyone elsepicks up the secret language of the deadoh let me take you to the islands of the deadto the firehouse…the ipod still playing grant or gobs more often than it shouldif shuffle is really randomhowcome it plays so much stuff of beatles anthologylike you gonna lose that girl 2wice in a cuppla hoursyoure gonna lose that girl….indeedwell i used to like itbut its all over nowthe silly little voices chiming in repeating n elaborating“i’ll take her out n youll be the lonely one”(youre not the only one) sing george n paulah its a bit uninspiring really a little fucking twee for mei’d rather listen to michael rotherfrom neu etcwho makes wunderbar electronique es musika de la krautroquethese wonderful teutonic rockerspaying no lips service to the(by now) tedious bluesthey approached it in a different waythe result…?mechanistic drumbeatssynthesizers fixed to the beatburble and pump in timesomething like strings so sad melodymmm…sometimes i hear bits eno musta heardspecially in popul vuhthe treated pianosthese german guys were pioneeerstoday its foggy or lo hanging system of ducks downyour wiggly weporter has been paintingthanks to conversation with painting advisory boardwhich reported sales upand wellkeep on paintin’so i finish off the one in the picture hereand start some others6 oclock in arvoturns into 10 30 at nighty mighty quicklywhen you doing paintingi dont know what the hell im doingbutas i told you beforesomeone inside meseems to knowso i stay outta the way as much as i cani listen to my ipod shuffleas it plays its weird dispro amounts of gobees n donovan(jesus he used to come up with some tripe!…but good stuff […]
its so bad for ya…..takeoff
killers accounting shop
the hellbound heart
the second greatest story ever told…my mothers book
too much snow bizness
******************************************************
*******************************************************
im am la killa
i take the female form because i have a womans sign
i like everyone else
picks up the secret language of the dead
oh let me take you to the islands of the dead
to the firehouse…
the ipod still playing grant or gobs more often than it should
if shuffle is really random
howcome it plays so much stuff of beatles anthology
like you gonna lose that girl 2wice in a cuppla hours
youre gonna lose that girl….indeed
well i used to like it
but its all over now
the silly little voices chiming in repeating n elaborating
“i’ll take her out n youll be the lonely one”
(youre not the only one) sing george n paul
ah its a bit uninspiring really
a little fucking twee for me
i’d rather listen to michael rother
from neu etc
who makes wunderbar electronique es musika de la krautroque
these wonderful teutonic rockers
paying no lips service to the(by now) tedious blues
they approached it in a different way
the result…?
mechanistic drumbeats
synthesizers fixed to the beat
burble and pump in time
something like strings so sad melody
mmm…sometimes i hear bits eno musta heard
specially in popul vuh
the treated pianos
these german guys were pioneeers
today its foggy or lo hanging system of ducks down
your wiggly weporter has been painting
thanks to conversation with painting advisory board
which reported sales up
and
well
keep on paintin’
so i finish off the one in the picture here
and start some others
6 oclock in arvo
turns into 10 30 at nighty mighty quickly
when you doing painting
i dont know what the hell im doing
but
as i told you before
someone inside me
seems to know
so i stay outta the way as much as i can
i listen to my ipod shuffle
as it plays its weird dispro amounts of gobees n donovan
(jesus he used to come up with some tripe!…but good stuff too!)
and the beatles doing an alternative version of maxwells silva hamma
(you can imagine how little i dig that..finger goes straight to the ff)
paint paint paint i go
time stops inside a dream
im outside somewhere
in here the collective human artist appraises distances
makes colour choices
makes flourishes and moves quickly about
the gouache goes on like cream
the pastel is actually possibly very toxic
the advisory board is organizing me some HEPA equipment
i dont know what HEPA stands for
bout it sounds like hepatitis right?
(it has nothing to do with that. ed.)
anyway im getting the filtration n removal machines
because that pastel dust is nasty stuff
and the olde beeing dont wanna dye for his art
so now the dust must be gone
i also trying havin’ a crack at sorting out my “accounting”
well
im shuffling my mountains of bits of paper about
so the govt can figger out how much to wallop me
thats the price of socialism and i gladly will pay it
no point being well off in the midst of poverty
not that im rolling in dough like a pastry kook
so i pay up if i have to
n take the benefits when i can
but ooh it hurts when you fork it out to ’em
and ya think ahhh less iraq and more arts grants boys
more attention to the wevver
and less of the olde ruinous war war wars
talking of wars
my mothers book is available from karmic hit
its around 25 bucks n in only EXTREMELY limited supplies
read how my mummy got thru the war
and then grew up n produced…..
(drum roll)
ME!
have written some songs
was gonna post on a blister on my toe
till i saws ryans toes n read his report
which went something like
each footstep shredded the flesh off the bone
while frostbite ripped back the watery sores etc etc
and accompanied by a picture
of 2 extremely ruined n fucked up toes
i mean
hes not gonna get a job as a foot model with toes like that
so my feeble little blister wont get a mention
(though paradoxically it just did)
boom boom
someone interested in the olde being playing where….?
you mean just me?
so lo
where?
that poor mans middle earthy place
where they still drive austin 1800s?
cmon ….
shhhh….
its only a merest hint of a rumour
so say nothing or youll spoil it
and a certain poetry festival
do they want the being to read froot machine all the way
and an invitation to special gig somewhere special
hmmm?
cant say anymore
and a chance to be on an extremely huge tv show
and play a buddhist ski instructor in “snow”
or a sponsorship by a well known energy drink company
involving millions of pounds
n the slogan
still rocking at 52
or the chance for me to play song in space
on the moon in 2032
when they open up the files on jfk
so itll only be olde dodderers getting enraged
at what they did
life goes on out here in reality
us surfing the edges of time
falling off one by one
as new riders climb on the wave
tonite dinner with d and j
boheemian newtownions in warehouse caper
maybe some pix
sk
mercy
dreampt about grant all nighthe was always just off in the distancei could see him but i couldnt reach himwe were managed by the same guy(in the dream)he was saying grants got this bad coldand youre getting it tooi could see grant from my window… grant n go betweens coming on shuffledisproportionatelythe other day i was thinking bout grantand right here came onfollowed by antennafollowed by about 5 other songsi cant remember nowbut each one arguably significantsometimes when im alonei see something moving out the corner of my eyegrant, if youre out there……here i amready to talkor is it just co incidence on coincidenceabout 2 weeks after my father diedi was sitting there cryingwhen i got this warm peaceful feelingand my dads voice said in my brainits gonna be alright sonand i really felt his presencecourse in all my “supernatural” dealingsi take wishful thinking into accountim never sureif only it wasthat we might meet with them on the other sideas they were in life naive…?i been the most cynical man you can meeti been the most wide eyed fooli been everywhere betweenwe’ll never know until its all overmaybe a short spell in some heaven or hellmaybe nothingso nothing you wont even know its nothingjust like before we were borna rather pleasant oblivioni guess my ego dont wanna lay down its flagfuck, its only doing its jobyou might as well blame yer tongue for talkingkiller rambles on in the misty morning lighti have found that….that things seem to have a reasonsometimes a hidden reasonthat may take a long time to unravelmaybe things work on greater time scales than human lifetimesi know one thingive trodden these boards beforewhatever skills i possessi have weilded before n beforeand that sweet chi gongand that exhilarating yogaand that ocean motherthey say remember killer rememberthey layy whole […]
dreampt about grant all night
he was always just off in the distance
i could see him but i couldnt reach him
we were managed by the same guy
(in the dream)
he was saying grants got this bad cold
and youre getting it too
i could see grant from my window…
grant n go betweens coming on shuffle
disproportionately
the other day i was thinking bout grant
and right here came on
followed by antenna
followed by about 5 other songs
i cant remember now
but each one arguably significant
sometimes when im alone
i see something moving out the corner of my eye
grant, if youre out there……
here i am
ready to talk
or is it just co incidence on coincidence
about 2 weeks after my father died
i was sitting there crying
when i got this warm peaceful feeling
and my dads voice said in my brain
its gonna be alright son
and i really felt his presence
course in all my “supernatural” dealings
i take wishful thinking into account
im never sure
if only it was
that we might meet with them on the other side
as they were in life
naive…?
i been the most cynical man you can meet
i been the most wide eyed fool
i been everywhere between
we’ll never know until its all over
maybe a short spell in some heaven or hell
maybe nothing
so nothing you wont even know its nothing
just like before we were born
a rather pleasant oblivion
i guess my ego dont wanna lay down its flag
fuck, its only doing its job
you might as well blame yer tongue for talking
killer rambles on in the misty morning light
i have found that….
that things seem to have a reason
sometimes a hidden reason
that may take a long time to unravel
maybe things work on greater time scales than human lifetimes
i know one thing
ive trodden these boards before
whatever skills i possess
i have weilded before n before
and that sweet chi gong
and that exhilarating yoga
and that ocean mother
they say remember killer remember
they layy whole memories on me complete
they say yes you are you
but once you were him n her
(actually should read once you were he n she)
killer youre so close
but close dont win the cigar
close but no sugar lamp read a bad review in 1983
vegetarian n vegan food
do you wanna run your machine on that old dirty fuel?
you see the proofs in the pudding
isnt it?
i have young men come up to me
all the time
and say
‘i can see your olde but you still look …ok
and uh..it gives me uh…hope
that when im youre age…
(though they dont believe they ever will be)
that im ah…well you know..’
at which point im saying
there there my boy
old age aint to be feared if you take the right steps..
“yeah” says young man
i say
dont smoke
dont drink (killa hypocrite)
dont eat meat
exercise
take up some esoteric eastern science/art
eg yoga meditation xi gong karate tantra devotion
whatever i dunno
and do it every day
and by this time theyve gone “sure…ok…”
but ….
you gotta have self discipline
oh and i do
to do things
not to resist things
but to do things
and i do n i do n i do
i gotta be active
and something else
yessaday i have a visit from perry
of pam n perry esq. purveyors of fine herbs
and perry sitting there
in the luxuriating global warming sunshine
of my kitchen
which youve now all seen
and perry says thru the aromatic smoke n motes of light
you see steve we’re both virgos
its a womans sign
we are men with a womans sign
my oh my
it never occurred to me before
this slightly feminine (i imagine) perspective
coupled with a mans ability to obsess
the obssession it needs to succeed
on any level
less yer lucky
and im kinda lucky but not real lucky
and i hang around with these females in my family
and i reckon i do better than most
i am the antithesis of the distant unavailable father
i like girls n i always have
but its hard to unscramble this from obviuos bio-mechanisms
ultra males n alpha males n brutes leave me fucking cold
so predictable with their stuff
n their trophy wives
call their wives “honey”
cant remember their names
enough of this bile
so im a virgo you see
a man with a womans sign
maybe the horoscope is all just phoney baloney
so
i says to perry
whos sitting there so confident in astrology
so i say
hoping to shed a little empirical scientific light
on the subject
are you saying that
when someone is born
all the planets in the sky
by gravity or cosmic rays or magnetism
or some other force or combination
affects our very flesh bone and attitudes with its subtle emanations
causing actual predilections and physical manifestations to occur
and perry smiles and says
exactly
and ive just explained it to myself
im a man with a womans sign
huh
go figger
sweet tuesday morning
yeah yeahim spoiling ya againand ya know iti got up earlydrove to this harbour beachhadda swim did yoga etcfeel real goodyou can see my beastly car in these picsi just paid $1250 for a load of worknow its going like a dreamdid a track last nite with jlk for martin kennedy recordthe place here is still a messare you fiendss ever gonna be satisfied with just words again?wish i’d taken yon camera to europeoh well…damn!
yeah yeah
im spoiling ya again
and ya know it
i got up early
drove to this harbour beach
hadda swim did yoga etc
feel real good
you can see my beastly car in these pics
i just paid $1250 for a load of work
now its going like a dream
did a track last nite with jlk for martin kennedy record
the place here is still a mess
are you fiendss ever gonna be satisfied with just words again?
wish i’d taken yon camera to europe
oh well…
damn!
snapped shots
the best pool in the whirled professor of dope n absinth…sunday night the empty beach batchelor life…but no kisses there you goas it happensfrom your co respondent on the frontlinegoing the hard yards for yask
the passed n the futile
maybe i run out of things to saynobody could keep it up forevergrant gone for one yearthe ghost in the next room hears me coughalways obseessed by death even when you were aliveif we knew when we were gonna die…..if we knew what was out there waiting for usnihilism says nothing out there killerand in the predawn darknessits easy to believeunmasked in these early wee small hoursi rise from my bed like a pale blur on blackmelancholy babyshine on harvest moon riverthat big black death patiently waiting for methe stillness of the nightthe coming of the lightshiveringjust an olde guy in a kitchentype type typewords still flowingwe’re gonna rise up singingout there sydneysin citywhats happened in you tonightsurf cityecstasy n slo mo lovemayhem n carnagepeople glued to a tv seturchin and an enemyalley cats n sophisticated idiotsblokes slurping down beerthey grow fatter n fattertill they waddle about like penguinsalmost disabled and red faced..kids wake up early and play quietly in their roomtoday more people will diemore people will be bornmaybe for you and mejust another daywe kinda gotten used to emthese dayscoming out of the machinebrand new days forever n evergo oncarry ondo itstart herebut what have we done to this world?it was the only one we hadwaters in flameice melting downfires gone outi wrote that 20 odd years agoit all seems like it was 5 minutes agowhen scarlet was bornwhen i learnt to swim at shell harbourwhen the first english boot hit the sand hereand the locals saidits the end of everythingwhen we discovered the moons quiet musicwhen we danced on goat feet in secret gladesand we worshipped zeus and astarteand the stars really fell from the skyand something out theresomething very very very bigpulled us apartone by oneand flung us to the farthest corners of the skythe sky […]
maybe i run out of things to say
nobody could keep it up forever
grant gone for one year
the ghost in the next room hears me cough
always obseessed by death even when you were alive
if we knew when we were gonna die…..
if we knew what was out there waiting for us
nihilism says nothing out there killer
and in the predawn darkness
its easy to believe
unmasked in these early wee small hours
i rise from my bed like a pale blur on black
melancholy baby
shine on harvest moon river
that big black death patiently waiting for me
the stillness of the night
the coming of the light
shivering
just an olde guy in a kitchen
type type type
words still flowing
we’re gonna rise up singing
out there sydney
sin city
whats happened in you tonight
surf city
ecstasy n slo mo love
mayhem n carnage
people glued to a tv set
urchin and an enemy
alley cats n sophisticated idiots
blokes slurping down beer
they grow fatter n fatter
till they waddle about like penguins
almost disabled and red faced..
kids wake up early and play quietly in their room
today more people will die
more people will be born
maybe for you and me
just another day
we kinda gotten used to em
these days
coming out of the machine
brand new days forever n ever
go on
carry on
do it
start here
but what have we done to this world?
it was the only one we had
waters in flame
ice melting down
fires gone out
i wrote that 20 odd years ago
it all seems like it was 5 minutes ago
when scarlet was born
when i learnt to swim at shell harbour
when the first english boot hit the sand here
and the locals said
its the end of everything
when we discovered the moons quiet music
when we danced on goat feet in secret glades
and we worshipped zeus and astarte
and the stars really fell from the sky
and something out there
something very very very big
pulled us apart
one by one
and flung us to the farthest corners of the sky
the sky that had just appeared out of nowhere
and that poor lonely god
dreaming up some company for himself
separating into countless little flames
from his fire
come back n tell me about life
that great fire hisses
and we burn n burn n burn on
inexistinguishable they say
we have always been here
i need to heal n be healed
i want to go back
this life thing hurts
it feels so real
so real
i forget who i am
im nobody
just another glorious nobody
part of something enormously invisible
yet right under my nose
my spirit animates my flesh
when my spirit departs
or is negated
the flesh will return to the elements
we do hope the spirit prevails
some spirits take such a battering here
we can build a bridge between sweden n denmark
but we cant find peace
mans inbuilt design error
dont you see
you gotta re make yourself over
you cant just give in to everything
i do believe that is in our power
you dont have to be another pig at the trough
ah the pink clouds n paleness of eos as she arrives
i named my 3rd daughter aurora
it was the most beautiful name i could think of
the roman goddess of the dawn
and she is golden in hue and temperament
her twin is eve
her opposite
mother of mankind
the dark night outside eden
eve who is lithe n limber n rebellious
and the first dawn in eden
before eve arrived
adam must have laughed
to see that young sun rise
do i believe this stuff
it is not a literal truth
it is not a fact
not like the time being in his dawn
his southern hemisfear
global warming
its nearly winter but its pretty damn warm morning
well we trusted the villains like we always do
we sold our cow for a handfull of beans
and a industrialised monster sprang up
and someone thought up the 1st world war
and we all said lets go n get killed there
for king n country and the arch duke franz ferdinand
but we won oh we won
and now we……
well we musta got something out of it
and now
and now its sunday
a day of rest
the rest of the day
white sabbath
under n in the wings
i “come to” after who knows how longi am standing outside this gig in luxembourg with janjans been raving on n on about our musicbut my system is unable to accept complimentslike a thirsty man trying to drink a miragei draw no succour from anyones praisei cannot fill this black hole in me with this stuffwhen i was a kid reading the nme n creemi thought mmm thats what i needsome geezer saying i made a great recordbut…?its not arrogancejan notices my eyes have wanderedim staring off into the distancethinking about what?i finish the joint and toss the butt still smokin’ in the gutteri feel like clint eastward in front of this uptight but lovely personjan laughs nervouslywhats yer ph dee in again? i aski am an ashtro-physicist ……wow!no it not that much….neither is being in the fuckin’ church….but schteeve you are my fafourite band…EFFER!ok then…im gladi cant believe these academic types love usif i was an astrophysicist or gynacologistor economics gurui doubt whether id bee blowing a jointoutside some dive with this olde scruff like kilbey isanywayi go inside5 minutes says someonegood luck schteeve says jan and shakes my handthish has meant so much to me! jan saysi don my wrinkled salt encrusted still damp clothesthe rest of the band sip their drinks or fiddle aboutnone of us is nervousa little bit of nervous is goodbut we aint been nervous for agesthe intro music playscmon i say to othersobliviously having a conversation or somethingcmon i saythe intros onyou go on they saywe’ll be out inna minuteeventually we go onlate as usualthe place is half emptybutits also half fulli pick up my bassand i start to singand something happensthe heavy bass of the soundcheck is now a feather in my handsmy body is filled with a restless rush of energyim […]
i “come to” after who knows how long
i am standing outside this gig in luxembourg with jan
jans been raving on n on about our music
but my system is unable to accept compliments
like a thirsty man trying to drink a mirage
i draw no succour from anyones praise
i cannot fill this black hole in me with this stuff
when i was a kid reading the nme n creem
i thought mmm thats what i need
some geezer saying i made a great record
but…?
its not arrogance
jan notices my eyes have wandered
im staring off into the distance
thinking about what?
i finish the joint and toss the butt still smokin’ in the gutter
i feel like clint eastward in front of this uptight but lovely person
jan laughs nervously
whats yer ph dee in again? i ask
i am an ashtro-physicist ……
wow!
no it not that much….
neither is being in the fuckin’ church….
but schteeve you are my fafourite band…EFFER!
ok then…im glad
i cant believe these academic types love us
if i was an astrophysicist or gynacologist
or economics guru
i doubt whether id bee blowing a joint
outside some dive with this olde scruff like kilbey is
anyway
i go inside
5 minutes says someone
good luck schteeve says jan and shakes my hand
thish has meant so much to me! jan says
i don my wrinkled salt encrusted still damp clothes
the rest of the band sip their drinks or fiddle about
none of us is nervous
a little bit of nervous is good
but we aint been nervous for ages
the intro music plays
cmon i say to others
obliviously having a conversation or something
cmon i say
the intros on
you go on they say
we’ll be out inna minute
eventually we go on
late as usual
the place is half empty
but
its also half full
i pick up my bass
and i start to sing
and something happens
the heavy bass of the soundcheck is now a feather in my hands
my body is filled with a restless rush of energy
im so relaxed
but im so alert
im a bit drunk n stoned too
but the rush of energy is cancelling them out
the words come falling out of my mouth
my fingers play n play
occaisionally i think
e
or f#
but mostly they just do it
i stand back n watch myself singing
and playing
the drums so loud
pounding
pounding like my blood
the screams of the guitar
the roiling churning physical sea of sound we create
an inexorable vortex
my earpiece slips out
i cant believe how loud it is
a solid wall of bristling electricity
forget jingle jangle pop music baby
this is a visceral spiritual sexual assault on you
i see jan up the front completely gone
eyes closed
swaying in some other time
sway jan sway
the audience are going bananas
im surprised n im not surprised
our music is like a razor blade at 120 decibels
every guitar note hangs around all night
the pressure builds up n up
when i play the low notes on the bass
i see people respond like they been kicked in the guts
or just seen their woman with another man
we take you through the moods
sad happy stunned triumphant desolate angry
all in one minute
and back again
i sing the words i designed to conquer you
i sing the words no one else but me would have written
god says steven i put you here to write these songs
now fucking write em!
i sing the words
and i see how some words affect some
and some words affect others
i sing n i whisper n i ham it up
im confident im shy
im so detached
im so tired n world weary
but im eager to please
and i say stupid things
and i say majestically grande things
that they didnt think i’d say
n i make em laugh with my egotism
n with my bashful unsureness
and i make it look easy easy easy
why anyone could do this
i strike ridiculous poses while i play
rock parodies of my beloved yoga poses
god says mix it up you crazy fool thats what its for
only my black jeans prevent me from perfectly executing
the leg part of a number of poses
i jump about
i skip n i thump my boot up n down
finally its all over
drenched in sweat
we slew the bastards
we slew em
encore
more of the same
at the end we go into free form freakout
the guitars wailing in anguish
the drums sound like a tornado
the bass throbs in the lower regions like
a sea monster
its all over
they love us
we love them
goodnight
ladeez anda gentsa
goodnight
wherever we are…
as i walk to dressing room
i become aware of being drenched in sweat
and my ears ringing like sirens
how drunk n blurry i am
we joke around after the gig
some small things are mentioned
praises n blame
suggestions are made
jokes are cracked
after about 15 minutes
jan is shown back into the dressing room
oh shteeve what can i say
didja like it then i say
oh shteeve when you played blah blah i cried
ok then cant ask for more than that
jan goes off a satisfied customer
i hang around n hang around
waiting n waiting till we’re ready to leave
eventually by now stoned n drunk on absinthe
i have sunken into a trance
its not that everythings so great in the trance
its not an ecstactic trance
but its this deeply numb n unfeeling trance
a quiet restful respite
from the hounding voices of my own mind
the questions have stopped
no ones trying to rationalise it all
no one trying to write a song or a blog
no one with recriminations n regrets
nope
just kilbey at the bottom of his mind pool
a warm black pool
oh you can imagine fiendss
i know you can
how delicious it is in the the deep black pool of my mind
so deep no one can ever reach me
im herded like a lamb to the car
someone asks me to sign some cds
i watch from the bottom of my pool
as kilbey scribbles something
kilbey so wants to let this man know he appreciates them
but realises that its easier to let it go in the end
they must know in their heart of hearts he does
kilbey smiles at them at any rate
his big yellow teeth n crows feet smile
that fair dinkum im a good bloke smile
he only just learnt not so long ago
its enuff
everyone goes home happy
the car journey is a lovely lovely blur
some music softly plays
a conversation
then the hotel
someone says
here steve
room 1313
on the 13th floor
theres the elevator on the left
the hotel desk clerk calls out in his funny accent
no sir the other left…..
i get into my room
wow
its got internet
wi fi
my little white lappy fires up
my ipod plays i dormienti by eno
i gotta great idea for a new blogge…..