The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

its over
boxing day
another day in m’life over and done
we swam
we ate
we washed up
we walked up a hill and looked at syddley
the hubba bridge
the oprah house
the lites
we looked at the pacific o
stretching away to the horizon
impervious
containing deep mysteries
(leviathan, to name but one)
loads o people on beach
loads o sun burne
loads o sore and sorry celtic type backpackerss to morrow
you just gotta know it
a man lying on a silver aluminium mat
frying in coconut oil
no thanks
im a vegetarian
many people in gee strings
who had no business wearing em
the gay guys have the best bodies
abdomens like concrete
buns o steeele etc
the heter os all pasty flabby
and gone to the dogs
go figure skate
hardly any waves
more like the mediterranean
had bruschetta for lunchy
oh dear sk
have ya dried up
will ya stoop to telling em what ya had for lunchy?
that wont get back the dwindling xmas traffic
on yer blogsite
(its true, look at the counter)
i thought i was a bigger pull than xmas
but
sadly
i was wrong
rode a bike
ran out of pot
hope the dealers aint gone on holidaze, sk
looks like ya miss calculayted a little
what a time to run out….
oh i hate it
when their mobile doesnt even ring
it goes straight to the answering machine
“hi, you reached pam and perry
we cant take yer call
cos we’re miles away from sydney
so if you called up wanting dope..
you gotta be jokin’
see ya in 2006″
sk must swallow pridey
must ring olde deelahs
whom he had abandoned
long time ago
sk :is this bill ?
bill: yep
sk ; hi its steve….steve kilbey…..!
bill ;yep
sk : i’s wundring if you got any ….
bill : nope
click
fuck
bastard!
i didnae want his fuckin purple heads no how
i’d much rather sit here straight
sober and clean
and blogg on regardless
maybe i ‘ll just give bill another try
just in case
sk : hello bill
bill : sorry mate
i already told ya..
sk : but bill
how would you like an autographed copy of el momento descuidado..?
bill : whos it by?
sk: the choich!!!
bill : nope
click
fuck
bastard
fine
im gonna be straight then
no worries
im sure i can write sumpthing while im straight
…….
…….
………
,,,
……
it’ll come, for sure….
ok
im gonna go round bills house
make him see how serious i am
let him see how big
and possibly dangerous i look
in the dark
hang on
i think hes got some plants growing in ye olde backe yarde
over the fence i go
oooh there they are
wow….
“oh hello bill
just came round to slip this cd under yer back door anyways..
whats that….?
come in fer a smoke….?
well, i dinae really have the time
but….
alright…
fuck it
just a quick one
then i must get back to mah blogging
whats a blog, do ya say, bill…?
its mah online diary
where i write about mah life
even stuff like this….
ha ha
even about drug deelahs like you
bill davidson
ha ha
of 2/76 neptune st
west bondi
nsw 2026
ha ha
this blogging
its a peace of cake!

boxxing day, fiends
hip hip hooray
now i know ya dont have boxxing day in the usa
tough luck, you american idles
cos us aussies
and pommies
are just gonna have all the fucken fun
ourselves
boxxing day
calloo callay
i chortled in my joy
strange out there on streeties
exxed up party goers
collide with fambleys on the way for
early morning swimmy
out there a party still struggles on
despite daylight
despite the prevailing of common sense
the partys over, you idiots
go home
have a nice warm bath
and pray you aint gonna feel
like we both know you gonna feel
tomorrow
what goes up
must come down
as above
so below
that stuff you took
just sucked every goode thing
it could find in the very fuckin’ marrow
of yer boddy
oh yeah
just like a loco motive
running on full steam
yer eccy pill
or whatever the hell that was keeping yer engines o pleasure
burnin’ all nite long
HOWEVER
and its a big however, baybee
HOWEVER
to do that
it took next weeks energy
and tomorrows good mood
and next tuesdays endorphins
you were gonna need them
after your tennis match with gerald
so i dunno
will you use this sage advice yourself, sk?
no, probably not….
but at least i have identified the time theft principle
for ya
so remember
dont look on the drug as the thing itself
its more like a thug
who coshes the dude in yer nervous system
who normally doles out the good feelings
a little more cautiously

ah
im a walking fountain o’ knowledge
for all things sacred and profane
why hasnt some govement
why hasnt some huge corp
some org.
hired me
in an advisory capacity natch

i must admit ole sk lucked out again
my new lil baby scarlet
is very civilised
for someone of 9 weekes olde
lovely moddish black hairdo
we all like to do it our own way
after her bathy
and shes seems to have been on this ride before
(surprise surprise)
she already knows the ropes
does all the right stuff
good on ya baby bouncer !

my mum came round yesterday
we watch a new dvd (the 80s sumpthin’)
its got the choich
doin ungarded gnome tent
on countdown circa 1981
how excruciatingly awful
how hilarious and sombering
how everything and nuthin’

strange scenes on bondi beach yessaday
many coppers
some in the special division gear
marchin’ up an down
getting their gators wet
posing for pictures with yon pretty gurls
and chil’ren
protecting uss from our fuckin’ selves
whoah
thats pathetic
havent we learned one damn thing?
will we ever learn one damn thing?
is it even possible?
does this planet seem like an obstacle course to you 2
does it seem to have mechanisms built into it
that are there to make it so much bloody harder?
doesnt seem that just when ya stretch out yer hand
to claim yer reward
the manne appears
no no sk
(INSERT YER OWN INITIALS IF YER LIKE)
you didnt pay yer blah blah blah
or fill in yer blah blah blah
or declare yer palace in india
or yer oil wells in ireland
or yer apartment above miracle street
everytime you think its gonna happen for ya
theres that manne
cheerfully trampling on yer dreams
fucking up the world for the other 99.9 per cent of us
who jus’ wanna (space) rock
and bring up our dutiful daughters
who wants to fight in a fuckin’ war?
just this tiny tiny tiny lil bunch
of blood thirsty cowardssss
they leave it all to us proles
(at least in ye olde olden days
the king men were the 1st up the
fuckin’ front of le battle)
the kinda pricks you wouldnt hire for any other gig
cos theyre too stupid dishonest and ugly
you know the @#&^ers im talkin of
the ones who always you-naminously vote themselves a raise
the ones who got yer grandfathers killed
the ones in the fuckin suits with the weird smiles
the reptilians
the greedy vicious priveleged little ratbagges

jesus, sk
what a rant
the white houses on yer tail now
visas cancelled mysteriously
(christ, theyre not so keene on me , as it is!!)
men in dark suits followin me home from yoga
navy seals in the ice bergs poole
( i will not follow you to the seal line)
helicopters hovering outside
while my hands rockin’ the cradle
miked up dolphinss swimming wid me
in the briny waves
bugging devices in the veg cafes
(i’ll have a tempeh burgah and soy sedition pie)
fuck em
they cant bust sk
they fear the wrath of the bohemianss
the white witches
the olde hippies
the acupuncturists
the past life regressors
the guitar pickers
la poetss
the surfers
the nudistss
the yoga teachers
the naturopaths
the whales
potters
winos
dreamers
goths
they couldnae stand up to our collective might
imagine if the bohemian empire was to suddenly disappear?
itd be like 1950s all over again
before sgt pepper and pot n acid
destroyed the “straights” veneer
and exposed the ugly brutal pointlessness
of their evil schemes
but
my bohemian conspirateurs
but
if it wasnt for uss
theyd have no one to persecute
no one to holde downe
no one to smother
manipulate
harangue
and harass
make 2006 a bohemian year, you fiendss
i enjoin you on this task
i crave 100 per cent bohemian ness from ya all
do something bohemian this boxxing day
blow a spliff in a “straights”ss face
drop acid and admire the flowers
in the botanic gardens where the “straights”
are havin their bar b q
tell em ya dont dig their disgustin altar
tell em ya dont believe in workin for the manne
tell em yer dont care fer their pig fat
or their hairspray
wear floral or paisley, that’ll show em
wear elephant cords by lee cooper
wear bearcat jeans
wear anti-lopes and zigger jackets
wear beatle boots or thongs
wear flowers in yer hair
if ya got no hair
get a hare
and make him wear the flowers
look at the clouds
and appreciate gods supreme talent as an artist
kiss someone cute whos a bohemian an’ say
you know….yore really special….
project nice thoughts to the birds
theyre waiting for it
stand on the beach
or in the towne square
and scream
i cant believe that (insert name here of leader)
iss the best fuckin leader we could fuckin find in this country!!!
cmon people
sk for governor general now
i got the uk-aust-us-euro- links down
im a genius
(arent i?)
im handsome in a statesmen like way
(aftah mah makeover, natch)
i’ll stop all the fuckin argy bargy
legalise the goode stuffe
piss off the badde stuffe
for , like, ever, BAYBEE
and youll never see corruption
graft
or prostitutes
under me
thats right
ring yer congress fuckin’ man now
and demand
SK
now
dont wait
remember
all the way
with SJK

as promised
xmas night special
disproportionate number of oirish backpackers
stumblin’ thru bondi streets
clutching slabs o beer
warm aromatic night
surrounded by distant celebration
the boomp booomp of a disco
laughs
shouts
cars zoom in n out of earshot
flat sitting
i look out a hillside of apts and bungalows
blocks o flats
and cottages
red neon
yellow neon
a film set almost
sky a dark faded purple
xmas all but gone
still there is boxing day
box o gifts?
boxer dogs ?
boxer rebellion?
boxer shorts?
boxer bloody ears?
boxing day is a poor mannes xmas
imagine being born on boxing day
imagine that….
today i saw muslims in santa suits
christians in red indian head dress
hindus in the ocean
buddhists flying thru the air
on magic carpets
jains squashing cockroaches
atheists in church
on their bloody knees
i saw men kissing men
women kissing women
old men kissing the sky
young men kissing the earth
the sea kissing the sand
the clouds
remaining aloof
and biblical
ole sk body surf w/ chldrn for hours
a little burnt
a little chafed
a little all-over-the-plaice
the sea heals
no doubt about it
it washes the day off yer back
outta yer hair
how can ya be angry with some
fatbellied record exec
when yer up to yer chin
in pacific o ?
cures yer headaches
washes off neg energy
turns yer hair into cotton wool
makes yer nipples sore
evie somewhat puzzled: mum, my boobies hurt….
a vege burgah in the park opposite beachy
chipps too
the others have some fishy
people on ecstasy leaving yonder dance party
stumble by
happy xmas to yer all….and the baby too…no, i mean it !!
i want some o whatever that druid was on
lovely evenin’ guv’nor
yeah, you too mate
brother john made compo cd for me
listnin today
had to laugh at some the stuff
i thought was so goode
once upon a time
terminal street by be bop de luxe
some of it so great
some quite hilarious
just like the choich i spose
elektra n miranda have come home
they have some gifts for me
i should let you go
i should get off here tonite
xmas is dead people
long live boxing day
ess kay

loyalties
dont ya jus’ love em
always loyalties
got ole sk caught between two lovers
actin’ like a foole
over a barrel
on the horns of a dilemma
eg scene backstage in,say, london
sk standing after having rocked for 2 solid hours
(and rolled for the same period)
sk with glass o champers in one hande
and spliffy w/white widow in other
punter a appears
sk : oh punter a….its you…how are ya, mah friend???
punter a : hi ya man, well ya see mah cat died, mah mother married a prince
in arabia, i got mah ph fucken d at last, and mah brother billy, well, he…
Suddenly punter b turns up
punter b : hey hey ess kay….!
now the painfull part, my groons
does sk cut off punter a and rudely interrupt his story
or does he ignore punter b
who he hasnt seen for 15 years
and who once helped him escape from a turkish jail…?
what i have tended to do is to try to accomodate em both
and usually both have gone off in a huffy
thinkin ole sk is one rude druid
but
i say
but
how many other people hit a city
and thenne suddenly
runne into 27 olde pals at once?
same as now
should i bee home opening the pressies with yon kiddiwinks
OAR
should i be reminiscing here wid chew
my devotee
my favoured one
my true love
my bloggy-woggy-all-in-a-foggy
also elektra and miranda still sleeping in their room
they were up late
wrapping and rapping
coming in my room every time
i was nearly in the arms of morpheus
(read asleep ED)
every time i nearly dropped off…
knock knock
barge inne
(in swedish accent)
just wondering how early you want yer presents, daddy
ITS A FUCKIN MOOT POINT, MAH LIL DAUGHTERS
COS I GET UP AT 6 EVERY DAY
AND YE SLEEPE TILL 11
SO WHY ASK ME THAT NOW???
but i stay silent…
you see….loyalties
and the loyalties between the big twins
and the little twins
here daddy out in the deepe water, where the sharkeys are…!!??
no daddy, you promised youd help us build a sand castle
then
groovy friend of sk whos observin the scene
hey sk me and some friends gonna blow this bone
grab a coffeee
and talk about ye olde art
wanna join us…?

so you see it could bee a 3 way split
or a 4 way street
or even
a penta gone
any how
as i write this
xmas is explding all over austrayliah
“you mean this is all i got?”
“oh how super…an ironing board..!”
“gee thanks kids…a pair of brown socks”
“thats wunderful oscar…i can always use another tea cosy”
“gladys, ta love…..a monogrammed hanky…with yer exs initials..!”

and so on
fill in yer own chrissie gags
ya lazy buggers
why expect me to provide
all the mirth
and
merri
ment
?

any way
i spose i should mosey over chez k
see what satan brought the kids..
see if the raindear manure
will wash outta the rugs
see if my mistletoe has been kissed under
see if my christmas puddy is full o goode cheere
see if the 100 degree heat has melted my santa snow
etc
etc
(insert own xmas cliche here)
(tired of that device, sk ED)
(who is ED sk?)
any way
you gluttonous fiendss
you greedy little *@^%ers
thats it
will bring speshal christmasse nite report
HO HO HO

lovely xmas bash was had
swimming at a fabbo eastern suburbs harbour beachey
sk has too much cakey
sees a stingray
sees a hole in shark net
gets sore throat from schnorkel
but very nice do

amazing to walk home thru quietened
darkened suburbs
xmas lites and shadows
lovely night breeze
voices inside houses
i was thinking
about so many other
xmasses i have had
in canberra w/ dry heat and the smell of pines
in sweden ye olde trad xmas w/ snow and etcs
in wollongong
the incredible din of cicadas in the trees
in the us
w/ snow and etcs
oh come now sk
dont get all nostalgic now
nostalgia ill becomes ya
you olde rebelle

so lets leave all that behind
i am happy here and now
house sitting
somewhere in bondi
the twillies bustle round here and there
speakin’ their nordik jive lingo
sounding impossibly fast
tomorrow is out there waiting
we are heaved forward by time
space squeezes us
life plagues us
human beans run about in a frenzy
and nothing else on this planet
is the slightest bit interested
in our acheivements
and our bullshit
the waves keep coming
the flies keep flying
the bats go thru the summer nite air
the cockroaches are a’rustlin’
the ants are marching
the stars are shining on brightly
whales are out there in the sea
swimming, making love
and avoiding nassssty jappy harpoons
only in this way does man intrude
the bears dont care about parishilton, baybee
the mosquitoes and the moon
are oblivious to tomcruisebradpity
the mountains probably aint gonna come to you
so look at things from a non human perspective
once in a while, my pests
try to drop your man o centric lenses
and dig the vegetal scene
watch the ants
hug a fucking tree
save the life of a stranded jellyfish
or support a collapsing star
do right
use your head
get together
bake some bread
its xmas
its time to take stocke
time to be peaceful
forgive yourself, little baby
let it all go
tonite be happy for a while
set a turkey free
give someone you love
something nice
thats right
see….?
its easy
now
relax
2
3
4
relax
2
3
….oh, forget it
go to a party
one of those amazin’ partees
you gonna remember yer whole life
drink
smoke
eat
snort
drop
love
wake
uh oh
achey achey
oh no
sore tummy
oooh whats that nasssty feelin’?
the wrath of grapes…
a flashbacke….?
a hangover?
a high temp?
manne
you dont look so goode
pace yerself
you gotta still get thru tomorrah
leave out some brandy for santa
wriggle up a chimney
and learn to control a team o flyin fuckin reindear
maybe you bit off too much this time. sk
maybe just a quiet knight inne
maybe just a quick cuppa tea
and its curtains….
drive carefully
fly safely
fade away and radiate
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
from
me

jesus
i hate it when that happens
everything happening twice
im sorry for the inconvenience
just woke up
weird day out there
heavy leaden sky
already v. hot
already v. muggy
the kinda day the world could end
must drag mah self to pool
must do mah laps
must wake up
very quiet here in c and a-ms flattie
twillies asleep in their room
the pools gonna have a load of johnny-come-latelys there
i swim every day of the year
even when the water gets down to 13 c
where are all those summer swimmers then
where are all those bronzed turkees
when sk is swimmin thru the freezin’ brine…?
so you can see
how begrudgingly i share mah poole w/ these fooles
they swim fast in the slow lane
the swim slow in the fast lane
they clog up the sauna
and they lie around roastin their flesh
in an off- puttin’ way
still
its better than chlorine
nassty chlorine, my pets
nassty
ok
i should gette going
im just procrastinatin’ now
why procrastinate now…?
when you could do it tomorrow…
im sure i’ll be back later
with part 2
it seems im up to 2 bloggs a day
not countin false starts
i guess i’ll catch ya thenne…
sk

more thoughts before i retire for the day
sound of drunken “kids” in the distance
laughter, screaming
theyre just having fun
but what is fun
did fun exist 200 years ago
fun is used to justify anything
aw cmon …we were just havin’ fun
let the “kids” have some fun
all i wanna do is have some fun
if sheryl crow married russell crow…..
but im raven on

childs xmas in new south wales
my dad drove me and my mum out
of wollongong
to albion park rail
where there was a forlorn church
surrounded by graves
every xmas they had a little nativity scene
my mum told my dad off
for whistling a xmas carol
should have more respect
our car had indicators that were
these little flaps that lifted out
and blinked
even then
i was plotting
all this
ha!
i used every shred of whatever i could get
to put this all together for ya
my dad told me all he used to get for xmas
in london
was a piece of fruit
i was outraged
but dad, didnt they want you to have fun…?
we didnt have fun back then son
what did yer have daddyo?
we had war
thats where you had yer funne back then
werent you frightened dad ?
i was , son
which was worse dad…the first
or the second world war…?
well, son, they say the first
was the worst…
what was they fighting over, mah daddy o?
i dunno…thatss just the way it was
ymean ya dont know what the first world freakin’ war was about?
nope, still dont…
do you?
didja know that in certain parts of medi evil france
you could get roasted ah live
dependin’ on how you happen’d
to define the trinity
(a fuckin ineffable concept)
people
the critics are having us on
i saw the winner of archibald prize twice now
(thats an ozzie portrait comp, for you foriegnerss)
and i tell ya
its ah tro shus
serious olde emperors clothes number going on
i dare you to say this painting is tripe
so ole sk cruises round yon gallery
puts it to the test
approaches ye olde family
who are standin’ round
and gawking at this fuckin monstrosity in brown
and i says
travesty of justice
cmon people
what do ya really reckon
and the whole fam
burst into vitriolic bile
spewed forth their spleen
on this terrible picture
that won a big prizey
they hated it
and it only needed a little goading
from your humble protagonist
y’see
the critics job
is to foist a dodgy iffy
olde piece of tripe on ya
and then explain to ya
why ya should love it
an’ then you try to
cos aftah all,
theyre a critic
they can spell juxtaposed
and who wants to be a phuckin’ philistine
in an arte gallerie,
who cares
its nearly xmas out there
remember xmas down here is warm
its gonna be 100 degrees tomorrow
imagine the gallons of beer
slurpin down them sunburnt throats
imagine the gurlss on yonder beachie
topless and g stringed
imagine the lifesavers
imagine the ice cream sellers
imagine the sea gulls
the dilapidated pigeons
the tramps among the brazilian coke deelahs
the night markets
the massage parlours
the black waves rollin’ in
imagine me
sittin’ up in c and a-ms flat
house sittin’
alone
its very quiet
soft breezes
10 26 at nite
attitude adjusted
writing to you like an olde friend
cos i miss ya
i remember ya
and one day
we
will
spend
xmas
together

seasons gratings
these are the facts
this is the truth
tho i guess you’d call some of this “lies”
especially if you were a “straight”
especially if you werent in on the joke
especially if it was your life that had been appropriated
especially if the conspiracy had taken yer fender tele
and given yer back an assault rifle
especially if youd done the hard yards
answered the big questions
and made some heavy changes
i know it all looks easy to ya
play a little basse
write a little bloggy
do a little beach combing
a bitta pranayama
sum crawl and breast stroke
but at a much deeper level
i am waging this war
you know who are the foe!
the foe may even be reading these very words right now
the foe may not even be a “straight”
its no surprise things are deterioatin’
i warned ya 20 odd years of grunt ago
remember earthed?
yeah
well it all came true
im still out here fightin’ tho
dismantling the “straights” apparati
wherever the fuck they maybe
or whoever the fuck they may bee..
i gotta song for em
i gotta pome for em
i gotta fookin solution for em
let them bmws rust
abandon those ivory towers
with ocean glimpses and ensuite
throw down yer suits
give up yer exercise bikes
hurl away in disgust the corpse you be nibblin’ on
put everything to do with yer “straight” job
in one file and hit delete
now
get yer alcohol
use yer beer to wash yer hair
or make soup
do not drink
give yer red wine to uncle roger and aunty flo
theyll appreciate a good drop
plus they love to get pissed
get yer spirits
and use em to make tinctures of marijuwahna with
now take all your aftershave
and dispose of it thoughtfully
sorry ladies
give the perfume to st vinnies
its hiding all yer ferrymones
and bouys
you dont have to put all that make up on
or defrizz yer hair
an take those tights off
its xmas, fer gods sake
2006 is coming fast
so learn to make handy things
out of olde sheets of asbestos
found lying in the roof
or practice bullfighting
with the naybores 4 wheel drive
impress yer friendss with renditions from the
sk song book
or the idiots guide to sk
currently # 3
on nth bondi charts
or make xmas decorations from the clouds
and light it up with yer smile
and then fill it with a little goode cheere
look
i have this one already prepared
this is hows yours should be
by the time you get finished
remember not too late too send sk xmas gift
or wait around a scoop up those post xmas barginns
whatever
as if i give a flying fucking fuck
im cool with jesus
he and i both know it aint his birthday on sunday no how
they co opted an olde pagan fuckin hol, my friendss
jesus was the 13 of sept or something
give me a brake
i honour that man every day of the year
and i think of him always
yet seldom resmble him at all
jesus aint about religion
jesus aint about this side n that side
jesus aint about do this n don do that
jesus is take it easy
jesus is its ok
jesus is it happens to all of us
dont blame churches on him
dont blame archbishops and steeples
or fuckin inquisitions
or fuck ing witch hunts!!!
or latin blah blah blahs
he never had anything to do with that
sk aint no member of nobodies flock
but if ya read the new testa mento desquidado
if you do actually read it
(AN YA KNOW WHAT?
i know some of ya haver never read it….)
you have to come away thinking
that if jesus was the lead singer
of (insert name of fave groop here)
they could definitely sell out newt town
quite comfortably
for quite a few nights
cos the man had a way with language
and he had charisma….jesus
he defined charisma
all charisma is but a pale imitation of his own
on every level
one of the goode guys
for sure
a bohemian to boot
but whos counting?
so
celebrate
go wilde
oscillate wildly
party on dudes
have a simply splendid get together
or whatever you may call it
im gonna have a body surf
and ruminate on
you know who

have pushed wrong button again
have entered universe of the “straights”
have had security compromised
all i have to give is the serial number o’ mah basse
paisley shirtes confiscated
earrings beaten into cufflinks
captain requires crew to be seated
this could be bumpy
flotilla of beer gutted record execs(B.G.R.E.s)
coverging
playing elton john at high volume
inducing panic in bohemian crew
journalistic scum penetrating the shield
grovelling bakebean and bevvy pommy journo
sending badde review our way
big important yankee CE fuckin O
ordring us to have a fuckin nothah hitte
whole world gone madde
now sk
jettison the obvious
ah…..
thats it…!
you amazingly well preserved olde astranewt
youve done it again
uninvited like the fershlugginer clouds
a mastahpeece, thats fer shore
enuff wi’ tha badde spellling
time for this olde galaktic hippy
to hit the outer limits within
voyage interieur
sleeeep
sssshhhhh
the olde rocker has already left
the billding