The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

life
isnt it strange…..
i spend the day walking in the botanic gardens
then hanging round at riverstage
which is a big outdoor gig within the gardens
all day long i been plagued by a vague panic
like the universe is stepping up the ante
i sit and chat briefly to some performers
but i dont have much to say….”er…i’m jetlagged..”
of course i should be schmoozing n boozing
and getting my name around
but i’m like an energiless gormless blob
my conversations go nowhere
it begins to get cold and i brought nothing warm
i sit there freezing and tired and quite frankly bored
i wish it would be my turn soon
but i wait n wait n wait till its quite dark
i walk on
keep my eyes closed
go thru my rehearsal of images of london
mix up the words in the first verse
quite a wooden version
it doesnt matter
its just an early run through
i walk back home about 20 minutes
and turn the ac up to full heat
and struggle to stay awake
be back at nine they say
i wake up at quarter to nine
feeling like the mother of all jet lag just gave me a TKO
when the phone rings
its cath from production
you can stay there…no need to come back…
wow…a reprieve….
i go straight to bed
where the strangest n most horrible dreams
gnag n gnaw at my brain
even in rest
i get pulled over the coals
on some dreamed up distorted riverstage
my sleeping outta control confused mind has invented
where everything is wrong
where everything is chaos
and in my dream i struggle n i struggle n i struggle
i am old and invisible and hopeless and wanting
wanting something so bad
crying n weeping n sobbing in the dream
so stupid
i do not realise i am trapped between the pains of a dream
do not know i am asleep on the 31st floor in a soft bed
in some generic apartment
in amongst thousands of other generic apartments
all around the lights flash n glitter
the windows reflecting the night
while in my dream
i go to town on myself
amplifying the days tepidity
into a morbid stumble thru a catalogue of fears
the people in my dream avoid me
or gaze on me with impatient pity
while i thrash around in my own bad karma
and fry in negligence
and still i wonder even in the dream
what is causing all this?
so i decide to get up
i’m an old rocker with jet lag n bad dreams…get over it!
suddenly the glamour seems awfully thin
and i wonder what i’m doing here
here in this twenty first century…
the twenty first century since what….?
here on this computer
i take for granted
an aluminium one stop shot for all your needs
it can take your picture
it can play chess with you
its got pictures of naked ladies if you want em
its got the temperature and the time
its got endless advertisements and messages
its got all the info on everything that ever was
and yesterday
i see a hundred computers all like mine
the same exact model
all doing their gigs backstage all joined up
all lined up
hey we didnt have this when i was a kid
we didnt have this when i was thirty three n a third
am i any happier……? no!
just more stuff to take you down into its web
is that what you want?
but now we got it…it can never go away….
so in the very act of bitching about it…i’m using it…
my feet are cold again….
my future will be coldness
feeling raw and cold
thats where i’m heading
if you think this blog is too much
try to think of it as you would sartres nausea
i merely observe my self
going up n down
one minute puffed up with his own importance
the next
deflated and anxious, grasping at strawberries
this is the stuff the others cant give you
and really you might not even want it
i have made up my mind
when i am re-stabilized
to write about nothing but music
for the month of september
when i hit 55 wailing n gnashing my tooth
fripp n eno play on in the darkness
this darkest hour before the dawn
i guess yoga is my only option
tho even it fills me with no enthusiasm
some shadow has laid me low
and i just gotta wait……

ejected by sleep into a crawling bed
i find myself here in some place
a soft bed full of pillows
below chimneys emit soft steam
i roll over in cloudy blankets
sinking out of sleeps seamless sea
drowned in the air of the room
a curtain half open a blue sign throbs
i stand up and walk onto the balcony
robed completely in darkness
i see the river now deepest blue
up on the thirty first floor
the thirty first floor
sirens way below
down there where reality seems to be
me my ears will ring forever
my right eye is a blur
i apprehend the world differently
you love my thin skin
it permits everything to come in
everything coming into me
i feel everything to the nth degree
cant you see thats what ails me
cant get my mansuit off and its….
i have to ride it out but
what choice do i have?
why do you still do music?
what else could i do…..?
sometimes i write about madness
no its not the madness you have seen before
my madness is not common or guarded madness
neither is it a cheap tv copy
or a chemically induced stupor
my madness is ……..
living in the afterwoods
twenty miles north of historic eden
are the afterwoods
dreamy fields and forests of tranquilities
come one come all
oh the afterwoods
oh the eastwoods
oh the soulwoods
oh the the westwoods
available now hyper real estate
stephen kilby presents 13 achers now available
the afterwoods apartments now ready for immediate
furnished unfurnished latest unhinged solar panel
enamel
with all the trimmings approx 1 millions
that lovely spot
biographically designed by experts in university tests
featuring obelisk windows and random garage access sites
including marboleum bathroom mouthpiece set
and swim/sim pool genes already implanted
lo*vac suction system preactivated on finger touch control
happy days guaranteed by rolandstorm@ afterwoods. com
eternal craft copyright MMMXXV

the dawn begins to dawn
what else can it do?
cars drive up the streets
how miserable it is to drive a car up a dawn street
huddled waiting for the heater to come on
and all the shadows are sinister fleeting fragments
nothing surprises me
we are at the centre
and the sun rises around us
we are still
i can feel it
the world does not hurtle through space willy nilly
it makes me vertiginous to think of it
i dont want to feel big or small
only norm-all
the wee small hours indeed
when sad things happen
when people part from each other
still it remains dark
i wait for the sun to come
imagine if it was my luck
that today was the day
that the sun never comes
and at midday
brisbane is still up to its neck in the murky darkness
wont that give em a shock?
the balcony is cold to my bare feet
the noises of a hundred air conditioners plant up
the buzzing droning ringing sound of today
everything purring humming whining tapping banging
a plane flies into brisbane
defying all logic
some great tinny hulk just hanging in the thin air
all lit up
and the passengers just sipping their lasts drops of tea
the arrowroot biscuits eaten up
i alone in my tower truly awake
bam bam bam
okayda
uh huh
today
somewhere still over the rainborough
dress rehearsal for big show
big stars
big glittering occasion
alone again
naturally

down the rabbit hole
swallow me whole
he was sitting on a flight
that went up n down n side to side
will all flight attendants please take their seats
steve kilbey runs out of things to say
suddenly you extend out and life blurs
flying west n west n west n west
i cramped and cold hit home
wow
i must need my head read
glad i got my shadow or i go crazy
my wife and children

i am home i say to the littlest one
but suddenly
i am gone
my wifes welcome extends until twin dawns
white nights of light
yet still i am gone
i pack my bag i ride to a big white colosseum
the money changers
the fur dealers
the swarm buzzing about again
i sit in the flying tube
squashed between sneezing geezer
and chubby mr business doing that sudoko numbers thing
no bumps
climb out
its warm n sunny
after some argy bargy
check in to modern apt style suite
sweet?
you betcha
i tried to filmit but it was toolong

i get downstairs
share a ride with john butler
i get introduced to new guitarist jim
after a while
thru my blurry blurred life vision specs
its jim from midnight oil
yeah that sounds good i mutter or utter
the band is good
its an easy one to play
go where ever you will
i give the song my blessings
kev is there and hes so….kev
i stagger back to room
who am i ?
wow!
who did you say
i collapse in bed with jet lag
wake up feeling like i been king hit
cant believe michael jackson n gary glitter wore wigs
cant believe the senseless horror of ww1
cant believe the gospels and the gossip
cant believe in the city and its dreams
brisbane glitters outside like a fake sci fi city
from the 1970s
a big brown river pushes thru it
and the city races down to its edge
and chucks bridges over
and then the little beetley cars zoom hither n thither
and all the lights light up
and out on the streets
the old white australia days are gone
brisbane is brimming with every type of person
and i stumble thru the crowded streets jetlagged like lead
my eyes are crimson in my head
my circadian clock is frozen on 3 a.m.
manhattan and stockholm bedtimes both call me
my head cracks open
and out rolls insomnia
in a quiet room i see my new paintings
i hear voices of other musicians
i see them in the hall
the famous bunches of people
i am too tired
i keep my confused head low
i drink peach soy punch with aloe vera pearls
i eat a veggy pattie from subway
i am suddenly so tired
thats all
goodnight

sitting at arlanda airport
trying to fly to philly
then to nyc
my flight delayed by ” at least 3 hours”
means i fly into nyc at midnight if i,m lucky
i had to fly back to nyc cos that was my original point
of flying back to aust
just had a very teary goodbye with minna
who has been so kind to me during my stay
attentive concerned and wonderful company
i love her more than i can say
yes i am very very proud of her n her sister
i feel very weak sick n demoralized at the mo
and lucky you
you get to hear all about it
i mean
thats what a diary is for, isnt it?
im writing on a machine that charges 6 bucks an hour
of course they woodnae wanna have free internet at an airport
thatd be too convenient wouldnt it…
i hate airports
i hate aeroplanes
i hate travelling
i hate being on my own
so i feel pretty low right now
the pathetic silly sod is still writing nasty comments
which only goes to prove how much he loves me
sad, isnt it?
ah unrequited love…
never mind
i get back for 2 nights
then its off again to brizzy for kev carmody gig
will be great to see all my kc co horts again
but hard leaving the fambley
after such a short reunion
am looking forward to seeing miss natalie so much
i guess i got lucky
my wife is my lover and my best friend
and she makes “it” all go away for me
wish we never had to be apart again
scarlet kilbey probably thinks her dad is never coming back
and will be quite surprised to see me in the flesh
on monday morning
wow time passes slow here at the airport
trolleys go by
people embrace hello n goodbye
its a warm cloudy day in stockholm
my second home in a way in this world
and it always makes me so sad to leave
rushed here this morning
just to be told to wait wait wait wait
people say the” jet set ” about international travel
but i’m well fucking over it
coulda had lunch with martin kraaal before i left
its cold here at airport too
over air conditioned….why?
hopefully my plane leaves at 4
its ten to 2 now
time seems to have frozen
tho i know it will pass
i remember grants song at a time like this
“c’mon time
do yer magic trick
take it all away from me
make it quick”
actually so low
i feel almost lost for words
tho i have another hour of typing
left on this machine if i want it
i wonder how you all liked seeing the twillies
apart from all the nice comments already in
i guess the doodles
will probably make their blogge debut live soon
and yes
as i figger out my imovie doo dah
i hope presentations to become much much better
yes
i will be doing songs n painting video blogges
so stay tuned
the sky is the limit i guess
and you will see more n more facets
of my lovely life
as we progress along
still
something to be said for the written word
and the imagination involved
a video leaves not much to be imagined
but i feel like you might as well see me in every way
winning
losing
rocking
fambley manne
angry
happy
stupid
ranting
vegan
arty
etc etc
i contain contradictions
i am not what anybody thought
i am committed to evolving on my blogge
figgering out new ways
to entertain ya
and keep you informed
i hope we are all together for many years to come
see i’m still stuck at #19 on the charts
which aint bad
considering its the real international chart
but i wonder how i can get any higher
voice in another airport : we,re always wondrin’ that…
anyhow
fuck it
thats enough i guess
i really miss minna
we had a lovely time together in the country
and a great train ride home
talking bout stuff
listening to music etc
ok bye
i’ll let you guys know whats happening anyway
sk
arlanda airport 5 past 2
24th july
in limbo

but

three times now
i have attempted to post a video
of the twillies in action
but no dice
i probably aint compressed the doo dah enough
or centralized the ding dong
reading instructions bores me
i have a kinda attention deficit disorder
and its always been easier to figger things out for myself
i’m a hard bloke to teach anything too
and i learn slowly
well i discovered i have one day less in sweden than i thought
i leave tomorrow instead of saturday…
i feel a bit cheated
losing that day
but the thought of “catching up” with my wife
is some compensation anyway
its been quite a while
spent the day in the country yesterday
swimming in the lake
walking at night with the girls
picking hallon (wild raspberries)
n smultron( wild strawberries)
sweden is lovely
its hard to leave in summer
but i must
new york will seem hellish
compared to the tranqulity of a near empty stockholm
and the absolute zen like calm of the country
still……

rocknroll
rip em n blues
jazzm
klingande klangande melodi
rock and a hard plaice
fire from earths core
nothing no-one can touch me now
i laughing
i fall on the floor and i laughing
i laugh at my dee tractors
i laugh at the squares
i laugh at the jealous whingeing whining carping pricks
who cannot be me…
i’m sorry this position is filled
only room for one renaissance man on this plane, tosh
i sacrifice this guitar to poseidon
i dedicate this life to magic to music to rock
i got the tunes
i got the words
i got the stupid and good moves
i’m a joke
i’m a joker
and i’m not joking
you know i’m so special
is that why the proletariat cannot dig my groovy trick?
i do things right
i do things wrong
i do things my way
and some days i dont care
about anyones opinion
worship me
revile me
ignore me
i cant feel a thing…
this is my fucking page
i do what i like
and im a big headed pig headed fool
no kind or harsh words have EVER swayed me from my appointed rounds
i deliver
all those fucking songs
98% of em excellent beyond all known mortal constraints
you know its true
or why turn up here to read this…?
(oooh i’m 19 on the charts…IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!)
you either love me or you hate me
and if you love me youre smart
and if you hate me its cos youre a squirming jealous thwarted lump
thats right
read it and weep
you cant erase my words
my music my images my words my mojo
will live on n on
after our individual deaths
my lovely daughters
my lovely calves
my lovely seizure
my lovely olde age
my lovely lovely lovely face
like a king from the olden daze
you know it
a rock-king
with a fender bass as his staff
with six beautiiful women as his familiars
with his freckles like the spots of some mangey cat
my fingers forgotten more than most peoples brains
my fingers pumping out bass bliss for 40 years
my velvety throat crooning those bestest words in the universe
the worlds forgotten geezer
a diamond mind
christ if i not a genius then who is?
yeah?
im waiting for yer reply
come on
send me yer bile
i turn it back into music
and i become even more entrenched
oh come let you a-door me
or bugger off
if youre rich send me money
if youre poor send me good vibes
if you cant have a laugh at me with me
the jokes on you
i’m the first to say
kilbey is the worst
i’m the first to say
kilbey is the best
embrace my paradox
you cant ever insult or compliment me
more than i already done
i churn out masterpieces
like other people write shopping lists
bang
there goes another one…
look out
you might miss it
cmon on and love me
dont resist it
the saint who is no saint
white hippy moses
the mangey panther
lo i write my own mythology
and it all comes true
look at me
i’m fifty nearly five ha ha ha
AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT!
show biz
smack
dope
coke
broke
joke
the ATO…come n get me baby dead or alive
i escaped from new york
i never eat pork
i sing deeper than tommy yawk
i paint better than blind boy grunt
i speak better than marcel marceau
i liver than you’ll ever be
you’ll never know
here i am in my own little world
come in please and make yerself at home
dont stab me in the back cos its rude
and its cowardly
come
come
be one of us
accept me into your life
listen to songs i wrote 30 years ago
theyre still good
look
you got 2 choices
enjoy it
or
leave
look
a very wise man once said
an enemy always equals an adorer
and you know
i tend to agree
but i tell you
i love my people
i love my family
i love my fiendss
i will not tolerate disrespect
my people know where they stand with me
me…mr arrogant everyman
naturally aristocratic tho my origins are humble cockney
very ‘umble, squire..ha ha ha
i got the kinder looks you cant buy
look i stand on stage
AND VERILY I DOTH ROCK!
lo and behold childe
i make that fucking guitar squeal like a bitch
i got no rules
i got no regulations
i travel all over this world
i travel thru time in my mind
i believe in rocknroll
and if you believe in me and my rocknroll
i swear i will not let thee down
my honesty is my mystery
come in
and i will wash your dusty feet
come in
i accept the disenfranchised
i accept the freaks
i accept the vandals and the goths
and i accept
the strangely beautiful and the familiar ugly
i want your hearts and minds
trust me
i’m a rocknroll doctor
i need to make a small incision in your anonymous skull
and just…
oh dear
well i told ya so…
jealousy is a cursive script
and your pathetic envy needs to be drained
before you expire in a puddle of blob
i’m a almost vegan
i’m a almost with you
hey there using my song in another big tv show
dont it make ya sick….?
are you for me…or agin me….?
if you for me i will protect you in song
i will give you the ten thousand me’s i got up my steve
ha ha
this mere blog
this imbecilic rant
is still bigger n better
than what your average crowda people will write in a life time….
im a hundred monkeys with a hundred typewriters
n lo
i’m banging out shakespeare
lo
i’m banging out steve kilbey
and the critics are wearing out their thesauruses
looking for superlatives for what i do
why resist me?
why stay around and not give in…
put yerself in my hands
put yerselves in my shoes
put yerselves in my picture
i’m saint steven the martyr
martyred by philistines
crucified in fucking space
i licked smack
i licked dehydration
i licked soy ice creams
i licked postage stamps
n i got you licked any old day
ha ha
you know its true
succumb
i got the good genes
i got the music in me
i still a contender but no one steps into the ring
the ring of fire
cos i burn and i return
i croon n the women swoon to my tune
i aint descended from no baboon
i play bass with my angular face
i paint like the ex-communicated saint that i aint
i been rocking 40 years no fears many tears
no one suede me
no one changes me
no one out trumps me but god and time
i know what i do is good
lord i aint really a fool
but if i am
why read a fools words…
only a fool would do that
my people know i give em what i can
i was shy for a while…oh miles ago
but now
fuck it
fuck em
fuck you
you not gonna get this anywhere else
i love my people and they do know it
it shows in the love i pour into my music
i dont condescend
i dont serve up any old rubbish
my songs are viruses infecting your brain
and they live on n on
growing stronger n stranger n bigger n better
you betcha!
and i tell ya who listens to my stuff
doctors
professors
lawyers
math-a-mat-icians
ministers
theologians
masters of martial arts
teachers
dentists
archi-friggin tecks
soldier boys
grey nurses
the void hears me howl
my people n i locked in our loop
all of us in this together
some heal
some teach
some litigate
some account
some ponder
some cogitate
while
i
i sing
i sing these songs cos no one else could
i am the thinking mans song
those captains of industry
those university trained boffins and big wigs
AT THE ENDA A HARD DAY THEY NEED THEIR KILBEY FIX
marine biologists swim in my sea of songs
linguists smile n wonder at my wordplay
musicologists appreciate my uses of harmony n dissonance
novices cannot fathom my productivity
my enemies…none will show their faces..
come forwards if you dare
they grumble n send me little hits below the belt
but i learnt from my hero harry houdini
my fucking stomach is flexed n ready for yer weak little punches
metaphoric or otherwise
or come n find me
i live on an island
where i have tamed the elementals
music
art
words
i am broke but never really broken
oh how my people will rejoice when i am crowned
oh how my snivelling anonymous d-tractors will weep
gnash their dentures
and wail in sorrow
when i ascend into my waiting nirvana
ha ha ha
i never run out of words
i hard wired into pure creativity
i got the discipline
i got the stamina
i got the mojo rising
genius is pain
i’m in agony
and you
you either love me
or you remain here
a hypocritic oaf
an anonymouse rat
a flea
a fly
a nothing
i faced death in aeroplanes and needles and diseases and cars
i been electrocuted
i been run over
i been addicted
i been punched in the head
i seen my beautiful daughters pulled
outta their conscious mothers stomachs crying
and none of us flinched
i aint dismayed by any jive you can come up with
i giggle at the prating of the philistines
water off this (man) drakes back
i’m a man, cant you see what i am
tough and tender
daring to make mistakes
not hiding in some dirty dark hole
firing shots at his betters
cowardly custard…i know who you are…
wormtongued insect
presumptuous nothing
worthless insignificant blot

the pic was taken by my friend jemal wade
the rant was inspired by some rude anonymous comments
i defy all your preconceptions
i will never be who you want me to be
and yet still i ask
and still you do not answer
why do you read me
if you do not love me?
ha ha

king lear with his daughters
snow white and rose red
sister lover
peas in a ipod
yeah sweden
yeah
im just not a mono zygotic kinda guy
yeah the pine trees
yeah the long evenings
yeah the vikings
yeah the neutrality
yeah the swedish language
yeah the nobel prize
yeah volvo n abba
yeah but no fjords (thats norway)
yeah the venice of the north
yeah snow and ice
yeah the blondes
yeah the blue eyes and skies
yeah sweden not switzerland
dont mix em up
sweden pop 9 million
currency : the swedish crown
700 hundred crowns (kronor) for a hundred yanqui dollars
capital stockholm (island of logs)
pop 1.5 million
hennes n mauritz
eriksson phones
saab stories
the archipelago baby
the summer houses
the moose
the weasels
the mosquitoes
the adders
the song birds
the dark long winters
the austerity at the heart of the olde days
ingmar bergman….the weird summer light
the seventh seal
carolinska institute
max von shadow
benny and bjorn
schnapps
faaaan
yeah august strindberg
life is a dream play
yeah odin n asgard
yeah thor n loki
yeah the polar circle
yeah lappland
yeah reindeer
yeah fishing thru a hole in the ice
yeah hammarby
yeah sodermalm
yeah malmo
yeah martin kraal (my name is neo not andersson)
yeah all them dead junkies
yeah all them olde hippies n commies
yeah the baltic sea
yeah arlanda airport
yeah tack sa mycket
yeah hej hej hej
c’mon
its sweden baby
can you dig it?
can you handle it ?
can you handle 4 hours of pale daylight
can you handle the cold brown lakes
can you handle the still morning mists
can you handle the right wing aryans
can you handle the 20 dollar baguettes
can you handle yourself with grace n dignity
yeah the prime minister olaf palme got assassinated
linger on yer pale blue eyes
oh my lovely daughters
what a lucky man
oh those cheekbones
oh those piercing eyes
oh that youth n glamour
bi lingual
buy now pay later
buy one pay for two
ah twins
one egg one sperm
it splits, right
a fluke
an accident
no one knows why
identical dna
identical in all but finger prints
not identical in mind or nature
where does this variation come from
yeah they do a lotta experiments with twins
yeah thats a good control
fascinating isnt it ?
wouldnt you love to have been a twin
one in a hundred births identical twins
like winning some kinda lottery
like winning some kinda prize
never alone…even in the womb
jostling for a position
who was born first
who is the good one
who is the naughty one
who are you
which one are you
are you elli
no im minna
are you minna
no im elli
cant you tell us apart
did your mother dress you in the same clothes
can you feel the others pain
can you read their mind
can you dig this crazy twin trip
all you singletons
all you one offs
all you only childs
elektra and miranda
agamemnon n prospero
the overbearing father
the king and the magician
men leer at lears daughters
many men
double yer money back guarantee
double yer chances
double yer double six
double or nothing
yeah scanda fucking navia
will you ever come here
will you ever see all this
will you ever grok it all, childe
me….i’m just the carrier of the chromosomes
me…i’m just some olde rocker with 2 sets of twins
i dont do things by halves
except in scarlet kilbey
who is twice as large as life on her own
the world couldnt contain 2 scarlets anyway
thank the lord she arrived as a single kiddo
surrounded by the stars
i am lucky
i am blessed
more than i deserve
more than i asked for
more than i can say
thats it aint it?
what more can i say
fascinating, is it?
its my life
my day equals your night
my year equals your 52 weeks
my children
mina barn
mes enfants terribles
my smorgasbord
my ombudsman
my sweden
my twins
my other twins
my lovely yanqui wife
my velvety voice
my springy knees
my thirty year old rock band
my hit single
my my my
who am i?
steve to you
steven to my family
daddy to my kids
that guy who owes us fifty grande to the tax-mann
that guy walking round bondi with all those girls
that guy with the shorts …he looks like a beachlayer/brick-comber
gee hes prolific
gee hes lived an “interesting” life
yoga heroin show biz twins sydney stockholm delaware
music n painting n hanging about
takes from the rich n gives the poor himself
gives it all back in lyrics n musical notes
books of poetry
exhibitions and gigs and a night in a nyc jail
a dopey olde pothead
loved by his fiendss
reviled by his detractors
a rude kind brilliant dull man
now hes fat
now hes thin
now hes young
now hes old
now hes back
now hes gone
who am i?
i am who you say i am

me n minna again

sleep like the dead
wake up n feel fucking awful
depressed a little anxious n achey
i do my long overdue washing in the basement with minna
minna who is more like her mother goes out of her way
to make me feel comfortable n feel welcome
elli who is more like me is casual n aloof
oh i want to hold her and be her dad so badly
but her demeanour does not encourage it
she is something like a swedish 18 year old me in spades in some ways
both girls are unbelievably gorgeous
graceful slender and with lovely accents
minna talks too fast…she always has
people say she is new york n elli is l.a.
one can see the validity in that
i havent seen either of them for a year
how strange….
i saw my dad everyday
neither of them are particularly interested in my music
or in my touring
or in my “fame”
minna vaguely complains (in a lighthearted way)
about church fans contacting her on her facebook n myspace
if youre thinking about it
you’ll get short shrift from em
especially elli i would imagine
who already seems to have that certain weariness
that some beautiful girls/women carry
theyve already heard it all before
and they dont wanna chat about their old man
i tell you truly
they are no more interested in the church
than i was interested in “les kilbeys service”
and they quickly tune out if i talk about it
minna shows me a new program called spotify
which enables you to listen to almost any song you can think of
but not download
we listen to some old supremes n bee gees etc
minna n i and an australian friend of theirs staying here
go out to see a photo exhibition on one of the islands
a huge yacht sails under a bridge as we walk over
people lie on the deck suntanning n drinking
i yell out
“hey, hows the recession going?”…but no one except me laughs
we stop in kungstradgarden for sandwiches n juice
and the kids quiz me about my misadventures with drugs
i tell em
DONT TAKE ANYTHING!
sadly both elli n minna smoke cigarettes
i seem powerless to dissuade them
so i just have to live with it i guess
but….how fucking stupid…..smoking…sigh
all my kids do well at school n i’m very proud of them
i’m sure they will have bright futures
if the tertiary life is what they want
i havent been the best dad…ha ha..what an understatement
to you lot
who read my blog
im some mercurial songwriting bohemian geezer
to my kids
i’m an olde broke hippy
they see once in a blue moon
well you reap what you sow
and i guess this is what ive sown
yes
i reckon they will ” come around ” eventually
but karin raised these kids on her own (and her husband gorm)
(who is a very cool bloke!)
and the girls treat me with some caution
they are immersed in fashion n texting n goss mags etc
i see in the latest swedish goss mag
that beckham is now rooting angie jolie
THEY WISH!!
the two greatest goss royal fambleys colliding…
???
nah…i dont believe it…
a thousand goss mag editors must be in paroxysms of delight
now we need obama to run off with camilla parkyer-bowels
and all hell will break loose
in aust little evie starr is throwing off the flu
but the others getting it
i fear for my wife n lil sk
I COULD NOT BEAR TO LOSE THEM!!!
i hope that they can get thru this till i get home
in just over a week
i’m not missing touring at all
in fact i am so sleep deprived
it was a relief to stop
i had been sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night
sometimes less
and a crazy fucked up brain like mine needs its respite
stockholm is a wonderful city in summer
its denizens are seemingly wealthy n healthy
and many of the men n women are statuesque n good looking
the food is shockingly expensive
i pay 20 u.s. dollars for a tomato roll (i chucked the cheese away)
and a bottle orange juice
20 dollars!!!!
how do they afford it…?
the city is quite empty (and the crystal burns)
and i hope to visit their summer house
almost all swedes have a summer house
and believe me
summer in the country or in the islands here is idyllic
if only there was no winter n summer was not so short…
but thats like life aint it?
and thats like kilbey too
always wanting the easy without the hard, isnt it?
the tour already seems an eon ago in my mind
in australia
i am doing another kev carmody gig in brisbane
a benefit in melbourne for my dear friend sam sejavka
and then the choich do some acc gigs round newcastle
(hey david.r..i bet i can getcha front row seats
if the ATO aint slung me in jail first)
then some proper shows round chrissy
…in adelaide and perth too…!
meanwhile we have” down to the cardboard” in the wings
a project marty n jorden brebach finished off
a mysterious “krautrock instr. album”
you may have heard bits n pieces slyly played before n after our gigs
marty watching me listening “steve…whats this?”
me : “i dunno …but its fucking good, man”
marty with smirk ” its “down to the cardboard”
i look forward to hearing the whole thing…
yes yes
we also have hours n hours of live footage
surely one day a new live dvd will emerge
but dont ask me when
not my department…
it may surprise you all to know
i do not call all the shots
but i dont
n i gotta shrug n say
i dunno
when asked bout this n that

ok
a few things
will the people who said they have” a christmas story” contact my gmail
there it is at the top of the page
i will give you instructions on where to send it (i’ll barter something)
dont send stuff to karmic hit for me thanks

second
dont forget about the boxed set
its available at my art web site
thats just on yer right there
it contains a cd of me raving on blogg-style
against instrumental music
and 19 high quality prints from my pittsburgh exhibition
strictly strictly limited
kudos to holly who hand assembles them n who actually
put the whole thing together
kudos again to kim c-h who did the graphics
if you like my bloggs
n you wanna hear me ranting n carrying on
this is an item for you

third
no use writing nasty stuff
i’m not printing it
I’M NOT EVEN READING IT>>>SO DONT BOTHER
first bit of unconstructive bullshit and bang
i hit delete
i cant handle it
so go bother bono…eh?

as for the rest
i dont know how i feel
i go up n down
n round n round
i wonder when i’ll finally grow up….if ever
thats it for today
its 12 30 at night here in sweden
no midnight sun
but lovely warm weather
a fine fine evening
i drop round n visit my old friend mark
who i only known for thirty years
hopefully catch up with martin k tomorrow or soon

ok my fiendss
from the venice of the north
(thats stockholm, you fools)
much love
sk

me n minna

arrived in sweden
u.s. airways : terrible
terrible food
terrible conditions
terrible flight

elli has pneumonia
minna n i have quorn cutlets for dinner
we walk around
so tired
i could sleep n sleep for weeks n weeks

weather is nice
stockholm is beautiful
but i am so weary now
thats it for today i guess
long blog tomorrow
love
sk